The Thorn (The Rose Trilogy)

by Beverly Lewis

  Soon Beth was down in the straw, just sitting there, and they came right to her. At one point she was eye to eye with the gentle creatures, and Rose caught her breath and blinked tears away.

  "You're just so precious," Beth whispered as the smaller horse moved his face right up next to hers, licking her chin, her face, her neck, till Beth couldn't keep her giggles inside.

  When Mattie Sue came wandering into the stable, Rose introduced her to Beth. "My niece loves the foals, too," Rose said, but Beth was not very interested in either Rose or Mattie Sue just now. All her attention was focused on the young horses.

  Mattie went and squatted down next to Beth, and Rose was pleased that it didn't take long before Beth became comfortable with Mattie Sue. Now and then, Beth turned to look at Mattie, smiling tentatively, both of them just inches away from the foals. And to think Beth had been too frightened to come to the door a little less than two weeks ago!

  "Looks like you're makin' some new friends today," Rose said, overcome with joy as she watched. Without a doubt, her efforts to seek out Mr. Browning's daughter were truly worthwhile.

  Beth made no reply as she stroked the foals and shared the same space with Mattie Sue, lost in her own world.

  Later, when it was time to take Beth back home, Nick waved to Rose from over in the pasture. Beth stared at him for the longest time, even as they were pulling out of the lane.

  "Rosie, I didn't want to leave today," Beth told her on the ride home in the buggy.

  "Well, I understand that feelin'," Rose replied.

  "Like when Daddy and I lived in Illinois - I felt just like that all over again," Beth said.

  "And what was that?"

  Beth grew quiet; then she began to sniffle.

  "You all right?"

  Looking away, Beth wiped her eyes. "My daddy won't let me tell."

  Tell what? Rose wondered, beginning to worry.

  "That boy - the one who waved at you - is he your boyfriend?"

  "No."

  "He looks like - " Beth stopped.

  "Who, Beth? Someone you knew in Illinois?"

  "I'm not supposed to say."

  "Well, I believe you're wrong about that. You can tell me anything," Rose said, gripping the reins and feeling terribly uneasy.

  Beth was silent for a time. At last she said softly, "He reminds me of Tommy Walker."

  "Is Tommy your friend?"

  Nodding, Beth continued. "Daddy didn't want my boy to take me away from him. That's why we moved here. Daddy says it was for my own good."

  "Was Tommy your boyfriend, ya mean?"

  "We loved each other a whole bunch."

  Rose did not know what to think. "Was Tommy nice to you?"

  Beth said yes and wiped her face with the back of her arm.

  "Your father brought you here to get away from a nice boy?"

  "Daddy likes the Amish community - says it's a safe place for girls like me. That's why we lived in Arthur, too."

  "Was the boy you liked Amish?"

  "No, Tommy was from my school. He loved me, he said. And he wanted me to go away with him. Daddy caught us kissing one night and started making plans to leave."

  "You must miss Tommy."

  Beth sighed. "I'll never, ever forget my sweet Tommy."

  "A girl never forgets her first love."

  "Who's yours?" Beth asked, looking at her.

  "Well" - Rose gave her a conspiratorial grin - "his name is Silas Good. But you can't tell anyone, all right?"

  Beth's eyes widened. "A secret - like Tommy?"

  "Not exactly the same way, no. But we Amish don't tell it around who we're seem' till it's closer to the time we get married."

  Beth nodded, her eyes fixed on Rose. "Is that so no other boy can push his nose in and spoil things?"

  Laughing softly, Rose said, "I guess you could say that."

  "Well, if you love each other, then no other boy can come between you, right?" Beth said.

  Rose considered that and found it to be quite profound. "Jah, I s'pose so." She felt that Beth had not only been separated from the physical world on some level, but also separated from life's sweetest moments. Lonely as she was, no doubt Beth was hungry for affection.

  "Would you like to come to my house again?"

  "If Daddy lets me."

  "Well, maybe on Wednesdays, after I'm done with my work, I could bring you home with me sometimes."

