by Susan Wolfe
Georgia tried to seem deaf and oblivious as she lowered the PowerPoint screen in the front of the room and adjusted the blinds.
Sally drew herself up until her spine threatened to fly into pieces. “Roy wants me involved in all key hires. Shall I talk to him?”
“Hmm.” Andrea tapped her cheek with an index finger, feigning deliberation. “Wow. I don’t seem to care who you talk to, as long as you don’t talk to my candidates.”
The skirmish ended abruptly as Glen Terkes slouched into the room in his finest silver Armani summer suit, carefully paired with a royal blue silk shirt. He smirked faintly in apparent recognition of the charged atmosphere, ran his eyes along Georgia’s body, and then adjusted his cuffs as he seated himself loftily at the far end of the table. Well, she thought, his self-confidence certainly hadn’t been diminished by his encounter with Horace regarding the side deal email. If anything, it had been enhanced.
She made sure the latest renovation drawings were up on easels and covered by flip chart paper. She began taking attendance as the rest of the executive team filed into the room.
“Good morning,” Roy called as he entered, glancing around the room with free-floating contempt. “I have some preliminary announcements.” He held his blue and gold striped tie against his chest as he seated himself at the head of the table.
“This is our first meeting since we put the SAP lawsuit behind us, and I want to start by acknowledging Ken for making that happen. It should have happened before we lined our lawyers’ pockets to the tune of twenty-four million, but still, it is behind us.” Sort of a grudging compliment. Georgia glanced at Ken, who without looking at her dropped his eyelid in a slow wink.
“Second, I wanted to let you know that our acquisition of Futuresoft has been delayed, perhaps indefinitely.” She felt rather than saw Burt contract into himself, as if expecting a blow. “Some quite zealous investigation on the part of our legal department has revealed certain issues that Futuresoft will have to address before we proceed.” The word ‘zealous’ apparently tasted like biting down on a lime. Was he planning to blame Ken instead of Burt, after all? “I’ll let you know if and when we revive it, but this leaves a fairly big hole in our revenue planning for the rest of this year and next. We’ll be talking later about how we’re going to fill in that gap.
“Speaking of revenue gaps, we have learned that our Home Depot deal for $1.2 million won’t be booked in this quarter after all. It seems Home Depot is insisting that we deliver Oracle-compatible updates within 160 days, so we can’t book the revenue until we’ve done that. Glen will also need us to help him make up that revenue in the short amount of time remaining in the quarter.”
“I need Oracle compatibility in the worst way,” Glen stated.
“Of course you do. Andrea will report on that shortly, and I fully expect the news to be good.
“Finally, I have two important organizational announcements. First, I have decided to consolidate sales and technical support under a single leader, to facilitate better coordination between the two groups. Mark will therefore report to Glen, effective immediately.”
The only reaction in the silent room was that Mark Balog’s tight smile got slightly tighter. So everybody knew already.
Roy continued, “Mark will continue to attend our executive committee meetings, at least for the time being. I want to congratulate Glen on his new role, which I am confident he will fill most ably.” Glen acknowledged his promotion with one regal, unsmiling nod.
“Second, I have decided to consolidate employee communication under Sally. Internal communication is a vital part of reducing attrition, and I want Sally to have all relevant resources at her disposal.”
Georgia text message to Ken: ‘queen xpands hr fiefdom. now she can lv us alone for a while?’
Text message back: ‘enjoy yr pleasant dream.’
“And I’d also like to announce,” Roy continued, “that employee communication itself has a new leader, reporting to Sally. That new leader, as of next week, is Burt Plowfield.” Around the table the whole team seemed to jerk in unison. Burt’s pale face turned pink, and his neck disappeared into his rounded shoulders. “Burt has already started work on the new ‘management is listening’ posters, and will have a proposal for us on that shortly. He will no longer remain on the executive committee, although he will join us from time to time at Sally’s discretion. Congratulations, Sally and Burt, on your new roles.”
