by Claire Adams
“Is it?” I asked. “This is only my second time in California, so I wouldn’t know.”
“No, dear, I wouldn’t expect you to,” she said.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Dirk’s hands tighten on his knees. I wrapped my arm around Josie’s shoulders and fixed Eloise with a sickeningly sweet smile.
“I’ll just have to trust you then, Eloise,” I said. “Maybe you have some suggestions for Josie?”
“My suggestion for Josie would have been for her to stay at the hotel,” she said without hesitation. “Le George is not the place for a child so young.”
“Well, Josie is quite mature for her age.” I was doing my best to keep the anger out of my voice. “I’m sure she’ll do just fine.”
Josie was staring at the floor of the limo, making her look even younger. A protective instinct I didn’t even know I had reared up inside of me. I wanted nothing more than to reach over and throttle the other woman for causing Josie any sort of embarrassment. After all, it was Eloise who should have been embarrassed by her behavior.
Dirk and Stan fell into an easy conversation as the limo drove on. They discussed business and their colleagues, laughing every so often. I listened to them without taking in their words. Dirk’s hands had finally relaxed. It seemed his anxiety was centered around Eloise, not Stan. With her remaining perfectly silent, everyone visibly relaxed.
“I think I’ll have steak,” Josie said softly. Her voice was barely above a whisper.
“Steak sounds great,” I said, just as softly. “Your dad said filet mignon is your favorite.”
She nodded enthusiastically, making me laugh. She truly was mature for her age. I’d never heard of a three-year-old craving a nice juicy steak. I expected her to ask about pizza or maybe macaroni and cheese.
When we pulled up outside of the restaurant, it was glaringly obvious that Le George was not the sort of place to have pizza or macaroni and cheese on the menu.
The building was large and ornate with black-tinted windows that added an air of mystery to the scene. We couldn’t see the beach from the parking lot, but I hoped we’d be seated somewhere with a view.
Stanley slid out of the limo first, extending his hand back to his wife. Dirk followed close behind, turning to help both Josie and myself. I smiled at him gratefully and squeezed his hand. While he looked more relaxed, there were still worry lines etched across his forehead.
“It’s just dinner,” I whispered to him. “Nothing to worry about.”
Dirk’s smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. There was something more going on beneath the surface, something that had nothing to do with our dinner companions. I frowned, but didn’t question him. Instead, I let him lead me through the open door of Le George.
We stepped up to the hostess stand, where Stan gave them his name.
“A back table would be preferable,” Eloise said, with authority. “Something with privacy.”
“Or perhaps something with a view of the beach,” I said. My voice was louder than I intended, but I didn’t flinch. “That way Josie could have something to enjoy during dinner.”
“That would be wonderful,” Stan agreed with a smile.
The hostess nodded and led the way around the corner. We stepped into a beautifully-lit dining room that practically sparkled with elegance. It was breathtaking. I could barely stop myself from spinning around to take it all in.
“Here you are,” the hostess said.
We all sat down as she handed out the menus. When she placed Josie’s on the table in front of her, she looked at Dirk with an apologetic smile.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “We don’t have a children’s menu.”
“That’s okay,” he said. “She’ll find something.”
The hostess nodded and hurried back to her stand. As I picked up my menu, I chanced a glance at Eloise. She was opening glaring at me from across the table. I’d spoiled her plans for the evening, both by defending Josie in the limo and by rejecting her table choice.
I was flooded with a horrible sense of satisfaction as she continued to glare. This woman needed to be taken down a few pegs, and I was more than happy to handle it. But, when I saw Dirk looking from me to Eloise with nervous eyes, I knew it wasn’t the time to be myself.
Eloise, for better or worse, was hosting me on this little trip. She was Stanley’s wife and a good friend of Dirk’s. I couldn’t allow my own personal opinions to stand in the way of doing my job. Dirk was counting on me.
“Eloise,” I said brightly, “tell me all about your life back in New York. I’m sure it’s so much more fascinating than my own.”
