by Lucy Dawson
As soon as she’s gone, I turn urgently back to my mother. ‘Can you put the dress and the shoes in the overnight bag that’s under the bed?’
‘But darling…’
‘There’s still a chance I might be able to get to this wedding. He’s worked so hard, you know he has! I have to at least be able to try!’
She looks at me doubtfully, but then hurries to the dress. As she’s carefully folding it, I stand and reach for my bag, still hidden behind the chair. Mum is so distracted, she doesn’t even notice as I slip the letter into the overnight bag, before putting the shoes in on top of it. Mum gently lays the dress over them, like a metallic shroud, then looks around for the bracelet box while I pull on my shirt.
Alice reappears with a loaded toothbrush. ‘Thanks.’ I start to clean my teeth just as we hear Imogen call from downstairs: ‘They’re here!’
My heart thumps as I take the brush out and pass it back to Alice. I can’t believe I’m about to lie to paramedics. This is so wrong – what if someone else needs this ambulance and because it’s here with me, something dreadful happens? I sink down onto the bed again and start to do my shirt buttons up just as two middle-aged men dressed in dark green walk in, one of them clutching some sort of case.
‘Hello there,’ one of them says, walking up to me. ‘What’s your name?’
‘Sophie Gardener,’ I say, and he smiles at me.
‘Hello, Sophie. I’m Frank – and this is Steve.’ His colleague nods from the doorway. ‘What’s happened to you, then?’
‘I, er, hit my head this morning.’ I lift my hair. ‘I’m not sure there’s much to see, though.’
Frank inspects it impassively. ‘What did you hit it on?’
‘A massage table.’ I feel ridiculous saying that.
‘Did you pass out before you hit it, or because you hit it?’
‘Um, because I hit it, I think?’ I look at him worriedly, unable to remember suddenly, I’ve got so much flying around my brain.
‘She was out for no more than a few seconds,’ says Mum, ‘but she fainted again just now, before we phoned 999. Literally just fell to the floor.’
‘OK,’ says Frank, turning back to me. ‘How are you feeling at the moment? Does your head hurt?’
I nod, truthfully. ‘I’ve still got a headache.’
‘How long have you had that?’
‘Since this morning.’ Which is also true, but then, I’ve had a few things to deal with.
‘I’m just going to check your eyes and ears, OK, Sophie?’ He opens his case. ‘Are you on any medication at the moment?’
‘No.’
‘No allergies or anything?’
‘None,’ I confirm, as he shines a light in my eyes.
‘Except cats. She gets sneezy around them,’ cuts in Mum anxiously.
Frank nods kindly. ‘Thank you. But nothing like this has ever happened to you before?’
‘No.’
‘No tingling in your fingers or pains in your arms?’
‘No.’
‘And you’ve no medical history of any problems? No surgery or conditions?’
‘No.’ I can’t lie about that. ‘I was sick just now, though,’ I add, slightly desperately.
‘Sophie is due to go to her fortieth birthday party in about an hour, which she’s very anxious to attend, and we’re concerned she’s deliberately downplaying how she’s really feeling,’ Alice says. ‘She told us earlier that she had a very stiff neck, and she was slurring a little after she fainted.’
Well done, Al. I feel relieved.
‘We wanted her to see someone this morning when the accident happened, but she refused. She’s been quite confused at times, and behaving erratically. She’s been very irritable, too, which isn’t like her at all.’
All right. I frown at her. Let’s not go crazy.
‘No alcohol, anything like that?’ asks Frank.
‘No,’ I say. ‘Half a glass of champagne at lunchtime, but that’s it.’
‘She was drunk last night, though,’ chips in Mum.
‘Look, I had a beauty treatment today, which I think dehydrated me,’ I explain. ‘I stood up quite quickly, and that’s when I fell. I couldn’t put my arms out because I was trussed up in cling film.’
To give him credit, Frank’s face remains impassive. ‘OK, Sophie. Well, I think we’ll take you into hospital, get them to check you over, all right? Can you stand up for me, and we’ll go down to the ambulance? Who’s coming with you?’
‘Mum, please,’ I say quickly.
‘Don’t you need to immobilize her head?’ says Mum, picking up the bag.
