He decided he could do this. “Help me,” he said.
“First of all you have to assume the position behind me. Can you do that, T.J.?”
Well, hell yes, he could.
He knelt on the bed and allowed his thighs to touch the backs of hers, his cock rooting up the cleft in her smooth behind. His hands were on her ass, rubbing, squeezing and separating the cheeks.
“Touch me,” she whispered.
His fingers found her soft lips. He rimmed her opening and played with her folds, but still felt hesitant to penetrate. She moved herself against him, asking for it, but he found himself almost afraid of her need.
He dropped a shoulder and angled himself under her, kissing her sweet folds and massaging her nub with his tongue. Her sweet and sour flavor, musky with need, was an elixir. Her body jumped as he ran his teeth over her clitoris and then sucked her to a peak.
“Oh God, I had no idea I needed this so much,” she moaned.
He gently tipped her to her back, putting one knee between her legs and feeling her ride his thigh. Her face was a beautiful painting of softness and lust as she lost herself for him. His thumbs and fingers pinched her nipples, and she arched, moaning. Her sensitivity to his touch anywhere on her body was spurring him on like never before.
“Baby,” he whispered as he nestled a kiss under her ear. His erection pressed under and around her belly. “I have something.”
“Thank you, because I don’t.”
He reached for his pants at the foot of the bed, sheathed himself and returned.
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
“I’ll tell you if it hurts, T.J. But right now, I don’t want to talk anymore. I want you inside me. No more questions, T.J. No more,” she said in her silken voice. She lifted her head off the pillow to plant a long kiss on him, sucking his tongue inside as she rubbed her sex against his thigh. “Please, T.J., I need you inside me.”
He didn’t want to press down on her abdomen, so was careful to brace himself, which was no problem. Her writhing form beneath him, the touch of her belly against his abdomen was actually a turn-on he hadn’t expected. His cock ran the length of her and then found her opening, and he stopped.
He wanted to watch her eyes while he penetrated her. He wanted them to look at each other. This was not his usual way. But this time was different. He wanted the reality of what they were doing to be front and center. It needed to happen in the full light of the day, without the excuse of alcohol and without the intense foreplay and occasional light bondage he usually liked.
He wanted this woman because she was carrying his best friend’s child, and because he’d promised to protect, defend and take care of her. He wanted to fulfill his promise, and maybe receive a little redemption in return. He hoped it would change him, perhaps exorcise his demons.
He leaned forward with his forearms at the side of her face, rubbed his thumbs across her lips and her eyelids and kissed them one by one while he crouched and angled himself to push gently inside her. As he did, little by little, he saw it in her eyes, all the pain for the past and the love for the future. All at once. Right there in her eyes. He gave himself to her in every way he could.
He’d never wanted to mate with a woman this way. Bring her pleasure, rock her world and be the man she could depend on. He wanted that. As he rooted, carefully at first, she accepted him deep. He felt no hesitation as he rhythmically drew in and out, changing the speed but pulling the edge off it. He poured intensity into the slow slapping of their bodies, the feel of the smooth surfaces of her skin, the little moans and whimpers of her soul. He wanted her to bring it all on, full force. He wanted to take all of her.
He didn’t know what to expect, but gradually her body slipped into a long rolling orgasm that triggered his own. She rolled her shoulders up and to the side so she could look at their joining. He kissed her belly as she ran her fingers through his hair, massaging his temples. He kissed her nipples and she arched backward, her head falling back into the bed. His spurting inside her was prolonged, and he knew she could feel every drop.
Her eyes filled with tears that spilled over onto the vanilla-colored pillows underneath her.
“Everything okay, baby?”
“It couldn’t be better,” she whispered. “I thought I had no right to this. But he’s here.”
T.J. wasn’t sure he was going to like what she would say next.
“I know he’s here. I know this is what he’d want, T.J.”
He remembered Frankie saying that very thing, but he also knew he would never be able to tell her that. His hand smoothed over her engorged abdomen again. He loved the feel of the taut skin under his fingertips and palm. He agreed with her, even though he’d believed he had no right to this.
