by Pryke, Helen
* * *
She came to, her head spinning. The darkness around her was absolute, and for a moment she thought she was still sleeping. Then a wave of nausea washed over her, and she groaned, her voice echoing around the room. She slowly sat up, trying to remember where she was. She’d been in the kitchen, waiting for her new friend to medicate her cuts, and then… She burst into tears.
‘Hey, don’t cry.’ His voice sounded distant, as if he were in another room, but she could sense his presence there in the room with her.
She turned towards where she thought he might be. ‘Where am I? What happened?’ Her throat hurt when she spoke, her voice sounded raspy and strange.
She jumped as he put his arm around her shoulders. She wanted to push it away, push him away, but her arms were like pieces of lead.
‘You told me how unhappy you are at home and at school, remember? I thought maybe you’d like to stay with me for a while.’ He leaned in close, stroking her hair. Long, smooth strokes, over and over again, his fingers deftly untangling the knots in her tight curls.
Now his words echoed around her head, distorted and faint, and she wondered if they were in a tunnel. Panic flooded her. ‘No! I mean, I’d like to visit, but I don’t want to worry them… my parents. I have to go home, they won’t understand… if I don’t go home.’ The words came out in a confused jumble as she tried to speak.
‘From how you described them, it doesn’t sound like they’d be that worried.’ He sounded sincere, full of concern for her. She clutched onto his words, nobody had ever talked to her like that before. ‘Actually, it sounds like they’d only be upset they’ve lost their dogsbody, the one who runs around after everyone else.’
Had she really said so much about them? She shook her head, bewildered. She couldn’t think straight.
‘You could pay them a lesson, you know,’ he continued. His voice was getting fainter as she struggled to stay awake. ‘Live here for a while, let them do their own work for a change. Lazy bastards. Especially Chloe. This is only temporary, I’ll be moving away soon to a better place. Somewhere fit for my little princess, not this dump here. You’ll have your own bedroom, and there’ll be two bathrooms.’
‘No sharing?’ she said in a dreamy voice.
‘Nope. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?’
Jane had so much she wanted to say, wanted to ask, but she was too tired. It was as if a mist had descended on her, dragging her back down into the warm embrace of sleep.
‘Just for tonight, to make them panic,’ he murmured, pushing her gently until she was lying on the mattress once more. ‘What do you think?’
She tried to fight against him, but her body wouldn’t respond. ‘I can–’ The words dried up, her tongue thick in her mouth.
‘Good girl,’ he said, patting her knee. ‘Now, go back to sleep.’
Unable to stay awake any longer, she surrendered to the darkness and drifted away, barely aware of the mattress shifting as he lay down next to her.
5
She had no idea what time it was when she next awoke. Some light filtered through a small, grimy window high up on the wall, dispersing the darkness and leaving a grey gloom in its place. Jane yawned, and tried to sit up, but her body felt heavy and awkward, her limbs refusing to move. For a moment she panicked, only calming down when she found she could turn her head from side to side. Slowly, she flexed her fingers, relieved to see them move.
As her eyes became accustomed to the light, she saw she was in a low-ceilinged room, its stone floor and walls emanating a cold chill. The musty smell was stronger here, invasive, the cloying odour filling her nostrils with the scent of damp earth and mould, and something else she’d rather not think about.
She managed to stand, her legs trembling slightly, her head throbbing, and glanced down at the mattress where she’d slept. A half-remembered image appeared in her mind, tugging at her subconscious, a shadow trying to force its way in. She had to use all her will to shut it out.
It was a dream, that’s all. She turned around.
The room was more or less empty, just a few cans of paint stacked below a wooden staircase, the mattress she’d slept on, and a crate in the corner. She limped over to it, her legs still stiff, and saw that a plate with a sandwich and a glass of water had been left on it. She reached out, her mouth dry, her lips cracking as she ran her tongue over them, then stopped. He’d given her a glass of water in the kitchen, right before she’d started to feel weird. Ignoring her thirst, she made her way over to the stairs, determined to find a way out.