  "Goody!" Beth smiled so wide she showed her gums. "I hope so."

  "Why don't you let me talk to your father about it, all right?"

  Sitting straighter now, Beth agreed, then turned to watch the road. "Do you think I could ever learn to drive a horse and buggy?" she asked softly.

  "Maybe, with plenty of practice."

  "There's lots of things I hope to do ... one day."

  "Hope is a wondrous thing."

  "My aunt in Illinois - her name's Judith - she says I have to put wings on my hope, but I don't know how to do that."

  Rose listened. "Your aunt sounds like an encouraging person.

  "She has lots of time to write me letters every week."

  "Why's that?"

  Beth pressed her lips together tightly and looked away. "She never got married."

  "Lots of women don't," Rose said. "One of my mother's sisters has stayed single her whole life."

  "She's happy?"

  "Sure."

  Observing Beth's forlorn expression, Rose wished she'd never said a word about her beloved Maidel aunt. "I'm so glad your father brought you to visit me," she said as they pulled into the driveway.

  Mr. Browning hurried out the door, coming to meet Beth, a relieved smile on his face. Beth stepped down out of the carriage and into her father's arms. "Oh, Daddy ... this was one of the best days of my whole life!"

  Rose struggled to keep her emotions in check as she waved to the two of them. "Good-bye, Beth ... and thank you so much, Mr. Browning."

  Rose awakened in the middle of the night with a sudden fright and stumbled across the room. Going to the nearest window, she raised the shade and looked out, anxious to see the bishop's farmhouse in the near distance. She had the strangest urgent need to talk to Nick. All week she'd suppressed it. Had she done the right thing by putting him off? The only difference in their relationship now was her courtship with Silas. Surely, if she revealed the reason to Nick, he would understand.

  Standing at the window, she wished she might see a speck of light coming from Nick's upstairs bedroom. Was he awake, too, and looking back this way, wondering something similar?

  Rose pressed her hand to her chest - she did not know what to do with this peculiar tugging on her heart. The days of obligatory separation from Nick felt nearly like a deception on her part. She hugged herself in the darkness, feeling as if part of her had been severed somehow. But wasn't that silly? Maybe these thoughts were merely part of the odd web of irrational notions the mind spun in the wee hours. Things could seem terribly skewed in the bleak hours before sunrise.

  The thought of going without seeing Nick indefinitely - really seeing him, not just working alongside each other, but riding together and talking freely - rendered her almost unable to breathe. It was all she could do to keep from crying.

  "But why ... why should I miss him so?" she whispered into the shadows.

  During Rose's ride home from her Saturday afternoon visit to Aunt Malinda's, she happened upon Christian, who was kicking stones along the road as he walked away from his house. She slowed up the horse and waved, wondering why he looked nearly as down in the dumps as Nick had all week.

  She was surprised to see him begin to run alongside the carriage as she passed. "I need to talk to ya, Rose!" he called.

  "I'm late getting home," she answered, not interested in more of his nonsense about Nick. "I need to help with supper."

  "Well, soon, then ... very soon," he shouted back. "Jah?"

  Rose headed up Salem Road, hoping Christian might just forget and leave her be.

&nb
sp; While tossing feed to the goats after supper, Rose kept telling herself there wasn't anything she could do for Nick. She must live her life and he must live his, even if it meant he went to the English side of things. What he chose to do was none of her concern. He has a free will . . . and he has not chosen the right way. It was not her place to pressure him to follow the Lord in holy baptism - if anything, it was the bishop and Barbara's. Yet they had failed to win him over.

  Rose turned from the barn to go to the house, and there was Nick, standing under a tree, hatless, his back against the trunk and arms folded. He was staring at her, his long black hair pulled into its customary ponytail. "Nick ... what're ya doin'?"

  He motioned to her. "Rosie ... I think we should go ridin'."

  She disliked rejecting him again. Still, she needed to honor her commitment to Silas. "My beau could get wind of it," she said softly.

  "What right does he have to pick your friends?" Nick said defiantly.

