by Al K. Line
Frowning, I checked, and sure enough I pulled out the book. "Motherfucker."
"You have it?"
"Yeah, that bastard slipped it in."
"Don't move, we'll be there in a few minutes."
"Wait, how do you know where I am?" Ivan hung up. I knew how he'd know. The bloody technological age. It was why I kept my sim and phone separate if I remembered, but I kept forgetting. You could track anything, and phones were easy, especially if you had enough cash to buy all the gear necessary to trace them. Vicky had explained it all, and thank God she had, otherwise I'd have been about as easy to find as a giraffe in the city center. Maybe I should go back to carrying coins and using phone booths? But then I worried I'd miss a call if George was in trouble, so instead just made a mental note to be extra careful about when I used it.
Still frowning at the book, and with my phone in the other hand, I almost dropped them both as a black sedan screeched around the corner and sped toward me.
The car skidded to a halt and I shouted, "That was quick," right before someone started shooting at me.
Just When You Think You're Out
"These bastards always suck me back in," I muttered as I ducked behind a tree. Pulpy flesh exploded where my head was a moment ago, and I shuffled sideways and sucked in my belly, apologizing to the tree that was fast becoming toothpicks. Keeping behind the trunk, I pocketed the phone, begrudgingly put the book away somewhere safe, and pulled out my wand.
Sigils flared, almost as angry as I was, and magic crackled, sending a familiar vibration running up my arm. Ah, so sweet, this magic I'd fought so hard to call my own. Well, they picked the wrong day, and the wrong pissed off wizard, to pull this crap on. I just wanted some peace, I wanted some cake. I wanted some love.
With naughty images of a naked Candy and plenty of chocolate cake distracting me, I smiled, then felt nervous, not about the guys with guns, but about asking Candy if she'd like me to lick cake off her... Ugh, what was wrong with me? Terrified of asking for a date, just annoyed about dudes shooting at me. Something definitely skewy there. Still, the image lingered, and it gave me hope.
"Sorry about that, Arthur, my men got a little carried away." It was Carmichael, the snake.
"Yeah, well, don't let it happen again. You tricked me, that's not nice." I risked a glance into the street and saw Carmichael standing beside the car, two goons with guns aimed at me. What was with them? This was a residential street, Cerberus didn't usually act like this. Carmichael really wanted this fucking book.
"Hand it over, then we'll go. You've got about a minute before Aurelius arrives, so now would be a good time."
"Fuck you, and fuck your Hounds. What, you okay with bullets flying while citizens are sleeping? You woke them up, you fucktards. Gonna carry on shooting?" Haha, I had them right where I wanted them now.
In answer, a single shot was fired. Then another, then another. All the street lights were out. But already light was spilling out onto the large front lawns as people woke up and pulled back the curtains.
"I want it. You don't understand."
"Tough. It's Mikalus' now, take it up with him."
"I warned you."
Guns blazed in suburbia. I sucked my belly in further and decided there was only one thing for it. I let rip, fired a Hat special at the dark shadows of the Hounds and Carmichael. Which is all well and good when you can aim properly, but I kind of fired off the wand by reaching out my hand and hoping it was pointing in the right direction. Magic flared, blinding light lit up the street, and then an almighty explosion set off car alarms and smashed windows.
I peeked and said, "Oops," as I got a face full of heat. I'd only gone and blown up the car. Something moved, and I watched Carmichael get to his feet and brush himself down. The two Hounds were either dead or unconscious.
"That was rather extreme," noted Carmichael, as he advanced, tweed suit singed and smoking, but acting like he didn't have a care in the world. The air shimmered around him as though he were protected with a magical forcefield, silver sparks darting off.
"I'm stressed," I said. For some reason, I didn't try to blast him to bits, just watched as he walked toward me as the car burned, more curtains were opened, and the sound of sirens grew closer.
Carmichael stopped several feet away and held out his hand. "Give it to me. Last warning."
I smiled, heard the noise behind as the car came to a halt, and said, "Not this time."
Another screech of tires, another series of doors opening. More footsteps, and more unwanted company. Although, maybe this would finally be over.
"Ivan sent us," said one of two very large goons that took a place either side of me.
"Good. He didn't come himself?"
"He's the boss," said the other.
"Course he is. Wouldn't want to ruin his suit."
Carmichael stared from me to the goons and back again. He raised a perfect eyebrow and said, "Let's not make this difficult. Please, hand it over."
"Fuck you."
"What was that? What's happening," screamed a goon as blackness descended and feathers floated wildly on the drafts caused by the fire.
"Chill out. Don't get freaked." I warned. But it was too late. The goons, not ones accustomed to much of the supernatural, glanced around nervously and waved very large guns this way and that. I knew it wouldn't do any good, but there was no stopping them.
They fired off into the shadowy shape that eddied around us, too fast for the eye to follow. I noted with interest that Carmichael was already retreating down the road.
"Oh no you don't," I shouted, and I ran after him as the goons began to scream.
