I stripped out of my filthy clothes and got right into the hot running shower. The dirt started to flow towards the drain and I just stood there, letting it happen. So many things were going through my mind and I didn’t know how I would fix what I’ve done. It was harder when I couldn’t prove myself without a battle and since there was no war, it was unlikely that would happen.
I looked down at my chest as I rinsed the soap off and looked at the spots of ink still left under my skin. It caused me to sigh heavily and shut the water off. I grabbed a towel as I got out and just put it around my waist, not bothering to dry off.
I went right over to the sinks and tried not thinking about it while I prepared my face to be shaved but my eyes couldn’t help but flicker down in the mirror every few seconds to see the mark of my honor almost faded away. It made concentrating on something else hard but I had to get it done.
Once I was finished shaving and started to look more like myself, my eyes once again were set down on my chest. I knew what I had to do now. The King wanted the mark completely removed and I would have to cut up the remaining slivers of ink so it would vanish when it heals.
I walked out into Zayden’s room and Adele was eating off her breakfast tray that was sitting on the bed with Zayden and Rift both next to her.
“Hey.” They said casually.
“Hey. Can I borrow this?”
I picked up a dagger from Zayden’s stuff and he gave me a funny look, probably wondering why but didn’t ask. “Ah, I guess.”
“Thanks.”
I walked back into the bathhouse with it and was ready to finish my time here.
“What are you doing?”
Zayden walked in behind me with Adele just as I used the dagger to cut myself deep over the remaining ink and wiped the blood that began to roll down my chest. “The King was going to have someone remove the rest of this but I told him I’d do it myself.”
“You mean your father.” Adele said.
“I’ll call him what I want. He didn’t seem to mind.”
“Well, let me help you. I can make it easier.”
“No!” My voice jumped her a little bit and I saw the look on her face through the mirror. “I’m sorry. I have to do it my way. It’s self-punishment.”
“Oh, okay. So—I guess that means you’re not going to let Jaylyn heal you either, huh?”
“Right.”
“She’s not going to like that.”
“She doesn’t have to. She doesn’t even know yet. She was asleep when I went in to see her.”
“Hey, where the fuck is Troy?” Darius called from a distance.
“In here.” Zayden said.
“Hey. Are you going to make a habit of leaving this behind?”
I glanced up in the mirror and saw my sword in his hand. “What are you trying to do, get me into even more trouble? Get that thing away from me.”
“What are you talking about?” Zayden looked at him and shook his head. “Is someone going to tell me?”
Adele looked over at me and knew I didn’t want to hear talk of it while I continued to cut into myself and she took Darius’s arm, leading him out into the room. It didn’t help; I could still hear. “He’s not one of you anymore.”
“What does that mean?”
“Father took away his title.” Zayden said.
“What?!”
“Shh!”
“Try not to make a big deal out of it.” Adele said.
“But it is a big deal. We can’t be great without Troy!”
I smiled.
“He may get it back sometime.” Zayden said. “He just has to figure out how. Now, take that sword back. He’s not allowed to have it.”
He must have left because it got quiet and Adele came back in just as I was ready to wrap it. “How long do you think you’ll be able to hide that from Jaylyn?”
“Probably all of two seconds. She’ll be able to tell.”
“Maybe you should get some sleep with her now.” Zayden said.
“Yeah. I will.”
“Don’t worry about this.”
“Why worry?” I walked passed them, leaving the bathhouse. “It’s already over.”
It was true and I didn’t need to stay around for their sympathy. I went to my room and Jaylyn was still sleeping. I put clean clothes on, including a shirt to cover my wounds and got into bed with her but I didn’t lay there long before she woke with a gasp.
“What?”
“Are you okay? I feel something wrong.”
“I’m fine.”
“Are you sure?” Jaylyn rolled to me and put her hand on the bandages on my chest. “What is that?”
“It’s nothing.”
“Let me see.”
She tried to lift up my shirt but I stopped her. “Jaylyn, really. It’s nothing.”
“Just let me see it!” I sighed and let her continued. “What happened to you?”
“I had to.”
“What? The mark? I thought Adele was going to fix it for you.”
I didn’t like to have to do this again but with her it was different. I took her hand off me and held it in mine. “Jaylyn, that’s not me anymore.”
“What’s not?”
“I had to remove what’s left of the mark because I am no longer a Great Seni Fighter.”
“What?! But why?”
“It wasn’t my choice but it was my fault. Everything that happened to me was my fault and I must be punished for it.”
“Oh, Troy. That’s awful. Let me heal it for you.”
“No! I have to endure this. It’s part of it.”
“It shouldn’t be.”
“Jaylyn, please. You cannot heal it. Say you won’t.”
“I—I—I don’t like this.”
“I know you don’t but I have to do this.”
I hoped she would at least try to understand and did after looking in my eyes. “Okay. I won’t.”
