by Adria Wade
He dripped the rag in the water and began cleaning the blood from my face and neck, turning the water pink.
“I was waiting for you to wake up. I have a present for you.”
“A death present?”
He scowled. “Would you stop that?”
“You’re giving me a present because I’m dying…it just doesn’t feel too good.”
“It’s not a death present. I was actually planning to give you the gift before, but Silas needed to be dealt with. I want you to see it just in case you…” He trailed off and rinsed the rag.
“I die. See, death present.”
“Hush your lips and take the damn present.”
I took in a deep breath and got lost in thought for a moment. Death was eventually going to claim me, and it had triggered one particular thought that was eating at me.
My eyes found Eli. “Do you think I’ll go to heaven?”
His brows furrowed. “Yeah, of course. Why would you ask that?”
My chin quivered as tears fell from my eyes. “I don’t know if God forgave me.”
“Well, what did you do?”
The events of that night came storming through my head, so I pushed them down; refused to feel the sorrow, because I was already in enough pain as it was. I sighed.
“I killed my best friend. I was drag racing with Sean, and Tessa was in the passenger seat of my car. I lost control of the vehicle and crashed into an oncoming car.”
His face sagged with sorrow. “Oh, Paige. So that’s why you’re…” He trailed off. He exhaled then spoke once more. “What happened that night was just an accident.”
I looked away from his gaze as I felt my insides drowning with grief. “She wanted me to stop racing. She hated it, and I didn’t listen to her. I killed her,” I cried.
Eli pressed his hand to my cheek. “It was a mistake. You were young and you weren’t thinking as wisely because of that. People make mistakes all the time. Don’t let the guilt burden you, please. You’re letting it destroy you, and Tessa wouldn’t have wanted to see you like this. Let it go.”
I nodded. “If I survive, then I promise you, I will try. I can’t live like this anymore. I need peace.”
“And I’ll help you get there.”
I gasped and grabbed onto the sides of the tub as the same pain that came on so incredibly intense and deep tore through my abdomen once more, and the ache and pain that continued to torment me throughout the rest of my body grew stronger. Eli’s hand ran over my hair as an attempt to comfort me. My breathing grew heavier as I squeezed my eyes shut and fought through it as much as I could, waiting for the pain to weaken once more. I knew it was coming. The blood. I was beginning to see the pattern. The pain that was constant came on stronger, and as it weakened, spitting up blood soon followed. The pressure was building as it made its way up my chest.
“It’s coming,” I said.
Eli helped me lean over the side of the tub, and the blood came spilling from my mouth.
He exhaled and wiped the blood from my mouth with the rag. “I hate seeing you like this.”
And I hated feeling like this, but it would only end when my heart gave in and couldn’t take anymore.
I held my head and took in deep breaths. I felt like I was going to pass out. “I don’t feel good.”
“Okay. Bear with me while I wash you.”
He moved as quickly as he could, washing my hair then my body, to get me out of the tub just in case I were to fall unconscious. My body shivered from the chill that remained constant as I lied on the bed and sucked in deep breaths, fighting with my head to stay awake. He dressed me in sweatpants and a black tank top.
I reached my hand out, struggling to hold my arm up, and he grabbed my hand, helping me to sit up. I groaned, feeling the ache worsen as I moved about. My body swayed back and forth, and I closed my heavy eyes for a moment. Eli gripped my shoulder to keep me from falling. He ran the towel through my hair, soaking up the excess water.
“I could try to brush your hair, but you don’t seem up for it. Only if you want me to.”
I looked up at him and gave a weak smile as my heart warmed with love. He was taking care of me. I loved him that much more.
I leaned forward and rested my head on him. “I’m okay. Thank you for taking care of me.”
His hand ran over my hair, and I closed my eyes; my tense body seemed to relax a bit from his touch. “I always will.”
I sat up and he helped me get settled in bed. It wasn’t until I laid my head on my pillow did I feel how absolutely wrecked I was. The fatigue that I felt when I was moving about was only a taste of what was to come when I let myself rest.
