by Cora Brent
I washed out the gumbo container and then decided the entire kitchen could use a good scrubbing. From there I moved on to the living room and then the bathroom. Two hours later the place was immaculate. But all that activity didn’t force Creed Gentry out of my thoughts.
With a sigh I sought out my phone. Saylor would still be at work and there wasn’t really anyone else I could call to discuss my infatuation, which in truth was beginning to overpower me. On a whim I called my sister Carrie. Her voicemail answered with the same bubbly voice I used to hear everyday. I didn’t leave a message. There was no way to reach Mia up there on some off-the-grid farm in the Pacific Northwest. And after my last awkward conversation with Aggie, I wasn’t willing to risk the forlorn feeling that had bothered me for days afterward.
I stared at my phone, wondering how things would go if I dialed anyway, if I blurted out everything I should have told her four years ago. I put the phone down. It would be selfish at this point. I would only be sharing the burden of my own pain because I couldn’t carry it by myself anymore.
I didn’t call her. I tossed the phone on the coffee table. If I had lived alone with it all this time then I could keep on going just like that. It was my cross to bear.
Dolly jumped on the couch next to me as I curled my legs underneath my body and picked up a shabby pillow. I toyed with the remote and then put it down, not feeling much interested in television. I used to love to read. When I was a teenager I would blow through about eight romance novels a week. I couldn’t wait for the day when the things happening in those pages would happen to me. I was still waiting. I’d finally learned not to mistake sex for love but I hadn’t seen what love looked like for myself. I was afraid I’d always be on the outside looking in.
The knock on the door was loud. Sometimes drunks would roll out of a party and get lost, banging on doors until someone answered. Cautiously I peered through the peephole. Creed stood on the other side of it, his head down.
My heart rate immediately doubled. I glanced down quickly at my messy clothing. I wasn’t even wearing a bra and although Creed never seemed troubled by the sight of my breasts, I knew the loose ponytail, nylon shorts and grubby t-shirt were rather tacky.
“Didn’t expect to see you again tonight,” I said easing the door back slowly.
He pushed it open the rest of the way and grabbed me.
“Wait,” I gasped, struggling to close the door as his hands went down my shorts, “Creed, hold on.”
“Why?” he growled, slamming the door shut and then pulling his shirt off.
I circled away from him, even though I was already shaken up from the brief touch of his hands. I wanted him like I always wanted him. Still, it annoyed me that he just came barging in here to silently demand sex.
“You don’t call,” I said angrily, my thighs squeezing together to suppress the fresh ache. “You don’t even say, ‘Hello’. You just show up here at eleven pm like I’m some fast piece of action you can ride.”
He stared down at me, breathing heavily. I wanted to feel the solid heat of his tanned chest. I wanted him to take me anyway. Instead he pulled his phone out of his back pocket. I’d left my own phone on the coffee table and it buzzed loudly.
I put my hands on my hips and glared at him. “What the hell are you doing?”
He just stared at me silently with his phone to his ear as mine continued to ring.
I picked my phone up.
“Hello, Truly,” he said into the phone, his eyes boring into me from six feet away.
“Hi Creedence,” I answered, meeting his gaze.
“Can I come over to fuck you until you scream and then fall asleep on your tits?”
Creed you know I’m so full of shit and that you don’t really have to ask.
“Yes-“ I started to say and that was enough for him. Creed threw his phone down and was on me, pulling my shirt up and fastening his mouth to my breasts. I was in ecstasy immediately, pushing his head against me harder as he ripped my shirt over my head. I felt myself falling but he caught me and we clumsily wound up on our knees. His hands were inside of me, and then his tongue went there too. Creed Gentry got me stripped naked and on my back as he loomed over me like a golden mythological god.
“Creed,” I whispered, reaching for him, wanting badly to feel what he was keeping just out of my reach. He held my hips in his hands, his wild blue eyes scouring every inch of me before he reached between my legs.
“No,” I whimpered as he brought me higher with the steady rhythm of his fingers. “You, I want you!”
“Hush, baby. I just want to watch you come first.”
I didn’t keep him waiting long. He’d already learned everything there was to know about my body and the shattering pleasure found me quickly. Afterwards he got on top, covering me completely with his hard flesh. I was still ripe, completely ready to have him inside me. I was about to begin pulling off his pants whether he wanted me to or not when he let out a sad sigh and moved his cheek to my shoulder.
The back of his neck was hot as I ran my fingers over it, then into his hair. His arms snaked underneath my body to pull me more tightly against him. I knew something was wrong and I was about to ask him to tell me about it. But that wasn’t the way Creedence worked. He would tell his stories in his own time, in his own way.
“It’s too bright in here,” he muttered suddenly and then gathered me into his arms. He carried me into my room and set me down on the bed.
“I thought you liked it in the light,” I said, watching him strip off his pants in the near darkness.
“Sometimes,” he answered, pushing his rigid dick against my soft belly. “Sometimes not.”
I put my hand on him, wrapping him inside my palm as he groaned. “What do you want, Creed?”
He was pushing against my hand, breathing hard. “Right now?”
“Yes. Right now.”
“Put me in your mouth.”
I’d never liked it, the act of having a man shove himself between my lips and stay there for an eternity. But I loved it with Creed. I loved licking the solid length and then surprising him by lightly sucking his balls. He inhaled sharply, grabbing my hair hard, and I loved that too.