The banister creaked as she gripped onto it. She slowly climbed the stairs, each step taking her closer to the door. What she would find behind it, she could only guess. Scared and confused, she half hoped he would be there, ready to take care of her as he’d promised, then thrust the thought away, angry at herself.
When she got to the top step, she reached out for the handle and turned it. The door was locked. Frustrated, she twisted it again, making it rattle. She snatched her hand away as if it burned, afraid he would come to see what she was doing. Her instincts told her to find a way out, before he returned, but she realised that would be impossible. She threw herself against the wall and hammered at it with her fists, deep sobs erupting from her throat, taking her breath away. The world spun around her and she stumbled back, teetering at the edge of the stairs.
‘What the hell are you doing?’ He threw the door open and grabbed her by the arms, making her scream. He shook her, hard. ‘Shut up. No noise, that’s the number one rule.’
‘I-I just wanted to go to the toilet,’ she sobbed. The expression on his face was terrifying, any compassion he’d had was gone. His fingers dug into her arms, hurting her.
‘Why didn’t you say?’ He released her, leaving a throbbing sensation where his fingers had been. ‘No need for all that racket.’ His voice was gentler now, though there was a hard edge underneath which hadn’t been there before. She recoiled from him, wincing as he grabbed her again. ‘Careful of the stairs, Jane. Come on, let’s get you back down there.’
‘B-but the toilet…’ she began.
‘Later,’ he said. ‘First, I need to make you understand a few rules if you’re going to stay here.’
She meekly followed him down the stairs, hoping he would be quick. She was painfully aware that her bladder was full, and she’d die of embarrassment if she wet herself in front of him. But all that paled into insignificance as she saw him remove the belt from his trousers and wrap it around his hand, leaving the buckle dangling in mid-air.
‘What are you doing?’ The image nudged at her again, more insistent this time.
‘Teaching you a lesson. You’ve disappointed me, my sweet little girl.’
Her screams were muffled by the stone walls as the belt struck her body, over and over again. She wet herself in fear, but hardly noticed through the haze of pain.
* * *
‘What about school?’ Jane mumbled. She took a sip of the hot chocolate he’d prepared and made a face.
‘What’s wrong with the chocolate?’
‘Nothing.’ She forced herself to take another sip, and smiled. ‘It’s just hot, see.’
He frowned at her. ‘What about school?’
‘I need to be there by half eight.’ Her head was pounding like she had flu, and her body ached from sleeping on the lumpy mattress, but a walk to school in the fresh air might make her feel better. She imagined coming across Melissa and her gang, and her heart faltered for a moment, then she straightened her shoulders. She could deal with anything they–
‘You’re not going to school,’ he said with a thin-lipped smile.
‘Really?’ Jane tried to keep the dismay out of her voice. She reached over for a piece of toast, then withdrew her hand, afraid she’d overstepped the mark. At his nod, she took it and began nibbling on it.
‘Yes, really. Seeing as we’re going to be moving soon, it’s pointless you go back to school. I’ll teach you, make sure yo
u keep up with your lessons.’
Jane almost choked. ‘But I have to go home, Mum and Dad will be worried. I only stayed here so they’d see how much they need me. They must be missing me by now.’ She shifted on her chair and crossed her fingers behind her back, praying he wouldn’t sense her desperation.
He ran his hand through his hair, avoiding her eyes. ‘I spoke with your mum last night. I got the number from your mobile. She…’ He hesitated. ‘Well, you know, after everything you told me about how they treat you, I was hardly surprised at her answer.’
She felt a knot forming in her stomach. ‘What do you mean?’
‘She said she didn’t care if you went back or not, and that I was welcome to have you.’
Jane sat in stunned silence as her world shattered around her. ‘Mum said that?’ she whispered. No, it couldn’t be true. Her mum would never desert her… would she? She picked up the mug of hot chocolate and sipped it, to hide the panic that was crashing over her.
