by Adria Wade
I sighed and shut my eyes as the heavy feeling grew. “He’s bonded with evil.”
I was more so trying to encourage myself to go through with it.
“Paige,” Violet called.
My heart sank as I focused my attention on Violet, who knelt on the floor, and as she lit the final candle, she shifted her attention to me. The candles shined their light over her face, and her skin glowed with beauty. “It’s time.”
I nodded and went to her. Silas came to stand beside me. Violet cut her palm with a dagger and let her blood spill in the middle of the pentagram, and I did the same. Violet held the dagger out for Silas.
“I have claws.”
“Okay, then. You should stand to the side for now. I have to leave the circle open so that you can step inside the pentagram after Paige breaks the bond,” Violet said.
“And then you spill your blood,” Demetrius said.
“I know what to do, hunter,” Silas said.
Violet handed Eli an Amethyst. “Put this down as soon as Silas steps in the pentagram to lock them in.”
“Okay.”
I took my place on the pentagram. With my body tense and my stomach heavy with hurt, I took in a breath and tried to push the feeling aside. I couldn’t allow my grief to cloud my mind. I couldn’t risk second thoughts.
I looked at Silas, whose miserable eyes were already settled on me.
“No hesitating. It has to be this way,” he said.
I nodded. He was right, but that didn’t mean it hurt any less. I held the locket that was hanging from my neck.
“Remember, put power behind his name when you call on him,” Demetrius said.
I shut my eyes and focused. “Ambrose.”
For a moment, the air was still. I could feel the evil in the room before he showed, and the hair on my arms rose. Then he appeared. His eyes so malicious and angry, stared into mine, and with my eyes just as cold as his were, I glared back, refusing to let him put fear in me.
Demetrius began to chant, reminding me what to say. “I unbound my soul from you, Ambrose, and free myself of your evil ways-”
“So that you shall no longer have control over me!” Ambrose yelled, finishing the chant. A smile so sinister, crossed his face. “You’re not protected.”
I gasped as he lunged forward with his claws out. He suddenly stopped, gasping for breath as he held his heart. He fell to his knees, immobilized by the pain in his chest.
“Go on!” Violet yelled. Her arm was outstretched, and her hand was balled as she focused on Ambrose, unleashing her power.
“I unbound my soul from you, Ambrose, and free myself of your evil ways, so that you shall no longer have control over me.”
I repeated the chant over and over five times as air gushed all around us, swirling like a tornado, and when I spoke the last words, the unknown force hit into my stomach and I gasped as pain exploded within, ripping apart the bond that held us together. Ambrose’s face contorted in pain as he held his stomach, feeling the force shred through his insides. When it was done, I was relieved of the stabbing pain instantly, only to be left with a dull ache.
Silas stepped inside the pentagram, and Eli quickly locked them in with the Amethyst. Ambrose looked up at Silas, the anger masking the hurt he felt from his own twin’s betrayal. His eyes widened as Silas cut his palm with his claw and let the blood fall to the floor.
“You idiot!” Ambrose yelled.
He stood in a flash, driving his claws deep into Silas’ stomach. My mouth fell open as the sight of him getting hurt took my breath away.
“You’re willing to die for some girl who never even loved you back. You’re pathetic!”
Silas gasped, blood spilling from his mouth as Ambrose twisted his claws, shredding through his insides even more.
“Repeat after me, Paige. I cast you, Ambrose and Silas… demons of the night…to the fiery pits of hell…where you shall burn in the eternal flame of fire,” Demetrius said.
This was it…this was when I would have to let him go. Tears fell from my eyes almost instantly and I kept my head down, afraid to look up at him in fear that I would back out. I refused to include Silas’ name in the chant, because I didn’t agree with killing him. I was killing Ambrose, therefore, his name was the only name coming out of my mouth. Unfortunately, not saying Silas’ name wouldn’t change his fate.
“I cast you, Ambrose…demon of the night…to the fiery pits of hell…where you shall burn in the eternal flame of fire.” My heart thumped so hard against my chest as I balled my hands into fists, and forced myself to say it again.
“I cast you, Ambrose…demon of the night…to the fiery pits of hell…where you shall burn in the eternal flame of fire.” My voice was shaking in sorrow.
I took in a much needed breath as the pain hit me deep in my gut. It was so overwhelming that I almost cried out from the ache. I was killing him! I could hear their gasps, their cries from the pain.
“Paige,” Silas’ voice filled with so much agony, and it made me cringe. I didn’t want to hear it. I didn’t want to acknowledge how my words, so powerful and deadly, tortured his very soul.
My throat grew thick as the misery I was forced to endure tore me to pieces. I had to say it one last and final time. Silas would have to leave me forever. I wished there was another way. I just wanted to be woken up from the nightmare. I forced myself to continue on, and I looked up, immediately regretting it once my eyes fell on Silas. His face was contorted in pain and his skin bubbled, as if the blood that swam through his veins boiled with heat. With much hesitance, I finished the chant and watched as they burst into flames, burning until there was nothing left but the ashes of their remains.
My hand flew to my mouth and I cried so hard as the pain of losing him cut me deep. I gasped for breath. “I killed him!”
