by Donna Fasano
And that was exactly what he’d keep on doing from now on. No way would he tell her that he’d written Aftermath. Not now. “Maybe I don’t feel like talking about what I do.”
“Then don’t get angry if people jump to conclusions. Or get crazy ideas. Or go off on some fantasy.”
He smirked. “Like you’d ever have a fantasy about a schoolteacher.”
“So what if I do have a weakness for exciting men? Like men don’t encourage it and make their own ridiculous demands? Those gaudy lions flaunting their fancy cars, fat wallets, and fame? Ordinary females need not apply. Only women under a certain age with movie star looks will be considered.”
“Like you’re not one of them? A TV star plastered all over the tabloids with your famous boyfriend?”
She snorted. “Hey, it’s a jungle out there and we all survive in our own way.”
“It’s a jungle, all right. And we wouldn’t want a top-of-the-food-chain ballerina-actress like you wasting your time with a bottom-feeder like me. You better go back to your lions.”
The moment those words came out of his mouth, Aiden felt all the air rush from his lungs. He hadn’t meant to say that, to taunt her into dealing the killing blow to this precious thing they’d just begun. But some self-hating part of him wanted to get it over with. He could barely breathe, waiting for her response as if a guillotine were over his head and about to drop.
“Is that what you want?” she said, in almost a whisper.
His heart leaped. Did he hear a quake in her voice? Or was it just his desperate hope playing tricks on him? Either way, this was his chance. And if he blew it he’d lose her forever. This was it. He had to tell her how much he wanted her.
Except he wasn’t what she wanted. How could he ask her to stay when he couldn’t change who he was?
But the thought of never seeing her again…
Aiden took so long trying to figure out how to answer her that Jenna turned on her heel, strode across the porch, and made an effortless jump over the fence to the other side. As she disappeared into her room, she said over her shoulder, “I get the message. Sorry to have intruded on your cozy little world.”
Aiden sank back to the bench and stared up at the starlit sky that now looked cold and dark.
Chapter 12
Jenna barely slept, not that she wasn’t already a chronic insomniac. But even if she had the fiercest panic attack in the world, no way would she go out on the porch tonight.
Because Aiden was out there.
He stayed there all night. She kept her room dark so he couldn’t see her watching him through her back window. The light from his room cast a glow over his shadowy form, making him appear like some Gothic romance hero. One minute he stared up at the stars, then peered into his telescope, the next he paced the deck, rubbing his neck in a way that, frankly, aroused her.
At one point he looked so sad she was tempted to march outside and put her arms around him. But he was the one who told her to go away. And when she’d asked him if that was what he wanted, giving him a chance to take it back, he offered nothing, no response at all. And she’d thought there was some special kind of thing going on between them. What a joke.
Jenna murmured a couple foul phrases at him and went back to her bed, curling into a ball and crying. When she asked herself why in heck she would be crying over a guy she really didn’t know all that well, she couldn’t answer. But that seemed to be the general theme of her life these days. Questions she couldn’t answer.
Her alarm clock beeped at five. She had an early morning call on the set of Sunrise Lane today. The first episode of the new season would be airing in two days and the show’s director Tony Pacca wanted to get a few extra close-up shots and re-record some fuzzy dialogue.
When Jenna reached the mansion in Southampton where they shot most everything, she threw herself into her work.
And at Sean. She could tell he liked it. After the morning shoot, he asked her to go with him to Bridgehampton to pick up a new tennis racket.
He really was quite adorable. And so sexy. How crazy was she to be chasing after another man when her boyfriend was a guy most women would die for?
Still, Jenna kept mulling over all that had happened with Aiden yesterday. Was it her fault? She was the one who’d initiated the kiss. But he certainly hadn’t resisted her. On the contrary. The memory of his amazing mouth on hers, his hands caressing every part of her, his emerald eyes adoring her sent a warm flood of delicious memories right through her.
She glanced at Sean. A little guilt surfaced. But only a little. He was busy talking about his workout routine. Which meant he’d go on for a good ten minutes without needing or wanting a word from Jenna.
They went out to lunch in Bridgehampton. Of course, he was recognized. And although celebrities were common in the Hamptons even in winter, a little buzz went around the restaurant, followed by fans asking him for autographs and people aiming their cell cams at them.
“Does it ever bother you?” Jenna whispered to him when they were finally left alone to eat the pasta salads they’d ordered. “You know, having people always watching you?”
He shook his head. “I love it.”
“But doesn’t it get intrusive?”
“Nope. I get off on the fact that everybody wants a piece of me. And don’t tell me you don’t like it.” He stroked a finger down her forearm. “You’re an attention slut if I ever met one.”
“I am?” Maybe he was right. Jenna thought back to the way she’d always entertained her parents and siblings with her clowning antics. Or the times when she got a new haircut and had to make sure her brother Parker admired it. And her usual straight-A report card that was shown to everyone, including Mrs. Royce at the dry cleaner.