He got up and stood behind her, stroking her hair. ‘I’m really sorry. She said she’d get someone more reliable in to look after Chloe, someone who wouldn’t burn the dinner or be so stroppy all the time. I tried to make her see sense, but she just thanked me for looking after you and hung up.’
Jane’s hands were trembling so much she had to put her cup of hot chocolate down. ‘She said that? They don’t want me back? They hate me,’ she said, tears coursing down her face.
He dug his hand in his pocket and gave her a tissue. ‘No, they don’t hate you. They just don’t care about you. But I do, Jane. That’s why you’re going to stay here until we move and start a new life together. You and me. What do you think? A complete break… a new life, a new family.’ He squeezed her shoulder.
She pulled back from him. ‘B-but you hit me.’ With a belt. The thought swept over her, and she pushed it away before it could take hold.
There was silence for a moment. He sat back down on his chair with a sigh and leaned forward, his hands on the table, staring deep into her eyes. ‘If you obey the rules, there’ll be no need to remind you, will there?’
She shook her head, uncertain. His face was relaxed, with no trace of the anger that had been there before. He’d let her use the bathroom, clean herself up, he’d even prepared breakfast for her. Maybe if she was careful not to upset him, he would go back to how he’d been before.
‘I’ll do my best,’ she murmured.
‘Good girl. Don’t worry, I’ll take care of you now. My little girl, back with me.’ He took a curl of her hair in his hand, and tugged it gently. ‘We’ll let it grow, then I can brush it for you and put it in two little pigtails, like I used to. Remember?’ His gaze was fixed in the distance, his fingers working the curl between them.
She shuddered inwardly. The light in his eyes and his rambling words made her uneasy. But she had nowhere else to go, even if he should let her leave. Her heart broke at the thought of her family abandoning her so easily, bewildered that they could do such a thing. Hurt and angry, she had to force herself to concentrate on what he was saying.
‘I’m going to have to lock you in the cellar while I’m at work, though.’ He looked sorrowfully at her.
‘What? No!’ Jane didn’t want to go back down to the damp, gloomy room. What if there were rats?
‘I’ve put in a light bulb, so it won’t be so dark. This isn’t a very nice area, Jane, the house has already been broken into several times. If they find you in here, alone… well, I wouldn’t like to think what they could do. You’ll be safer downstairs, and you won’t be tempted to go out for a walk by yourself.’
‘Oh, I won’t do that,’ Jane replied without thinking. ‘I won’t open the door to anyone, and I’ll call the police if someone tries to break in.’
He jumped up and grabbed hold of her wrist, twisting it cruelly. ‘Remember what I said about following my rules?’ he snapped. ‘I’m not asking you to cook my dinner or clean the house or take care of anyone, I’m just telling you to stay downstairs in the fucking cellar until I get back. Okay?’
Jane cried out in pain and he released her. She stepped back, cradling her hand, and began sobbing.
He became calm once more. ‘It’s just because you don’t know what it’s like around here, the kind of people who live in this area. Junkies, prostitutes, drug dealers… you name it, you can find it here. I’m only trying to protect you. Do as you’re told, and we’ll get along fine. Okay? I’m doing all of this for you, to give you a better life.’
Jane wiped away her tears with the back of her hand and sniffed. ‘I-I know,’ she mumbled. ‘I promise I’ll do as you say.’
He grinned and ruffled her hair. ‘That’s better. Let’s go, then.’
She allowed him to take her by the hand and lead her back along the hallway. The door to the stairs was ajar, and she suddenly felt a sense of dread come over her as they descended. She fought down the feeling of panic that threatened to overwhelm her and even managed to smile when he turned to face her.
‘See, you’ve got some light now. And there’s a bucket in the corner for… you know. And I’ve given you some books, too. I’ll be back before you know it, and I’ll bring pizza for dinner. How does that sound?’