With empathy in their eyes, they looked helpless as they watched me fall apart, knowing that nothing would change how I felt. They all came to me at once, forming a circle around me as they embraced me with comfort and love. Eli hung back, waiting for his turn, and when they freed me of their embrace, I immediately went to him, wrapping my arms around him as I melted in his arms.
“I’m sorry it had to be this way. Let’s go in the house and I’ll make you some coffee with cinnamon in it, of course. Would you like that?”
He brushed the tears away with his thumbs.
I sniffled. “I think I’m going to stay here. Alone.”
“Alone? No. You don’t need to be alone right now,” Taylor said.
“We could have girl time, if you’re up for it. Company always seems to help in times like this,” Chelsea said, hopeful that I would say yes.
“If you stay here then I want to stay with you,” Eli said.
“I have to clear my head. Then I’ll come find you.”
“Guys, she needs time to process everything. She’ll be okay,” Violet said.
Eli exhaled. “Fine, but I don’t like it.”
His eyes fell on the locket, and he picked the pendant up. “Claw marks…it’s from him, isn’t it?”
I nodded. “It’s the only thing I have to remember him by. Do you mind if I wear it?”
He didn’t answer right away as he stared down at the necklace. “I will never agree with what you two had, but I can’t change how much you cared about him. This locket is important to you. I refuse to take it away. I don’t mind at all.”
He left a soft, lingering kiss on my lips before following everyone out of the training facility.
Some of the candles still burned, flickering their light all around me as I lied on the floor with tears covering my cheeks and my hand wrapped around the locket. I couldn’t keep Silas’ final moment of life from my mind, and I knew it would forever haunt me. He screamed my name. He begged me to stop, because it hurt him so bad. I closed my eyes and shook my head. It was a horrible sound. I had lost yet another person who left their mark on my heart, and it was proof that the omen, the burden of death, still fo
llowed me, continuing its torture on my heart and soul.
“I’m sorry, Silas,” I whispered.
****
The door to the training facility opened and I sat up, averting my gaze to Athena, Chelsea, and Violet entering the room. I eyed the bottle of vodka in Chelsea’s hand, and an already filled shot glass in the other. My mouth watered as the urge to have a drink rushed over me. With that temptation came fear. I was afraid to lose myself in booze. I let myself become a monster. I let myself become dependent on alcohol. I liked drinking, and I liked the numbness it brought, but I learned that it only made my life that much more complicated. I was hurting the people around me. I hated seeing the worry and helplessness on the faces of the people that I loved. It was making my relationship with Eli complicated, and if I didn’t stop, pretty soon, our love would only grow toxic. I didn’t see it before, but with the help and tough love around me, I learned that alcohol was only destroying me. There was another way to conquer my pain, and it was Eli’s way. I had a long road ahead of me before I got better, but I knew it would be worth it in the end.
They sat down with me and Athena placed the shot glasses on the floor in front of Chelsea.
“So, we think we waited long enough to come see you. I mean, it’s been an hour already. We were afraid if we didn’t come, you would’ve stayed in here alone all night,” Athena said.
“You’re probably right,” I said.
“You weren’t actually alone, though. Eli and Hunter have been outside, peeking in through the window,” Chelsea said.
I smiled. “I should’ve known Eli wasn’t going to leave.”
“Hunter actually had a fit when he had to leave,” Violet said.
“What? Why?”
“He’s your alpha. His duty is to protect and care for you, especially in times like this. He wanted to give you space, but he also has to fulfill his role as the alpha, so he decided to watch over you from a distance.”
I sighed. “Oh, right.”
I wasn’t so sure about the whole alpha exerting dominance over me thing.
“You don’t like the idea of an alpha, I know, but it will be good for you. He’s not overbearing, and as you can see, he’ll give you the freedom you need, but take control of the situation when you’re troubled and thinking irrationally…if he has it in him, that is. He’s a softy. Try it, and if you don’t like it, you could always go rogue,” Violet said.
I gave a small smile. “You already know, though.”
With guilt on her face, her eyes drifted away as her mouth lifted into a smile. “Well, of course I dabbled a little.”
“And?”
“He’s so adorable to you, and you grow attached. You two make a good pair for a pack. I’m a tad bit jealous. Though, I know there’s no reason to be. You won’t take my wolf man away from me.”
I smiled. “Absolutely not.”
“Do you want to talk about it?” Athena asked.
“I’m not sure,” I grumbled.
“It helps,” Chelsea said.
There was a part of me that was hesitant to, because it was hard for me to open up. I always pushed the feelings aside—well, tried to, anyway—but I knew that if I wanted things to change then I had to learn to talk about it and face it rather than ignore it, where it only ended up building until I couldn’t take it anymore.
“Okay, I guess I can try.”
“What was Silas like?” Chelsea asked.
I sighed, feeling the sting of hurt as his face came flashing through my mind. “He had a way with words. He always knew the right moment to dazzle you with his charm. He always seemed so mysterious, yet I instinctively knew that there was a much vulnerable and softer side to his evil one. He was playful, and he made me laugh.” I brushed the tears away that fell down my face. “His eyes were dreamy, and his smile…I’m going to miss that smile. I’m going to miss him.”