“Come here.” I held my arm out to her and she came closer, laying her head on my right shoulder away from my wounds. “Rest. I need to get some too.”
“Okay.”
“I love you.”
Jaylyn snuggled her head up against me and I knew she tried to keep from crying by her voice. “I love you too and I’m glad you’re home.”
“Yeah. It’s great to be back.”
Chapter 16
Zayden
A week has passed and Troy spent a lot of his time to himself. Jaylyn was getting worried for him as we all were. It was bad enough for her that she couldn’t help him with his chest wounds but it became worse because she realized there was nothing she could do to change the way he felt about the result of his mistake. He was on his own and never once joined us for the daily meals. He stayed completely away from any conversation involving him and it was lucky, he happened to always be the main topic.
It was dinnertime once again and we were all gathered in the dining hall but Troy and there was a long silence. This time, no one seemed to want to mention anything about him and even Jaylyn seemed to keep her worry to herself.
The doors opened and Troy walked in. This was a change and we found ourselves looking around at each other to wonder but still wasn’t quite sure what was happening.
“Good to see you.” My father said, breaking the silence.
“You knew about this?” Troy didn’t seem happy while he was holding a few papers in his hand.
My father wiped his mouth with his napkin and placed it on the table. “Troy, listen.”
“No.” Troy walked stiffly and confidently to him with his anger clear. “You knew this whole time and said nothing. Why? Don’t think I could take it?”
“It’s not—”
“Like I’m some kind of child?”
My father slammed his hand on the table and rose to his feet. “This is not the place for it to be discussed.”
“Then lead the way because it will be discussed.”
My father started walking towards the doors
and Troy followed without looking at any of us, not even his own wife. We were all curious about this.
“What was that?” Ruby asked.
“Probably something about reinstating his title and honor.” I said.
“It sounded bad.” Jaylyn said nervously. “Is it bad?”
Darius laughed to her quickness to worry. “We don’t know. They’re talking about it now.”
“Can I ask you something?” Adele said.
“Of course, Love.”
“What exactly did he do to deserve this? I know it’s something we haven’t discussed. Was it that bad?”
I looked over at Darius and was a bit surprised myself that this was the first time it had come up but I answered her. “He dishonored a direct order and in so doing, he could have gotten us all killed. We were just lucky that the bandits didn’t decide to take all of us. They could only managed to take him because he was the only one outside at the time.”
“So, I’m guessing it was an order from you, Zayden.” Ruby said.
“Yes.”
“But how could someone jump Troy? He has great hearing and really fast reflexes.”
Darius flickered his eyes towards Jaylyn. “He was distracted and didn’t know they were there until it was too late.”
“Wait, why did you look at me?”
“He was distracted because he was watching you while you slept.” I said.
She gasped. “What?”
“I specifically warned him not to do that, especially while he was supposed to be on watch but he just couldn’t help himself.”
“This is all my fault.” Jaylyn got up from the table and started heading to the door.
“Jaylyn! Wait!” Adele shouted. She was clearly worried about what she was going to do and we all went after her.
We rushed out into the main hall and Troy and my father were coming out of the conference room.
“Then we’ll start at dawn.”
“I’ll be ready, your majesty.”
“There is honor to be found in strength and I’ll pray that you find yours.”
Troy bowed his head and walked to the stairs.
Jaylyn looked back at us behind her and started to follow Troy but we followed my father back into the conference room.
“Father, what’s going on?”
He picked up and old box and pulled out a large iron key that was hanging on a chain. “Want to know? Follow me.”
He walked through us with the key and we really did want to know. We turned after him and followed him through the halls of the palace. Not a word was said as we walked and my father had led us all the way out to the private arena and down into the penitentiary underground.
Everyone was looking a little worried but we stayed quiet about it until my father led us farther in to where I’ve never been. We were walking down a long hall with a single large steel door at the other end.
“What is this place?” I asked.
My father didn’t answer. He held the large key in his hand and placed it inside the lock. A loud crack echoed as he turned it and dust fell from the seams of the door as it was pushed open.
It was obviously very old and the hinges creaked loudly. My father took a torch from the outside of the door and stepped in to the dark room with it. He tossed it into a pool of oil to his right and the room lit up with several others placed around it. We stepped inside and my eyes got wide. It was filled with instruments of torture, chains on the walls and a stone slab in the middle with restraints of its own at each corner.
“Father. No. This is what you knew about?”
“I didn’t want it to come to this, Zayden because I love that boy but he’s just too smart for his own good. He did his own research and he wishes to have his discipline be nothing less of anyone else with his mistakes and wants it done by the books. He knows the risks and has accepted them.”
“You can’t be serious.” Adele said. “You allowed this?”
“One will always do what they can to redeem their honor. I would know. In the thousands of years this room was built, that door has only been open ten times. Out of those ten times, only one ever walked out of here alive.”
“You.” Darius figured. “But what if he doesn’t?”
“He has accepted that as well. You must not question it or you question his place. He wants it back whether he lives to get it or not.”
