Carth didn’t think it was her sense of the Hjan. It was only because of her other ability. Carth felt more and more certain of that.
A knock on the door startled her and she pulled it open, expecting Alison, hoping that she’d realized what she’d said and how it had affected Carth. Instead, she found Samis. Much like Alison, his gaze dropped to the sash and his eyes widened.
“You heard.”
He smiled, waiting for her to open the door for him. Reluctantly, Carth pulled it open and let him in. Samis would only force himself in otherwise, but at least now he didn’t outrank her. “I think the entire cosak heard, Rel. Congrats.”
Carth waited for some sarcastic comment, something that would be in line with what Alison had said, but he wore an earnest expression.
“Thanks.”
“Can’t say I’m surprised.”
“Why—because I can use the shadows? You think that’s the only reason I’d get raised to sai?”
Samis held his hands out to her, palms facing her. “Whoa! I don’t know what set you off, but I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know. I’ve sparred with you, Rel. I’ve seen how strong you are. You have talent. If you were any faster, you would have beat me the last time we sparred.” He managed to say it without making it sound like he was boasting. “I’m not surprised the Aren raised you.”
“It wasn’t the Aren,” Carth said.
“What? All the ashai go before the Aren before they’re elevated. The only other way you can be elevated is…” His breath caught. “Oh. No one has been raised that way in years.”
Carth swallowed. “I know the history.”
Samis nodded. “I suppose you do. So it was Master Invar?”
She ran her fingers along the scarf, tracing the smooth silk. “Invar,” she agreed.
“You know that he has never raised anyone before? The other masters have all had favorites they’ve raised, but not him. Maybe you’re his favorite now.”
She unsheathed the knife and showed it to Samis. She hadn’t any interest in sharing with Alison. “He did give me a knife,” she said.
Samis took the knife and traced his fingers over it. “Master Invar gave this to you?”
When she nodded, he whistled softly. A brief pulse of power came from him, enough for her to know that he used the knife to focus his potential. His eyes widened and he released the magic. “Wow. This is… this is an impressive blade, Rel. With something like this, you should be able to reach for your ability even faster.”
“That’s what Invar said.”
Samis looked up from studying the blade and handed it back over to her. “Didn’t work?”
She sighed. “Not like he had hoped. There’s something different about the way I use my magic. It’s not the focus, Samis, it’s me.”
Samis laughed and Carth shot him a hard look. He shrugged. “Of course it’s you. You have this ability with the shadows, one that’s not like what I can do. The mixture has to do something to your ability to reach the A’ras magic.”
Carth sighed, taking the knife back from him. Samis held on to it for a moment, flashing a smile as he did, before releasing it. Her other hand went to her mother’s ring she kept on a necklace, clutching it beneath her shirt. “I just wish it was easier for me.”
He laughed, and she found herself laughing along with him. “Of course you do, Rel. We all want it to be easier, but what’s worthwhile is never easy.”
She arched her brow at him. “Now you’re getting philosophical with me?”
“Naw, just something my father used to say. Of course, that was mostly when I told him I was scared about how hard it was going to be when I got here.”
“What do you mean, got here? You’re from Nyaesh. I’ve heard you say it.”
Samis shrugged. “I’m not from the city, Rel. My parents own land near the border with Holyth. I hadn’t been to the city until I came to study.”
“I don’t understand. How did you know you had the potential?”
“I didn’t think I would. The A’ras make a sweep through all the villages once a year looking for those with the potential. You make it to A’ras—and I don’t have any reason to think you won’t—you’ll probably have to make a pass as well. They came through looking for those with potential and found me. I… well, let’s just say I wasn’t all that excited at the time.”
“You didn’t want to come study with the A’ras?”
His face soured. “Didn’t you hear me say it was hard? My father owned land, we had servants, so I had an easy life, Rel. This… this is nothing like what I experienced.”
“But you’re so skilled!”
He shrugged again. “I never wanted to be skilled. I didn’t try when I first came here. That was before your time, so you wouldn’t have known, but I wasn’t always the best ashai student. The masters threatened to send me back nearly a dozen times. Back then, I wanted to return.”
Carth tried thinking of Samis as lazy. Since she’d come to study with the A’ras, he had been nothing but one of the hardest workers, and one of the best students. “What changed?”
“Me, I suppose. I had no choice but to change.”
“Why? Couldn’t you have gone back to your land and your servants and the easy way of life?”
“Maybe once, but Holyth claimed our land. Killed some of my father’s men. Nearly killed my family. I don’t have land I can go back to anymore.”
He fell silent, and Carth didn’t know what to say. “I’m sorry, Samis.”
Samis played with his hands, twisting his fingers together. “Worst part of all of this? I tell myself that, had I not been here, I could have helped. Then I tell myself that if I learn all I can, I can help my father claim his lands again, even when I know—I know—the A’ras won’t allow the magic to be used in that way. Wait… that wasn’t the worst part. No, that was hearing from a letter—and from my sister—that we’d lost our land. Our home. People who’d served the family for generations.”
