It had been a relief to find her alive and well, buried beneath layers of a quiet woman who’d chosen withdrawal to engagement, a woman who was withering away in the dust of obscurity. Jonathon had not made that discovery happen, any more than her friends had made it happen. Ultimately, the choice to re-engage was hers alone, but Jonathon had given her the opportunity to make the discovery and she’d taken it. Jonathon wasn’t afraid of her intelligence. He admired it, respected it and, in return, he’d given her a safe place in which to be herself and try her wings. It was perhaps the greatest true gift any person could give another. That he had chosen to give that gift to her was worthy of examination.
No one gave such a gift haphazardly. One would have to care for someone deeply to invest in that kind of offering. A little cry rose in her throat. Jonathon loved her. Oh, dear sweet heavens, what had she done? In her mind, she saw the taut outlines of his face the night he’d climbed into her room, waiting for her acceptance, the pain on his face last night, when she’d broken off with him. She saw other images, too, like his beautiful head thrown back in ecstasy as she pleasured him, the way he looked before he kissed her, as if she were his feast. She’d hurt him. He had been willing to fight for her, not just in the streets, but in the drawing rooms and ballrooms of the ton. Claire, you are worth fighting for.
He had been willing to take the risk, but she had not. She’d led him to believe he wasn’t worth fighting for when nothing could be further from the truth. She’d always believed that right and best were synonymous. Now, she wasn’t so sure. Was it possible that the right decision was not necessarily the best? She’d made a terrible mistake. She had to find Jonathon and tell him.
* * *
Everything seemed to happen in slow motion while she had speeded up. Nothing could happen fast enough to suit her; not the bringing of the carriage, not the journey through London through all the midday traffic. Three streets from the Albany, Claire gave up the last of her patience and hopped out. She could walk the remaining distance faster than her coachman could drive. At last, she stood in front of Jonathon’s door, breathless from excitement, from nerves, from the haste she’d made, and knocked.
She heard footsteps behind the door and she drew a breath, ready to make her speech. The door opened.
‘Jonathon, I’ve made a mistake, I am sorry.’ The words rushed out before she realised. This wasn’t Jonathon. This was... ‘Preston! What are you doing here?’ Nothing made sense. This was Jonathon’s door. She’d come to see Jonathon. He should be here, not May’s brother.
Preston gave her a considering look, arms folded across his chest. ‘What are you doing here?’ He grabbed her arm and pulled her inside, shutting the door behind them. ‘Good heavens, Claire, this is a boarding house for bachelor gentlemen. Did anyone see you?’ He looked genuinely concerned.
‘I don’t think so.’ But she wasn’t entirely sure. Most gentlemen were either still in bed at this hour or out with errands. The halls had seemed empty, but in truth, her mind had been too occupied with other things to give much thought to the consequences of her actions. The only consequence she was interested in was finding Jonathon.
‘We have to get you out of here.’ Preston was striding through the room, looking for something.
She peered around his moving form to the door leading into the other room. ‘I came to see Jonathon. Is he here?’ She fully expected to see him emerge any moment. Surely he would have heard her voice and the commotion by now.
Preston stopped his searching. ‘No, he’s not here. He’s gone to Dover on business for Sir Owen Danvers.’
‘What?’ Claire felt her stomach sink, the whirling of her mind come to an abrupt halt. Jonathon wasn’t simply ‘not’ here, he was gone. She’d come to tell him she loved him and he was gone. It seemed the height of injustice. ‘Why? What kind of business? How long? When did this come up? He said nothing about it.’
‘I’m sorry, Claire. I can’t say anything more than that on the subject. His business is his own. It’s not for me to say.’
Preston offered her a kind, brotherly smile. ‘If it’s any consolation, I think the business came up rather suddenly. I don’t think he had much advance warning.’ He touched her arm. ‘Let me take you home, Claire.’
‘No.’ Claire met Preston’s gaze with a determined stare, daring him to deny her. ‘I need to talk to Jonathon. Take me to Dover.’
