The police took custody of the Sardar from the crowd, and Mergan sat beside Zabihollah. The Sardar tossed his walking stick to one side as he approached the Jeep, getting into it. One officer remained with him, and the other came over to Zabihollah to take him away. The men picked up Zabihollah and carried him to the car. One officer sat between the men. There was fire in the Sardar’s eyes, while Zabihollah’s face was chalk white.
“Why’d you hit me, man?”
“Why’d you throw my camel in the well?”
“Me? No! No! Not me! I had come to cover the well, when … Oh … People! Come help me!”
The Sardar had tried to jump from the car, but the rifle of one of the officers was against his chest in a flash.
“Sit down. Where do you think you’re going?”
The other officials also got into the Jeep and the automobile set off.
Zabihollah asked painfully, “So, sir, what happened? What have you decided?”
One inspector replied, “You’ll need to change the position of the water pump!”
“What?!”
The Sardar’s camels were scattered around the field and he could see each of them, whether close or far, from the Jeep’s windows as it drove off. Two of his camels were standing near the drain for the water pump, and Karbalai Doshanbeh was standing by one of the animals, watching it drink from the water. The Jeep stopped beside the pump, and one of the inspectors and one of the policemen got out, walked over the pump, and shut the machine off. A moment later, as Karbalai Doshanbeh watched them in shock, they reentered the Jeep.
“We’ve signed and sealed it!”
Karbalai Doshanbeh walked a few steps toward the Jeep and then stood aghast in the dust that rose from the wheels as it drove off.
The two camels had stopped their drinking of the water and were looking at him. He turned and faced the animals, then sat by the pump drain grumbling.
“Imagine that I was planning to be the caretaker of the pump! Isn’t it a shame? Isn’t this clear water a shame? It was pure enough for your ablutions! Why did they shut it down? Working here saved me from that hovel, that shed! I spit on this life and the next!”
“Get up, Papa! Get up. They’re ruining our means of living!”
It was Salar Abdullah who had reached the water pump along with the crowd of partners and shareholders in the machine.
“Get up, Papa! Our property’s gone and turned to smoke!”
Karbalai Doshanbeh looked at his son. If there were a word to describe crying without tears, one would use it to describe Salar Abdullah.
“You see them? They’re going to get a rope to pull the camel out of the well. Two of them have gone to get a well digger. They won, Papa! You see them?”
Karbalai Doshanbeh rose, shaded his eyes with one hand, and looked. A group of men were walking from the edge of the well toward the village. They had shovels on their shoulders as they walked. Another group was also approaching, scattered as they were. The shareholders in the water pump were walking scattered through the field like the Sardar’s camels. Karbalai Doshanbeh lifted his hand from his eyes and said, “No! They’ve not won. They’ll never get that camel out from the bottom of the well. No way! Are they taking Zabihollah to town, then?”
“They’re taking him and his broken bones to town. Go get your torn blanket and let’s leave.”
“No! No, I’ll stay here. I’ll stay right here!”
Karbalai Doshanbeh said this and went into the shed housing the pump’s motor and shut the door behind himself.
He grumbled to himself, “I’m staying. I’ll stay here. I have nothing left to return to Zaminej for.”
The group reached the pump one by one, gathering around the drain. They sat around it as if they were at a mourning ceremony. The trickle of water from the drain pained their eyes.
Molla Aman, Morad, Mergan, Hajj Salem, and Moslem were in the midst of the group. Moslem went to stand in the shade of the wall of the pump housing. He removed his clothes one by one and ran naked toward the drain pool, throwing himself into the water.
Hajj Salem looked at those gathered in exasperation. “You see that beast?”
Mergan turned and set back out toward Zaminej. Morad and Molla Aman also set out following her. They were silent and didn’t look around as they walked.