Surely Burt had been told. Just as surely, nobody else had. The entire team was looking everywhere except at Burt. Andrea was suddenly extremely busy with her keyboard.
Text message from Ken: ‘Jesus Mary & Joseph!’
Georgia to Ken: ‘kinder to just fire him?’
“Thank you for this vote of confidence, Roy,” Sally was saying with her fake shy smile. “I will certainly try to live up to it.”
“Of course, you all realize this creates a vacancy at the head of corporate development. I expect to announce a new leader there in a few weeks.
“Okay, Andrea, the 6.1.”
Andrea reported that the 6.1 would fix 52 of the 76 major bugs in the 6.0. “Of course the big issue is Oracle compatibility. We expect to have 10 of the 13 most likely configurations by the scheduled release date.”
“I need every configuration,” Glen asserted flatly. “What would it take to get that?”
Andrea scratched her eyebrow with a fingernail. “Supernatural intervention. You have a contact?”
“That’s cleverly put, as usual, Andrea,” Roy said, “but your results are inadequate and disappointing.”
“I’m sure they are, Roy, but they have the advantage of being real. In the meantime, Mark has put together a plan to allow a surge in 6.1 sales with the degree of SAP compatibility we will have. Mark, can you describe it?”
“I will, Andrea, thank you,” Mark said. “My team has developed a diagnostic to tell within twenty minutes whether a customer who needs Oracle compatibility will have it with the 6.1. Here’s the matrix up on the screen now. Isn’t this perfect? Great teamwork by Andrea’s team and mine.”
“Good work, Mark,” Ken said. Other EC members murmured their agreement.
“Now there’s just one thing,” Mark continued. “Because of the increased business we anticipate from this, as well as the extensive workaround time to get existing customers updated to the new version, I need eight additional headcount approval immediately so that I can get them up to speed by day one. The total additional cost would be . . .”
“Glen,” Roy interrupted, “your evaluation of this need?”
“Haven’t studied it yet,” Glen said, his voice deepening with importance. “With the loss of the $1.2 million and the other anticipated revenue shortfall, I’m inclined to think we need to just stretch the people Mark already has.”
“I’m glad you suggested that, Glen,” Mark beamed crazily, “because I can show everybody why it won’t work. This chart I’ve put up shows the average number of hours my team has been putting in daily, beginning two weeks after we shipped the 6.0. You’ll see that 70 percent of them have put in 15.2 hours per day seven days a week for . . .”
“Mark,” interrupted Roy, holding up his hand, “you need to share this data with Glen rather than the rest of us. It’s up to him to make the right recommendation.”
“But we only have three . . .”
“Thanks, Mark,” Glen said, holding up the palm of his hand. “We’ll discuss this privately.” He nodded to Roy.
“Good. Andrea, I’d like to see you in my office immediately following this meeting. Okay, Georgia, will you ask our architect to join us regarding the renovation?”
“Let me get him for you,” Mark said, his smile approaching rictus. “I need to step out anyway.” He hurried out through the swinging door.
“Okay,” the architect said a moment later, standing next to the flip chart, “here’s the latest iteration of our plans for this floor. We’ve made a number of changes in response
to your comments. For example, legal now has three designated meeting rooms instead of two.”
“Take a good look at this version,” Roy advised, “because I think we’re getting close. We’ve addressed your concerns. Any major problems?” he asked, shaking his head from side to side.
“I’m afraid so, Roy,” Ken said. “I appreciate the addition of one more meeting room, but it really doesn’t solve my problem. I still have three work spaces for nine lawyers, and that just isn’t going to work.”
“We pay lawyers to argue, don’t we?” Roy said to the group with a little smirk, “so I guess we can’t criticize him for arguing with me. But you’re just going to have to make do with what you’ve got, Ken. Anything else?”
“If we’re worried about making our revenue numbers,” Andrea said, “would this renovation be a good place to delay expense? That might allow us to give Mark the headcount he needs to respond quickly to our 6.1 customers.”
