by Reilly, Cora
“At seven.”
I chanced a look at the clock on the wall. It was almost five by now and it would take a bit to get ready for a party. “I assume I should wear a dress?”
“There’s no dress code,” Mom said, then eyed my sweater and jeans. “But a dress would be good.”
I wished Amy were here to dress up and for moral support. Rachel would be at the party, and so would Ben, the reason why Rachel and I had stopped talking. I needed to look good. “I'll find something appropriate,” I said to Mom, then turned and left the kitchen.
I took the steps two at a time and stepped into my old room. It still looked exactly as I’d left it three years ago. There were even still the empty spots on the wall where photos of Rachel and me had hung before I’d removed them. Bruno trotted after me into my bedroom and jumped on my bed.
“No,” I said firmly and set him down to the ground. After the last few weeks, he apparently thought that he could sleep on my bed whenever he wanted. He turned his furry butt toward me and strutted toward his dog basket, the only new addition to the room since I’d moved out.
I smiled a little as I watched him. I'd managed not to think about Adrian those last few minutes but now everything seemed to be crashing down on me. I closed my eyes and sucked in a deep breath. A confrontation with Rachel was really the last thing I needed on my plate right now. Having successfully fought the urge to cry, I took another breath and opened my eyes. I perused my wardrobe for an appropriate dress. There wasn't much to choose from and I hadn’t packed any fancy dresses.
Two dresses hung in my wardrobe. I’d worn neither for years. A dark-red, floor-length dress that I'd worn to my cousin’s wedding two years ago, and my prom dress. Since I thought that a bridesmaid dress was a bit too much for a party, I grabbed my prom dress. It was a cocktail dress that reached my knees. The fabric was dark-green and looked like silk, and the corset was embroidered with twine a shade darker than the actual dress. It showed a bit more skin than I was usually comfortable with outside of work, since it had spaghetti-straps and a low neckline. Dad had thrown a fit when he'd seen it the first time but he'd let me wear it to prom after some arguing.
I decided to take another shower. Afterward, I lay down on the bed to rest a bit. I hadn’t gotten all that much sleep last night.
***
A couple of minutes before six I startled awake. Knocking was coming from my door. “Nora?” Mom opened the door and stepped in without waiting for my reply. Would she ever learn to honor my privacy? She took in my rumpled appearance as I sat yawning on my bed. “You need to get ready for the party. You didn’t change your mind, did you?”
“No,” I said and got out of bed. Mom’s eyes landed on the prom dress I’d put over my desk chair. “That’s what you’re going to wear?”
“Yes. I don’t have anything else, and I always thought it was a pity that I only wore it once. It’s not a wedding dress after all.” I regretted my words as soon as I saw my mother’s expression. A bloodhound on a trail.
“So,” she said too casually. “Is there someone? A boyfriend?” Then when I glared at her. “Or girlfriend?”
“Oh God.” I seized the prom dress. “It would be a boyfriend, Mom, don’t worry.”
“I’m not worried about you being gay,” she said. “I just want you to be happy. For you to find someone. I don’t care if it’s a man or a woman. You can’t share your life with a pug forever.”
“I won’t.” Or will I? “It’s just hard to find the right person. Can we please not talk about this anymore? I need to get ready.”
She nodded slowly, then left without another word. Bruno rushed through the door after her. Traitor.
I got out of my clothes and slipped into the soft dress before I pulled my hair out of its ponytail and brushed it until it flowed down my back nicely. Then I put some make up on and searched for shoes that would go with the dress. After some rummaging I found a pair of black ballerinas and put them on. When I straightened up, I realized I should have brought high heels. The dress looked much better with them. But the only shoes that would have matched the dress were the high heels I’d worn last night. No, thank you. The party would hopefully distract me from these thoughts.
“Nora, are you ready?” Dad called from downstairs. Mom was probably miffed at me for refusing to talk about my love life with her. Love life, what a joke.
