Though the younger boys were slightly afraid of Richard, they would not have been younger brothers if they simply obeyed. Even so they were too scared to run away, so they did the only thing they could think to do: they stalled. “Mother sent you after us?” William asked, surprised not that she had sent him but that Richard had actually obeyed. He was not known for his cheerful willingness to help with the mundane chores required at court.
“No, actually she sent Edward. But he got no further than the gate where he turned for town and his filthy little strumpet. Now get moving!”
“So you came because you wanted to see us get in trouble?” Henry accused him darkly.
“More precisely to prove a point. John and I have a bet as to how long it will take you two to wash out. He thinks it will take you five or ten years. I believe it will be much sooner than that. Thank you for proving me right.”
“I still can’t believe Mother sent you,” William said as he began collecting his things.
“She was worried about you and needed someone she knew would find you. Sorry we can’t all be dogs in heat like Edward.”
“Maybe Edward is just a good brother and didn’t want to see us get in trouble,” Henry grumped.
Richard snorted loudly. “You imbecile! Edward did not fail to find you because he likes you. He is indifferent to you. He doesn’t care what happens to you. He cares only about himself.”
“And you do care about us?” William asked as they climbed into the saddle.
“Let me put it this way,” Richard said as he wheeled his mount toward home, “I care enough to not want you to publicly disgrace our family.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
“You know what I almost said to them, to my own brothers?” Richard asked. There was no response, but he knew the voice was not far. He could sense it. “I remember it so well because I wanted desperately to tell them what I was really thinking. I actually wanted to say to them that if they had both drowned in that pond, I would not have cared a bit. I only did not want them doing anything that reflected badly on me. Can you imagine a man feeling that way about his own little brothers? They were young squires behaving as children do. Life for a squire is brutal, demanding, and can be very tedious. I know I ran off more than a few times myself."
“You are learning to empathize. That is good.”
Richard snorted in disgust. “Only about thirty years too late.”
“These feelings that you are feeling are an important and necessary agent of change. You must understand the mistakes you made and how you should have acted differently. It is also necessary to feel godly sorrow for what you have done and for the length of time you continued on this destructive path. But that sorrow becomes counterproductive after a time. It holds you back from progressing beyond these mistakes just as surely as if you had never realized them at all.”
“If I have learned what I am supposed to learn why am I still here?” Richard protested.
“You are not ready to leave yet. If you were released now, you would return to your old ways. I know you think that could not happen,” Richard’s objections were forestalled. “One does not erase decades of pride, selfishness, and sin by spending a couple of months in here. These are deeply rooted habits that have governed you longer than you realize, each one dragging you down a little further until you are forever bound by them. You were not far from that. What do you suppose would have become of you if you had not lost that last battle?”
“I would have been a great hero,” Richard immediately replied, “even greater than my father.”
“Perhaps, but what would have happened after? What would have become of you?”
“I would have returned to Dawning Court in triumph.”
“And would that great victory have made any difference to your family? All they remember is the way they have been mistreated at your hand. This victory would have done nothing to right those wrongs.”
“So what of that? I would have succeeded my father as a great warrior baron. Then my family would have seen that is what I was meant to do.”
“And John?”
“What about John?”
“What would you do with him? He is the eldest son and rightful heir of Dawning Court.”
“I am confident he would step aside for me.”
“And if he didn’t? Would you depose him?”
“This is ridiculous. I would be twice the ruler he would be.”
“Perhaps, but John has an innate compassion for people that you are only now starting to learn. Wouldn’t you agree that was a key to a good ruler?”
“I am twice the man John is and ten times the warrior. How can you say he would be a better ruler than me?”
“You are equating a strong ruler with a good ruler? There is no doubt you would be a stronger ruler than John.”
“Exactly. A better ruler.”
“I guess that depends on whose perspective you share. To the nobility a strong ruler protects their status and wealth. To the majority of people, the commoners, a good ruler eases their burdens and cares about their general welfare.”
“A strong leader can do both,” Richard declared.
“So you are convinced you would be a better leader. But it is still John who has the right of succession, not you.”
“He would step down,” Richard declared.
“And what if he did not?”
“He would!”
“And what if he did not?”
“I doubt it is even an issue. I heard he was on the outs with the family anyway.”
“And what if he is not?”
“Then I would remove him!” Richard shouted finally. He then sat in silence for a long time, fuming, with his back against the cold stone and his arms pulling his knees to his chest.
“So there it is. You would have continued to harm your family to further your own selfish ends.” There was silence again for a long while.
“Well none of that much matters now because I didn’t win. Damned mercenaries!”
CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
“Running away already?”
William started at the direct address and then broke into a grin. “You got my message.”