Violet grabbed my hand. “We know. He’ll always be with you, though, as long as you have those moments with him and think back on him in remembrance. He will always remain alive, through you.”
I nodded and sniffled.
I then met Athena’s stare. “How did you get over Isaac’s death?”
She then looked down, sorrow rushing to her face as she sighed. “I don’t think I ever did. I guess it just got easier as time went on. The sorrow lessens, but, still, I will never forget and I will always miss him. I wish I could go back and save him…but I can’t. I think you dwell on what happened too much. You’re constantly reliving the tragedy, and it’s keeping you from moving forward and healing from it,” Athena said.
I looked down. She was absolutely right.
“You could go Chelsea style on her. She is a wolf now. She can handle it,” Chelsea said.
“Chelsea style?” I asked.
“When I have a troubled mind, I turn to archery to help settle my emotions. I used to hunt to take my mind off my problems, but I can’t do that anymore. Anyway, Chelsea likes to help me by challenging me to a fight. It always helps. I would have to take it easy on you, though. My fighting skills are far more advanced than what you can take.”
“Oh, I’m sure I can take you, pumpkin.” I smirked and cracked my knuckles.
Her brows rose as her eyes glinted with amusement. “Is that a challenge?”
“Absolutely.”
“When I bring the heat, I really bring the heat.”
“So will I.”
“You have no idea what you’re getting yourself into. So when are we doing this?”
“I have a few things to take care of first. After that, I’ll be ready to rumble.”
“Okay then. I can’t wait.”
We shook hands, locking in the challenge.
“So we thought we should make a toast to a loved one lost—hence, the vodka,” Athena said.
“Okay,” I said.
One last drink before my road to recovery.
Chelsea filled the three shot glasses up, handing us ours before grabbing her own.
My brows rose. Was this chick serious? She can’t drink. “You’re drinking?”
“Of course not. Mine has water in it.”
I raised my shot glass, and so did they.
“First, I want to make a toast to Paige, our little rebel, for her bravery and impeccable strength. You are far stronger than you will ever know, and I hope that one day you will be able to find peace within yourself,” Chelsea said.
I smiled. “Thank you.”
It was my turn. My smile quickly faded and I sighed, feeling the burden of loss. The pain never got easier. The little joy that I found from my playful spat with Athena had been drowned out as grief rushed over me once more. I felt like I was on a rollercoaster ride. They would do or say something that would fill me with joy, but then I was hit with the heavy and it brought back the misery.
“To Silas, whom was technically my guardian angel in disguise: I may have lost you today, but you will forever live in my heart.”
We clinked glasses and drank up. Only it wasn’t the least strong and it didn’t even taste like vodka. In fact, there was no taste at all.
“Yep, not vodka,” I said.
“I don’t remember vodka tasting like water, Chelsea Watson. I was ready to feel the burn, damn it,” Athena said.
“I knew it all along. I just went with it,” Violet said, shrugging.
Chelsea grinned. “Oh, come on, guys; if I can’t have alcohol, neither can you.”
I snorted and burst into laughter, as did they. It was a deep, long laugh; one that left your cheeks sore and your stomach hurting. It felt good to feel something other than pain. I didn’t want to hurt anymore. I wanted to heal. I could feel a change in myself. They were changing me. I was around a group of people who had felt so much loss themselves and had been through so many things. They had scars just like I did. They all were, in a way, my strength.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
I stood in front of the elegant, white marbled wall that housed Tes
sa’s body. My eyes drowned in tears as I stared at her name. I still couldn’t believe she was gone. After three years, it still didn’t seem real.
With a shaky hand, I ran my fingers over the marble, and as my cool tears flowed down my face, I let myself grieve, I let myself feel the raw, deep sea of sorrow without any restraint, and it came rushing over me, taking my breath away. I heard a whimper as I felt the vibrations of my wolf running through me. My emotions were affecting her.
“I’m sorry…I’m so sorry for what I did to you. I took everything away from you to win a stupid race. I tore you away from your family and Sean, and I wish I could go back and change it all. I’m sorry I didn’t come visit you sooner…I just couldn’t accept what I did. Please, don’t hate me, Tessa.” I sniffled and took in a breath. “I miss you every day.”
Eli’s arms slid around my waist, pulling me close. I shut my eyes as his comfort enclosed on me. His lips pressed against the back of my head and he kissed my hair. He said nothing, he just held me, and it was exactly what I needed to get through this day.
“I can’t remember what her voice sounded like anymore. I blocked her out for so long that I forgot how she sounded when she spoke.” I turned in his arms. “Is that pathetic?”
“No; it was your own way of coping. Do you remember the first night we met, and I told you that everything was going to be okay?”
“Yeah.”
“You didn’t believe me then. Do you believe me now?”
I smiled and rested my head on his chest. My tense body, stricken with hurt, had melted into his touch at once as I absorbed his comfort and love. I was shown a different way to cope with the loss of the ones that I loved and with the guilt of my actions, and because of that, hope had blossomed within me.
“Yeah…I do believe that everything will be okay.”