by Adria Wade
“Are you okay?” he asked.
I looked up at him once more, and as our eyes met, I felt the surge of excitement in the pit of my stomach. He was breathtaking. I immediately, though it was beyond my comprehension, felt a sense of comfort with him, and I knew that in the arms of this stranger I was safe. His presence took away the fear and panic in an instant.
I nodded. I was okay at the moment, but I knew that once he left and I was in the dark, surrounded in the quiet the night brought, what just happened would affect me even more so then, than now. I would be all alone with no comfort and no distraction to keep my mind from replaying the terrible events of tonight. And strangely, as his eyes narrowed, I had a feeling he knew I was lying to him. He must have seen the vulnerability and fear that I thought I had hidden.
Oh no! I covered my mouth as the bile made its way up. Vomit spilled out of my mouth and into my hand as I pushed past him and ran into my bathroom. The taste of margaritas and beer invaded my mouth as I threw up its remains into the bathroom sink. By the time I was finished, the heavy smoky eye that I had going was running down my cheeks, and my complexion was so much paler than my usual pale self. I rinsed my face.
“Paige.”
I looked up into the mirror, finding the guy who just saved me standing behind me with his arm out and a towel in his hand.
I turned to face him, taking the towel from his hand and wiping my face. He knew my name. I never told him my name.
“You know my name.”
He reached in the back pocket of his jeans and took out a picture of me. “Your brother made sure I knew what you looked like. He’s looking for you and he is pissed. I’m Eli, Eli Mitchell, by the way.”
I groaned. “Great; you’re friends with Taylor.”
As I sucked on my bottom lip, the taste of blood came rushing into my mouth.
His eyes immediately dropped to my lips. Something dark had crossed his eyes as they dilated. He swallowed then turned to grab the towel hanging on the wrought iron towel wall rack then came toward me.
“Is that a bad thing?”
“It is at the moment.”
When our eyes locked, they never left each other. The attraction was evident. With his body so close to mine, heat warmed my cheeks as I breathed in his scent.
“Your eyes are nice. I’ve never seen anyone with orange contacts before.”
I noticed his body tensed as he looked down for a brief moment, suddenly nervous. What for, I had no clue.
“Thanks.”
He squeezed his eyes shut as he let out a slow, shaky breath.
“Are you okay?”
He nodded. His hand settled on the back of my head as he held the towel to my lip. We stood in silence as he applied pressure to my lips, our eyes finding each other every few seconds. Looking at him was a temptation I couldn’t resist. I took a liking to him the moment I saw him.
“Paige!”
I winced as I heard him yell. Taylor was coming and I just couldn’t face him right now. I gasped and grabbed Eli by the wrist in panic. “I can’t-” I stopped mid-sentence and looked away, trying to keep myself together. I couldn’t let him see the amount of emotion that was hidden underneath. Andie and my family were the only ones who got that privilege. Well, my family not so much anymore. I was better off keeping it to myself. It was my burden. My pain.
Taylor was fast approaching with a death glare and a lot of drama I was in no state of mind to deal with.
Eli quickly turned and placed his hand on Taylor’s chest, stopping him from coming any closer. “Dude, now isn’t the time to lay into her. She almost got raped,” he whispered, but not low enough because I heard every word.
All of the color drained on Taylor’s face as he gaped at Eli. “No.”
Taylor spun around and began kicking Preston, even though he was already knocked unconscious. He didn’t care. He was absolutely furious.
“You son of a bitch!” He growled.
Eli grabbed his arm. “Dude!”
Taylor pushed him away and went back to kicking him. He was an absolute mad man.
Eli grabbed Taylor once more, this time using all of his force to drag Taylor away from Preston. “Stop. I already took care of it.”
I heard Eli gasp then whisper something to Taylor that I couldn’t make out this time. Taylor, now nervous, kept his head down and wouldn’t by any means look my way. Curious as to what was wrong, I walked to the doorway of my bathroom. What in the hell was going on with them?
“I have to go,” Taylor said as he quickly left the room.
Despite my curiosity, I didn’t go after him. I was too busy struggling to keep myself together to care what was wrong. The pain was growing, and I wanted so much to end it, but I couldn’t. Aware of the amount of emotion I was unable to hide, I kept my head down as my eyes filled with unshed tears.
“Paige,” Eli said.
I couldn’t talk. I was so consumed with sorrow that I couldn’t get a word out. My voice had left me.
He took my hand in his. “Are you okay? I don’t think you should be alone right now.”
With much hesitance, I looked up. I could see the worry in his eyes, and I knew it was because I let him see how upset and panicked I was.
I shook my head and stormed past him as tears fell from my eyes. I grabbed my flask filled with fireball and opened my bedroom window.
“Hey!”
I had an urge to turn around and go to him as he called after me, but fought against it. I was already halfway out of my bedroom window as I climbed on the roof, using the white colored ladder to get down.
“Where are you going?!” he yelled from the window.
I didn’t answer him. I just kept walking until I reached the trampoline that Taylor and I had since we were kids and laid down on it. I gazed up at the clear night sky as the moon and stars shined their light down on me. It was so beautiful.