“Oh goodness,” she cooed. “I wouldn’t even know where to begin.”
That didn’t stop her from talking my ear off for the better part of the evening. Still, I preferred her obnoxious boasting to her criticisms of Josie. When she wasn’t telling me all about the prestigious events she hosted back in the city, she was sneering at Josie for simply existing.
“I know Dirk just adores her,” Eloise whispered to me. “And I do, as well. I mean, I’ve known Josie since the day she was born. Amelia was so excited to finally have a child. It was such a beautiful day. But Dirk takes things a bit overboard where his daughter is concerned.”
“Does he?” I asked, not wanting to hear the answer.
Eloise nodded and leaned closer to me as if we were in on some secret the rest of the table couldn’t be privy to.
“He’s always dragging her along with him,” she said. “She’s just a little girl. She should be at home, playing with dolls and focusing on her studies. A trip like this? It just isn’t appropriate for a child so young. When Stan said Dirk was bringing her, ugh, I cannot tell you how upset I was.”
“She seems to be enjoying herself,” I said, through clenched teeth.
“Well, of course, she is,” Eloise said, with a dark laugh. “Who wouldn’t? Still, she shouldn’t be here. She should be at home. With a nanny, a mother-type figure, someone who can provide the maternal nurturing she so desperately needs. Try as he might, Dirk is not a mother. He can’t possibly know what it takes to properly care for a child.”
That was all I could take. I smiled politely at Eloise and excused myself to use the restroom. Josie jumped to her feet quickly.
“Can I come, too?” she asked, practically begging.
“Dirk?” I asked. He nodded, so I took Josie’s hand and led her quickly toward the back of the restaurant.
On our way back to the table, we stopped by one of the windows to look outside. The beach was aglo with bright flashing lights. Josie giggled to herself as we watched.
“Look,” I said, pointing down the beach. “It looks like an event or something. That’s definitely a Ferris wheel.”
“Wow!” she said with wide eyes.
“Excuse me,” I said to a passing waiter. “Could you tell me what’s going on down the beach? Is it a carnival or something?”
“That’s for kid’s night,” the waiter said. “They have it every month. Rides and games. It’s pretty fun.”
“Thank you,” I said. When I turned back to Josie, she was still staring out at the beach with wide, excited eyes. “Come on. Let’s get back to the table.”
She nodded and followed me, but I could tell she wasn’t happy. I didn’t blame her. The second we took our seats again, Eloise started in on Josie.
“We ordered you the filet mignon, and you’ve barely eaten a bite,” Eloise said, gesturing toward Josie’s plate.
“It was bigger than I thought it would be,” she said softly.
“She’s eaten a bit,” I said, defensively. “She’s only a little girl, after all. We can’t expect her to finish it.”
“Then she shouldn’t have ordered it.” Eloise’s tone was the last straw. I bit my tongue and turned slowly to face Dirk.
“Would you mind if I took Josie down to the beach for a minute?” I asked. “There’s a children’s carnival going on, and I think she’d really enjoy it.
”
“Oh yes!” Josie squealed. “Please, can I?”
“Of course,” Dirk said with a laugh. He smiled at me gratefully as I helped Josie back to her feet.
“Don’t you want dessert?” Stan asked. “They have the most amazing crème brûlée.”
“Maybe when we get back,” I said simply. Stan nodded, but Eloise’s glare had returned with full force.
“Daddy,” Josie said. “Will you come with us?”
He looked from Josie’s eager face to mine and then over to Stan and Eloise. I could tell how conflicted he was.
“I’ll meet you down there soon,” he said.
“Okay.” Josie kissed his cheek and hurried toward the doors. I smiled around the table one last time before following her. By the time we made it to the beach, I felt a thousand times more relaxed. Just being in the fresh air was enough to calm my nerves.
“Are you excited?” I asked Josie. “I bet they have cotton candy.”
“What’s that?”
“Oh my gosh,” I said. “You’ve never had cotton candy?”