“Yes,” I shouted and took a deep breath, trying to stop thinking of him. I left my room and hurried down the steps. Dad stood in front of the mirror in the hall, fidgeting with his tie but he looked up when he heard my steps and smiled. “You look beautiful,” he said, then frowned. “That dress looks familiar.”
I grabbed his tie and straightened it. “The last time I wore it, you freaked.”
“I did?”
“Yes, I wore it for prom and you said it was too revealing.”
“Oh. Well, you were so young back then. I had to protect you.”
“And now I’m old, so you don’t have to worry?”
He grinned. “No, now you’re a grown woman and can take care of yourself.”
If he only knew.
Mom bustled out of the kitchen, carrying the apple pie and dressed in a gorgeous dark blue, knee-length dress. “You look great,” I said. She looked surprised and I felt guilty. I knew I should be nicer to her. “Thanks, darling. So do you. It’s a good sign that you still fit into your prom dress. Many girls gain weight after graduation. I suppose all the stress in college leads to overeating. At least, there’s one good thing about your decision to work.”
I let her comment go, and thankfully Dad opened the door. “We should get going or we’ll be late.”
“Where do they celebrate?” I asked as we got into the Toyota.
“The party is held at their house. They have more than enough space after all,” Mom said.
I remembered the huge house of the Millers. Rachel’s family was old money. I’d spent so many days and nights there, having slumber parties, eating popsicles on their swing hammock.
“Nora, are you sure you are quite alright?” Dad glanced at me through the rearview mirror.
“I'm fine, Dad.”
“She doesn’t want to talk to us,” Mom said in a hurt tone.
Why had I thought coming home was a good idea?
Five minutes later, we drove into the private road that led up to the Miller’s house, though mansion would have been the more appropriate term. We pulled up in front of a magnificent house with a huge driveway that circled around a small fountain. I didn’t know anyone else who had a fountain. A strange sensation of wistfulness washed over me as I took in my surroundings. I hadn’t even realized until now that I’d missed this place, that I’d missed Rachel. We’d spent so much time together, sitting on the edge of the fountain, dipping our feet into the cold water, talking about school, teachers, our favorite bands and boys. Most of the time we’d been alone. Rachel’s father had worked all day in the family business and Rachel’s mother had been busy helping him. When we were young, at least Rachel’s brother had still been around sometimes, though he’d avoided us. He’d been seven years our senior and had stayed in his room when I was there. After he graduated, when we were eleven, he was never around anymore.
Dad found a free spot and parked the car. There were already more than a dozen cars parked around the driveway. We got out of the car and walked up to the front door with its white stone columns. Suddenly, I froze, remembering something. Rachel’s brother had been called Adrian.
Chapter Seventeen
Adrian Miller, not Black. Mom and Dad looked over their shoulders at me. I’d fallen a few steps behind. The tension leaked out of my body. And Rachel’s brother had looked nothing like my Adrian. My Adrian?
Not that I remembered that much about Rachel’s brother. He’d been blond like Adrian Black, all the Millers were blond and he’d even had green eyes, but he’d also been overweight. And not just a little chubby. He’d been the fat kid in school.
The genius, fat kid.
I almost laughed in relief. And Adrian hadn't mentioned Harrington or Rachel or his parents, not that we’d talked about his private life that much.
“Are you coming?” Mom asked, a hint of impatience in her voice. Dad’s hand was already poised over the bell, waiting for me to catch up with them.
I let out a small breath and joined them in front of the door. The sound of Jazz music and laughter was coming from inside the house. Dad gave me a small frown, but he didn’t ask any questions. Mom on the other hand looked like she was going to combust from curiosity. She knew something was going on. I hoped she would blame it on my broken friendship with Rachel.
Dad rang the bell and a minute later the door was opened and Frank Miller stood there, beaming at us. My breath got stuck in my throat. Dad and he shook hands, then Mr. Miller kissed my mother’s hand. Mr. Miller was practically the older version of Adrian. His eyes were the exact shade of green as Adrian’s, his hair was the exact shade of golden blond as Adrian’s. They even had the same strong jaw. But Adrian’s last name was Black, not Miller. Maybe he was a distant cousin, who wasn’t invited and only by accident looked like the spitting image of Frank Miller. And then another memory crashed my hopes. Rachel’s mother had been called Black before the marriage. Adrian must have assumed her name after high school. Fuck.