* * *
Abrau had fallen asleep by the tractor. Mergan didn’t have the heart to wake her son up. Morad sat down in the shade of the tractor and waited, as Mergan and Molla Aman walked away across the graveyard. Mergan looked at her brother. Molla Aman turned his head and averted his eyes from hers. Mergan asked him, “It wasn’t your doing?”
“What? What wasn’t my doing?”
“You were out until the middle of the night last night! This all wasn’t your doing?”
“What are you talking about? What wasn’t my doing?”
“The camel! Did you throw the camel into the well?!”
“You’re crazy! Sister, you’re insane!”
Molla Aman didn’t continue. He turned to go toward Karbalai Doshanbeh’s home and said, “I’m going to try to find a bit of hay to give to my donkey! And maybe a bit of water!”
Mergan didn’t watch him as he left, and she set out walking on her own path.
Raghiyeh wasn’t in the alley any longer. Mergan looked into Ali Genav’s home. Her daughter was sitting by the mortar and was grinding something inside it. Hajer’s pregnancy was now showing. Mergan entered and stood before Hajer beside the mortar.
“What are you grinding?”
“Some herbs. Ali brought it for me from town. He also brought some other bits and pieces. Some herbal flowers also. He’s so happy! Nothing’s happened and he’s already brought back some leather for me to make his son a vest! His son! Ha!”
“Good … Good … Hajer!”
Hajer raised her hand from the pestle and looked at her mother.
“Yes?”
Mergan took the pestle in her hand and busied herself grinding the herbs in the mortar. She was about to say something, but before she could open her mouth, Ali Genav came barreling into the room.
“Where are the ropes? Where? I had put them here somewhere!”
Hajer asked, “What do you want the ropes for?”
“We need to gather all the rope we have in the village and tie it together. It’s not a baby goat that’s fallen into the well!”
He looked for the ropes, finding them in the pantry. He didn’t say anything to Mergan. He tossed the coil of rope around his shoulder, and as he left he said, “The baths need water. Cattle need water. Crops need water. We can’t live without water!”
He went to the alley, and silence once again spread its blanket inside the house.
Mergan quietly continued to grind the herbs in the mortar with the pestle.
Hajer asked, “What’s happened?”
Instead of replying to the question, Mergan said, “We’re leaving.”
“Where?”
“We’re going out to the province where your father’s been seen.”
“All of you?”
“All of us? I don’t know!”
“Will you come back?”
“I don’t know.”
“What about me, then?”
“You … you have a house and a life here. You have a husband. Now that you’ll be bringing him a child, he’ll love you more. What are you worried about?”
Hajer was shocked into silence. Then she said, “But if you go, who will I have? If I need some help, who will be there? Who’ll cut the umbilical cord for my newborn baby?”
Mergan couldn’t give in to the compassion she felt in her heart. She said, “You’ll have people here. Someone will help you. I’ve not done anything bad to these people. They won’t refuse to help my daughter!”
Hajer’s lips began to tremble. Mergan couldn’t let herself be affected by her daughter’s tears. She rose and changed the subject. “You have a rash on your face!”
Hajer
replied with a broken voice.
“That’s exactly what I’m worried about. Some of the neighbors are saying having a rash is a sign of the child being a girl!”
Mergan had heard this said as well. But she didn’t want to worry her daughter. She raised her head and said, “Let them say what they want! Are they in touch with God?”
She couldn’t take it. She turned, leaving Hajer sitting beside the mortar, and left.
Raghiyeh was sitting by the clay oven in the yard of Mergan’s house, knitting a small shirt, something for Hajer’s child. Abbas was sitting next to her on his knees, with his crutch close by. He was counting his coins out separately and was putting the coins he had counted back into the purse that hung from his neck. Mergan untied the remainder of the bread that she had kept tied into her chador, set it by the oven, and went inside. She didn’t usually spend very much time with Abbas and Raghiyeh. She knew that they did not enjoy her company. Ali Genav didn’t much concern himself with their relationship either. This was because it was well accepted in the village that Abbas was burnt out, such that he was not considered a man. This was due to both his inner and outer self. He’d not grown a beard; his voice was still high and thin. His mannerisms were androgynous and he was uninterested in women; he never spoke of them. He didn’t have a fancy for anyone at all. He never joked about such things. It wasn’t as if he had even an interest in female donkeys! And overall, there was no sign of the usual desire and impudence of a young man within him. All this indicated to the people of the village that Abbas was burnt out. And Mergan knew this more completely than anyone.