“We weren’t quite sure whether to believe it or not. Our long lost hero returned from conquering the holy land,” David teased him.
“Conquering the Holy Land?” William was surprised. “Who told you that?”
“Everyone knows about ‘the great William of York’ and his legendary conquests.”
“I’m William of Dawning! You know that, right? I have been down the road, passed out in a brothel for the last several years.”
“I thought I remembered you,” David laughed.
“That would explain the smell,” Neil added.
William looked affronted. “I will thank you not to suggest that the ladies of Chateau Overripe were anything less than impeccably groomed.”
“I wasn’t,” Neil replied. “I was worried for what your lack of grooming might have done to their reputation.” They all laughed and embraced fondly after their long absence.
William thought that the intervening years had done very little to change the appearance of his friends, other than having their boyish features hardened into those of men. At 5' 11” and 165 pounds, Neil was a perfectly average figure. Other than his height, there was nothing about his long, bony face and dark hair that parted in the middle to particularly set him apart from a crowd. David was slightly shorter than Neil with curly hair, heavier shoulders and arms; a heavier cast to his face; a smaller, broader nose; and a thicker jaw.
“What are you two hoodlums doing with yourselves?” William asked. “Or is it ‘Sir’ Hoodlums?”
“Genuflect when you address your betters!” David ordered, still laughing.
“If I see any I will make sure that I do that,” William assured him.
“Yes, we are knighted and pledged to Dawning Court, for better or for worse.”
“Mostly worse,” Nei
l added without a smile.
“No, wrong attitude, Neil,” William chastised him. “It was only by being pledged to Dawning Court that you could be above me as knights and yet still below me as my sworn servants.”
“I wonder,” David said thoughtfully, “how much of a stir it would make if a young nobleman was run through by his sworn protectors?”
“I think you may have hit upon a grand idea, David,” Neil agreed.
“Not much of a stir at all, I’m afraid,” William assured them. “If noble knights really want to make a stir in the kingdom, try protecting your charge until he dies of natural causes. That would be something entirely original for a knight.” David swung at William, but he dodged aside. “Now, now, you are falling right into the classic profile, I’m afraid.” Neil now took up the chase and William was compelled to flee from them. “If you persist in this, you will be no good for the quest I have come to bestow upon your semi-noble persons.”
They both stopped suddenly. “What quest?” Neil said seriously.
“Well, that is better,” William said, straightening his robe. “The quest to guard my noble person in Damascus.”
Neil and David glanced at each other. “Are you in earnest?” David asked.
“I most certainly am, and you can’t very well guard my noble person when you are trying to kill me now, can you?”
“Why are you going to Damascus?”
“It seems Richard has gotten himself into a bit of a tight spot, and we thought we would pop over with a few of our boys and lend him a hand.”
“When?”
“We depart day after tomorrow.”
“That is not much time,” David protested.
“It should not take long, only a few of us going, no squires, no more than three pack animals each.”
“No squires?” Neil was suspicious.
“What is going on?” David asked.
“I will explain it all later if you choose to accompany me.”
“As knights of Dawning Court, you know we are obligated,” Neil accused.
“No, not this time. Volunteers only. If you refuse, you will never hear of it again. We are preparing and departing in the greatest secrecy. I am asking you to join me because you are my two oldest friends, both of whom may have families by now, but I did not bother to find out first lest I feel guilty while pressuring you into my service; we may not come back from this one.” David and Neil exchanged glances.
“I only point that out in consideration of your heretofore unnamed wives.”
“Why do you insist on bringing that up?” Neil demanded heatedly. “Is our duty contingent on whether some floozy awaits our return or not?”
“Neil, he meant nothing by it,” David tried to calm him, but it only seemed to make Neil more angry.
“Should we forgo all responsibility and remain at home to ensure that our domestic lives remain intact?”
William glanced back and forth between the two of them. “I’m guessing this is not about Richard,” he ventured.
“Never mind! When do we leave?” Neil said abruptly.
“Is he always like this?” William looked to David.
“Most of the time,” David responded without missing a beat. “Except when he's asleep; then he is positively angelic.”
William turned back to inspect Neil, who was flushing slightly. “I could see that. I bet you are adorable when you’re asleep.”
“I will not waste any more time here!” Neil declared and walked off quickly in the opposite direction, leaving his two friends behind.
“David?” William said as they watched their friend depart.
“Hmm?”
“What just happened?” In all the years William had known Neil, he had been exceptionally moody, one day pleasant and enjoyable to be around and the next abrasive and intolerable. But this behavior was still unexpected.
“That's what I was trying to warn you about,” David sighed. “Neil married a couple of years ago, just after returning from the Holy Land. His wife took their son and slipped away a few weeks ago.”