But he also knew he’d belonged here all along.
Chapter Ten
‡
RIGHT NOW HER body was sensitive everywhere. The changes in her hormone levels, the softening of her bones and toughening up of her nipples in preparation for birthing a baby and giving succor, mixed with the wonderful glow of a new love…not only growing inside her belly, but also in her heart, as she learned to accept the reality that she could expand that heart and open it to include T.J.
She could love Frankie and all that Frankie had meant to her, even including her occasional regrets, and she could love his child. But she found room in there for T.J. as well. Could T.J. be her forever man now? She was certain Frankie would approve. That was important to her.
They didn’t speak of it while he helped her into the shower. As he smoothed the lemon shower gel over her body and kissed the back of her neck, he didn’t speak of it. As she rubbed gel on his upper chest, down his shoulders, as she smoothed over his stiff cock, over his thighs, as she took him into her mouth, kneeling before him, while he palmed his way down her back to press fingers into her cleft and squeeze her buttocks, they didn’t speak of it.
When he took her from behind, pressing her carefully against the tiled surface of a shower stall barely big enough for both of them, as she wanted him more after his release than before they’d started, they didn’t speak of it.
Her connection to him was pliable yet solid. Not like rigid bands of steel. It was flexible. The golden threads connecting them grew with every contact of their bodies. The exploration was delicious, and still left her wanting more.
In the mirror she watched him drying her off with one of the white fluffy towels Frankie had bought. He wrapped it around her, put his face next to hers and stared back at her in the reflection. She loved seeing his face next to her own. She wore the blush on her cheeks from his stubble like a badge of honor, and was proud of how they were together, proud of how she felt and how her heart sang.
He was still stargazing at her.
“What?” she said as she turned to face him in the flesh.
“Marry me, Shannon.”
“Oh, my gosh, T.J. Don’t you think it’s too soon?”
“Too soon for what? Look at what we’ve been doing all afternoon.” He stopped her wandering gaze, raising her chin up so he could look at her straight on. “I’m serious as a heart attack, Shannon. Marry me. I won’t rest until you do.”
She loved his relentless attitude, the sure compassion of his voice, and his confidence in a future she was sure had been planned differently than it was presenting today. And she could see he wouldn’t give up until she said yes. This was far from a game for him. He wasn’t the same T.J. who had left on deployment two months ago. This was a man she could marry and live with her whole life.
“It would be my honor, T.J.” As soon as she said it, fear crept in, but T.J. was overjoyed.
“Get dressed. We’re going to go look at wedding rings.”
“No. Not today.”
“Yes, today. Today we tell everyone. Everyone. Your mom and dad, Joe and Gloria.
“You’re so silly. Are you sure?”
“Aren’t you sure, Shannon? Because if you’re not, best t
o tell me now. Just get it out there, and I’ll walk away.” He didn’t smile. She could see he wanted the reassurance, but didn’t want to make it too obvious.
“T.J., we had time together with Frankie’s dad. And now to call them and say we’re getting married, well, I don’t think it shows Frankie the respect he’s owed.”
T.J. got pensive. “Maybe you’re right. Frankie would want us to wait, to be sure. String it out for a year or two. He’d want us to wait until after the baby was born, maybe have you date a few other frogs to make sure you were making the right choice, that sort of thing.” His serious face showed not a hint of humor, but she knew him well enough to know he was just about to bust a gut.
She beamed up at him. “Have all those girls after you, have you dodging the frog hogs and high schoolers, sampling here and there,” she said as she reached for his cock and squeezed it. Her hands were on his thigh as she dropped her towel, went up on her tippy toes, and pressed her big belly into him. “All those lithe young bodies moaning under your strength. The girls you could tie up and cuff.”
T.J. stepped back out of her reach. “Whoa. Wait a minute. Somebody’s been talking out of school.”