Raghiyeh’s fate was not much better than Abbas’. She was a bundle of sad bones, with a voice that rose only with great difficulty, with a curse close at hand. She was a creature who seemed to emit only curses and complaints. Raghiyeh the nag! That was the name that some had mockingly given her. So there was nothing to worry about: let the two sterile freaks keep each other company.
“So add it up again. Two two-qeran coins make four qerans. So we have four here!”
Raghiyeh held up four fingers separated widely.
“That’s four qerans.”
“Here are three five-qeran coins; so that’s fifteen!”
Raghiyeh repeated, “Fifteen qerans.”
“Add those together, and we have … nineteen qerans!”
Raghiyeh added, “So we’re twenty-one qerans short.”
And here we have twenty-five ten-shahis, which makes … Let me put them in pairs together. Here! One, two, three … It’s twelve qerans and ten shahis. So, add this twelve qeran and ten shahis to the other nineteen qerans, we have … Let’s see! Ten over the nineteen becomes twenty-nine qerans.”
Raghiyeh said, “Thirty, minus one qeran.”
“And over here I still have the two and a half qerans. I’ll put one with the twenty-nine; that’ll make thirty. So what’s that in total?”
“Thirty qerans, plus an extra one qeran and a half.”
“Okay, so here! These thirty shahis are for you.”
Raghiyeh took the three ten-shahi coins from the ground.
“So how much do you have there?”
“Thirty qerans all together!”
“Good. Thirty.”
Abbas said, “Now hand over the bread so we can eat it. I nearly killed myself to collect this much money. And in the old days I’d see a thousand qerans blow away in the wind!”
Raghiyeh brought the piece of bread that Mergan had left on the oven for them and set it before Abbas.
“Do you want me to take these thirty shahis and buy yogurt or molasses for us to put on the bread?”
Abbas filled his mouth with a bit of bread.
“No, no. That’s for you to keep. Go buy tobacco for yourself. God’s already prepared the bread for us. We’ll eat it as it is. So eat! We need to be frugal to be able to get what we want. Everyone’s leaving!”
“You mean Mergan?”
“Mergan and her son! They’re not infirm or tied to anything. I’ll take over the house. And I know what to do with it. A shop! I’ll sell so much during the winters that I’ll be able to earn a living for us for the whole year.”
“What kind of shop, exactly?”
“I’ll begin by having gambling circles here. Then, maybe I’ll have the stables fixed up and cleaned and put a grocery shop in it. If you’re here, we’ll run it together. If Mirza Hassan’s tractor is working, we can load it with a few large sacks of flour that I can sell here to the locals in small quantities. Or perhaps we can rent Ali Genav’s donkey. But we need to be able to make a living for ourselves. It’s a shame neither of us has any use for our limbs! Otherwise we could start a bakery as well. But for now we’ll just have to bring small wares and junk from town and just line them along the wall.”
Raghiyeh said, “Let’s see what’ll happen! If this bastard has a bit of mercy and agrees to a divorce, then I’ll be free.”
“You need to come to an agreement with him so that you will give up your claim to the dowry you’re due. But if only he doesn’t come around here in a few weeks trying to claim that his wife, Hajer, has a stake in these four walls as well! You understand? You have to pin him down. Ali Genav’s a cunning man!”
Raghiyeh said, “I know him well enough. But I doubt he’ll object to the divorce. He’s actually waiting for me to suggest it. But one thing!”
“What thing?”