I wiped the tears from my face and brought the flask to my lips, letting the fireball fill my mouth. It tasted of cinnamon and burned all the way down to my stomach. I loved that feeling. I tried not to think about what just happened. Instead, I focused on the sky because the scenery was the only distraction keeping me from going insane.
Try to forget, Paige. Please try to forget.
“Hey.” There was an edge to Eli’s voice as he approached me with a look of uncertainty on his face. He must have been unsure about whether or not to follow me just in case I wanted to be left alone. Little did he know that being alone was my worst enemy.
“Do you ever look up at the night sky and just feel at peace? Like you’re completely absorbed in serenity from the mesmerizing beauty of it?”
“It can be quite breathtaking at times. Is this your escape?”
He climbed on the trampoline and laid beside me. The heat from his body seeped into my pores, warming my insides. He was so close…I liked that.
I snorted at the thought of my mind ever being at peace. “Unfortunately, nothing is my escape. I don’t get that kind of luxury.”
I was surprised by my ability to open up to him. When someone tried to get too close to me and asked personal questions, I totally shut down and refused to let them in. There were certain things from my past that I couldn’t avoid telling them, and I hated having to walk down memory lane when all they would do was judge me for what I had done, anyway. It was a waste of time. Unlike everyone else, it was easy to open up to him, and before I could even think about stopping myself, the words came flowing right out of me.
“Life is what you make of it,” he said.
“When there is darkness, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel…at least, that’s what my therapist used to say. Fireball?” I held out the flask for him to take.
He held my gaze for a moment before grabbing the flask and taking a drink. “I love cinnamon.”
“Me, too, especially in my coffee.”
I closed my eyes and sighed. When was the painful feeling of dread going to leave me for
good?
“You look pretty tired. I think you need sleep; not alcohol. You’re already slurring your words.”
“I can’t sleep. There’s no distraction. I just need everything to be okay.”
“Everything will be okay.” His voice carried so much certainty in his words; certainty that I wished I had.
“No.” I shook my head as my warm tears coated my face.
“Paige, look at me.”
I wouldn’t. I couldn’t. I was in tears in front of someone I barely knew yet felt so incredibly safe with, and I hated that I let myself look so weak and vulnerable to him.
He cupped my chin and forced me to look at him. “I’m not familiar with your past. All I know is that you were involved in some messed up shit. But I say, regardless of your choices, you are human and you are going to make mistakes. You’re hurting. I can see that. You’ve let what happened in the past and even now take hold of you, and you can’t let that happen. If you don’t let yourself break free, you will always drown in your pain.”
He made total sense, but it was easier said than done. My scars ran deep; so deep that I was afraid I would never be able to overcome the pain that I had come to know so well.
“How could you possibly understand what I’m going through?”
He stared at me, his face darkening with sorrow. He looked away and gazed up at the sky.
“I’ve been through plenty of hardships, but the one I almost didn’t recover from was losing my sister Alyssa.”
My brows knitted together as I placed my hand over his, feeling sympathy for him. “I’m sorry…Could I ask what happened?”
His eyes widened slightly, tearing his gaze away from the sky as they settled on me. He seemed tense, maybe even nervous all of a sudden. He had that same reaction a lot. I wonder why.
“Are you okay?
“Uh, yeah, she was…murdered.”
My breath hitched and my lips parted as I suffered from the shock of his news.
“That’s terrible.” I really didn’t know what to say or even how to console him, so I hoped my hand gave at least some of the comfort he needed.
He was opening himself up to me, giving me a glimpse of the part of his life that he had to fight to overcome. Even though our stories had different circumstances, it helped that he at least felt the pain I had to live with every day of my life.
“I see me in you…well, the Eli that was a total train wreck before. I saw that lost look in your eyes that I had carried myself at one point.”
Just as he spoke those words, reality came punching me in the gut as I realized that he was getting too close. He was beginning to figure me out, or worse, already did. I didn’t want to let him in. Everyone that I once was close to somehow always got hurt. I had to go.
I sat up and climbed off the trampoline.
“Are you leaving me again?” he asked.
“I have to go to bed.” I have to get away from you. You make me feel and say things that I would rather not feel and say.
“Wait.”
He grabbed my wrist, forcing me to turn around and face him. “I have a feeling about you, Paige Jacobs.”
“I hope it’s a good feeling.”
He smiled and nodded as his eyes shined with no judgement, as if he could care less about what I did, and it felt so good to have someone actually see me; not my bad reputation.
I smiled, feeling my heart betray me once more as my stomach fluttered. “Goodnight, Eli.”
When I got back to my room, Preston was gone with just a small puddle of blood on the floor to show that he had been there. Eli must have removed him from my room. Thank God. I couldn’t handle seeing his face.
As minutes ticked by, the comfort I felt in Eli’s presence was fading, turning cold, and I was left with nothing but the darkness closing in on the light from the sunshine he gave to me.
I let out a breath and frowned. The gloomy feeling was coming back stronger than ever. I turned off my bedroom light and climbed in bed. I wanted to fall asleep and forget about Preston, but I was alone in total sereneness, giving my mind free reign to wander back. My mind was spinning with memories of his unwanted touch, the beer on his breath, his hand down there, invading my body.
