“Laura is feeling concerned for Adam,” said Mrs. Winston quickly.
“I’m blind, Mother, not deaf, and I don’t need an interpreter.”
“Maybe we should go for a walk,” said Mrs. Winston, obviously uncomfortable with her daughter’s behavior.
“No, that’s okay,” said Mark. “If Laura has something to say to me, she might as well get it off her chest. It’s clear that she’s angry with me.”
“That’s right,” said Laura. “I am.”
“Why is that?” asked Mark in a tired voice. “Is it because I told Adam the truth? Because I’m tired of playing games with him?”
“You don’t even know him,” said Laura. “You don’t understand him at all. And, yes, I may be blind, but I see more than you do.”
“Laura!”
“He asked me, Mother.”
“But—”
“No, that’s all right,” said Mark patiently. “I’d like to know, Laura. What exactly is it that you think you can see in Adam? What is it that the rest of us are missing?”
“He’s in pain,” she told him. “He knew all along that you were going to cut him off like that. He knew that you never really cared.”
“I did care,” said Mark. “I do care, but how do you reach out to someone who keeps pushing you away?”
She folded her arms tightly across her chest and didn’t answer.
“Really, Laura, I’d like to know. Somehow, you seem to have made an impression on Adam. You two seem to understand each other. What would you suggest I do differently?”
“What does it matter now?” She turned away. “I want to go back to our room, Mother.”
Mrs. Winston seemed at a loss, but Alice looked her way with what she hoped was an encouraging smile. “It’s okay,” she told them both. “I think I understand why Laura is upset. You go on along. There’s something I need to explain to Mark.”
“Like he’ll listen to you or anyone for that matter,” snapped Laura as she and her mother exited the room.
“Wow.” Mark rubbed the cast on his arm with his good hand. “I knew she was upset with me last night, but I had no idea she was this angry. I don’t get it.”
“That’s what parents of teenagers say all the time,” said Alice with a rueful smile.
“I wonder if it’s possible to straighten this out with her.”
“Oh, I’m sure it is, but there’s something I’d like to tell you before you try.” Alice paused at the sound of footsteps in the living room and realized that the Langleys were about to come into the dining room.
“How would you feel about going out for breakfast so that we can talk?” asked Alice.
“I’d love to.”
“Okay,” she said quickly. “I’ll drive. Let me tell Jane.”
“Meet you at the car?” asked Mark as he got up.
“Yes. But do you mind if I have a quick word with Laura first?”
“Not at all. I wish you would.”
Alice explained her plans to Jane and Louise, who was helping Jane to prepare breakfast.
“No problem,” said Jane. “It’s about time you two got together and actually talked.”
“Thanks.”
“We were not trying to eavesdrop,” began Louise in a tentative voice, “but it was impossible not to overhear Laura’s outburst.”
“It wasn’t very nice,” said Alice, “but Laura is partially right. Mark doesn’t get the whole picture. I want to explain it to him.”
“Don’t be too hard on the poor guy,” said Jane as she washed some blueberries. “He’s been through a lot, you know.”
“That’s right.” Louise paused from her stirring. “To be fair, this is mostly Adam’s fault. He brought this onto himself.”
“I don’t think it’s really about anyone’s fault. It’s really a series of misunderstandings,” said Alice. “Before I leave, I want to speak with Laura. She was very upset.”
“That would be wise,” said Louise. “We can’t have our guests feeling miserable.”
“There goes our little peacemaker,” said Jane smiling fondly as she watched Alice leave the room.
Alice tapped gently on the Garden Room door. “It’s Alice,” she said.
“Oh, Alice,” said Mrs. Winston as she opened the door. “I’m so sorry about Laura’s—”
“Don’t apologize for me, Mother.”
“If it’s all right, I’d like to speak to Laura for a few minutes,” Alice said.
Laura approached the door. “Is Mark with you?” she asked cautiously.
“No,” Alice assured her, “it’s just me. Do you want to come out in the hallway for a moment?”
Laura reached out and Alice took her by the hand, leading her to the open area at the top of the stairs. “I completely understand how you feel about the trouble between Mark and Adam, Laura.”
“You do?”
“I do. I’ve wanted to explain some things to Mark myself, but I just never had the chance. I realize that Adam’s behavior is really his way of protecting himself, of preventing himself from being hurt again.”
Laura nodded eagerly. “Yes, that’s true. You do get it.”
“Mark and Adam have been gone so much. Then Mark broke his arm, and I was at my meeting last night. There just hasn’t been an opportunity to talk to him.” She sighed. “I feel that their disagreement is partly my fault.”
“No,” said Laura firmly. “It’s Mark’s fault. If you’d heard him last night, Alice, you’d agree. He never should’ve talked like that to Adam.”
“You know, Mark is generally very even tempered, but he was upset,” said Alice, “and I’m sure he was in pain. Then there was the effect of pain pills. Sometimes those pills cause people to let down their guard and say things they normally wouldn’t say.”
“Yeah, that’s what my parents said too, but I still don’t think it’s an excuse. Adam is in a really fragile place right now.”
“What do you mean?”