Eli grabbed a pile of sketch papers cut down into rectangles and he gave it to me. “It’s kind of like a book.” He shrugged and smiled.
The sketch on the front was of me. I was lying in his bed, lost in a peaceful sleep.
“Flip through the pages fast. The sketches are what make the story.”
As I flipped through the pages, I saw the story begin to gradually unfold. I was fast asleep and Eli came to sit beside me on the edge of the bed. With a warm smile, his hand touched mine and my sleepy eyes slowly opened. A beaming smile touched my lips. I then sat up and pressed my lips to his, and as I did just that, hearts grew and burst above our heads. Oh, it was amazing. My heart swelled as tears touched my eyes.
“I love it.”
He beamed and brushed the tears from my face. “You’re crying.”
“It’s so sweet. I really don’t deserve you.”
“What happened doesn’t matter anymore. It never changed the way that I felt about you. You chose me.”
As he leaned down to kiss me, it was interrupted by a pain stabbing through my abdomen. I gasped and pressed my hand to my stomach, wanting the pain to end. As I lay paralyzed, I held my breath, though it did nothing to relieve me of the hurt, and I was left whimpering as tears wet my cheeks. My eyesight had blurred and I began to pant. My head and ears began to pulsate with every beat of my frantic heart. I could barely focus. The spinning in my head had only worsened.
Eli’s hand touched my cheek. “Paige, keep fighting.”
But I couldn’t. The darkness was coming. It was sliding over my eyes, pulling me under, dragging me to the land of unconsciousness.
****
I could barely see a thing as I came to. My head ached and throbbed as I shut my eyes once more and groaned. I tried to lift my arm to cradle my head, but found that my weakness left me paralyzed, unable to move a muscle. That’s when I heard it; the voices, so worried and sad as they filled the room. It was Taylor and Eli.
“I don’t know if you or even she will agree to this solution, but I’m desperate to save her, and it’s her only chance at survival,” Eli said.
“I’m pretty sure I know where this is going,” Taylor said.
“Violet said that our actions could change the outcome. She sees Paige dying right now, but if Hunter turns her, she could be saved.”
Taylor exhaled. “I know. I was actually thinking the same thing.”
Me, a wolf? A supernatural? An animal that couldn’t help but to turn on the full moon and feed off humans? I couldn’t picture it at all. It seemed so strange to think that I could ever be a werewolf. Yet, if that meant that I would survive this torture and spare Eli and everyone else the heartbreak, then I was willing to turn. I wasn’t ready to die just yet, and I sure as hell wasn’t ready to leave Eli.
“I say wolf because it’s easier to hide when she’s around your dad. We wouldn’t have to worry about her urge to feed on him until the full moon, and of course she’ll have to learn to control her temper,” Eli said.
“With that, though, comes a complication. Her body is weak and she might not be able to withstand the changing process. There’s always that possibility that it will only worsen her condition and wind up killing her faster,” Taylor said.
“Taylor, I’m so incredibly afraid of turning to wolf venom in ord
er to save her. I know the damage it could do, but I’m more afraid of losing her. If turning her into a wolf is my only shot at saving her then I’m going to take it. To hell with the complication. If I lose her, knowing that I didn’t do everything in my power to keep her alive, then I will never forgive myself. Please, don’t fight me on this.” He was desperate and pleading.
“I’m not ready to lose my sister.” His voice, laced with sorrow, had cracked and I heard him exhale.
I could feel the fatigue taking over, but it was unwelcome—a burden at the moment. No, please don’t take me. I had to hear the final decision, so I fought the hold the darkness had on me as much as I could, but there was nothing left in me. There was no strength left to give. My mind begged me to shut off. In the end, I was forced to give in as I felt my body surrender and sink into a deep sleep.
Chapter Twenty-Four
My mind had stirred, pulling me out of my sleep as my awareness grew. The room was serene for once. No whispering voices and not one growl from a wolf that would awaken when the hurt became too excruciating to fight through. A peaceful serenity floated through the air, instead.