Roy glared at her over his tented fingers. “If you focus on delivering what you’ve owed us for a very long time now, the necessary revenue will follow. Anything else?”
The team sat politely, their hands folded in their laps or their arms crossed.
“Looks like we have a go,” Sally said, quivering with excitement. “How soon can we expect to be in our great new space?”
“We’re going to start with this floor,” the architect replied. “You should be in your new space by October.”
“Thank you,” Roy said with a nod of dismissal. “Sally, are you ready to talk about attrition?”
“I am, Roy,” An image floated in on the PowerPoint screen with three big, purple arrows curving out of an oval marked ‘stable employee base.’ “Let’s start with the ‘management is listening’ initiative, which as you know is being headed up by Burt. Burt, would you like to comment on that?”
“Oh, thanks, Sally. I’d prefer to address it in two weeks, when I’ll have actual mock-ups of some of the posters we’re planning to use.”
Text to Ken: ‘How did Burt get ths job? We all wnted it.’
Ken to Georgia: ‘Andrea and I almst got it.’
Georgia considered as her fingers flew over the keyboard. Burt Plowfield thanking Sally Kurtz for the opportunity to speak to the executive team? That relationship was about as stable as ice cream in a hot skillet. Nikki had called Roy tone deaf, but how could anybody be this oblivious?
She hurried into Nikki’s office as soon as the meeting ended, closed the door and pulled a chair close to Nikki’s desk to report the highlights.
“Wow,” Nikki said, her brown eyes wide with astonishment, “I guess that answers your question about Burt being good at his job. I must say, Roy was beside himself after that Futuresoft board meeting. He thinks Burt cost him the deal.”
Georgia grimaced. “Yeah, the board didn’t seem to like him much. What impresses me from this morning is the way Andrea took on the Nusty Beech.”
Nikki laughed. “I’d have loved to see that. I think baiting Sally is blood sport for Andrea. Just wish I had her chutzpah. By the way, did you know Sally’s newest admin quit?”
“Marta? She just got here.”
Nikki nodded, her forefinger partly obscuring a knowing smile. “Under two weeks. Sally’s record is actually deteriorating, and now Roy wants me to help her, since ‘we’re all on the same team.’” She used her fingers to make air quotes.
“Just be too busy.”
Nikki smiled ruefully and shook her head. “Wouldn’t be very professional. I’m sure she does need help. In fact, I need to go over there now to get her approval on this invoice before I pay it.”
Perfect opportunity.
“Let me take it to her. I need to talk to her about something else, anyway.”
“You sure? She bites.”
Georgia held out her hand to take the invoice. “Since she poisoned Beatrice I carry anti-venom syrup at all times.”
Sally heaved an aggrieved sigh as she initialed the invoice, thrust it back at Georgia and resumed reading, leaving Georgia stranded on the carpet in front of her desk. The last leaf on the rubber plant was as limp as a handkerchief.
“I, um, was sorry to hear that Marta left.” Sally slowly lifted her eyes, and pivoted her head to stare at Georgia with weary disbelief.
Georgia rushed ahead. “I know it can take time to find the right fit with an admin. I just wanted to let you know if you need a liaison with the legal department in the meantime, I’m happy to help. After all, we’re all on the same team.”
Sally resumed reading. “That’ll be all. Thanks.”
Georgia stood her ground, until Sally looked up with murder in her eyes.
“For example,” Georgia continued, “I wanted to be sure you know there’s a new ethics investigation.” Painful to reveal this, but she had to get Sally’s confidence somehow. What would Ken say? Out of the corner of her eye, she saw those two little heads on the wall stare at her in baleful warning.
“Really.” Sally put her document down and touched the scar just above her eyebrow, granting Georgia her full attention. “Tell me about it.”
“Well.” Georgia lowered her voice and leaned closer. “This one is possible credit card fraud by one of our employees. He might have been double billing for his travel expenses.”
Sally’s face relaxed into a gracious smile. “And whose department is this?”