Chapter Nineteen
The Antwerp Hotel was as upscale of an inn as one would find in Dover and Jonathon was heartily ready to embrace its luxuries. It had taken a little over two days to reach the port city, thanks to a side errand Owen had asked him to run and the mud-churned roads from the recent rains. To say the least, travel had been a bear and he’d been anxious, perceiving every delay as adding hours to his arrival.
‘You are in room seven.’ The clerk at the desk gave him a warm, friendly smile, a glint of something akin to bonhomie in his eye. Jonathon couldn’t fathom it. The clerk didn’t know him well enough for such an assumption. ‘Dinner will be up shortly.’ Again, the mischievous glint. Jonathon gave a nod. He didn’t remember the service being quite so good. He hoisted his valise and headed for the stairs. A hot meal would restore his spirits. He’d had far too much time alone with his thoughts. Not trusting the weather, he’d taken the coach to Dover instead of riding. Alone with his thoughts for hours on end had not done him any good. His thoughts had bounced from the prospect of finding Thomas to the prospect of having lost Claire and the ideas had chased themselves about in his head until he was weary. At the door marked with a seven, he fitted his key and pushed it open. He took a step inside, his attentions fixed on putting his key away.
‘Jonathon, you’re here at last.’ By Jove, he’d finally gone round the bend. He’d thought of Claire for so long he was imagining her voice with lifelike accuracy. He looked up and froze. He wasn’t dreaming. It was definitely her. Claire rose from the chair, her amber eyes soft with the firelight, her mouth curving in a generous smile as if she were welcoming him home. He liked the sensation such an image engendered. He wanted to go to her, to wrap her in his arms, but she’d given him up two days ago. What did it mean that she was here, miles from London? ‘Claire, what are you doing? How did you get here?’
He studied her, taking in every detail of her person. She was dressed for travel in a seasonal carriage dress of blue India muslin. A cloak he recognised as his own lay across the arm of the chair, a valise sat on the floor, still fastened, still packed. She had not arrived much in advance of him. He was starting to understand the desk clerk’s mischief now. She’d not been secretive about her purpose.
‘Preston helped me.’ He’d probably have to have some words with Preston, but that could wait. Claire’s story spilled out in semi-chronological order. ‘Preston was good enough to hire a post chaise for me. I arrived here half an hour ago. I went to your rooms in London, but you were gone.’ She moved towards him then, catching his hands and holding tight. ‘I’ve made a horrible mistake and I had to tell you, to talk to you right away.’
‘A mistake?’ There was so much to take in he couldn’t quite fathom it all at once. What mistake would this be?
‘When you realise you love someone, Jonathon, and they love you, enough to fight for you, you want to tell them at once. You don’t want to wait until they’re back from Dover.’ Jonathon felt every nerve in his body go on alert. She was talking about him. She drew a deep breath and careened on with her mesmerising words. Her amber eyes shone. ‘I love you, Jonathon Lashley, and I love who I am when I’m with you. I love what you’ve let me become.’
Claire loved him. Stunned was the only way to describe what he felt; stunned that someone would carry that depth of emotion for him; stunned that Claire would travel this far to tell him. It couldn’t have been easy. It was more than he could have hoped for. He’d spent his day thinking of ways to get
her back, to convince her, and here she was, having come to that conclusion on her own. It was the best sort of victory.
He brought her hands to his lips and kissed them each in turn. ‘You have left me speechless, Claire. I don’t know what to say, so I hope this will suffice.’ He kissed her then, long and tender, letting his body convey what his mind could not until the maids brought up dinner.
He shot Claire a look as they laid the little table in the front of the fire. ‘Only a half an hour ahead of me? You were incredibly industrious.’
A saucy maid with brown curls peered up from her work. ‘Your wife is an amazing woman. Your dinner was her first priority. She ordered it the moment she had her room.’