I opened my eyes, my sight still a blur and my limbs still incapacitated. I realized then that this was a permanent state and my body was gradually giving in.
Someone’s shadow hovered over me and a hand, as gentle as can be, found my face and glided down my cheek.
“You’re finally awake,” Eli said.
Yes, I was awake, but I wouldn’t mind drifting off again. I was hurting so bad. When would it end? Tears fell down the side of my face and into my ears. Eli wiped the tears from my eyes, and, as I squeezed them shut, the blurriness that clouded my vision had cleared. I opened my mouth to talk, but I was silenced by the pain that tore apart my body.
“What is it?” he asked.
He had to know that I wanted Hunter to turn me no matter what, even if it contributed to my death in the end.
“Wolf,” I choked out.
“A wolf.” His brows pinched together as he was not completely sure what I was trying to say, but little words were all I could manage.
“Turn me.”
“Oh, you heard us talking. We were waiting for you to wake up to see if you were okay with it. But I’m relieved you’re willing to turn. We can only hope that there aren’t any complications.” He exhaled. “That’s the only part we’re afraid of. Violet made a numbing tea for you, but you weren’t awake to drink it.”
We were then interrupted by Taylor, who came in and stood by the doorway. He didn’t seem pleased at all as he held a scowl to his face and moved away from the door and to the side as he gestured for someone to enter. “Silas.”
My heart dropped when Silas entered the bedroom. He stood in between Demetrius and Athena, and both of them were armed with weapons. There was a cut by his eye that had yet to heal itself. Guilt and sorrow showed on his face when he saw me.
Eli didn’t hesitate for one second. I heard him growl and he stormed over to him, punching him in the face. Silas knew it was coming, yet he did nothing to prevent it.
He spit the blood from his mouth. “What a day. I battle Ambrose, get punched in the face twice, and a dagger held to my throat when G.I. Jane, here, answers the door.”
Athena gave a satisfied smile.
“I’ll gladly punch you again,” Taylor said as his hands balled into fists and he glared his way.
I sighed. I was way too exhausted to handle any fighting
“What did you expect? You don’t get a warm greeting, especially not from me. You let Ambrose almost kill my girl, someone you claimed to love,” Eli said.
Demetrius chuckled. “Incubi don’t love.”
Silas turned to him, his body tense and his eyes like ice. “But I do.”
Demetrius’ mouth set in a hard line and he took a step forward. “But look what you did to her. You’re nothing but poison, and you may have a little good in you deep down, but the malevolent side overshadows it.”
I exhaled. “Stop.”
Athena pulled Silas away and stood in front of him to keep them from fighting. “Everyone stop. You’re stressing her out.”
They all stole a glance my way before backing off.
“Why are you here?” Eli asked.
“To help.”
“I think you’ve done enough,” Taylor said.
Silas sighed and shook his head. “Look, I’m aware that I messed up. I was lost. I didn’t know what to do. I told you it was complicated.” He looked at Demetrius in disdain. “I’m sure you already know.”
“We all know,” Eli said.
Silas’ eyes widened as he turned his focus on me. “And you’re okay with it? I mean, I need you to be because it’s the only way to kill Ambrose.”
My brows pinched together. What was he talking about? What did I need to be okay with? I sighed. They were keeping something from me, and I didn’t like it.
“She doesn’t know. We didn’t want to tell her yet because of the condition she is in, and, unfortunately, she does care for you. She’s not going to take it well,” Taylor said.
One of the many unbearable waves of pain came on so sudden, shredding my insides to pieces, and I cried out, my muscles tensing as I breathed through the pain. Taylor jumped on the bed the same time Eli ran to my aid, as they knew what was coming next. I could feel it rising in my throat as Taylor pushed me on my side and blood flew out of my mouth and into the bucket Eli was holding for me.
I took in a breath, wincing as I lied back down.