Her older sister Casey was just the opposite. Always giving someone else the spotlight. She’d even given up her hard-earned money for Jenna’s dance lessons when she was in her twenties—as well as her own dream of being a pro, claiming her younger sister had more talent. And Jenna had worked like mad to live up to everything Casey said about her, making herself the star of the family, thinking she was doing it for her big sis, never even considering she might be hogging the attention away from her.
Am I a terrible person? Was that what Aiden meant when he called her an excitement addict? She had to admit he’d nailed it. The kind of men that excited her always seemed to be larger than life dynamos. Movers and shakers. Men who either liked the spotlight as much as she did—or had the power to put people in the spotlight. Chang had given her the biggest solo of her career, placing her front and center in the company’s most important new dance of the season. Little did he know he would be putting her under the eye of another man like himself—Sean Risk, who was using his power to put her front and center on prime time TV.
So how come she was bored in Sean’s company and was sitting here now wishing she could talk to Aiden? What a mixed-up mess I am.
Jenna carefully masked her upset, not wanting Sean to read her expression, to see she was upset and ask her about it. But then she realized he wouldn’t ask her about it, because he didn’t really care. The only things they ever talked about were careers and “the business,” or what he was buying for his new house, or how to keep your abs tight.
The realization struck her. She’d been dating Sean for about a month, and she’d revealed very little of who she really was to him. And vice versa. Beneath all his power, money and fame, what kind of man was he? Who was he really? She had no clue. In fact, she didn’t know him a whole lot better than most of his fans did. Was that what she was to him? Another fan, only on a slightly higher level?
Her answer came swiftly. She felt Sean’s hand on her thigh under the table.
He leaned toward her and murmured, “Perfect day for sex in my hot tub, don’t you think?”
She tensed, something inside her going cold.
No. She couldn’t even think of having sex with him. Not after the glorious night she’d spent with Aide
n. The way he had touched her, the sweet and silly things he’d said. The explosive, mind-blowing passion between them was like nothing she’d ever experienced before.
“I, um, have to do something for my friend this afternoon. I promised her—”
“Call and tell her you’ll be late.”
“I can’t. She needs me. She had a really bad experience with her abusive husband a couple nights ago.” Jenna started telling him about what happened with Rachel, but in the middle of her story Sean turned to the waitress, who was ogling him, and signaled for the bill.
When the girl came to the table, gushing over how great he was, Sean teased and flirted with her. Jenna didn’t bother trying to finish her tale. He obviously wasn’t interested.
As usual, after they left and were driving back to Southampton in his BMW, Sean said, “Your half was twenty-six bucks.” The first time he’d surprised her with this kind of request Jenna had told herself she preferred to split costs when they went out. She was a modern girl, and this way she was holding her own, not acting dependent.
But it disappointed her. She wanted to understand him and wondered if it had to do with something in Sean’s past. “My family had a lot of financial struggles when I was growing up, and I know that left its mark on how I see money and myself and the world. I read on the Net that you came from an upper class family in California. Is that fiction? Did you really have a hard time as a kid?”
He laughed. “Why would you think that?”
“Well, you never talk about your childhood. Tell me about it.”
He shrugged. “It was all right.”
“And?”
“Well, you know, I played sports. Went out with lots of girls. Even then I was good at that.” He bobbed his eyebrows. “Heh, heh, heh.”
Somehow his answers were even more disappointing than the behavior she tried to understand. “What made you decide to be an actor?”
“Every time I saw a movie I’d think—I belong up on that screen.”
“I wish I could be so sure about what I’m doing.”
He shook his head. “Look, I know you put your all into dancing, but believe me, once the money and fame start rolling in, you’ll never look back.”
Jenna nodded, but she wondered if Sean was really that simple of a person, or if she was just too complicated. She didn’t bother trying to explain or talk about it. She knew Sean wouldn’t understand.
But Aiden would. He understood her in a way no one else ever had. In a few short days he’d touched something deep inside her.
Sean dropped her at the lot where she’d parked her mom’s car. He was still trying to convince her to come home with him and looked disgruntled when she steadfastly refused him.
When Jenna got to the B&B, she headed straight for her room. Or rather the room next to hers. She couldn’t wait to see Aiden. She felt certain they could talk out their misunderstanding and start fresh again.
On the second-floor landing she went to knock on his door but noticed it was slightly ajar. “Aiden?”
The door swung open at her touch. Her heart sank. Jenna had come home craving Aiden’s warmth, but instead she found an empty room, his luggage gone, the bed where they’d made love stripped bare.
She turned and ran downstairs to the office.
Her mom found her searching the files. “What are you looking for?”
“Did Aiden Flynn check out?”
“Yes. Early this morning. Why?”
Jenna paused. “Just curious.” She knew if she went browsing through his file for a contact number, her mother would ask questions.
She faked a smile and gave her mother a full report on how things went with the show this morning. But Jenna’s mind was elsewhere.
On Aiden.
Would he ever come back? Would she ever see him again?
Chapter 13
Jenna barely slept, not that she wasn’t already a chronic insomniac. But even if she had the fiercest panic attack in the world, no way would she go out on the porch tonight.
Because Aiden was out there.
