Annie continued packing the large trunk, which she’d bought at a second-hand store. She wanted to make sure that there was enough room for the lace tablecloth and the good set of dishes. As she worked, and listened to the boys’ laughter, she remembered playing the same games with her brothers. It didn’t seem so long ago. She wondered how her children would react to this huge change in their lives. Of course, they’d miss their grandparents. She had to blink away tears thinking of living so far away from her mother. She knew Canada would give the boys more opportunities than they had here. They didn’t even know their family was poor; everyone they knew was in a similar circumstance. She chuckled to herself, recalling a neighbour who often cooked fat at dinnertime to make the rest of the street think they were eating meat. No one was fooled.
Jim had laboured for long hours and little pay in South Shields. He still worked hard in Canada, but at least now he chose when and where to work. He was well paid, he told her, and had the luxury of accepting or refusing a job. Best of all, he had fulfilled their dream of owning a place of their own.
She scolded herself for daydreaming. She moved to the kitchen, which was filled with mouth-watering odours; she had decided to make their last dinner in South Shields a special one and had made the boys’ favourite foods.
She removed a roasted chicken from the oven. Gravy simmered on the stove and a large pot of mashed potatoes sat on the counter. There was a freshly baked loaf of bread on the table. The boys cheered when they came in and spotted a chocolate cake on the shelf. They were noisy with chatter while they ate, excited about their adventures to come.
Before Annie could take a bite of her own meal, she heard a timid hello and a knock. She opened the door to a wizened, painfully thin woman, dressed in several layers of tattered clothing. The children were suddenly silent; they stopped eating and stared at the strange visitor.
“Do ye have anythin’ to spare afore ye sail to the new country? I’d be grateful for anythin’, good lady.”
Annie felt pity for the poor old woman. “The house is all but empty now, but I can give you an old pot you can keep and I’ll fill it with a good meal that will hold you over for a bit.”
The crone bowed and mumbled, “Thank ye. Thank ye, kind lady. I wish you many blessings.”
Annie retrieved her oldest and smallest pot from her trunk and filled it with the remains of the roast chicken. She scooped potatoes and carrots from her own plate to top it off. As she handed over the pot of food, the old woman snatched Annie’s hand in a papery, claw-like grip. Annie tried to pull away but the woman held her fast. The ancient woman then leaned in to whisper to Annie so the children wouldn’t hear.
“Brave lass, ye’ll conquer water, fire, disease and death. Sky lights will give ye comfort. God bless.”
She dropped Annie’s hand, thanked her once again for the food and shuffled down the lane. Annie closed the door and sat down at the table, puzzled by the odd message. It sent a shiver up her back. She picked up her fork, and said, “Well, that certainly was strange. Eat up boys. It’ll be early to bed tonight. We’ll be up before the sun tomorrow.”
Annie tucked her younger sons into bed and told Bobby she was going out for a bit of air. She put on her warm boots and coat and walked briskly to the church. She breathed in the familiar coastal air and clutched her coat at her neck to keep out the chill, wondering if she would miss the rich salty scent of the sea.
She continued past the church to the cemetery. The iron-gate squeaked in protest as she opened it. Her feet imprinted the frost-covered grass as she crunched her way past rows of stones. Some grave markers looked elaborate but most were frugally plain; a few tombstones were so old that only rough indentations were visible where the letters and dates had eroded over the years. She located the tiny cross engraved with Maggie’s name. Kneeling on the frozen ground, she gently touched the grass over her daughter’s grave and the familiar pain of loss coursed through her. As tears spilled down her cheeks, she said her farewells to her little girl. She didn’t know if she would ever see this place again.
She was annoyed to hear footsteps approaching; she had hoped to spend these last moments with Maggie alone. But looking up, she saw the familiar shape of her mother walking slowly towards her. She hesitated when she saw Annie, and then smiled.
“Ah, I’m sorry love,” she said. “I should have known you would be here tonight. I come here every evening to say good night to Maggie.”
