Garig was struggling, and for a moment, Kade felt sorry for him. He saw his father’s agony and felt compassion for him. He was about to tell his father not to say another word to relieve him of his suffering when Garig let out the breath he was holding, and his shoulders slumped in resignation. Kade wanted to scream “NO” but could not get himself to speak. He knew that his life was about to change forever, and he just could not keep from listening.
“He said…,” Garig started to say and everything went into slow motion. His father walked slowly along the porch as he spoke, his eyes glazed as he agonized over a distant memory.
Kade could hear the birds in the distance as everything became surreal. He could feel the cool air on his face as his father was turning toward the open door. Garig stopped as he agonized over the knowledge he was about to impart. Kade knew to the very bottom of his soul that this moment was going to be one that defined who he was and it scared him.
“He stood there holding you for so long,” Garig said with a grim look on his face, not able to look at his son with what he was about to say. “I stayed still, not making a sound,” he continued as he moved to stand in the doorway, his back to his son. “For the rest of my life, I will never forget those five words I heard him whisper. The lesser of two evils,” Garig said and then walked into the cabin without even a glance back.
Kade felt like he had been hit in the gut. His stomach twisted in a knot, and he thought he was going to be sick. His mind whirled out of control, and he wished he had never heard what his father was trying to say. He hated himself for listening. He knew he should have left, but now, it was too late. He was always going to remember that this is what his grandfather thought of him. His heart ached desperately. He felt like he wanted to get on the dragon and ride for days. He wanted to flee this land and never look back. He clenched his fists in anger, feeling a swirl of emotions wracking his mind, heart and soul.
Why is fate so cruel to me? Does this mean I am as bad as Morg? Kade asked himself. Why? Why would Zayle say that about me? How could he think that? What does he see that he did not tell me? Kade agonized as he continued to stare at the ground.
“Kade,” Darcienna said softly as she lightly touched him on the arm. He flinched hard as he looked at her. He opened his mouth but could not find any words. He stood there gaping like a fish out of water as his mind searched for something to say, some way to keep her from running from him.
How can she stay with me now? How? he thought.
“I am sure there is more to this,” she said as she slid around to look him in the eye. So much compassion and trust was almost too much for him to comprehend.
Kade shook his head, trying to convince himself he would think on it later, but he knew better. It would be on his mind always. Darcienna waited for him patiently, unsure what to do to help with his agony. She slowly moved her hand on his arm as if to sooth him, and it seemed to help just a little.
“Let’s go,” he said as he tried to be strong.
Would mother and father ever really be comfortable with me? he asked himself. Well, mother might be, but father was another thing. Did he consider me a bad person? He had to know me better than that. But, why would he not look me in the eye? Was he afraid to see that what he was saying was the truth? As much as Kade tried to focus on mounting the dragon, his mind kept seeing the goodbye he received from his father. After what his father had said, he was not quite sure if he was welcome long term. Short term was something he knew was okay. He tried to clear his mind and focus on the current task of Valdry.
*CH2*
Darcienna was very grateful for the seat in front of the wing instead of behind where she had been for the last several rides. Now, she was not going to feel as if she were about to slide down the dragon’s tail with every step that Rayden took. She settled in for the journey, waiting for Kade to give the dragon the signal to go. She waited patiently for him to get situated while his mind struggled with the latest dilemma.
Kade fought the urge to look back at the cabin and gave Rayden the signal to go. The dragon turned and started with a slow lope. Kade urged it to a greater speed, afraid that every second he lost was a second he desperately needed. Against his better judgment, he stole a glance back to see if anyone was watching. There was no one in the doorway, but one of the curtains swayed slightly as it fell into place.
Kade watched as the land moved beneath them in a blur. Time slipped by as his mind tortured him over and over with the consequences of his decisions; some good and some painfully disastrous. He closed his eyes, and the image of his father standing with his back to him as he spoke was as clear as if he were standing right there in front of him. If that was not the image haunting him it would be the image of Zayle lying in a pool of blood. Or maybe he would see the many injuries his parents suffered because of him. He clenched his jaw hard one time and then focused on the land again as it flowed past.
“Kade,” Darcienna said soothingly in almost a whisper, feeling tension come and go too frequently for her liking. Her voice, in that soothing tone, helped him find release from his torment. He melted and leaned back slightly, his mind fatigued from being overworked. Darcienna found that she was also able to relax, now that Kade was not trapped in his own thoughts.
Hours passed swiftly as the dragon continued on at its easy pace. The land was soon cloaked in darkness. Although Kade was considerably more at ease, his mind continued to drift back to his mother and father. He wished he could be there for them, but he knew he would only put them in peril.
“Do you know the Chosen we are going to see?” Darcienna asked, breaking the long silence. It startled Kade, but he was grateful for it.
“No. I learned about him for the first time when I opened the black book.”
“How do you know he will help?”
“Because Zayle seemed to think he would, or his information would not be in the book. At least, that is how I see it,” Kade said with just a touch of doubt in his voice.