‘I’m confident we’re not dealing with a spinal injury here,’ says Frank. ‘I think you’re probably concussed, Sophie, but because you’ve passed out twice, I’d like the A&E team to check you over.’
‘Shouldn’t we phone Marc?’ says Alice pointedly. ‘He ought to know what’s happening.’
‘No, please don’t ring him.’ I put a firm hand on her arm, and understandably she gapes at me, spluttering, ‘But he’s going to want to come to the hospital with you, Sophie!’ before giving me a furious ‘And I thought that was the whole bloody point?’ look.
‘Given the circumstances,’ I say slowly, ‘he’s going to panic, especially as he’s got Isabelle and Olivier with him. They don’t know anyone else at the party, there’s no one he can leave them with. Could both of you go to Goldhurst Park and tell Marc in person?’ I look between my sisters. ‘Then one of you can stay and look after Isabelle and Olivier – maybe you, Gen, they know you best – and Alice, you could drive Marc to the hospital. She can drive your car, can’t she?’ I turn to Imogen.
‘Um, yeah, I suppose so,’ Imogen says slowly, and looks at Mum, adding carefully, ‘What makes you think the children are coming, though?’
I flounder around for a moment, before managing: ‘I heard them talking in the background while I was on the phone to Marc earlier. Don’t worry, I haven’t said anything. Whoa!’
Frank reaches out to help me as I wobble to my feet and ushers me towards the door. I ignore Alice glaring at me mutinously and, thankfully, she stays silent.
As we make our way out into the street, I can already see a few curtains twitching curiously. I glance up and down the road. No white transits.
‘We’ll see you at the hospital, then,’ Alice snaps, as Mum struggles to climb into the back of the ambulance in her long dress. Steve and Frank help her in.
‘Up on the bed,’ Steve says cheerfully, strapping me onto the trolley.
‘You’ve got my bag, haven’t you?’ I ask Mum anxiously. ‘Shit! My keys!’
‘I picked them up while you were putting your trainers on. Everything is right here.’ She reaches for my hand. ‘It’s going to be fine, don’t worry.’
I try to smile at my sisters, still watching as Steve makes sure I’m secure. ‘I’m so sorry about all of this.’ I look beseechingly at Alice.
She sighs. ‘Don’t be stupid. I’ll see you there with Marc in a bit,’ she says, as Steve starts to close the doors on her and Imogen’s frightened faces.
‘Right, ladies.’ Frank turns to Mum and me. ‘I need to warn you, these aren’t the comfiest of vehicles.’
I look at Mum, perched on the edge of her seat, one hand clasping the bag handles tightly, the other holding me. I’ve never seen her so pale. She wobbles as the ambulance pulls away. ‘I’ve got you.’ I try to smile.
I feel so guilty for doing this to her. I hate you, Claudine.
‘I should be saying that to you,’ she says faintly. ‘I’m the mum.’
‘I really am sorry for this.’
‘Don’t be ridiculous!’ Dismissing me, she turns to Frank. ‘Sophie is actually supposed to be getting married in an hour and a half. Her fiancé has arranged it all as a surprise. Obviously she knows about it, but that’s why she’s so anxious not to be going to hospital.’
Frank looks taken aback. ‘Riiight…’
‘B
ut you can’t be too careful, can you, Frank?’ Mum looks at me.
‘Not with head injuries, no,’ he says, without hesitation. ‘I’m sure they’ll be happy to let you go after they’ve given you a once-over, but we always have to consider the risk of bleeding inside the skull, or bruising to the brain, which can have very serious implications.’
‘By serious, do you mean fatal?’ Mum looks horrified.
‘It’s because Sophie’s passed out twice and vomited – that’s why we need to check it out.’
‘Well, then.’ Mum turns shakily back to me. ‘You see? Marc will understand. Everyone will understand. Don’t give it a second thought.’
‘I’m going to be OK, Mum,’ I say quickly. She looks so frightened. I start to feel sick again, though, and have to concentrate on not throwing up. I think it’s travelling backwards that’s doing it. I close my eyes briefly and try to concentrate on my breathing.