Annie wiped away her tears and said, “I didn’t know that.”
“You’ll think me a daft old woman, but I often dream of your Pappa holding Maggie in his arms. She is always singing and laughing. It gives me a lot of peace.”
Annie remembered how that same image had pulled her back from her own private hell after Maggie died. She had never spoken of it to anyone. The hairs stood up on the back of her neck.
“Oh Mother,” she cried, “I may never come back here, and feel like I’m abandoning Maggie.”
“Don’t worry about this little plot, pet,” said Mother, reaching her arms towards Annie. “I’ll continue to visit every night for as long as I am able.” Annie leaned into her mother’s warm embrace. “I’ll see you off tomorrow morning, Annie.”
She tried to compose herself on the walk home, but as she came in the door, the worried expression on Bobby’s face told her she hadn’t succeeded.
“It’s okay,” she said. “I’ve just been to see Maggie. I’m a bit sad, that’s all.”
“Will we be all right, Ma,” he asked, “in Canada?”
“Oh, yes, Bobby, I have no doubts.” She patted his arm.
“Good night, Ma,” he said, and pecked her on the cheek. “I’m off to bed.”
“Good night, son. Sleep well.”
Her thoughts went back to the old woman’s ominous message. “Brave lass, ye’ll conquer water, fire, disease and death. Sky lights will give ye comfort.” Likely the poor old granny was daft. Of course I’m crossing water. Wouldn’t Jim and Alfie tease me if I believed such nonsense?
Chapter Ten
A gust of frigid January wind blew in from the coast in the early morning hours of their moving day. Frosty fingers of cold air crept under the door and into the kitchen. Shivering, Annie used her few remaining bits of coal to light a fire in the stove before waking the children. They had a hot breakfast of porridge and tea, and she washed the dishes one last time before packing them away in the trunk.
She heard a horse clop over the cobblestones and stop outside her doorway. Opening the door, she saw Alfie, Mother, and Jim’s parents climb down from a horse-drawn wagon. Her boys squeezed past her with squeals of excitement.
Alfie and Charles came inside to haul her heavy trunk out the door and hoist it onto the wagon. Neighbours peeked curiously out windows of dreary brick buildings or came out to the street to gawk. Annie’s boys were loud and boisterous as they helped load the rest of their baggage, but she didn’t scold them. She gazed wistfully down the familiar street. The adjoining streets were dark and quiet. She thought of the large, destitute families living in just one room in many of these houses, and silently wished them good luck and goodbye. Annie sighed with both relief and regret.
She went back inside to take one last look at their rooms, closed and locked the door, and then tearfully gave Mary, Jane and Charles one more hug goodbye. “I’ll write often and I’ll have the boys write as well,” she promised, and she climbed aboard to sit beside Alfie.
Before she knew it, she was waving from the cart and she, Alfie and the boys were on their way to the railway station. Annie continued to wave until they turned a corner and Mother, Jane and Charles were out of her sight. She looked up at Alfie.
“This makes me realize how much easier it is being the one leaving than the one left behind,” she said. “Do you remember how it felt, the many times Pappa left us for a sea voyage?” Alfie nodded. “And it was so difficult to say goodbye to Jim. I didn’t know when I’d see him again.”
�
�Well, you’ll see him in less than two weeks now. Tomorrow you’ll get to test whether you have proper Norwegian sea legs or not!”
I’ll be with Jim in two weeks! Annie could hardly believe they owned their own land and house, thanks to Jim’s hard work and perseverance. She could only hope that fate would be kind and allow them never to be separated again.
Chapter Eleven
Annie gazed out the train window and watched the landscape outside whip by at a furious pace. It was her first rail excursion. Travelling at such speed gave her a pang of fear and, inexplicably, a tingle of excitement. The children were unusually quiet on the trip to Glasgow. She imagined that they felt the same trepidation and thrill that she was feeling. Their eyes were huge and their mouths agape as they stared out the windows. Annie rested her head affectionately on Alfie’s shoulder.