“He feels like he doesn’t have much to live for. And even though he was pushing Mark away, I know that he was really hoping that Mark would somehow prove to him that he wanted to be involved in Adam’s life. Kind of like a test. I think Adam was making Mark into his lifeline, but he wouldn’t tell him, you know?”
Alice considered this. “You know, Laura, we can’t expect another human being to be a lifeline. I mean it’s good to have friends and family to lean on, but the only real lifeline is God.”
Laura did not say anything.
“Even so,” Alice went on quickly, “Adam must know that Mark is really there for him.”
“But is he?”
“Of course.”
“How do you know that for sure?”
“Well, I guess maybe I don’t. But I’m going to spend some time with Mark this morning and I’ll try to find out.”
Laura sighed. “Well, I hope you knock some sense into that guy.”
“Oh, Mark is sensible, Laura. It’s just that he’s never been a parent. You have to admit that Adam has been a little challenging for everyone.”
“Hey, we’re kids, ya know. That’s what we do.” Laura was smiling as she spoke.
“I hope you and your parents will feel comfortable about going down to breakfast now,” said Alice. “I know that Jane and Louise are whipping up something special. If it helps to know, Mark and I are going out for breakfast.”
“All right then.” Laura nodded. “I’ll get my parents.” She smiled, and then added, “No use starving.”
Alice found Mark waiting by her car. She quickly unlocked the doors and started to open the passenger side for him.
“I’ve still got one good arm,” he told her.
“Sorry,” she said. “I guess it comes with nursing. I’m just used to taking care of people.”
“I didn’t mean to growl at you,” he said as he slid inside and then smiled sheepishly. “And to be honest, I’ll probably need some help with the safety belt.”
She reache
d across to grab the strap and fasten him in. Then, patting him on the head, she said, “Now, that’s a good boy.”
To her relief, he was actually smiling when she got inside. “You’re good medicine, Alice.”
“Thanks. I guess I chose the right profession.”
Alice turned the radio on to her favorite jazz station. She would not bring up the subject of Adam until they reached the Coffee Shop and were settled. She suspected that Mark welcomed this brief reprieve too.
“Hey there,” called Hope Collins, the Coffee Shop’s waitress, when they entered the restaurant. “How are you two doing?” Then she saw Mark’s arm. “Oh dear, what happened to you, Dr. Graves? Get into an arm wrestling match with a sick polar bear?”
He smiled. “Yeah, something like that.”
Alice quickly explained the climbing wall injury, and Hope nodded. “You know, I heard about that place and had actually been thinking about trying that out for myself, but now I might reconsider.”
“I think I was just getting overconfident,” admitted Mark as she led them to a table in the corner by the window. “I’d scaled it several times and done pretty well. Then Adam got the brilliant idea of timing ourselves to see who was faster.”
“Oh dear,” said Alice. “And you fell for that challenge?”
“Literally.”
This made all three of them laugh. Hope handed them menus and told them about the breakfast special of steak and eggs.
“That sounds great to me,” said Mark as he returned the menu.
Alice ordered a bowl of oatmeal with fresh fruit. Hope went back to the counter, but not without discreetly winking at Alice before she did.
Alice decided to get right to the point. She quickly told Mark about the touching scene she had witnessed between Adam and Laura. “It was so sweet, Mark,” she said. “He was really sharing his feelings with her, and she told him how much his friendship was helping her. It’s as if something amazing was beginning to happen.”
“Until I cut it short.”
“You can’t take all the blame, Mark. Adam was testing you in every way he could.”
“All because he didn’t think I’d stick by him?”
She nodded. “He said that everyone left him eventually. He blamed himself for it.”
“You know, he said something like that to me when we visited his parents’ graves. He said that he’d been acting like such a jerk that his parents might still have been angry when they had their accident—or something to that effect. Of course, I told him that was ridiculous and, to be honest, I didn’t even take him seriously. But now that I think about it, I wonder if he might actually be carrying a load of guilt about his parents’ death. People do that, you know.”
“Yes,” she agreed. “Guilt is one of the stages of grieving.”
“But how long does it last?”
“That depends on the person,” she told him. “Some people get stuck in a stage, and it takes a long time for them to move on.”
“Well, Adam certainly seems stuck.”
Hope brought their order, refilled Mark’s coffee cup and refreshed Alice’s hot water. “Just holler if you need anything else.”
They continued talking as they ate. Their topic was mainly about Adam. When they were finished, Mark seemed encouraged. Yet, at the same time, he seemed troubled.
“Are you feeling okay?” asked Alice after he paid the bill.
He shrugged as he struggled to replace his billfold into his pocket. Alice waited.
“Bye, you two,” called Hope as they went out the door.
“Is your arm hurting?” asked Alice when they reached the car.
“A little bit.” He frowned. “More than that, I’m feeling bad about Adam now. I really came on strong last night. I’m sure the accident took a toll on his emotions as well. And, if the truth be told, the Range Rover probably presented a big temptation to see what it could do.”
“Yes, I’m sure that I would barely keep from challenging other drivers to a race,” Alice joked.