But wait a minute. Maybe the fact that Adrian had changed his name meant he hated his father and wasn’t invited to the party. A girl could hope, right?
I realized three pairs of eyes were watching me. “Nora,” my mother said tensely. “Are you listening?”
I smiled apologetically. “I’m sorry. I was lost in my thoughts.”
“No worries, Nora. It’s been a long time,” Frank Miller said with a smile. “I’m sure Rachel will be happy to see you.”
Mom gave me her ‘see? I told you so’ – look. I had more important things on my mind than a potential fight with Rachel. It was nothing in comparison to the major embarrassment a meeting with Adrian would be. For a moment, I considered asking Mr. Miller if his son was called Adrian Black, but then I pushed the thought aside. That would make Mom really suspicious and I couldn’t risk her breathing down my neck during the party. I didn’t want her anywhere close to me when I ran across Adrian. My stomach coiled tightly. Maybe I could just pretend I didn’t feel well and leave. I wouldn’t even have to pretend that much. I was actually feeling like I was going to be sick.
Mr. Miller stepped aside and opened the door wider. “Come in.” Mom and Dad followed him inside but I was frozen to the spot.
“Nora?” Mom raised her eyebrows at me. I gathered my courage and entered the house. The two story high entrance hall was deserted but I could hear voices in the other rooms of the house and it sounded like half of Harrington was here, but I didn't care who was here, as long as it wasn't him.
“Here let me take this from you and bring it into the kitchen,” Mr. Miller said, relieving my mother of her apple pie. He disappeared into the kitchen, his dress shoes clicking on the white marble floor, but returned less than a minute later. He led us into the vast living area with floor-to-ceiling windows that overlooked the forest bordering their premises. But that wasn't what took my breath away and made me feel faint.
Adrian. There he stood at the other end of the room beside the enormous stone fireplace, dressed in a black business suit, a white dress shirt and a silver tie. He was smiling at his mother who hovered beside him. Then his green eyes settled on me. The smile dropped from his face and he looked every bit as shocked as I felt. Feeling Mom’s eyes on me, I tried to keep my face neutral. I wasn’t sure I was succeeding because my insides felt like they were turning to liquid.
As if on autopilot I followed Mr. Miller through the gathered guests, occasionally forcing a smile in the direction of a familiar face. We were heading straight for Adrian and his mother.
Please, let the ground swallow me.
Adrian’s eyes were on me the entire time, but I couldn’t look at his face. My gaze hovered somewhere in the empty space between him and his mother. Eventually we all arrived beside them. My parents exchanged meaningless pleasantries with Mrs. Miller, and all the while my throat was tightening painfully. A hand on my shoulder startled me from my descent into panic, and I glanced up into Mr. Miller’s face. He nodded toward Adrian. “That's my son, Adrian,” he said, with a smile that wasn’t as earnest and relaxed as it had been before. “I know it’s been a long time, and Adrian’s has lost a lot of weight, but you surely remember him?”
Bracing myself, I leveled my eyes with Adrian’s. His face didn’t give an emotion away. I wished I had his talent. It probably came in handy when he lured women into his bed. I dug my nails into my palms, and willed my lips into a smile, though it was the last thing I wanted to do. I wanted to laugh sarcastically, or burst into tears, I hadn't decided yet. But most of all I wanted to shout, so his parents would hear. Why yes! He's the man who's taken my virginity against a wall last night.
That would certainly go over well. An awkward silence followed. My parents and Adrian’s parents looked back and forth between Adrian and me. Mr. Miller frowned at his son. “You both live in New York. Have you crossed ways there?”
The moment I blurted “No!”, Adrian said “Yes.”
I wanted to slap him.