I played up the dramatics to make Josie even more excited. When I bought her the cotton candy, her eyes lit up with joy. After one bite, she was jumping around and squealing. I laughed at the sight and led her through the carnival. It was nice to see her act like a little girl, instead of a mini adult.
“This is so much better than Le George,” Josie said softly.
“You didn’t like that place much, huh?”
“The steak was really good,” Josie said. “But, it was too big. I couldn’t eat it all.”
“Well, you had to save room for the cotton candy,” I said.
Chapter Thirteen
Dirk
“Josie,” I whispered in her ear. “Sweetie, wake up.”
Josie grumbled softly and stretched out her tiny limbs. When her eyelids finally fluttered open, she smiled brightly and sat up.
“Is it morning?”
I nodded. “Let’s take a walk on the beach.”
“Okay!” She jumped out of bed and quickly ran to get herself dressed. When she returned, she was wearing a purple sundress and a white sweater. There were times when she still looked like a baby, but that morning, she’d never looked more grown up.
“You’re getting so big,” I said, as we made our way outside. “Sometimes I wish you would stop growing.”
“I can’t do that,” she said, seriously. “I don’t want to be little forever.”
“Why not? Being little is the best. You don’t have to work, and you can play all the time.”
“Miss Eloise says I’m too little to be here,” she said without hesitation.
“To be where?” I asked, frowning deeply.
“On the trip.” Josie shrugged. “I don’t think I was supposed to hear her say it. She was whispering to Marissa, but I could still hear her.”
I felt a burning rage bubble in my stomach. Eloise was always crossing lines. One second, she was kind to Josie, giving her gifts and making sure to remember special occasions. The next second, she couldn’t be bothered to even acknowledge my daughter, at all. It was infuriating.
Eloise made her opinions about my parenting perfectly clear. When Amelia died, Eloise gave me a list of live-in nannies. She told me a little girl needed a mother, not just a part-time father. I made it clear that I intended to always be a part of my daughter’s life. Full time. But, that wasn’t enough to appease Eloise. She spent the next two years dropping not-so-subtle hints about my failures.
“Listen,” I said to Josie. “Miss Eloise doesn’t always know what she’s saying. I know I taught you to always listen to adults, but sometimes, adults can be wrong.”
“So, it’s okay that I’m here?”
“It’s more than okay,” I said with a chuckle. “I never would have come without you.”
She smiled and took my hand. We walked together for a while, just enjoying the cool breeze. The sun hadn’t yet risen, but streaks of light were beginning to break through the clouds. This was always my favorite part of the day — and Josie’s. When Amelia was still alive, she would hate how early Josie and I would rise. Even as a baby, Josie was up before the sun, cooing and giggling for attention.
As we walked, I looked up at the sky and wondered what Amelia would think of Marissa. The thought had been on my mind a lot, especially after that dinner. Not only did Marissa maintain her graceful nature even in the face of Eloise’s judgment, but she also managed to take care of Josie throughout the entire night. I was impressed…and a little confused.
My feelings toward Marissa were becoming blurred.
At first, I simply trusted her. She was great with Josie and kind to me. She was understanding and professional — everything I needed her to be for this arrangement. But, the more I got to know her, the more I realized how much was beneath the surface.
Marissa wasn’t just kind and professional; she was intense and emotional. Not to mention beautiful and intelligent. She was already protective of Josie in a way I hadn’t seen since Amelia. When Eloise’s insults began to fly, Marissa wasted no time in shutting her down. She refused to allow Josie to be the subject of the other woman’s rants. That, more than anything, warmed me to her.
“Do you think Marissa is up yet?” Josie asked when we turned back toward the bungalow.
“Maybe,” I said. “You really like her, don’t you?”
She nodded. “She’s nice to me.”
It was such a simple thing to say, but coming from Josie, it meant so much. The two of us walked quickly back to the bungalow. When we rounded the corner, we saw Marissa sitting on the little patio with a cup of coffee clutched in her hands.
“Hey!” she called out. “I was wondering where you two went.”