As the dragon continued on in its rolling lope, both riders returned to their own thoughts once more. Darcienna mulled over what Kade had said about the Chosen they were going to meet. Something about this made her uneasy, but she could not quite put her finger on it. Maybe it was the unknown, but it seemed that nothing except danger surrounded the Chosen. And, of course, more danger meant Kade was going to try to keep her safe by trying to send her away. It was a pattern she was recognizing, but she would deal with that when the time came.
Darcienna opened her mouth to ask a question but hesitated, unsure if she wanted to know the answer. She watched the way the muscles in his back flexed as the dragon moved while she considered her query. In the end, she decided that it was best to know now before things had progressed too far along.
“Kade, what did you do when you were in Corbin?” Darcienna asked casually.
“I was only there one time. My master was not interested in letting me have much fun,” Kade said as he thought about how hard he used to push Zayle to let him go, even if it was just once a year. For reasons unknown to Kade at the time, Zayle was keeping him secluded to keep him safe. “I ran into someone I became friends with while I was there,” Kade said as he smiled. He recalled the man who was quick of wit and had a knack for dragging him into situations that he knew better than to be involved with.
“What did you and your friend do?” Darcienna asked. Kade sensed a slight bit of tension and turned to look into her face. He only saw her looking back at him sweetly. Shrugging his shoulders, he casually answered the question while facing forward once again, clearly enjoying the memory.
“Well, first, we went to Dagios where they make the best food ever. Then, we went to this tavern where they put on the most exotic shows I have ever seen. It’s actually quite amazing,” Kade said as he shot a glance over his shoulder. His mood was brightening considerably.
“I know,” Darcienna said under her breath.
“What?” Kade asked as he let his eyes take in
the distant horizon.
“I was thinking there had to be more,” Darcienna said. She held her hand out in front of herself as if to check for dirt under her nails.
“Well, shortly after we got to the tavern, Turk, that was his name, started to feed me drinks the likes of which I have never had. And wow did they have a kick,” Kade said as he chuckled. “I could hardly stand after two,” he said and then tilted his head to the side, looking up as if trying to find a memory. “I remember meeting someone, but I can’t quite recall the situation,” Kade said as he narrowed his eyes, trying to pull the memory to the surface.
“A man?” Darcienna asked as she looked off into the woods.
“A woman,” Kade said simply.
“Do you even remember her name?” Darcienna asked with an ever so slightly sarcastic tone in her voice. Kade was too much in his own head to have caught the tone.
“I told you, I was too drunk to remember. I couldn’t recall her name let alone her face but I know it was a good time,” Kade said, completely unaware of the change in her mood.
“That explains it,” Darcienna said, a tightness in her voice.
“What was that?” Kade asked absentmindedly.
“Nothing,” Darcienna said as she took in a breath and let it out slowly.
“Why so many questions?” Kade asked as he turned to look back at her again.
“No reason. I was wondering what you do for fun. Just trying to pass the time is all,” Darcienna said easily, all signs of her displeasure gone. Although he did not pursue that line of question any further, he did ask another of his own that caught her off guard.
“What did you do the last time you were in Corbin?” Kade asked as he shifted, trying to find a more comfortable position that would ease the riding sores he was developing.
“I went there with my teacher. She had some things she had to do, so I thought I would go along,” Darcienna responded, careful to omit details she would rather keep to herself. Unfortunately, Kade continued to blunder blindly along the path she was trying to avoid.
“So, what did you do for fun when you were there?” Kade asked with a smile.
Darcienna heard the tone in his voice and shook her head, rolling her eyes. She looked at the back of his head and considered smacking him for even suggesting something along those lines. Just when she was seriously considering actually putting her hand upside his head, she stopped and thought about her night. She did meet someone, but it was not like he was implying. It was not like he was making it sound.
Sure I did not know him, but it was different, she thought. He was special. It was not as if I had been with more than one guy. That mattered. It did.
“I normally go shopping or watch some shows,” Darcienna said tight lipped.
“Is that all?” Kade asked teasingly. “You and some of your friends did not go out for some fun?” he pressed playfully, missing the dangerous tone.
“No,” Darcienna said firmly. She tried to hide her anger but the implications were grating on her. “I don’t have any friends in Corbin.”
“You did not shop the whole time. What else did you do?” Kade asked, oblivious to the storm that was brewing directly behind him.
“I already told you that I met a man when I was there the last time. What else do you want me to tell you?” Darcienna asked tersely. She immediately regretted her frustration. He really had not done anything wrong besides be oblivious, as all men are.
Kade sobered instantly as he remembered the other man she had talked about. Why did it bother him all of a sudden? He was teasing her and implying that she might have fun meeting people, but now that she had, indeed, done what he was implying, he found himself becoming agitated. The ache that slowly built in his heart made him regret his line of questioning. He was trying to decide how to crush this jealous feeling that was building in him when he paused, sensing he was missing something. There was a piece of a puzzle that just would not fall into place. It was right there. Something about her. Something she was just saying. Maybe the way she was saying it?