He swallowed and took a shaky breath. “I shouldn’t be telling you any of this. I don’t want to burden you, Rel. I know you’ve been through your own shit.”
She sat on her bed and waited for him to sit next to her. “My mother was killed over five years ago. I thought the A’ras killed her and learned later that it was the Hjan. She… I was supposed to be with her, but I didn’t keep up.” It was the thing she didn’t dare share with anyone else, the fear that she should have been there, that there might have been something she could have done, even though she had known nothing of her abilities then. Had she been there, she would have died too. “My father… I don’t know what happened to him. I never saw him again. I heard them talking, though, and knew that they went after him. Had it not been for Vera…”
Samis took her hand, and she didn’t resist. She felt vulnerable and scared, but not because she shared with Samis.
“There are things we can’t change, Rel. All we can do is learn from the past and work on getting better for the future.”
“Still philosophical.”
“That was my father, too. That came in the letter from him. It was the only one he ever sent, and he sent it after my sister sent hers. I think he worried I’d try to come home.” He swallowed. “Since then, I’ve pushed myself. I want to get better, Rel. I want to do what I can to help. I can’t do that without pushing myself.”
He stared at his hands for a few minutes more before standing. “Anyway, I’m happy for you, Rel. That’s all I wanted to say.”
“Thanks.” What did it mean that the person most excited for her happened to be the boy she’d spent the last few years annoyed with? Why couldn’t her best friend bother to be happy for her and not make her feel worse about what she’d accomplished?
“The lessons get harder, but you start to learn more, too. You think being ashai is difficult, wait until you start some of your sai classes.” He smiled, pausing as he reached the door. “Have you gotten your assignment yet?”
She shook her head. “When should I expect it?”
“I don’t know. I got mine when the Aren promoted me. That this came from Master Invar… I don’t know. Maybe he’ll be the one to make the assignment. For your sake, you’d better hope so.”
“Why?”
“Not all assignments are the same. I got lucky, and they let me serve with Gabe and Ilyan. They’re both pretty decent to new sai. There are some who aren’t quite as decent.”
Carth hadn’t even considered who she might be assigned to patrol with. She’d been so focused on the fact that she’d been granted the promotion that she hadn’t stopped to think about what it meant when she actually got to the patrolling.
“I guess you better hope Master Invar chooses.”
As he closed the door behind him, Carth wondered what sort of assignment she might get.
19
Her assignment came late the next day, leaving Carth wondering through much of the day if she wouldn’t get assigned at all for some reason. There was a terrible period where she wondered if Invar had made a mistake, and imagined what the other ashai’s response would be if she had to sulk back into the classes. It had been bad enough going back to the ashai classes when Master Invar had disappeared, but for her to be elevated, only to have that taken from her… That would be worse.
Trista delivered the assignment, summoning Carth to the north part of the yard and waiting with the compact man who had helped her bring Invar into the palace. Carth had wondered why she’d been summoned, but she had been careful to put her wider sash on when she left the cosak, not wanting to cause any more gossip than she already did.
“Rel,” Trista said sharply when she appeared. “You’ve been assigned to patrol with Devn and myself.”
The assignment wasn’t nearly as bad as what she’d worked herself into believing. She’d known Trista and knew her to be reasonable, and while she didn’t know Devn, the fact that he worked with Trista made it more likely he would at least be decent.
She smiled, but the smile faded as Trista stared at her. “I don’t know what Invar thought, raising you the way he did,” Trista said, “but if you think you can talk to me the way you did that day you brought him back to the palace, you’re going to find this is an unpleasant assignment.”
A flush rolled through her. She hadn’t thought it was going to be easy, but she wanted a chance. That was all. “Of course. I’m here to do whatever is needed.”
Trista glanced over at Devn. “Hear that, Devn? Whatever is needed.”
He shrugged. “We’ll see.”
“You follow us. Don’t say anything, you get that? You’re sai. That means you don’t talk. Observe. Stay ready. That’s it.”
Carth nodded, unprepared for the hostility from Trista, who led them to the gate, guiding them into the city. Carth reached for her connection to the A’ras magic, tearing it through her veins so that she would be ready for whatever might come. She didn’t have to do anything with it, only hold on to it, keep it burning within her at a low level. For now, that was enough.
When she crossed through the gate, Carth immediately reached for the shadows as well. She held on to this, mixing it with her steadily burning connection to the A’ras, and let it fill her. Strangely, the sense of shadows restored her, whereas using the A’ras magic did nothing but make her tired.
Trista and Devn spoke softly to each other as they marched into the city. Much as people had with Invar, they parted around Trista and Devn, though it seemed like that had as much to do with the fact that they so openly wore their sashes, almost as if making a point of showing that they were A’ras.
They weaved in a circle around the palace before starting on another circle. By the third, Carth couldn’t stand it anymore and spoke up. “Are we assigned to make circles?”
Devn glanced at her and looked away, but Trista glared openly. “I thought I told you that you weren’t to challenge me. Wasn’t that the deal, Devn?”