The smile she gave us was brighter than the slowly rising sun. She grinned widely, looking from me to Josie and then back again. Her deep brown eyes sparkled in the morning light, and for a second, I forgot how to breathe.
I felt myself almost freeze in place. When my eyes fell on her face, I was struck by how gorgeous she looked. It wasn’t the first time I noticed how attractive Marissa was, but it was the first time I was so affected by it. I wasn’t sure I would be able to find my voice again.
“We went for a walk,” Josie said, jumping up onto a chair beside Marissa.
“I see that,” Marissa said. “Was it nice?”
“Yup,” Josie said. “Daddy likes mornings.”
“Does he?” Marissa asked, looking at me.
“Always have,” I said, with a shrug. “My wife used to hate it.”
Marissa laughed. “I can’t say I blame her there. I’ve never been much of a morning person myself.”
“But look!” Josie said, pointing out toward the ocean. We all turned to watch as light began to pour over the water. Slowly, the sun rose into the sky and warmed our faces.
“I do like watching the sunrise,” Marissa said, softly, looking wistful.
“It’s so pretty!” Josie said. “But, I think it’s better in New York.”
“That’s because we watch it from the roof,” I said with a laugh.
“And because the sun rises in the east,” Josie said, with authority. “California is west. It’s not the same view.”
Marissa stared at Josie, her mouth slightly open. “How are you so smart?”
Josie just shrugged, making Marissa and I laugh. We sat together for another few minutes before Josie’s stomach began to growl. I hurried inside to order breakfast, but as soon as the food arrived, so did Stan.
“Good morning!” he bellowed.
“Morning,” I said. “Help me with this, will you?”
Stan and I took the breakfast trays outside where Josie and Marissa were still sitting. They both looked up when we arrived. Marissa’s smile faltered slightly when she saw Stan, but she recovered herself quickly.
“Morning, Stan,” she said. “What brings you here so early?”
“Golf,” he said simply. �
�One o’clock tee time, what do you think?”
I hesitated. This was a huge part of why we came on this trip. The resort’s golf course was one of the best in the country. Stan raved about it constantly. I knew I couldn’t say no, but I also hated the idea of dragging Marissa and Josie along with me.
“Sure,” Marissa said quickly. I looked at her, surprised. “That sounds lovely.”
“Wonderful!” Stan said. “I’ll bring the drinks.”
Marissa laughed playfully along with Stan. Josie just sat quietly and watched the exchange, not touching her breakfast until after Stan left.
“Am I coming, too?” she asked, as the door swung shut behind Stan.
“Of course,” I said. “Why?”
“Just asking.” Josie shrugged.
“Don’t worry,” Marissa said. “We’ll bring a few books with us. It’ll be fun.”
Josie perked up slightly, but when it was time to leave, she was dragging her feet all the way to the lobby.
“She’s miserable,” I said softly to Marissa.
“She’s not,” she said. “She really likes Stan. I think it’s just Eloise who…” She trailed off, obviously not wanting to overstep by insulting my friend.
“Who can be a real bitch?” I finished for her. She laughed and nodded.
“She’s pretty awful,” Marissa said. “Has she always been that way?”
“No.” I shook my head. “She was Amelia’s best friend. The four of us did everything together. When Josie was born, Eloise was the first person at the hospital. Deep down, I know she really cares about Josie. She just lets her judgmental side come out too often.”
“Maybe she just misses Amelia,” Marissa suggested. “If they were that close, it must be hard for her to see Josie growing up without her mother.”
I nodded, but didn’t say anything. Talking about Amelia wasn’t as painful as it used to be. Still, it felt strange to discuss her with Marissa, especially with my feelings becoming more confused by the second.
We met Stan and Eloise outside. We all piled onto a golf cart, and Stan drove us toward the course. It was so beautiful outside that I almost forgot Eloise was even there. Her long-winded complaints were drowned out by the rushing wind and the sound of seagulls squawking above us. It wasn’t until we arrived at the first hole that I had to pay attention to her again.