“Why hasn’t she been turned yet? I assumed you guys would turn her,” Silas said.
“We are,” Athena said.
“Tell me…about Silas,” My voice worn out and cracking as I forced out the words.
“Not yet, okay? We need to get you better first,” Taylor said.
“Now.”
Silas moved toward me, only for Demetrius to shove him back. “Don’t you even think about it.”
I sighed. My frustration was growing. I was so incredibly sick of the tension, especially now when my body was hurting. “Let… him,” I said, attempting to yell, but it only left me breathless.
Silas moved toward me once more with a heated look to his face as he and Eli had a stare down. He tore his eyes away from Eli and sat beside me.
“I’m really sorry for everything. I will never forgive myself for what I did, and it’s okay if you hate me now. I deserve it. The only way I know how to make it up to you is by helping you kill Ambrose…and me.”
My heart twisted. Silas was good. I cared for him. I didn’t want to kill him. Everyone that I let in and let myself love always seemed to wind up dying because of me. I just couldn’t do it anymore.
“Not…you.”
He frowned. “You have to. Ambrose is my twin. We share the same blood. We’re automatically bonded, and if you kill one twin then you kill the other. You need the blood of one of the twins for the ritual to work.” He looked down and sighed. “I guess you can call it selfish, but I wasn’t sure if I wanted to help you because that meant that I would ultimately help you kill myself. I didn’t feel ready. I realized back at the cabin that I was willing to die if that meant saving you from Ambrose. I really do love you. I know I shouldn’t, though. I’m glad you chose Eli over me, because he can give you everything that I’m not able to give you, even though I really wanted to.” His voice, filled with sorrow, had cracked, and he immediately cleared his throat.
Tears leaked out of my eyes, and I sucked in a deep breath, feeling the ache of my breaking heart. I felt a sense of embarrassment as I cried while everyone watched. Was it wrong to cry over him after what he did? Was it wrong to feel so deeply hurt because of what I was being forced to do? I wasn’t completely sure.
He leaned down and pressed his lips to my forehead, lingering for a moment, and I could feel his warm tears drip on my head before he pulled back and stood.
A sudden jolt of pain slammed into my heart. I gasped for breath and
held my chest as the pain squeezed the life out of my heart and it spread down my arm.
Eli, frantic and worried, hovered over me. “Paige, what’s wrong?”
“It’s her heart. We shouldn’t have waited to turn her. I knew this was a mistake,” Taylor said.
“What if it’s too late?” Silas asked.
Fear numbed my insides at that thought. I didn’t want to die!
There was so much yelling as chaos burst to life around me. It was hard for me to breathe, and I was so incredibly afraid. My mind grew fuzzy and I could barely focus as the black shades began to cover my eyes. As I slowly slipped away, there was a sharp pain that pierced my neck, sending fire raging through my veins. It spread throughout my body. I screamed, and as the wrath of the venom took over, my body began to pulsate. I shut my eyes as I could no longer keep them open.
****
Painful spasms twisted through my muscles and I grunted in pain as my body arched off the bed. My skin burned with a fever as sweat poured off my body.
I felt a soft, wet, cold cloth press against my forehead, and it brought relief to my burning, hot skin.
“It’s okay. Be strong,” Chelsea soothed.
I tore my eyes open to see her standing over me, dipping the cloth in a bowl of cold water. With my nerves shot, my body shook from the pain. My panting turned into a scream as the spasms strengthened, tearing through my body like a tornado, destroying and poisoning my insides.
I squeezed on Eli’s hand, who knelt on the bed on the other side of me.
I closed my eyes and grunted. “I’m so tired.”
“No, don’t say that. Please, don’t give up,” Eli said. I heard him exhale. “Damn it, why did I wait to turn her?”
“Hey, she’s going to be just fine. You did the right thing. You didn’t get a say when you were turned. I made that decision for you, and you didn’t want it to be forced on her. You did well,” Athena said.
“Still, if she doesn’t make it, I will never forgive myself for not making that decision for her.”