He stayed there all night. She kept her room dark so he couldn’t see her watching him through her back window. The light from his room cast a glow over his shadowy form, making him appear like some Gothic romance hero. One minute he stared up at the stars, then peered into his telescope, the next he paced the deck, rubbing his neck in a way that, frankly, aroused her.
At one point he looked so sad she was tempted to march outside and put her arms around him. But he was the one who told her to go away. And when she’d asked him if that was what he wanted, giving him a chance to take it back, he offered nothing, no response at all. And she’d thought there was some special kind of thing going on between them. What a joke.
Jenna murmured a couple foul phrases at him and went back to her bed, curling into a ball and crying. When she asked herself why in heck she would be crying over a guy she really didn’t know all that well, she couldn’t answer. But that seemed to be the general theme of her life these days. Questions she couldn’t answer.
Her alarm clock beeped at five. She had an early morning call on the set of Sunrise Lane today. The first episode of the new season would be airing in two days and the show’s director Tony Pacca wanted to get a few extra close-up shots and re-record some fuzzy dialogue.
When Jenna reached the mansion in Southampton where they shot most everything, she threw herself into her work.
And at Sean. She could tell he liked it. After the morning shoot, he asked her to go with him to Bridgehampton to pick up a new tennis racket.
He really was quite adorable. And so sexy. How crazy was she to be chasing after another man when her boyfriend was a guy most women would die for?
Still, Jenna kept mulling over all that had happened with Aiden yesterday. Was it her fault? She was the one who’d initiated the kiss. But he certainly hadn’t resisted her. On the contrary. The memory of his amazing mouth on hers, his hands caressing every part of her, his emerald eyes adoring her sent a warm flood of delicious memories right through her.
She glanced at Sean. A little guilt surfaced. But only a little. He was busy talking about his workout routine. Which meant he’d go on for a good ten minutes without needing or wanting a word from Jenna.
They went out to lunch in Bridgehampton. Of course, he was recognized. And although celebrities were common in the Hamptons even in winter, a little buzz went around the restaurant, followed by fans asking him for autographs and people aiming their cell cams at them.
“Does it ever bother you?” Jenna whispered to him when they were finally left alone to eat the pasta salads they’d ordered. “You know, having people always watching you?”
He shook his head. “I love it.”
“But doesn’t it get intrusive?”
“Nope. I get off on the fact that everybody wants a piece of me. And don’t tell me you don’t like it.” He stroked a finger down her forearm. “You’re an attention slut if I ever met one.”
“I am?” Maybe he was right. Jenna thought back to the way she’d always entertained her parents and siblings with her clowning antics. Or the times when she got a new haircut and had to make sure her brother Parker admired it. And her usual straight-A report card that was shown to everyone, including Mrs. Royce at the dry cleaner.
Her older sister Casey was just the opposite. Always giving someone else the spotlight. She’d even given up her hard-earned money for Jenna’s dance lessons when she was in her twenties—as well as her own dream of being a pro, claiming her younger sister had more talent. And Jenna had worked like mad to live up to everything Casey said about her, making herself the star of the family, thinking she was doing it for her big sis, never even considering she might be hogging the attention away from her.
Am I a terrible person? Was that what Aiden meant when he called her an excitement addict? She had to admit he’d nailed it. The kind of men that excited her always seemed to be larger than life dynamos. Movers and shakers
. Men who either liked the spotlight as much as she did—or had the power to put people in the spotlight. Chang had given her the biggest solo of her career, placing her front and center in the company’s most important new dance of the season. Little did he know he would be putting her under the eye of another man like himself—Sean Risk, who was using his power to put her front and center on prime time TV.
So how come she was bored in Sean’s company and was sitting here now wishing she could talk to Aiden? What a mixed-up mess I am.
Jenna carefully masked her upset, not wanting Sean to read her expression, to see she was upset and ask her about it. But then she realized he wouldn’t ask her about it, because he didn’t really care. The only things they ever talked about were careers and “the business,” or what he was buying for his new house, or how to keep your abs tight.
The realization struck her. She’d been dating Sean for about a month, and she’d revealed very little of who she really was to him. And vice versa. Beneath all his power, money and fame, what kind of man was he? Who was he really? She had no clue. In fact, she didn’t know him a whole lot better than most of his fans did. Was that what she was to him? Another fan, only on a slightly higher level?
Her answer came swiftly. She felt Sean’s hand on her thigh under the table.
He leaned toward her and murmured, “Perfect day for sex in my hot tub, don’t you think?”
She tensed, something inside her going cold.
No. She couldn’t even think of having sex with him. Not after the glorious night she’d spent with Aiden. The way he had touched her, the sweet and silly things he’d said. The explosive, mind-blowing passion between them was like nothing she’d ever experienced before.
“I, um, have to do something for my friend this afternoon. I promised her—”
“Call and tell her you’ll be late.”
“I can’t. She needs me. She had a really bad experience with her abusive husband a couple nights ago.” Jenna started telling him about what happened with Rachel, but in the middle of her story Sean turned to the waitress, who was ogling him, and signaled for the bill.