“Slipped away?”
“Took the child and fled the country as best as anyone can figure.”
“Fled the country?” William was mildly shocked.
David shrugged. “She didn't exactly leave a letter of explanation. I suppose the simple message was that she would rather leave the life she knew behind and start over in a foreign land than live with Neil any longer. That has to hurt.”
“I should think so.” William was still looking after Neil.
All at once William was struck with how similar this moment was to a time so many years before. It seemed a lifetime now, but still William reflected on a scene from their past when the three of them had their friendship put to the test, and it nearly broke. The friendship had survived, but it had left a deep rift in the unblemished loyalty of David’s friendship toward William. They had never discussed it since that fateful day, and William was not going to bring it up on his first day back with his old friend.
“Privately I think we always ascribed his many foibles to causes incident to youth that would be shed with age and experience,” David recalled, mistaking the subject of William’s current thoughts. “It seems we were wrong… Can you imagine living with that moody dog day in and day out?”
“I can’t even fathom living with him as far as Damascus. But I take it from the way my sworn protector is abandoning me that he will not be accompanying me on that road?”
“Oh, I imagine he will be there. He does not have much choice. None of us do.”
“What do you mean?”
David pursed his lips in an unconscious indication that he did not want to continue this conversation.
“What is it?”
“Dawning Court’s lands are shrinking, William. We all inherited a certain amount of land when we pledged to your family, but that is where the largess ended. The only income left to us is campaigning or raising crops, and we cannot compete with the serf-grown crop prices.”
“But your father’s endowment was generous.” David’s father had served alongside Braden Dawning in the most prosperous days of his campaigning and had been generously rewarded for it.
“My father passed a year or two ago, and with him passed many of our assets to satisfy his great debts. I was essentially forced to start fresh, but...”
“That is nonsense,” William protested. “Your father could not have lost everything.”
“What? You think this a fabrication?” There was some heat in David’s voice. “I have a wife and child to take care of now. I am acutely aware of my circumstances. I do not sleep at night worrying about how I am going to provide for them.” The two walked in silence for a few moments until David again spoke. “I'm sorry, I did not mean to snap at you. I know it is not your fault.”
“I see this is taking a heavy toll on you. Is everyone feeling this?” William asked.
“Most of the minor nobles are.”
They walked in silence for a time until William spoke again, changing the subject. “You did not tell me you were married.”
“Oh yes, I am. I have a little girl, too.”
“And whom did you press into marrying you?”
David hesitated ever so slightly before responding. “Salena,” he said. “I married Salena.”
“Is that right?” William asked with a sly smirk on his face. “Salena?”
“Now, I know you two did not always get along, but she has changed a lot.”
“Well, congratulations,” said William, trying to sound genuine.
“Let us walk toward town. I have to meet a merchant there, but we can pass by my house and you can see the baby. Besides, Salena wants to see you.”
They both knew that was a lie, but manners dictated William go along with the charade. “Of course,” he agreed as they altered their course onto an adjoining lane. “But I best stay away from town, given that I am a wanted man.”
“Is that still not
settled?” David stopped walking and looked at William in surprise. “Baron Braddock is an old fool. Accept his challenge, cut his fat belly open, and be done with it.”
“Is that all I have to do?” William feigned excitement. “And then will you cut open the bellies of his sons and the armies they will surely bring upon us in retaliation?”
“Well, I uh. . .”
“Yes, I see what that advice is worth. Keep walking, Sir Protector.” He pushed David’s shoulder to propel him down the road. “For if I follow your advice, I will truly need your services.”
“So what about Leah?” David asked as William fell into step beside him again.
“Is that all anyone can ask me about?” William demanded, suddenly heated.
David’s brow furrowed. “Have many people been asking you about Leah?”
“No,” William admitted frankly. “But it has been on my mind, and I don’t care to talk about it.”
“That’s fine. We all just figured that is what would bring you back here if anything ever could.”
“Here we are,” David said cheerfully, ignoring William’s glare. They were approaching a small cottage set off the side of the road. It was nicely kept, surrounded by trees, but it was surprisingly small. Not much bigger than a serf’s cottage.
“What is this?” William asked, stopping in surprise.
“Well, this is where I live, William,” David admitted, slightly embarrassed.
“What about Abelin Manor? Your family's house?” William asked, remembering the great stone estate where they had spent so many carefree hours playing as boys.
“I told you, my father had a great many debts when he died. We lost most everything.”
“Oh,” William said lamely, “I'm sorry. This is nice, though.” He wanted to make up for the awkward position he had just put his friend in but did not want to sound overly complimentary, knowing it would sound false.
The Knights Dawning (The Crusades Series) Page 25