“What do you think Frankie was doing after you described what you liked to do to your partners? I heard all about it.” She stepped to him and took his cock in her palms again. “And I expect—after the baby’s born, of course—for you to deliver. I’ve had a preview. I want the full fuckin’ feature.”
Holy shit. Did I just say that?
She realized then and there that things were back to normal in her life, if that was ever possible. She was starting to swear again.
Like a sailor.
Chapter Eleven
‡
T.J. NOTICED A marked change in Shannon when her mother came to visit. The woman was built so solidly, the guys used to call her the Iron Maiden, whispering it so Frankie didn’t hear, of course.
With one eyebrow raised, Mrs. Moore examined him like an ugly insect throwback in some nerd’s bug collection.
“Nice to see you, T.J. You been helping Shannon do some things around the house?”
He worked not to blush. It was something like that. He was hopefully helping her get her life back, look forward to something. But he could see in Mrs. Moore he’d hit a brick wall. She might have noticed his duffel bag and some clothes strewn across the bed, a surefire indication he’d spent some nights there, but Mrs. Moore was purposely ignoring them.
She kept her eye on him even as he went to the head to take a leak. When he came out, she stopped whispering to her daughter.
“So, T.J. who are you dating these days? Anyone Shannon or Frankie would know?” Her eyes registered the cold blooded demeanor of a lizard.
He checked Shannon’s line of sight and saw she wouldn’t look at him.
“I have my heart set on the right girl, whenever she’ll have me.”
Mrs. Moore leaned back and roared. Her brittle laughter tinkled like pieces of shattered glass. “My understanding is that you’ll probably have to forage somewhere outside of San Diego. I think you’ve bedded—”
“Mother, please.”
T.J. was glad Shannon had come to his defense, but a sense of unease and dread began to grow. He felt a sense of danger the more time these two women spent together. And he didn’t know why.
“I don’t think that is very polite, Mother. T.J. has been a great friend, helping Joe build a playhouse for Courtney. You really ought to see it. Very impressive.”
Mrs. Moore walked down the hallway to view the backyard from the master bedroom and shouted back, “You make a good carpenter, T.J. At least you could do that if the SEALs don’t work out for you.”
T.J. angled his head, looking for some sign from Shannon, but she shrugged and gave a puzzled expression in return. Mrs. Moore came back into the room.
“Well, I’m sure you have a lot better things to do than hang around a couple of old married women. I’m taking Shannon shopping. I’d invite you, but I think you’d be pretty miserable.”
He placed his palms in his jeans pockets and nodded for a bit before answering. “You’re quite right, Mrs. Moore. I’ll just get my things.”
“Why don’t you wait for us?” Shannon posed. “Maybe we could have dinner after I drop Mom off at the hotel?”
“And do what? Clean the house? Straighten your closets?” T.J. felt the scab had been picked and he couldn’t stop himself. He didn’t like that Shannon was excluding him. Mrs. Moore reminded him of some of the foster moms and state officials he’d known. They’d talk civilly but their hearts were black as coal. Being around her made him nervous.
Shannon was frowning when he stuffed the duffel with clothes from the bed. Throwing his shaving kit inside and zipped it up. With the canvas strap slung over his shoulder, he leaned over and gave Shannon a wet kiss on her cheek, daring her to grab him and demonstrate what she’d been showing him for the past several days and nights.
But unfortunately that wasn’t to be.
Fuck it. Definitely overdue for a bender.
HE WAS STILL cursing himself when he met Tyler at the Scupper later that evening. Tyler was trying to be helpful.
“So, she doesn’t like you. Shannon didn’t like you at first, either.”
“Tyler, I’m not going to fuckin’ have sex with Mrs. Moore to convince her I’m a nice guy. No, the bitch is made from body parts straight from hell.”
“Come on, T.J. Lighten up.” Tyler tried to punch him in the arm, but T.J. glared at him.
Tyler had the stones to wait until T.J. softened his eyes first. That was smart. Wait for the angry man to not debase himself and get things under control. Only jump in and call him out when it was getting into emergency mode. T.J. was glad he still had that control.