A smartly dressed, elderly woman stopped in the aisle beside their seats, and remarked in a Glaswegian accent, “Whit well-behaved wee jimmies. Ye must be sae proud o’ yer sons, sir.”
Georgie piped up, “Oh, he’s not my Da!”
The scandalized woman muttered to herself and huffed off. Annie bubbled over with laughter, giggling until she had hiccups. Georgie looked bewildered.
Alfie gathered the little boy to his lap. “Aw, Georgie,” he said in a loud whisper, “don’t you worry one little bit. Women can be a little peculiar sometimes.”
Annie laughed, and muttered to her brother, “Peculiar, is it? I’d say that’s the pot calling the kettle black!” She gave Georgie a reassuring pat. She was enjoying her first experience of train travel and was surprised at how quickly the time had passed.
When they arrived at the Glasgow station, Alfie found a buggy for hire which would take them to the port, and the men loaded Annie’s trunk while she settled the children on the bench seat of the cab. The driver clicked at the horse and shook the reins. Annie hung on to the seat as they jerked ahead. She spotted a multitude of ship masts in the distance, standing at attention like soldiers. Cold, briny breezes blew in from the harbour.
“There’s our hotel over there.”
Annie peered in the direction Alfie was pointing and saw a long three-story sooty-grey building. She had never stayed in a hotel before. “I feel as if I’m one of the gentry, travelling by rail and staying in a hotel. I’m as excited as the children.”
“Well, don’t make your expectations too lofty,” said her brother. “The hotel is not first class, and by the time you get to New Ontario, you may well be sick of train travel.”
Alfie had reserved two rooms at the hotel. He shared a room with Bobby, and Annie was with her two younger boys. She unlocked the door and peeked curiously into her room. Jack and Georgie squeezed past her to goggle at their night’s lodgings. The space was sparsely furnished with two narrow beds and one small dresser. There was a detectable musty odour and the floor was grimy, but the bed sheets appeared to be freshly laundered. The boys were tired from the day’s excitement and fell asleep soon after she tucked them into their bed.
Annie stayed up a little longer gazing out the dusty window. Grey buildings were crammed together and she couldn’t see a single tree anywhere. She looked over the horizon and her eyes welled up with tears. She was torn between grief over leaving her mother, and joy at the prospect of seeing Jim again. She thought again of little Maggie and turned to gaze at her sleeping children. She tiptoed over to straighten the blanket and gave each boy a kiss.
“Sleep tight. We’re going to see your Da soon.”
Finally she lay down in her own bed and closed her eyes.
The next morning they carried their bags to the dock and identified Annie’s large trunk, which would be placed in storage on the ship until they arrived in Canada. There was a strong fishy odour in the cold, salt-filled air, and a brisk winter wind blew in from the sea.
Alfie explained that their actual embarkation on the Cassandra should be quick because they were British subjects and were travelling to British territory. But there was a lot of pushing and shoving until a man in uniform took charge and bellowed out an order to line up.
Annie heard many different languages and even recognized some Norwegian. She tugged anxiously at her children’s sleeves and cautioned them, “Stay close to each other. It’s too easy to get lost in this crowd.” She was thankful that her brother was a head taller than most people on the dock so she could keep him in sight.
While waiting their turn to board, Annie scrutinized the Cassandra. The steel-hulled ship was about five hundred feet long and had two masts and a large white horizontal stripe, painted along the funnel. The company flag, with vertical red, white and blue stripes, flapped in the brisk wind. There was a large blue letter “D” on the flag, for the owners, the Donaldson Brothers. She knew from a pamphlet she had read that they would be among nine hundred steerage passengers.
The Cassandra was gently rocking as they approached the gangway. Just as Annie was about to step onto the platform, Georgie burst into tears.
“Come along, Georgie. We’re holding people up. What’s the matter?” People pushed and shoved around them.
“I’m too scared, Mummy!” he sputtered. “We’ll go under the water, like my toy boat at the seashore.”