  "Well, Nick" - and here she offered a smile - "it's not like you're one of my girlfriends, ya know."

  He smirked good-naturedly. "Might as well be." He glanced at the sky. "Come on, Rosie ... while it's still daylight."

  "I ... really shouldn't."

  He ignored her remark. "Your knee's much better, ain't?"

  It was, and had been for a while now. "Well..." She hesitated, though she still didn't feel it was right, not when Silas had been so clear about where he stood on the matter.

  "There's something I want to show you in the ravine."

  "You'd say just about anything now, jah?"

  "Come and see - you won't be sorry." He left her standing there as he strode across the yard. "I'll meet ya up the way. Bring George; he's surest on his feet."

  What was she supposed to do - leave Nick waiting out on the road?

  "Hurry, Rosie," he called over his shoulder. "The ravine gets dark quick."

  Why's he so taken with that place? She glanced over at the Dawdi Haus where Hen and Mattie Sue were staying. Hen easily could've seen her with Nick if she was anywhere in her kitchen. Rose could only hope her sister was resting upstairs.

  Groaning, she made her way to the barn, up to the haymow, and found her old trousers. Quickly she pulled them on under her dress. Since she intended to be gone just a short while, she decided to take only the old lightweight shawl from the row of hooks in the stable.

  She then removed her Kapp and left it on one of those same hooks.

  George was ready and raring to go, and Rose wondered how on earth she could walk him past the house without being seen. So she took the long way around, through the meadow behind the barn, out of sight.

  Carefully, Rose hoisted herself up. Forgive me this one last time, Silas. She also wondered if she shouldn't ask the Lord to forgive her, too.

  "Let's go to the bottom of the hollow," Nick suggested as he and Rose rode side by side on the narrow strip of Bridle Path Lane. "Down by the crick."

  "I despise this place," she said. "It's creepy."

  "It's an adventure, Rosie."

  "Well, I'm not comfortable here, are you?"

  "Puh!" He blew air out of his mouth. "Don't ya know I'm the hobgoblin who lives deep in the ravine? The one the bishop's grandchildren talk about."

  She shivered. "Don't make jokes 'bout that. Please ..."

  "I'm kidding," he said. A shadow seemed to cross his face.

  She'd noticed this happen before. "You look different sometimes, Nick."

  "I'm the same fella you've always known." He stopped talking till they'd gone past Jeb Ulrich's ramshackle place. "Promise me you'll never, ever turn your back on me again."

  His words stung her. "What do you mean?"

  "All this week, you refused me."

  "Nick, I told ya why."

  "And you know what I said to that."

  She sighed as she followed him down the craggy cliff, leaning forward on her horse, steadying herself with her knees. His black ponytail marked the way ahead.

  "No one has any business interfering with gut friends," he said, directing his horse into the narrow gorge. "You know it, Rose Ann, and so do I."

  What had gotten into him, using her two names? He never referred to her like that. He was starting to sound like one of her father's uncles - sharp-tongued and without regard for her feelings. Even so, she refused to argue. Nick was smarter than he was letting on about her and Silas. Goodness, they were on the threshold of engagement. Surely he suspects ...

  The descent grew steeper, and the horses had to pick their way around large boulders, then slow even more as they moved near treacherous outcroppings. "Did ya come here last weekend, when you were gone overnight?" she asked.

  He laughed. "You're just dyin' to know, ain't?"

  "Well, I hope you didn't sleep in the brambles and thorns."

  "We're almost there," he coaxed her and the horse. "Keep on Comm now.

  Once they'd made the difficult passage through the thick underbrush and heavily treed areas where the rock face was more dangerous, Nick stopped and got off his horse. He gave Pepper a cube of sugar and led him to the creek to drink. "Go over there, Rosie, and look behind that boulder." He pointed behind her.

  She dismounted and went to see what Nick was talking about. Leaning behind the enormous stone, she reached down and felt something hard sticking out of the mound of earth. It felt like a tree root petrified over time.

  Then, peering down, she cried, "Can it be?" She saw the grimy silver top and pulled the object up out of the mesh of leaves and twigs. Caked with debris, it was her mother's long-lost money tin. "I can't believe this!"