I was mad about this and still couldn’t figure out why he would have agreed at all. “Well, who’d you hire to do it then?”
“I won’t be hiring anyone. I’ll be overseeing it but you’ll be the one doing it.”
I backed up. “What?! Me?! No way!”
“But it has to be. You were his leader and the one he disobeyed. He won’t fight it. He’s not a prisoner. It was his choice.”
“You’ll go easy on him, won’t you Zayden?” Ruby asked with that same worried tone we were missing from Jaylyn.
“Yeah, by not doing it at all. I’m not going to have his death on me.”
My father actually laughed like this was all just some joke. “You know what he’s capable of living through and will take it no further. You will do it. Troy is able to make it out of this room on his feet and you will be sure that he does.”
“Father, what you’re asking me to do—I can’t.”
“He already knows it’s going to be you. You’ll be fine.”
This was worse than the plain punishment alone. I couldn’t be the one to do this. It wasn’t right.
“It’s okay.” Adele placed her hand on my back to try and give me some kind of comfort. “All you have to do is keep him alive.”
“She’s right.” My father said. “Steady hand. Hold the force. You should also keep in mind that Jaylyn will not be able to heal him until his wounds bring him no more pain. It’s the process he must go through if he truly wishes to accomplish what he needs to.”
“And who’s going to tell her that?” Ruby asked.
“He will.”
I sighed. “Father, I can’t do this.”
“You have to.”
“But I don’t know what I’m doing. It’s not like I’ve had to do it before. We don’t keep survivors.”
“But it has to be you. We’ve discussed it.”
I sighed again and started pacing. I did not like the idea of this at all. Troy was like a brother to me; he was my brother. I couldn’t bring him that kind of pain. My thoughts halted on the word brother and I had an idea. “Okay but I can’t do it alone. I want to guarantee that he’ll survive. In order to do that, I need someone who’s experienced in this.”
“Ryon.” Adele muttered.
“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” My father asked. “I thought we just got rid of him.”
I almost hated how he hated him so much. I didn’t feel any kind of hate for Ryon anymore. He was my brother and I knew he could help; I knew that he’d want to. “It is if that means Troy will truly stay alive. He doesn’t have to do anything, just tell me what to do.”
“Are you sure he’ll agree and not misinform you?”
“He would never hurt Jaylyn that way or me. Trust me.”
“Very well then. Then call to him.”
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath through my nose while thinking of needing him again.
A breeze filled the narrow hall and Ryon stood in front of the steel door but remained in his transparent form. “Who says death is peaceful?”
“I’m sorry.” I said. “But we need your help again.”
“Wow! Red! Look at you! How long has that been there?!”
He had his eyes down on her belly and she put her hands on it while narrowing her eyes towards him. “You already know.”
“I know. I was just kidding. So? What’d you do this time? I thought the whole Troy thing was fixed?”
“It was until now.” Darius said.
Ryon looked around at everyone’s eyes and I think he was reading our thoughts because he sounded like he figured it out on
his own. “That’s nice. There’s something wrong with you people.”
“You think we want this?” I asked. “Well, we don’t. That’s why you’re here. I’ve never had to do this before but you have. We just need to get him through it alive so he feels he accomplished something.”
“Please.” Adele begged.
Ryon rolled his eyes and sighed. “Fine. I’m in but he can’t know that I was involved.”
“Why?” Ruby asked.
“Because he’ll know that it was planned for him to survive, not that he did it on his own. I can easily just be a voice inside your head.”
“Okay. That’s a better plan.” I said.
“When?”
“Tomorrow morning. Early.”
Ryon paused for a moment and started to pace while he brought his hands to his head. “Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Early. Early. Early. Okay. I think I’ll be free then.”
“You’ll make yourself be.” My father demanded. I was glad he wanted Troy to survive as much as we did. “And don’t be late.”
Chapter 17
Jaylyn
“Troy? Are you all right?”
“Yes. I’m okay.”
“I have a bad feeling.” I came up behind him and put my hand on his bare shoulder.
He reached over and took it as he turned with this voice I didn’t like hearing. It was like he knew something was going to happen. “Jaylyn, I’m going to need you to be strong for me.”
My eyes started to water with worry. “Why? What’s going to happen?”
“I’m going to be tested in the morning and—and there’s a chance that I may not make it through it.”
“What?! Troy! No!”
“It’s all right. I have to do this. I need to get back what I lost.”
“But what about what I might lose? I almost did once. I can’t take that again.”
“Even if that happens, you will never lose me. I will stay with you.”
“That wouldn’t be acceptable to me, Troy. You wouldn’t be able to grow old with me.”
“You mean, you won’t like it if you had someone young forever that always wanted and loved you?”
“This isn’t the time for joking.” I moved away from him and became serious about my worry. “You can’t do this. There has to be another way.”
New Roots (Fate's Intent Book 8) Page 6