Another very, very awkward silence ensued, and I looked anywhere but at Adrian, or my mother who was watching me suspiciously. Even Dad seemed puzzled by the strange interaction. I really didn’t want him to realize that Adrian had slept with me. I could feel Adrian's eyes on me, practically burning into my skull, but he didn't say anything. The right choice considering our company, not that I wanted to talk to him.
“Shouldn't you know if you've met or not?” asked Mom and her tone was a bit harder than usual. She was definitely suspicious, and that was never a good thing with her. She could follow a trail like a bloodhound.
Someone wrapped an arm around my shoulder, startling me, but I managed not to jump visibly. Rachel’s face appeared in my peripheral vision.
“They met at my party. There were so many people, no wonder they can't remember their encounter anymore. And Adrian left after only thirty minutes anyway,” she said, giving Adrian a reproachful look. She was exactly as I remembered her. Tanned skin, golden blond hair, green eyes and long legs. She was the most beautiful girl I knew. How could I not have seen the similarity with Adrian?
She didn't even blush the slightest bit despite her lie. My face would have been flaming red after such a blatant lie. She and Adrian were really one of a kind. Beautiful liars.
Why was she even helping me? The last time we talked, we screamed at each other and I told her that I hated her. I tilted my head slightly to get a better look at her and she gave me a curt smile. I wouldn't necessarily call it warm, but I guessed it was the best she could do in the current situation.
“I didn't know you were friends again,” said Mom with a piercing look. I squirmed slightly under the intensity of her gaze, but again Rachel came to my rescue. She put her previous smile to shame as she beamed at my mother. “It’s still quite fresh. We didn’t want to jinx it. We still have lot of stuff to work through.”
A lot of stuff to work through. I almost snorted. There was and had always been only one thing we had to work through: Ben. But even he was old news now. I didn’t look behind myself to see if he was with Rachel. Years ago he had never been far from her.
Mom wasn’t used to people who could lie so skillfully, so she bought everything and actually smiled as if this was the best news ever. I really wished I had Rachel's skills, then maybe I wouldn't have fallen prey to Adrian's charm so easily. A good liar could see through another good liar’s lies, right?
I lifted my gaze and my eyes met Adrian's. He didn't look happy, his jaw tightened, but I averted my eyes too fast to analyze his expression better.
“I need to go to the bathroom,” I murmured, my gaze directed at nothing in particular, but avoi
ding the eyes of the people around me. This was too much baggage from the past for one evening.
“I show you where you can find it,” Rachel suggested instantly.
“I remember where it is,” I snapped, then regretted it. “But thank you.”
Rachel and I stared at each other, and the word ‘I’m sorry’ hovered on my tongue. Not for the past, at least not all of it, but for my behavior right now, but our parents and Adrian were watching us. I didn’t want this to get any more awkward than it already was.
Rachel didn’t seem to take my ‘no’ for an answer. She always got what she wanted. That’s why she went to prom with Ben and I had to settle on Chris. “I’ll take you there anyway.” She gripped my forearm and steered me away from Adrian and our parents, and past Ben who had been standing a few steps behind her with a group of people we knew from high school. He gave me a hesitant smile. Three years ago that would have made my heart speed up and fill my head with stupid fantasies, but now it meant nothing. Adrian had ruined me for other men, at least for the near future.
Rachel led me into the entrance hall and toward the bathroom in the back of the house. Eventually I shook her grip off and we walked side by side silently.
I dreaded being alone with her, fearing what she would say. I had a feeling that she suspected about last night, or she wouldn't have come to our rescue like that. Maybe Adrian had even told her about it. I could only imagine what she thought of me now. A horrible thought struck me. What if he’d remembered me even if I didn’t recognize him because he’d turned from chubby boy wonder to fucking hot womanizer? What if last night had been some fucked up way to take revenge on me for what happened between Rachel and me?
We stopped in front of the door and I was quivering with repressed anger. What if Rachel had even told him to do it? I curled my fingers around the door handle, my knuckles turning white from the pressure. I searched her eyes, but like Adrian she was good at keeping her emotions hidden. “You know about last night, right?” My voice was low.