“I’m not supposed to tell anyone that.” Georgia hesitated. “Well, but I’m sure they don’t mean the head of Human Resources. Just don’t tell anybody I told you, okay?”
“Of course not.” Sally probably thought her smile was reassuring, but it reminded Georgia of that prison guard’s wolfish grin, right before she shoved him.
“Okay, well, it was the procurement department. They’re still collecting facts, so I don’t know when they’ll interview him. If you’d like, I can stop by now and then to keep you updated, you know, generally.”
“Thank you, Georgia, I would appreciate that very much. After all, as you say, we’re all on the same team. I wonder why some other people in this company don’t have your common sense.”
It wasn’t really common sense, Georgia thought modestly as she carried the invoice back to Nikki. It was more the ability to look at somebody and see the actual person, instead of just your own ideas about the person. It was the ability to quiet your mind and contemplate someone, and then wait until the person’s fault lines floated to the surface like a magic map to buried treasure. Even scarcer than common sense, she suspected, and sometimes a lot more useful.
Dear Daddy,
I hope you are doing well under your difficult circumstances and keeping your spirits up. How is your novel coming along?
I myself am feeling discouraged. Although I have now eliminated three incompetents from our ranks, we are still beset by morons on every side. How did a whole company get to be so dysfunctional, and why doesn’t it just collapse under the weight of its own idiocy?
Your loving daughter,
Georgia
Dearest Georgia,
Idiocy doesn’t weigh much.
I wish I could offer shock and surprise in response to your no-doubt accurate description of half-wits and lazy people infesting your company. Instead I can only offer empathy, along with profound respect for your zero tolerance approach. Sometimes it seems that all organizations are dysfunctional, and it’s only a matter of degree and variety. I don’t think you should accept that, ever. Only think of the competitive advantage if you ever create an environment in which every person pulls her own weight and cares about the outcome. Persist, my dear! (By the way, would you feel better if you relieved a few of these lesser employees of their spare cash? I’m sure Katie-Ann would enjoy some new clothes.)
As for me, in addition to my fiction project, I am keeping my skills and spirits up by evaluating every guard and inmate and then devising the perfect, customized scam for each of them. I can’t actually do anything while I’m in here, of course, as i
t is fairly close quarters and you might say everyone knows my address. I do believe, however, that I have devised one or two promising schemes that will be great fun to implement as soon as I return to my rightful environment.
And of course I have the pleasure of the books you sent me. I finished Await Your Reply in twenty-four hours. That main character was a man of true talent, and I was sorry to see his career cut short in such an unpleasant way.
I am now enjoying Team of Rivals a few chapters at a time. We are very fortunate that we love learning new things. Not like my pseudo-intellectual brother, who acts so high and mighty around us, as if one paltry degree from some middling religious school makes him the educated member of the family.
Take care, Georgia, and don’t let the chuckleheads get you down.
Love as always,
Your Daddy
CHAPTER 19
“These recommendations are devoid of all business sense,” Roy stated flatly, his black eyes boring into Zack. Seven people, including Roy and Sally, were meeting to get sign-off to fire the ten wrongdoers in the side deal debacle. It was so cold in the boardroom that Georgia’s skin was tender.
“I know from Glen that losing Charlie Reebuck would be a devastating blow, as would the loss of the San Francisco manager,” Roy continued, tossing the list back across the table. “You need a different conclusion.” So he intended to choose his desired outcome, and then marshal facts to support it. This could be a long meeting.
“We certainly want to go over the facts with you, Roy,” Ken said quickly, drawing Roy’s glare away from Zack and pointing to a stack of green vinyl binders. “We want you to see the evidence for yourself. Should we start with Charlie?”
For the next hour Quan, Zack and Terry from Internal Audit led a discussion in painstaking detail of each of the ten employees for whom termination was recommended. At the end of the discussion, there was consensus that the seven sales executives and the controller would be fired. The fates of Charlie Reebuck and the head of the San Francisco office remained undecided.