‘My wife,’ Jonathon drawled, watching Claire blush under his gaze, ‘is amazing indeed.’ As was the supper. His mouth started to water as the maids departed, the table ready. Covers were removed from a platter of braised rabbit, fresh spring greens and baby carrots steamed in their bowls, a new loaf of bread and pale country butter in a small crock lay on a cutting board and a bottle of red wine stood sentinel in the centre of the table. ‘My wife has done well.’ Jonathon tossed her a sly smile.
‘I had to tell them something.’ Claire sat and fussed with her napkin, avoiding his gaze. ‘The clerk wouldn’t let me in to your room otherwise.’
‘It’s fine. It’s flattering.’ Jonathon sat down across from her and began to fill their plates. ‘I’m glad you’re here.’ He slid a slice of rabbit on to her plate. Did he broach the awkward subject between them or did he merely enjoy the meal and her company? He opted for the latter. It was safer ground. He would let her decide if they talked of anything more and when.
They spoke of their journeys and the roads. They finished the wine and the candles burned down. The meal had been enjoyable and yet Jonathon felt a familiar tension begin to simmer as supper came to an inevitable end. Despite their proclamations, much lay unsettled between them, not the least being what would happen tonight.
Claire rose from the table, her voice betraying a nervous edge, her eyes not quite meeting his. ‘If you would excuse me for a few moments?’
Jonathon took his hint. ‘I’ll be downstairs. I need to check on a few things with the innkeeper.’
* * *
He would give her twenty minutes, he decided in the taproom. Twenty minutes for whatever she needed her privacy to do. But deuce take it, they were the longest twenty minutes of his life. It took only three of those minutes to confer with the innkeeper and decide his contact had not yet checked in. Perhaps tomorrow.
He checked his watch again. Twenty minutes. Finally. Surely that was enough time?
The innkeeper slapped him on the back. ‘Newlyweds? I can tell, you are eager to get back to your bride.’ He was a heavily built man with a hearty chuckle. ‘Enjoy it, man, because it won’t last, but it’s good while it does. I’ve been married nearly thirty years, those days have been gone for a while now, but I still remember them.’
His wife chose that moment to come out of the kitchen, a woman as big as he, armed with a rolling pin. ‘What are you doing out here, gabbing away? I’ve got dinner to see to and there are customers to serve. I can’t do it all, lazy man.’
‘See?’ The man held up his hands in surrender, letting her drag him away to the bar. ‘Enjoy them!’
Jonathon laughed and headed upstairs. Maybe his steps were quick on the treads. Maybe he was eager. Maybe he was just curious to see how far Claire was willing to take the impersonation of his wife. Was that so wrong? Despite the circumstances and his anxiety over the informant’s news, he hadn’t been this happy in a long time. He meant to hang on to it not just for ‘as long as he could’, but for ever. Claire had come for him.
He knocked at the door to give her fair warning and stepped inside. Claire stood before the fire much as she had when he’d arrived. Only this time she had traded her carriage gown for a robe of white silk that belted at the waist, her dark hair falling in loose waves over one shoulder. There was no mistaking her intentions. This was an offering, a seduction all rolled into one. They had reached a new point of no return. ‘Claire, are you sure?’
She stepped towards him, her hand at the belt of her robe, tugging at the sash in answer. ‘I’ve never been more certain of anything in my life.’ The robe fell loose, the sleek fabric parting to offer a tantalising glimpse of skin, of breast, of a dark shadow of hair below.
‘You’ve had dinner, Jonathon. Are you ready for dessert?’ She gave a shrug of one shoulder, letting the robe fall to her feet, revealing herself fully. Jonathon’s mouth went dry. By the saints, Claire Welton knew how to tempt a man.
‘I believe I am,’ Jonathon managed. He wanted to look at her, to enjoy her in a way he had not in their previous encounters. There had been too many clothes, or too little time. Tonight, there was neither. He let his eyes linger on the fullness of her breasts, the trimness of her torso, the slimness of her waist, the flaring width of her hips and length of her legs. Her height had not occurred to him one way or the other before, but perhaps it explained why they had waltzed so effortlessly together, walked so easily together. Then again, those activities might come easy because she was simply Claire and had a way of putting him at ease with himself. He didn’t need his masks when he was with her.