‘Sophie,’ says Frank sharply, ‘we’re nearly there. I need you to stay awake, OK? Not long now…’
I know, Frank, that’s what I’m afraid of.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
I’m wheeled from an ambulance on a stretcher bed straight into A&E, where the busy staff move calmly around me, taking me straight into a small, curtained-off bay. I wonder how they can’t see the big neon sign above my head that reads, ‘FRAUD!’ I should not have done this. This was very, very wrong.
But as the triage nurse assesses me, she doesn’t say anything like, ‘Hmmm. Something’s not right here. Are you making all of this up?’ She simply tells me a doctor will be along shortly, and do we need anything else?
‘We’re fine. Thank you. There, that’s good, isn’t it?’ Mum turns to me weakly, once the nurse has disappeared and pulled the curtain back around us. ‘I must say, I’m very impressed with how quickly they’ve seen you. Not that I think we should read anything into that,’ she adds hastily. ‘You wait, it’ll be hours before a doctor arrives now.’
Her phone starts ringing in her bag. ‘Oh, blast!’ She panics and starts to fumble for it. ‘I forgot, you can’t have mobiles on in hospitals, can you?’ I’ve not seen her so flustered in a very long time.
‘I think it’s OK these days,’ I say, ‘although you probably want to put it on silent after this call.’
She nods and looks at the screen. ‘Oh, it’s Alice. Hello, darling!’ she booms, and I close my eyes briefly with embarrassment, before pleading, ‘Don’t shout!’ in deference to the people on either side of us. It doesn’t make any difference, though, as she’s not looking at me, and she has her finger in the ear her phone isn’t clamped to. ‘Yes! We’re at the hospital! What’s that? Oh, of course! Here she is.’ She holds the phone out to me. ‘Marc wants a word.’
Alice has arrived with him already? What? It can’t even be seven o’clock yet! I reach for the phone. ‘Hello?’
‘Hey!’ Marc sounds calm, but with tight worry in his voice. He’s also walking somewhere fast; I can hear his footsteps. ‘We’re on our way, Soph. Just leaving the hotel now. We’ll be there just as soon as we can.’
So they’ll be here in half an hour? That’s too early!
‘How are you feeling?’ he asks.
‘I’m OK,’ I manage, trying to think of a way to delay them further. ‘I’ve not been sick any more, or passed out again, so that’s good. I’m sure this is nothing to worry about.’
‘Alice said you hit your head on the massage table, of all things?’ He gives a nervous laugh.
‘I know,’ I mumble. ‘What a prat, eh?’
‘She also said only the massage girl saw you fall and she’s being vague about it – probably terrified we’re going to sue her,’ he says. ‘Make sure you tell them everything, Sophie. It could make a big difference to how they assess you, and what tests they give you, if they know exactly what happened to your head. Promise me?’
‘OK,’ I say warily. I don’t want him doing his lawyer bit and worrying away at things. My story is not going to stand up to close scrutiny. ‘I’m really sorry about having to drag you away from the party before it’s even begun.’
‘That’s not important,’ he says anxiously. ‘The main thing is that you’re all right and you’re not hurt. You must—’
But I miss the rest of what he says because the curtain is pulled back and a doctor appears. Already? My eyes widen and I glance at Mum worriedly. That really is ridiculously fast.
‘I have to go, Marc. They want to speak to me. Please tell Alice to drive safely and don’t rush. I’m not going anywhere.’ God is going to strike me down for such lies.
‘Will do. I love you, Sophie,’ he says, adding slightly desperately, ‘I’ll sort everything out when I get there, OK?’
‘I love you too.’ I hang up. He sounds completely overwhelmed, which, given what he’s about to walk out on at the hotel, is understandable.
I look up at the doctor, waiting patiently for me, and I’m struck once again by the utter lunacy of what I’m doing. ‘Sorry about that.’
‘No problem,’ she says. ‘I’m Dr Forrester. I understand you’ve had an altercation with a massage table.’ She speaks drily, reminding me a bit of Alice – they’re probably about the same age. I like her instantly.
‘Yes. I fainted, fell and hit my head.’
‘Do you remember falling?’
‘Um, I’m not actually sure. When I came round, the beautician said she thought I might have banged my forehead.’
‘OK. I’m just going to check your eyes, Sophie – can you look straight at me? Thank you… How have you been feeling since the accident? Nice hair and outfit, by the way.’ She nods and grins at Mum. ‘Do you both always make such an effort for trips to A&E?’