Mark managed a smile.
“Seriously, Mark, I think you did what most people would do—especially if you consider your day and that you were under the influence of pain pills.”
“Maybe.” He opened the door of the car, then climbed in and waited patiently for Alice to buckle him in again.
“There you go,” she told him as she closed the door.
“Speaking of pain pills,” he said as she started the engine. “I think I’m overdue now. I got up quite early and took one before six.”
“Well, that’s more than four hours,” she noted. “We better get you home.”
“Thanks, doctor.”
“No problem, doctor.” She turned and grinned. “Then I would recommend you have a little rest. There is nothing like rest to help you mend.”
“Once again, I think you’re right.”
Chapter Twenty-One
Mark came back downstairs just before noon. “Feeling better?” asked Alice as she straightened the rug in the foyer, then stood up.
“Somewhat. At least I’m rested. But I’m feeling worse and worse about Adam. The idea of him and that kitten out there living in his car … well, let’s just say it’s not a happy thought. I have to go looking for him,” said Mark.
“Not with one arm, you can’t.”
He looked pleadingly at her. “Could I interest you in—”
“You couldn’t stop me if you wanted to.”
“How about if we take my rig?” said Mark. “I filled it with gas yesterday in Potterston.”
“Let me get a jacket,” she told him.
By the time Alice came back downstairs, Laura was in conversation with Mark and, to Alice’s relief, it seemed much more agreeable than the one earlier that day. Mark was asking if Laura had any idea where they should look for Adam.
“I wish I could be more help,” she told him.
“Don’t worry. You’ve already been helpful.”
“Do you want me to come too?” asked Laura. “In case I think of something.”
“You may if you’d like,” said Mark. “If your parents don’t mind.”
She considered this. “Well, maybe I better not. My mom was in touch with a relative who still lives near Acorn Hill.” She made a face. “We’re supposed to be going to her house for tea this afternoon. Like that should be fun.”
“You never know,” said Alice.
Laura turned toward Alice with a hopeful expression. “Dr. Graves said you are going to look for Adam now.”
“That’s right.”
“I wish I had some idea where he might be,” said Laura. “But when I went places with him, well, I didn’t really pay attention to where we went, you know.”
“That’s understandable,” said Mark.
“Well, good luck,” said Laura.
Alice and Mark headed out to his Range Rover. Dark clouds seemed to be gathering quickly, and Alice felt certain that they would be driving through a deluge before long.
“I told Laura that I realized what a complete fool I’d been, and I asked her to forgive me.”
“Did she?”
He nodded. “Of course. You know, she’s a sweet girl. She’s just going through her own hard times, and Adam was actually helping her to work through some things.”
“I know. Despite how things may appear, I think she made some real progress this week.”
“She said the reason she got angry was because she felt so sorry for Adam, and she is seriously worried about the kitten too. Naturally, she focused her anger on me. Not that I blame her.”
They started out looking for Adam’s beat-up car around town. “At least it should be easy to spot,” said Alice after they checked along the local main roads and parks. “But I’m guessing he’s not in Acorn Hill.”
“You’re right. Why don’t we check Potterston?”
It began raining as she got onto the highway. “This really is a nice vehicle,” she told Mark. “It feels very safe
in the rain.”
“Range Rovers are hard to beat,” he conceded. “I’ll admit they’re not cheap, but having been single all these years, well, I always gave myself permission to indulge in the best.”
Alice thought about what he had said. She, too, had been single, but she had not embraced that particular philosophy.
“I suppose that sounds selfish to you,” said Mark. “To be honest, it sounds a bit selfish to me now that I’ve verbalized it.”
“Oh well …”
“You know, the more I think about everything, well, the more I realize that I have led a fairly self-centered and self-indulgent life.” He exhaled loudly as he sadly shook his head. “And it’s not a very comfortable realization.”
“But think about all the animals you’ve helped.”
He laughed. “Yes, all my animal friends, what would they do without me?”
“Your work is important.”
He just turned and stared out the side window. “Important to me perhaps, but it was simply doing what I loved. Good grief, Alice, I did what I wanted, when I wanted, without ever considering anyone else.”
“Oh, now that’s probably an exaggeration.”
“I don’t think so. Consider that I was barely involved in my best friend’s life for the past ten years. And my own godson, Alice, look at the way I ignored that boy all this time.”
“But his parents were still alive.”
“Yes, but I should’ve remained a part of their lives.”
Alice didn’t know how to respond. On one hand, she agreed with Mark. Perhaps he had led a somewhat
self-centered life. On the other hand, doing what you like to do in life is a gift and not necessarily selfish. She had devoted much time and energy to her father’s ministry and to the church, but the truth was she had done it because it was what she had wanted to do with her life. It was not as if she had given anything up for it. In reality, she had only gained by giving. The people in her community had always respected her for her commitment to her father, and she had to admit that she liked that. In some ways, her lifestyle and choices could be considered just as selfish as Mark’s.
But when she tried to explain this to him, he simply laughed.
“Oh, Alice,” he said. “Dear, sweet Alice. I don’t believe you have a selfish bone in your body.”
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