“Kade, what’s wrong?” Darcienna asked, sensing his mood change.
“Nothing,” Kade said as he tried to grasp what was right in front of him, and then it all evaporated like it was never there.
Darcienna considered pressing but decided it would be best if they left it alone. They rode in silence for a while, each in their own thoughts. Kade was deep in his own mind, trying to grasp what he was missing. It felt important, but why? Darcienna started to wonder if she had said something that might have angered him. She was considering asking him, but after a few moments of consideration, she decided to drop it. If he wanted to talk with her about what he was thinking, he would. Little did she know he was still trying to grasp what was eluding him. Finally, he shrugged his shoulders and gave up as his stomach grumbled. Darcienna started to fidget at that moment, shifting several times, trying to find a comfortable position to sit without success. After a few moments of this, Kade turned to look at her.
“You okay?” Kade asked as he saw a pained look on her face.
“Kade, I know we need to get to Valdry as soon as possible, but my legs are cramping horribly and my backside is killing me,” Darcienna said as she shifted again while grimacing. Kade narrowed his eyes in thought as he replayed the call for help in his mind. He was about to plead for her to suffer just a little longer when she continued. “Kade, we need rest. And, we have no way of knowing who it was that was calling to you.” This last brought Kade up short.
“It never occurred to me that it would be anyone other than Valdry,” Kade said as he looked into her eyes.
“It could even be a trap. You just don’t know. I think we should rest for the night and start fresh tomorrow. Besides, I am starving.”
“You make an excellent point. Okay, I think this is a good place to rest,” Kade said as he brought the dragon to a stop. “We have about eight more hours of dark, so we shouldn’t be bothered.”
Kade jumped to the ground and turned gracefully, clearly getting used to this. He offered his hand to her. She looked at him, trying to see through the front he was putting up, but he was too good. She shook her head, accepting that she was not going to solve this mystery and reached out to accept his hand as she started to slide down toward him. She missed his hand and fell into his arms. Kade was unprepared as the weight of her pressed him backwards. The long ride had taken more of a toll on him that he realized as he scrambled to regain his balance, but his boot struck a root from a nearby tree and they started to fall. He wrapped his arms around her to protect her from the impact.
As soon as the pain from the jarring landing subsided, Kade opened his eyes to see Darcienna’s face just inches from his. He became very aware of her body pressed against his and started to feel sensations grow to a dangerous level that would soon shut down the logical part of his brain. He felt her breath against his face and inhaled, enjoying her intoxicating scent. He felt himself start to melt as his eyes wandered over her lips, feeling the urge to taste their sweetness. His hands started to move down her back as if they had a mind of their own. He was on the verge of losing all sense of right or wrong and just letting go. Darcienna slowly slid up as she moved closer to his lips, sliding her hips along his. His breathing was far from steady, and just when he was on the verge of letting go completely, the thought of her with the other guy caused jealousy to flare in him.
Is this thing with me temporary until she can go back to this other guy? He asked himself.
“I can’t do this,” Kade said as he lifted her off and rolled out from under her.
“What did I do wrong?” Darcienna asked, completely at a loss. “Kade…,” she started to say, but he waved her to silence.
What he wanted to say was that he wanted her more than he wanted life itself. He wanted to pull her into his arms, look deep in her eyes and then lose himself in her kiss. He wanted this so much that his heart ached. But, if she found the one she was looking for, the pain h
e would feel would crush him beyond recovery, and he knew this more certainly than anything. He knew what it was to feel the loss of someone that meant everything to him. He was not going to watch her go into the arms of another. He could not think of a more hurtful thing to do to himself than to believe that he could have her only to lose her at a later time. She was more than just a piece of flesh. She was Darcienna.
She sat on the ground, confused, studying Kade, trying to read his thoughts as the expression on his face changed rapidly. She was sure she could see love in his eyes when he looked at her. But in the next instant, it would change to such sadness that she could feel tears threaten to well up in her own eyes. Then, it felt as if a wall a mile thick was growing between them. The wall grew and grew as she watched. Her heart felt as if someone had reached in and was squeezing little by little.
Do you not want me? she agonized as she looked at him. Why would you not let me in? What is it that you are not telling me? What would it take to get you to open up to me and be mine? she asked as she stared at the ground. She could see as clearly as day that he wanted her. He wanted her in many ways and she wanted him also, so why fight it?
Darcienna stood and dusted off her clothes. She turned away to hide her face and took several steps without looking back. Well, she intended not to look back, but after a dozen steps or so, she glanced over her shoulder. She saw him watching her, and for just a moment, she saw him looking through a crack in that wall and then it was gone. She stopped and stared down at nothing, trying to convince herself she was not hurt. While she watched, a single teardrop hit the ground and sent a small puff of dust into the air. She wiped her face and swallowed hard. He had his reasons. When he was ready, he would bring down that wall, but for now, he had his reasons. She just had to be patient and be there for him. The more her mind followed this line of thinking, the better she felt. She stole a glance at him and saw him standing as still as a statue.
The Divine Path (The Divine Series) Page 3