  Nick stood between Pepper and George as both horses drank from the creek. "I found it Wednesday night, when I was down here, ridin' alone."

  "Well, how on earth?" Lovingly, she removed the leaves and pieces of mud as best she could.

  "I was sitting right where you are, and my flashlight rolled back into the crevice behind me. I started fishing around for it and bumped into the hard tin and realized something was lodged in there."

  "What do ya know ... after all this time!" Holding the tin box, Rose sat on the stony ledge and pried open its rusty top. Her heart was pounding as she looked inside and saw the dollar bills and coins her mother had placed there so long ago. "Won't Mamm be surprised?" she said, looking up at him. "Oh, Nick! Denki, ever so much." She set it down and went to him. "You knew how much it would mean to me to find this. Thank you!"

  He chuckled, looking at her hair. "You look like me, all schtruwwlich without your Kapp."

  She raised her hands and felt the loose strands of hair. "Ach, goodness."

  "That's all right. Ya look gut, Rosie."

  She smiled up at him. "Denki again for findin' Mamm's tin box."

  "I said you wouldn't be sorry."

  "It's a family heirloom. She'll be so happy to have it back."

  "But how can ya take it home?"

  "Well, why not?"

  "Think about it - you can't say you've been down here, now, can ya?"

  She moaned. "You're right. They'd never expect me to come here by myself."

  "They'd suspect you were here with me," he said. "And the bishop or Barbara might've seen us ridin' up the road together earlier."

  Rose was torn now, because she couldn't show her mother or take the tin and the money safely home again. She could not even tell Mamm she'd found it. And if word got out to Silas's father, or to Silas himself, who knew what might happen? "Guess I have no choice but to leave it here." She felt like crying.

  "It's just like everything else, Rosie."

  She raised her apron hem to dab at her eyes, listening. "What is?"

  He looked at the boulder, his gaze rising up the steep ravine. "We can't be honest and show anyone what we know. Or how we feel."

  What do you mean? she almost said, but she knew. She knew all too well. Tears welled up in her eyes.

  "We have to hide our feelings behind a boulder, like that tin box. Keep them hidden away l
ike Mr. Browning kept his daughter a secret out of fear." Nick looked into her eyes, pleading. "Come with me to the modern world, won't ya, Rosie? For gut."

  "Leave the People?"

  "We'll disappear before dawn." He reached for her hand.

  She hesitated, shocked by his request. "What are ya sayin', Nick?" She stared at him, aware of the ache in her throat.

  "We've known each other nearly all our lives. I know how you are with me. I saw you lookin' my way when your cousins were talkin' and flirting with me at Singing. Aw, Rosie, I know you care for me."

  "Sure, I care, but ..."

  "What?" His eyes urged her to continue.

  "I belong to . . ." She stopped.

  Nick took both her hands in his and drew her near. Her cheeks felt too warm, and a strange feeling nearly took her over ... like the night they rode Pepper together. "It's always been you, Rosie. Always."

  She felt so horribly confused in his arms. "But ... we're just friends!"

  He nodded. "The best kind of friends, jah. I'm the one who's listened to you talk a blue streak since we were kids. I know you better than anyone. Come away with me. We can live in Philly."

  "But that's where you long to be." She shook her head. "My life is here."

  "Shh. Just listen." He cupped her chin, his eyes searing hers. "Think ahead twenty years from now," he whispered. "Who do you see yourself with?"

  How dare he ask me this!

  "Think, Rosie ... whose wife are you - and are ya happy?"

  "Nick, don't." She pulled away.

  "Please, just let me have this moment - the two of us together." He caressed her cheek, then pressed her face gently to him. She felt the rise and fall of his chest. "Not a single day goes by that I don't think of you - us - this way. I can hardly wait to see you every afternoon. And I remember each place we've ever explored together."

  Oh, she could rest in his arms for always, embrace this strange, exuberant feeling. Yet Rose felt wicked for even thinking she should allow herself this pleasure.