I turned in time to witness Aurelius manifest with all the drama he had last time, great raven wings spreading wide as his naked perfection confused and scared the goons. The worse they got, the more solid he became, and then they screamed in earnest as the life seemed to drain out of them. Aurelius advanced, he spread his wings wider, then engulfed them in an instant. Then he was up and away, soaring above them as his body became ephemeral. They dropped down, terrified looks frozen on their faces, and very, very dead.
Note to self. Don't freak out in front of angels, they'll suck you dry.
Carmichael was still hightailing it so I chased after him, following the sound of his hand-crafted leather shoes tapping against asphalt that had been free of damage until we showed up.
Then he did something pretty fucking cool. He pulled a round object the size of a lacrosse ball from his pocket, except it was way too shiny for that sport or any other, and then a starless rectangle opened up in front of him. He ran headlong at it and disappeared.
As the oblong shrank, I launched, sailed through the air, and dove right through into the emptiness just as it closed behind me.
Strange
Pain, a very familiar pain, detonated as I felt my existence torn away then reassembled piece by piece. Ah, the joys of going through portals. I was used to it, but when you aren't geared up for such a trip it still comes as one hell of a shock. At least it was quick, although a fraction of a second of excruciating agony as you are disassembled then rebuilt atom by atom in a timeless nothingness can feel like a lifetime, trust me on that.
I was still diving when I emerged on the other side, so I tucked my head in, rolled forward, and took a glancing blow off something solid. Momentum carried me forward and I only stopped when I smashed into a wall of books. I pushed back, ready to do something nasty, but stopped as something caught my eye. Fascinated, surprised, and excited simultaneously, I turned my head sideways to better read the spine. Impressed, I glanced in every direction, taking it all in. Many books had no titles, most didn't in fact, and I had wits enough to ensure I kept my hands well away from them as the magical emanations tried to suck me forward.
Even forcibly trying to control them, my hands moved of their own accord and I reached out, only just taking a step back in time before I was pulling rare magical books from the shelves as their incessant w
hispers clawed at my mind and acted like a drug.
"Hands off if you don't mind."
Back to reality, I spun and found Carmichael replacing a lamp I must have knocked off an antique side table.
"Huh?" was all I managed, my mind not quite caught up with what was happening.
"Don't touch. Lots of nasty things in there. You get used to it, and they calm down once they know you aren't going to just open them without putting up protection. Now, would you mind leaving? Oh, and the book please? Now isn't the time, or the place, to play around, Arthur."
Carmichael turned serious, almost angry, and he held out his hand.
"No chance."
"Do you knew where you are? Who you are dealing with?"
"No, and no. And I don't care. You used me, then your guys shot at me. You risked citizens."
"A mistake, one for which the men have already paid, thanks to you. I was in a hurry, and they were the only Hounds close by."
"Excuses, excuses. And what the fuck was that? You opened a portal. How?"
"Obvious. I summoned it. Used something only a few of us can use." Carmichael fidgeted in his pocket with his other hand. The artifact he'd used.
"Wouldn't mind one of those myself."
"Shame you don't have one then." Carmichael thrust his free hand further forward, and I almost wavered, almost gave it to him just to be done with the whole thing. This damn book was like a loyal puppy, following me everywhere I went. But I wouldn't be done with this mess, even if I gave the book to Carmichael, would I? Mikalus had paid, it was his. But I have to say I was tempted.
"You're such a hypocrite, same as all the others before you. You don't want anyone else to have any artifacts, want to control magic, but you are happy using them yourself, playing with toys if you want to. So full of shit."
"There's a monumental difference between using something powerful with proper respect, and owning something you shouldn't own and risking untold damage. You know that."
"Spare me. We've had this conversation before and I still think you're all a bunch of control freaks. You want to own us, you want to control everything. You don't get to decide who's worthy. You sure as shit aren't."
I studied the room best I could whilst still keeping an eye on Carmichael. His office, I assumed. There was a desk, oak with green leather insert, walls and walls of priceless books, a number of interesting bits and pieces, some of which were artifacts, others merely rare objects, all to do with magic, and filing cabinets, paintings, antiques, all the trappings of a rich man working for a powerful, super-secret organization. It made me want to throw up. It was all very plush, very nice, very exactly where you'd expect a posh secret agent to while away the hours between hobnobbing with politicians and planning how to rule the world because he felt he had the right.
"We at Cerberus HQ again?"
"How did you guess? Such powers of observation you have."
"Haha, very funny. Now, if you're finished blathering, I'll be leaving."
"You, my troublesome friend, are going nowhere."
"Wanna bet?"
And with that, I blasted the shit out of his wall of priceless books. Okay, I was selective, and okay, it was an illusion, no harm done, but he didn't know that. As a wall of fire erupted, although there was no heat, Carmichael panicked, just for a few seconds, and as he recoiled in horror, what little color there was draining from his face, which made me incredibly happy, I changed up the magic. This time it was real, and deadly.
I blasted him hard. He was fast, and had protection, but it still sent him flailing. The small object he had in his hand went rolling across the oak floor and stopped as it hit a thick rug. I lunged for it.