Annie picked up her youngest boy. “This is a real boat, son, not like your toy. We’ll be perfectly safe.” I hope! She couldn’t deny that the whole endeavor seemed implausible for a ship of its size.
Georgie wiped away his tears. “But Mummy, what makes the ship float?”
Annie paused to consider how to explain flotation to a four-year-old, but then Georgie asked, “Could it be buoyancy?”
Annie laughed. “Yes, my clever little boy, it is buoyancy.”
Once on the ship, she was confused by the veritable maze inside. She was so concerned about keeping her children beside her that she lost sight of her brother. He would be sharing accommodation with three other unmarried men, while she and her boys had their own sleeping quarters. Reading the nametag of one of the crew members and realizing he was Welsh, she greeted him in his mother tongue. The man beamed with pleasure and offered to carry her bags.
He led Annie and the children to their steerage cabin, assuring her that they were better off than the second-class passengers, as they would be much more comfortable down there when they hit rough seas. Annie groaned inwardly, and tried not to think about nasty weather.
Not knowing what to expect, she was pleasantly surprised with their enclosed cabin. There were four beds, one bed over another, against two walls. Each bed had a mattress, pillow, two clean sheets and a blanket. There was a water basin for washing, a jug of cold sea water and four towels on hooks. Just as she was wondering where her brother had disappeared to, Alfie knocked on the door jamb.
“Ah, I found you!” he said. “Come on. Let’s go up to the promenade deck and watch as the ship pulls out.”
They slowly climbed the crowded stairs and found a spot near the railing at the stern of the boat. Annie tearfully gazed at the shoreline, while the ship gracefully sailed away from the harbour. She felt her throat constrict as they moved further out to sea. Alfie looked at her with concern and put his arm around her, and together they watched the disappearing shore.
Just then a brass band on the deck above began to play a lively, happy tune. The music instantly lifted Annie’s spirits. After taking one last look at the country she was leaving behind, and agreeing to meet Alfie in the dining saloon in an hour, she guided her boys back down to their quarters.
She set out in search of the lavatory, but when she located it a last, there was a long queue of passengers waiting their turn. Finally, after a long delay, with the boys pushing and poking at each other the whole time, it was their turn. Inside, there were private stalls with china commodes, and these flushed with seawater. There were four basins with hot and cold salt water on tap and a jug of fresh water for rinsing. She soon discovered the reason for the jug of extra water; as hard as she tried, soap would not lather in th
e salt water. Annie was impressed with how clean everything was.
The dining room was spacious and well-lit with wall sconces, and it ran the width of the ship. Looking around the crowded room, Annie spotted Alfie. He was saving chairs for them at one of the long tables.
“Oh, Alfie, it’s just grand,” she told him. “Our cabin is wonderful and the boys are excited to have beds all to themselves. Even the lavatories are splendid.”
Alfie smiled at his sister’s exuberance and then guided her and the children to the buffet. Their first dinner on the ship was another delight. The tables groaned with the weight of barley broth, beef and oyster pies, boiled cabbage, baked, fried and mashed potatoes and fruit, cheese or rice pudding for dessert.
Stuffed after a huge dinner and double desserts, the boys ran off to explore the dining room. There were other children in steerage and they quickly made new friends. Annie and Alfie played cards while the boys were occupied. At eight o’clock, Annie stood up to find her sons.
When she located them across the room, she overheard Jack boasting to a much bigger boy, “My Uncle Alfie is a pirate so you better watch out!” The older child scoffed at Jack’s threat, but his eyes widened when Alfie walked over, and he saw the hook where Alfie’s hand had been. The boy howled and ran back to his family. Annie stifled her smile before scolding Jack about telling fibs.
When she told her brother what Jack had said, Alfie laughed. “Well, that’s always an option if I can’t find work in Canada.”
Chapter Twelve
Annie tossed and turned that first night. As she envisioned the ship ploughing through the ocean waves, she could hear the water slapping against its sides. The throb of the engines finally lulled her to sleep.
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