“That was what you said, Trista.”
“See? That’s what I said. We’re on patrol. The A’ras guide the patrol, and not the sai. If you think you want to lead, then you’ll have to wait until you can convince one of the masters to raise you to A’ras, though that is a little harder to convince them of.”
“I didn’t ask him to raise me.”
Trista leaned toward her. “Did you want to argue with me, Rel?”
Arguing wouldn’t get her anywhere and might even lead to her getting reassigned. She didn’t want that, but she didn’t want to be treated like this, either. “Not argue. I only wondered if there was a reason we’re wandering in circles.”
“Do you think you know the city better than us? You’ve barely been raised from ashai. All that time behind the walls make you think you somehow know the city better than you do?”
Carth bit back the retort that came to mind. She might know the city as well as Trista. The time she’d spent collecting scraps had allowed her the chance to wander, and she’d discovered places in the city that she doubted any of the A’ras knew. They were places where the A’ras wouldn’t be allowed—her now as well.
“I’ll follow wherever you want to go,” she said, forcing meekness into her voice.
Trista stared at her a moment, her hand gripping her knife as if she wanted Carth to challenge her, before turning back to Devn and starting along the street. She didn’t say anything more to Carth, dismissing her.
They continued to make slow spirals through the city, steadily moving farther from the palace and the yard. Carth held on to the A’ras magic, but also to the shadows flowing around her, hoping she didn’t detect anything that would make her think the Hjan had returned. Trista wouldn’t take well to that.
By the time they reached a small square—one that reminded Carth of her mother’s death—she had given up on the idea that they would find anything. And maybe that was what patrols were all about. That was something she really should have asked Samis about when he had been willing to discuss the assignments.
Trista stopped, pulled a bottle of water out from beneath her robe, and took a long sip of it. Devn did the same. Carth hadn’t known to bring water—and hadn’t brought any food, either—so stood watching.
As she did, she noticed a strange humming. It started slowly, building steadily until it was unmistakable. She watched Trista and Devn, but neither gave any sign that they detected it.
After a while, she couldn’t take it anymore. “What is that?” she asked.
Devn turned to her, but Trista was the one who answered. “What are you talking about, Rel?”
“The buzzing sound. Don’t you hear it?”
Trista and Devn met each other’s eyes and grinned. “Already?” Devn asked.
“Already what?” Carth asked, stepping toward them. She grew tired of them ignoring her, or treating her like she couldn’t ask questions. How else was she going to learn what was expected of her?
“Not surprised that it happened so soon,” Trista said. “Think about what she claims happened to Master Invar.”
“Invar’s been getting senile. The others know it, but they allow him to remain because of what he’s done for the A’ras.”
“This might be the worst of it,” Trista went on. “The man has never raised any to sai and now he chooses her?”
Devn shrugged. “The right of the masters, I suppose. Doesn’t mean she’ll make it to A’ras.”
Carth stepped forward, and the sound shifted.
It didn’t come from all around any longer; now there was a direction to it. East.
Toward the palace.
Carth turned and started toward it. The buzzing wasn’t a steady sound, as she had first believed. This came with a sort of fluctuating sense and wasn’t so much a sound as a feeling, much like she felt A’ras magic when used, only this wasn’t painful.
“Rel?” Trista asked.
The sound shifted again. Carth didn’t want to answer and risk losing the connection to the sound. She wen
t into an alley, leaving the square.
“Rel!”
Carth knew she should go back, but what if this was some new trick of the Hjan?
She started running, focusing on the sense of the buzzing as she did and losing the connection to the A’ras magic. Rather than trying to regain it, she shifted that minimal attention to the shadows and, without really meaning to, cloaked herself in them.
The buzzing continued, but cloaked as she was, it became easier for her to focus on the buzzing, and now it practically vibrated within her.
Carth hurried faster. She’d never felt anything like this before. Could it be the Hjan?
Invar suspected they were after something, but he hadn’t shared with her what he feared. She wasn’t even A’ras, but didn’t she deserve a little more information, especially considering all she’d done to stop the Hjan so far?
At the wall, she expected to find damage, or begin feeling the distinctive nausea that came from the Hjan, but there was nothing, only the steady buzzing.
Carth drifted along the wall, holding on to the shadows, holding on to the cloak, worried she might find one of the Hjan and be unprepared.
She found nothing.
Carth slipped forward and touched the wall. Had it always vibrated like it did now?
No—that was new. Not A’ras, though. And not Hjan.
What was it?
Another attack.
Carth ran around the perimeter of the palace wall, maintaining her hold on the shadows and touching her fingers to the wall as she did. The vibration remained. At the damaged sections, she actually felt it more acutely, as if whatever caused the vibration remained within the stone. She wasn’t able to determine if it weakened the walls.
Reaching her starting place, she almost jumped the wall to return and try to find Invar when another sense came to her.
It wasn’t only the wall that carried with it the vibration.
Shadow Cursed (The Shadow Accords Book 2) Page 14