‘Great.’ Shoulders slumped, she moved over to the mattress.
‘Good girl. See you later.’
She flinched as she heard the key turning in the lock, then sat down, trying to make sense of the situation she found herself in. She clenched her fists as she thought about her family and the way they’d just got rid of her. But her new friend was nice, she tried to convince herself. When he wasn’t angry with her. He was handsome and had a lovely smile, and a way of talking to her as if she was his equal, not someone there to do his bidding.
And when he got angry… well, that was her fault, he was only trying to help her, protect her. The image flashed into her mind of the night before, there on the mattress. She’d been groggy with sleep and he had been there too, comforting her, lying next to her, stroking her arm, her hair… She jumped up and ran to the bucket, making it just in time before she vomited. Trembling, she staggered back to the mattress and lay down, curled up in a ball.
* * *
She spent long, endless days locked up in the cellar, waiting for the sounds of him returning home; heavy footsteps overhead, the creaking floorboards on the stairs, the scraping of the cellar door as he opened it to take her upstairs and eat the meal he’d prepared. She took as long as possible over the food, anything to delay the inevitable return to the cellar.
After dinner he would take her into the cold, damp living room, where she listened to him talk, sat on the floor beside him while he played with her hair. He seemed to know so much and would talk non-stop about anything and everything, never expecting a reply from her, telling her only to listen and learn from his words.
Whenever she asked about her parents, a sad expression would come over his face as he told her that, no matter what he said to them, they didn’t want her back. She had to learn to accept it, he said, her life was with him now. So she put any thought of contacting her family from her mind; she didn’t bother asking for her mobile phone back. That was the past; now she had to concentrate on the present. But there was a deep, aching hole inside her, and she found she wouldn’t mind seeing even Chloe again.
A small voice told her that the pills he ground up and put in her glass of water every evening after dinner were bad, they made her do bad things, but she quashed the voice before it drove her crazy. He was a good man, he had saved her from her cruel, heartless family, and gave her the love and attention she craved. Those times he hit her were only because she deserved it, because she was a stupid, young girl who didn’t know any better. She would learn to accept it.
6
‘Charlotte, you will be careful at school today, won’t you?’
Charlotte sighed and waved her plastered arm at her mum. ‘We’re fourteen, Mum, not four. My friends do know how to behave!’
<
br /> ‘I know, I know. I’m allowed to worry, it’s my job.’
‘I can’t wait to see what they write on it.’ Charlotte usually hated being the centre of attention, but after being off school for two weeks following a bad fall from her bike, she was secretly looking forward to her friends fussing over her. Her knee had practically healed, she just had a large scab now instead of the huge, gaping wound.
‘Is the wounded soldier going back to school today?’ Mike, her older brother by one year, strolled into the kitchen, rubbing his eyes and yawning. Charlotte grinned at the sight of his hair sticking up in all directions.
‘Michael!’ her mum exclaimed. ‘Why aren’t you ready yet? Come on, we’ve got to leave in ten minutes.’
‘Relax, Mum, we’ve got loads of time.’ He leaned over and grabbed a slice of toast off Charlotte’s plate.
She slapped his hand. ‘No, we haven’t. Mum wants to leave early this morning, remember? So I don’t get knocked over in the stampede at the gates.’
‘I’m glad the school year’s almost over, at least I won’t have you two winding me up every morning.’ Her mum picked up Charlotte’s schoolbag and started rifling through it.
‘Mum!’
‘I’m just checking, making sure you’ve got all your books. Did you put your homework in?’
‘Yes.’ Charlotte reached over and took the schoolbag out of her mum’s hands. ‘Everything’s under control. Go and get ready, we’ll wait in the car for you. Right, Mikey?’
Her brother grunted a reply and disappeared upstairs.
‘Thanks. I’m sorry I fuss too much. But ever since that girl at school disappeared…’ Her mum had a stricken look on her face, and Charlotte knew she was imagining if it had been her or Mike.