Carmichael was fast though, and he landed on my back, taking the wind out of me. I jabbed out with an elbow, felt ribs, and did it again, harder. Then I rolled sideways, slammed down into his stomach, and as he gasped for air and his face turned puce I scrambled for this precious artifact he was so keen to hold on to and grabbed it tight. It was cool, but obviously incredibly powerful, something dangerous yet rare and pure at the same time.
Carmichael grabbed me by the ankle as I moved to stand, and I slammed down onto his expensive rug. I kicked out, managed to boot him in the face, and smiled as I heard cartilage crunch. Then, without looking back at him, I jumped up, opened the door, and ran away.
That'd teach him. It was just a shame I was running away in Cerberus HQ, which was becoming a nasty habit and one I definitely had to break.
Yes!
I sprinted down a flag-stoned corridor, with cut stone walls, a red carpet runner softening my footsteps. I was definitely in Cerberus HQ, I recognized the style of build and the plush, understated decor. There was a timelessness to this place, like it had been a seat of power for centuries. Inherited wealth and civic duty, political machinations, and a sense of righteousness practically oozed from the very fabric of the building. I hated it.
Ignoring the funny looks, knowing it was only a short matter of time before I got gooned again, I checked out what I was holding.
"No fucking way."
It was a Teleron, fabled ultra-artifact. I hadn't believed they existed, had heard of them the same as all wizards, but never seen one. This was, like, utterly awesome. I thought about all the stories I'd heard, about how this was basically a shortcut through the Nolands, using the forces contained within that dimension to draw magic and take you instantly from one place to the next. You just had to focus, and focus clearly, and there you were, like stepping through the Nolands without actually going through it. If that makes sense?
What we had here was an incredibly powerful, finely crafted, upmarket, definitely more compact version of my gates. You weren't restricted to one entry and exit point, you could use it anywhere, go anywhere you knew intimately. The way I'd heard it worked was that you had to have a very clear image in your mind of where you wanted to go, somewhere familiar. Otherwise, and here was the catch, you'd kind of end up as mush. It might not give you the freedom to appear anywhere in the world, but it sure beat getting a taxi.
So, without further ado, I twisted the brass ring around the center of the small steel ball, closed my eyes, thought real hard, then opened them. An infinitely deep, colorless rectangle appeared several paces ahead, so, still running, and without pausing to worry about this going wrong, as if it did I would be chatting with Death in the next second, I dove right through.
Are You Kidding?
I rolled, came to a halt on my feet, and brushed myself down. I turned, only to find myself staring down the barrel of a gun. Excited and hyped, I grinned.
"Arthur!"
"Thought I'd find you here," I said, relieved when Ivan lowered the gun.
"How did you do that?" he asked, wide-eyed but relaxing when he realized I was alone.
"Aha, wizardly secrets." I pocketed the Teleron, definitely not something to advertise. I could just imagine the look on Carmichael's face, and unless he happened to have another one stashed away he was gonna have to come visit me the long way round. That would take hours. No wonder these guys managed to arrive so quickly, right when you didn't want them to.
"How did you know I was here?" he asked, slumping into his chair.
"I knew you'd want something familiar, something real. Something more seedy. We're from this world, not that one," I said, looking around his spartan office, a room I'd been in on many occasions, stared at enough times, for it to be familiar.
"It does feel more natural. I'll have to move away from the apartment. I feel like an impostor there. Mikalus won't like it, but he'll understand."
"Well, good for you. Look, that's all great and all, but can we please, pretty please, with sugar on top, finish this bloody deal?"
"Absolutely. Mikalus was furious when we noticed the switch. He said you'd have the book, that Carmichael, that snake, wouldn't want it until he was ready."
"Because that box he had with him was broken? It was to mask the book, wasn't it?"
&nb
sp; "Yes."
"Right, to business. And this time, nothing better go wrong." I dropped the book on the table, and then, saying nothing, not caring if Ivan had a way to get it to Mikalus or not, I turned and I bloody well left him to it.
Without incident, I walked away, and kept on walking, until I finally felt free of the whole sordid business. But something kept nagging at me, as though there was unfinished business, and try as I might, I couldn't shake the feeling that this was far from over. It was a familiar feeling, as these things seldom had a satisfactory conclusion. There were always more loose ends and nothing was ever done and dusted. Still, I lived in hope.
I must have walked for ten minutes before I heard the boom. I glanced back, only to see a huge fire raging in the distance. No prizes for guessing where it was coming from. I turned my back on it, and I kept on walking.
This wasn't my problem, it was Ivan's. If Aurelius was there, which he obviously was, then this was down to Ivan and his guys, not me. I'd played my part, done more than I had to. Had delivered the book several times now, so it wasn't my fault if they couldn't keep hold of the damn thing.
Time for The Hat to go home and toss and turn in his bed, another job done, if not exactly well. They were all grown men, they could sort it out amongst themselves.
I stopped, turned back to face the fire, and swore. "I better get a fucking bonus." Then I ran back toward what I was certain would be more of the same old bullshit.
No Respite
It was, to say the least, carnage.
The factory was ablaze, an inferno that raged and had already caught the smaller buildings, the piles of crap everywhere, the old conveyor belts and anything else even slightly flammable.
The night was fierce with heat and fire, but I saw nobody.