I give a faint smile. ‘It’s my fortieth birthday today. We’re meant to be on our way to my party right now.’
‘Oh, I’m sorry to hear that,’ she says instantly.
‘Thanks. In answer to your question, I feel fine, apart from a headache that I can’t shift, and I’ve been sick once.’
‘She passed out again this evening,’ Mum says helpfully. ‘She had slightly slurred speech, too.’
Dr Forrester’s eyebrows flicker slightly. I don’t miss it. ‘Can you sit up, Sophie? I’m just going to check your pulse and breathing… OK, good… An ambulance brought you in, did it?’
‘Yes,’ I say quietly.
‘Can you do this?’ She brings out her index finger in front of her, as if she’s pointing into space. I copy her. ‘Great. Now, place your finger on your nose.’
I do as I’m told.
‘And can you put your finger on mine?’ She starts to move her finger around slowly, as if tracing an imaginary figure of eight in the air.
‘I feel like ET,’ I mumble, feeling a little awkward as I touch her.
She smiles. ‘OK, now push on my hand with yours, as hard as you can… Good. Let’s just do your reflexes… Well done. Now, can I ask you to stand up and walk over to me? Sorry, it’s a crazy small space in this bay – have you got enough room?’
I get up a little stiffly, and in three steps I’m there.
‘Thanks, Sophie. You can sit down again on the bed now.’ She gives me a considered look for a moment. ‘Much as I want to just let you go to your birthday do, I think we ought to do a CT scan.’
‘The paramedic already told us bumps to the head can be fatal,’ blurts Mum.
‘He didn’t say that at all. Dr Forrester is just being thorough,’ I say quickly.
Mum ignores me and looks pleadingly at the doctor.
‘The skull is essentially a closed box, so if there is any swelling within or pressure on the brain, we’d need to address it,’ she says. ‘But your daughter is right – I’m erring on the side of caution.’
‘Is that what makes it so dangerous?’ Mum persists. ‘Because if that pressure or swelling isn’t alleviated, the brain stops working properly?’
Dr Forrester hesitates before answering. ‘Yes.’
‘O
h my God.’ Mum is horrified. ‘I should never have let them book that bloody girl to do that treatment. This is all my fault!’
‘Mum!’ It’s almost frightening seeing Mum so uncharacteristically in freefall, and my resulting guilt makes me snap at her. ‘Stop it! Of course it isn’t your fault. I got up and fell over, that’s all. I’m going to be fine.’
She swallows and I realize she’s fighting back tears. This is awful.
The doctor looks between us sympathetically. ‘We’ll get everything organized and then someone will be back to get you in due course. I’ll ask them to bring you a gown, too, Sophie.’
‘Thank you.’ As she vanishes, I turn to Mum again. ‘See? “In due course.” I’m hardly being rushed down there right now, am I? They wouldn’t be delaying anything if they were really worried.’
‘But you’re not going to get married!’ Mum says miserably. ‘Everyone is going to be arriving now!’
What on earth is she going to do when I disappear off in a minute? I can’t leave her here on her own like this… But I have no choice. I have to go to the hotel – that’s non-negotiable, for all our sakes. I reach out to take her hand again. ‘Don’t, Mum,’ I plead. ‘None of this is your fault, OK? What time is it now?’ I tense, dreading her answer.
‘I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, you’re right. I need to calm down.’ She looks at her watch. She’s actually trembling – Christ. ‘Coming up to quarter past seven.’
A cold wash of fear surges over me. I have to go.
‘I suppose when Marc gets here, we could call the registrar and see if they can be persuaded to stay on a little longer?’ Mum clears her throat. I can tell she’s trying to get herself under control. ‘They can’t exactly have any other weddings to do this late in the evening, can they? Imogen is there already, and Alice can drive back to help her. They can explain everything to the guests, if need be. It might just be a question of everything happening a few hours later. And maybe don’t let on to Marc when he gets here that you know about the wedding, just in case.’
‘I promise, I won’t.’
‘Good. I think I might just pop to the loo.’ She gets unsteadily to her feet. ‘Will you be all right? Maybe I ought to tell a nurse so you’re not on your own?’