“I’m falling for her, Tyler.”
“Tell me something I don’t know.”
“Probably isn’t wise, but I am.”
“So, can you distance yourself?”
“Not and keep my promise to Frankie. I said I’d be there.”
“But not in his wife’s bed.”
“No he even said that too, in the end. Was the hardest thing I’ve ever heard. The guy knew he was dying and he made me promise—” T.J. didn’t want to show tears, so he squinted and looked to the side at the string of muscled men sitting up to the bar watching a basketball game.
“Grief does a lot of things to a man. You should talk to Nick about that one. Kate says Devon has her hands full sometimes at the winery, Sophia’s—you know.”
“Yeah, I know. I really miss that sonofabitch. Frankie would know what to say to cheer me up. I never realized how much he did for me.”
“I gotta ask you, man. What do you think Shannon wants?”
“Well, that’s the thing. I thought I knew. But now I’m not so sure. Maybe she was just lonely.”
“Hell, you both were lonely. Wouldn’t be the first or last time a SEAL widow took up with another SEAL, you know. Maybe even someone she wouldn’t have—”
That put T.J. over the edge. He’d been hit with the two by four called She’s only with you because she doesn’t have Frankie, and that smarted more than anything else he’d felt for months.
HE WASN’T IN good shape when Shannon called him. He was walking down the Strand, because he knew he shouldn’t be driving. He was so drunk, he couldn’t remember where his pickup was, anyway.
“I’ll come get you,” she whispered. In spite of his sour mood, his unit lurched, making him swear.
“What’s the matter?”
“I’m fine,” he argued.
“T.J., come on. This is me.”
He watched the steady stream of lights from passing traffic and decided he’d not take a chance to cross the road and run to the beach. It was dark. He was drunk and cold. He wanted to go home and fall asleep in his own bed.
“I’m not much good company tonight.”
“Don’t do this, T.J.”
He knew it
wasn’t wise, but he sat down on one of the concrete bus stop benches, leaned back and crossed his leg. “You think we did this all too fast, Shannon?”
He hated that she took a long time to answer.
“Can we talk about this in person?”
“You don’t want to be around me tonight, Shannon.”
“I don’t want to leave you this way.”
“What way?” He knew what she meant but he wouldn’t let go. He knew it was so unwise to even talk to her right now. But he couldn’t help himself. Just like Frankie and wanting to talk to the girls. He didn’t, but he couldn’t help himself.
“You’re drunk.”
“Well, la-dee-fuckin-da.”
“You’re an asshole.”
“Yes, darlin’ I am. I’m a fuckin’ asshole.”
“I’m coming to get you. Tell me where you are.”
HE RELUCTANTLY TOLD her and then fell asleep on the bench. Next thing he knew, he was being shaken by a policeman he’d had a run-in with a time or two. Shannon arrived just in time to place her very pregnant body between the official and T.J. before he could be arrested.
“It’s my fault, officer. I was late,” Shannon started. “I got held up and didn’t get here like I was supposed to.”
T.J. groaned at the lie. The policeman helped her get T.J. into her car after some fancy explanations from Shannon.
He knew she was angry with him when she didn’t say anything until they got nearly to her house. “So what brought all this on, T.J.?”
“Why didn’t you tell your mom?”
“Tell my mom what?”
He couldn’t believe he was hearing this. Did she forget already that she’d said she’d marry him? “You didn’t tell her about us, Shannon.” He saw pity in her eyes, exactly the thing he didn’t want to see.
“T.J. We need to talk.”
Yeah, holy fucking right we need to talk.
They arrived at the house, and Shannon parked the car in the garage. T.J. was struggling to get out on the passenger side when Shannon was suddenly there to help him up. He tried to push her arms away, but had to be careful, and in the end gave up and just let her guide him.
SEAL's Promise - Bad Boys of SEAL Team 3, Book 01 Page 6