Suffering in sorrow, I burst into tears. It was deep, hard, and endless. Seconds, the longest seconds I have ever had to live, minutes, then an hour went by and I was still weeping with no sign of it letting up. I felt so violated.
My door suddenly clicked open, and the light from the hallway shined through my room as Taylor peaked his head in.
“Chelsea and I are coming in. I hope it’s okay.”
I didn’t say anything. I didn’t need to, because I knew he would stay with me even if I refused his company. I closed my eyes once more and sniffled.
As darkness fell over me once more, I felt them climb on the bed, and as Chelsea lay beside me, her hard, pregnant stomach pressed against my back and her hand rested on my arm while Taylor lay in front of me.
“Are you okay?” Chelsea asked.
I couldn’t find my voice. I was too wrapped up in my sorrow to get the words out.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t here,” Taylor said.
“Okay,” I choked out.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Chelsea asked.
“No…I just want to forget.”
The door clicked open once more, and Andie stood in the doorway, uncertain if she should come inside.
“Paige.” Her voice was soft, almost soothing as she called out to me.
“Come on in, Andie. It’s a slumber party tonight,” Taylor said.
She came in, and climbed on the bed and lay her head on my legs.
No one said anything after that, and for that, I was relieved. I didn’t want to talk. Just like with Tessa, I knew that I wouldn’t ever get over tonight. I would bury it deep within, where it would forever stay an open wound. The damage was done.
Chapter Three
The light from the bright morning sun shining through my bedroom windows was enough to make a nun swear. I sat up, wincing and holding my pounding head. I had a serious hangover, and I had every intention of getting up and closing my drapes, but quickly stopped when I saw my dad sitting in my vanity chair by the end of the bed. I sat there unmoving, afraid to even move as his tired, angry eyes never left mine. He still had his work clothes on. The top three buttons were undone as his black and blue striped tie hung loosely around his neck.
“My house is destroyed.”
I ran my hand through my unkempt hair. “It’s fixable, though.”
I was leaning more toward humor, but the tone of my voice made it sound like I was serious and didn’t give two shits. I did. I hated seeing the disappointment in his eyes.
He shrugged. “I’m not so sure you deserve your present.”
He leaned forward, picking up a square box wrapped in purple colored wrapping paper. “A welcome home present. It’s not like I have a choice, though. It did cost a pretty penny so there better be some use to it.” He sat it on the bed.
I groaned on the inside. I was such an ass. He bought me a present and I destroyed his house. Way to go, Paige.
His eyes closed briefly as he exhaled. “Random teenagers undergarments floating around in my pool—the thong that was clogging up the filter. Broken windows, a broken banister, throw up everywhere. Oh, and you’re going to love this one: a naked couple passed out in my bed. My bed; not yours, Paige, but mine. And to top it all off, you almost got raped. Not the kind of bullshit I want to have to deal with after having a very tiring day at work.”
“Serious conversations aren’t exactly my thing in the morning.”
He huffed. “Paige!”
I winced. “Dad, please don’t shout. My head is killing me. I feel really bad that you bought me a present and I messed up the house, okay? But I can’t go back and change it.”
His brows rose as the corners of his mouth turned up into a small smile. “Oh, currently hung over, are we? Well
, maybe I should talk a little quieter,” His voice grew louder with every word.
I groaned and grabbed my pillow, placing it over my face.
“Did you even know this guy before you decided to show a tour of your room?”
I was suddenly sucked back into the events of last night. The eyes of a monster looking down at me as he forced himself upon me. That face, with the most malicious eyes I had ever seen that made my blood run cold. The struggle to break free.
I looked down as the deep pain of sorrow rose from the pit of my stomach. I was fighting to keep control of my emotions. I was good at that. Don’t think of that night, Paige. Think of something good. Something safe. Then he appeared. The face of the angel who saved me, wiping away every nasty, evil memory that hurt so much to think about.
“I need you to cooperate with me here. I know you don’t want to talk about it, but I at least need his name so the police can look for him.”
My eyes grew wide as the fear of having to see Preston again made me nauseated. If the police were to get involved, there was a very good chance that I would have to face him, and I would do anything to keep that from happening. I needed last night to be in the past where it belonged. So I lied.
“I don’t know who he is. I don’t know where he lives, and I can’t remember his name. I was drunk.” My voice grew louder the more irritated I became.
“Can you at least give me a description? I need something here. That prick is not getting away with touching my daughter!”
“Dad, please!” I begged as I looked down.
My father moved from his chair and sat on my bed beside me, putting his hands on either side of my face as he forced me to look into his concerned, sad, brown eyes.
“I’m sorry. We can talk about it later. Ever since the divorce, you’ve gone downhill…I think Tessa really drove you over the edge, though. I don’t know how to fix you. The therapist seemed to work for a while, but you went back to your old ways eventually. I thought sending you away would help you escape what happened, but now I know that it didn’t help at all. I had to keep you out of trouble, and that was the only way I knew how.”