She backed away towards the chair and sat, legs crossed, the very image of Godiva in her nakedness. ‘Now it’s your turn. Take off your clothes, Jonathon.’
‘Don’t you want to take them off?’ he queried.
She gave him a coy smile. ‘No, tonight I want to watch. A lady likes to look, too.’ Ah, so she’d noticed. Jonathon grinned and complied, pulling off his boots and discarding his coats. He could get used to this confident, dominant Claire who was in charge of her passion. He loved the openness of her imagination to such bold exploration. Why would a man ever want to change this? Why would a man want a blank slate when a man could have a woman of intelligence, of confidence instead of someone cowering under the blankets out of duty?
Jonathon worked the fastenings of his trousers and pushed them over his hips, his back turned to her, deliberately making a show of it. He liked the feel of her cognac gaze running over his bare skin, liked knowing that what she saw pleased her. ‘Keep watching, Claire.’
* * *
‘Yes,’ Claire whispered. What had started as her seduction of him had rapidly become his seduction of her. She was helpless to look away. The long, smooth muscles of his back, the muscled curve of his buttocks, the masculine concavities at his hips entranced her.
Then he turned, facing her with the firelight behind him, hands on those narrow hips, thumbs angled to draw the eye downward toward his groin and the jutting peninsula of his phallus rising from the bristling dark thatch of him, hard and rugged to match the muscled power of his body. Who would have thought such strength lay beneath the dark evening clothes and bright smile? He had them all fooled for years, she realised. Did anyone guess at what lay beneath the clothes? She could easily believe this man who stood before her was a soldier hardened by battle, a fighter who wouldn’t shirk from fisticuffs in an alley. And he was hers. For however long it lasted.
Her pulse raced as he approached the chair. He held out his hand and uttered the most provocative invitation she’d ever heard. ‘Come to bed, Claire.’ She rose and took his hand.
There was no turning back now. There’d been no turning back for a long time, not since the day she’d mopped tea off his trousers and chased him into the hall to accept his offer. Claiming Jonathon was claiming herself. For the first time she was taking what she wanted. Even if she had to reconcile herself to the reality that she could love Jonathon Lashley for ever, but she couldn’t keep him that long.
He followed her down, the bed taking their weight. He kissed her long and thoroughly, his tongue tracing its tip over her lips. This was a loitering kiss, a
languorous drinking of each other which there was no need to rush. They had all night. What a luxury that seemed! They were free to drink of one another, to taste, to touch, to look their fill as slowly or as rapidly as they chose, as often as they chose.
His fingers skimmed over the base of her throat where her pulse beat, trailing slowly to the valley between her breasts, his hands cupping and caressing, his thumb-pads dragging over their suddenly sensitive peaks.
‘You are beautiful, every inch of you.’ Jonathon’s eyes feasted on her, his adulation inspiring her confidence in turn. This was decadent indeed, to lay naked in front of a man, a lover.
Her hand skimmed the muscle of him, travelling lower along his chest, along the ridges of abdomen and hip until she had the hot, hard length of him in her hand. She would never tire of the feel of him. This time, she knew what to expect and it only served to enhance the wonder of it. ‘I think the old wives have the wrong of it,’ she murmured, her hand moving down his length. ‘They say familiarity breeds contempt, but I disagree. I think it breeds anticipation.’ She laughed, revelling in the newfound power of passion awakened in her. Had this wanton been inside her all along? Had it just taken her courage to release this brave, bold woman who took the pleasure, asked for the pleasure she deserved? ‘I know what you can provide and that makes me all the more eager for it, Jonathon.’
‘You’ll be having that pleasure sooner rather than later, if you keep this up, minx,’ Jonathon warned hoarsely. ‘There’s only so much exploration a man can take.’ She placed a soft kiss on his mouth and ran her thumb over his tip. ‘You’re weeping for me.’ Her fingers spread the liquid bead down his length, priming him for what came next.
Unbuttoning the Innocent Miss (Wallflowers to Wives) Page 18