“I want to have an opium cafe. You know how much income that brings in? Look at Sanam! She’s free and doesn’t need anyone!”
Abbas tied the string to his change purse and carefully placed it beneath his shirt, then said, “It’s not a bad idea. I’d not thought of it before!”
Raghiyeh put a piece of bread in her mouth, rose, and said, “I should go then! It’s dusk. Maybe I can go and lend a hand to your sister. She’s in the last month. Why do my bones hurt so much?”
Abbas also rose and slid over to the edge of the oven, lighting a cigarette. The sun was fading behind the rooftop.
Mergan came out with two cups of tea and brought them over to the oven.
“I’d just poured her a cup of tea!”
Abbas exhaled the smoke from his nostrils, saying, “She left!”
Mergan placed the teacup before Abbas and remained standing there.
Mother and son both had sealed lips. Abbas smoked his cigarette, and Mergan trained her eyes on the edge of the roof. They both knew they had to speak to each other, and they knew the subject as well. But neither was able to initiate the discussion.
Abbas tossed the end of his cigarette into the oven and took a cup of tea, sipping it softly. Mergan sat down by the oven and put her back to its outer wall. Now they didn’t have to look at one another. Abbas was on one side, and Mergan faced the other. Mergan, in the shadows of the dusk, put one hand under her chin and sat there. Abbas was sitting upright, with his long drawn face and wavy white head of hair, staring into nothingness.
“So what are you planning to do, Abbas?”
“What do you mean, what am I planning to do?”
“Are you staying or coming with us?”
“I’m staying.”
Mergan couldn’t bear it any longer. She rose and stood face-to-face with her son.
“I don’t know what I’m supposed to say to you! If I told you to come with us, I don’t know what would happen. But if I say stay, I still don’t know what would happen to you! I feel cold, hot, wet, and dry. My heart’s uneasy. On one hand, I see that your brother, who is now our breadwinner, isn’t happy and can’t work here any longer. He’s become used to a kind of work that he can’t do here. On the other hand, in whose hands am I to leave you here if I go? At the same time, I’m hearing news about your father. Oh God! This son, that daughter, that son, my husband, myself. Oh God! Why are we all splitting apart? I don’t understand it at all! I feel like I can see what has happened, but I can’t understand it at all!”
Abbas said, “You have a right. You miss your man!”<
br />
“No! Don’t make those heartless insinuations! That’s not all. My heart’s been torn into pieces! Each of you … I feel each limb’s been pulled in a different direction. And then nailed down!”
Abbas replied, “You’re going to go looking for a man who left us disgracefully. He’s dishonorable!”
“You’re calling him dishonorable? No! If among all those who have left, one of them were to be called honorable, that would be your father, Soluch! Many others left and were never heard from. But not with your father …”
“Very well, it really doesn’t matter to me either way. I’m not trying to stop anyone. I didn’t try to stop him, and I won’t try to stop you. Go then! Go, and farewell!”
Mergan was hurt. She said, “I don’t want you to speak that way, to tell me to go and farewell! It’s not the pilgrimage to Mecca I’m going on. Where I’m going is no heaven. I don’t even know where it is! They say he’s in the mines. But I don’t even know where they are! I just know that I should go. It’s not in my own hands. In fact, it’s more like I’m being taken. But my heart breaks when you … It’s as if you think I’m going to the garden of paradise that you’re so cruel to me! Oh God! God, why are you tearing me apart like this?”
Abbas picked up a half-smoked cigarette and said, “There’s no need for you to beat your chest like this for me. Just go! I’ve not said anything to you, have I? So, just go!”
“Go! Yes, I’ll go! But I don’t want to go with your tears and curses following me. I don’t want to be hurt by you more than I already am.”
Abbas said, “If you don’t want my tears following you, just don’t forget about me!”
“Of course I’ll not forget about you! How am I supposed to forget about my own son?”
“I don’t mean you should sit and cry in my absence!”
Missing Soluch Page 39