Later, after we’d enjoyed each other in a few more creative ways, his head was pillowed on my breasts as my fingers lazily roamed over his sweaty back.
“Creedence?”
“Yeah, Tallulah.”
I smiled. “You made a promise to me.”
He lifted his head and waited for me to explain.
“You promised that I would hear you sing.”
“Mmmm.” He rolled over to his back and yawned. “Can’t. I don’t have my guitar.”
I scoffed. “And no one in the history of time ever sang a note without a guitar.”
He mulled that over. Then he sat up and leaned against the wall. “Come here.”
Creed pulled me against his chest so that I was facing away. He kept one arm wrapped across the front of my shoulders. I felt him take a deep breath.
Saylor had told me Creed could sing extremely well. I believed it; even the low rumble of his speaking voice had a commanding quality to it. But nothing prepared me for the raw, beautiful sound of the music he made. After a moment I recognized the song he was singing. It was a soulful rendition of ‘Have You Ever Seen the Rain’. I wondered if he’d chosen it because of the name of the group it belonged to. I’d heard quite a bit of live singing over the years. Much of it was rote, perfunctory. What Creedence was able to do with a song was a rare thing. All the hard-headed reserve he usually covered himself with was gone. He felt every note he sang. He made me feel it all too.
I didn’t move until the last note was done. I hoped he would start with another song but he just sighed and kissed my shoulder. I turned and found his mouth. We kissed for a long time and then he gently rolled me over and opened my legs. He ended up doing exactly what he’d meant to do when he knocked on my door tonight; he made me come until I screamed and
then he fell asleep on my breasts after he finished taking what he needed.
Sleep eluded me for a long time. I listened to the way he breathed and admired the strong muscles rising and falling under my hands. I began to recognize something terrifying.
I could fall for Creedence Gentry. I could fall for him so hard I might not ever get back up.
I was already halfway there.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
CREED
I left her before the sun came up. Truly was confused, trying to hold me in the darkness, and I didn’t know what to tell her. I ran my hand through her hair as she looked at me sleepily, her head returning to the pillow.
“Be careful not to let the cat out,” she said, smiling a little because it was what she’d said to me the first time we spent the night together.
I kissed her and stood. That first night was supposed to be the only night. Now I didn’t know what the hell was supposed to happen. I hadn’t gone looking for this. A few months ago I’d stood quietly by and watched my own brother go ape shit over a girl. I never thought that insanity would find me.
But here it was. Even when Truly pissed me off – like she did last night when she pulled away and pouted – I still thought she was fucking perfect. Every word she said had my full attention. Every move she made was beautiful. The idea of any other man ever putting his hands on her body again was enough to make my head roar and my fists tighten. With a jolt I realized I hadn’t looked at another woman since I saw Truly Lee walk into The Hole.
I didn’t know if she understood how much she had me by the balls. What should a man say to drive that point home? Should he say anything at all?
Especially when he might not be in one fucking piece for long.
That was a dark thought. I couldn’t shake it off though, remembering the mess that had been made out of Emilio.
The damn cat was staring at me again. It seemed less hostile now, or maybe it was me who was less hostile. I knelt down in the living room and the animal blinked at me before creeping forward. Dolly was her name, I remembered. She purred under my hand and tried to get closer.
“Told you we would revisit this shit,” I whispered, oddly pleased that the thing had apparently decided that I didn’t suck. I ran my hand over her silky fur for a few more seconds before heading out.
The dim morning air held a hint of fall chill but I knew it would get hot later. It was always hot.
There were few people in sight on the walk back to my place. When I reached my front door I remembered that I didn’t have my keys with me. The night before, I’d jumped right over the patio wall when I heard Cord and Saylor starting to pull each other’s clothes off in a mad frenzy. My keys were most likely on the couch where I had tossed them before I went outside.
I walked around to the patio in the hopes the door would be still be open like I’d left it. Instead I found Chase.
“What the hell are you doing out here?”
He held up a bottle in the shadows. “Having a beer.”
“At six am?”
“Yeah. You want one?”
“No.”
Chase smiled and took a long drink. I waited until he was done. “Were you waiting up for me?”
Chase looked up at the fading moon. Sunrise was near. “I was talking to Cord.”
I leaned against the wall and rubbed my eyes. They burned. I needed sleep. “Where is Cord?”
“He went back to bed.” My brother took a deep breath in the dark. I could feel his eyes on me. “Did you have fun watching the fight?”
I didn’t answer right away because I didn’t want to talk about that. I wanted to remove it from my mind. “The guy got pretty fucked up,” I admitted.
Chase let out an odd chuckle. “Fucked up. Yeah, he did.”
“What, were you there or something?”
“No. I told Cord where you were so he made some calls.” Chase tipped the beer bottle back and emptied it down his throat. “I guess you didn’t hear.”
“Hear what? Jesus, Chase, can you come clean about what you’re getting at?”
“He’s not fucked up, Creedence. He’s dead.”
“Bullshit.” I said the word. I heard it hanging in the air with a note of hope. But I knew Chase was telling the truth.
“Afraid not, Big C. He was deposited at the county medical center with a crushed skull. Bleeding in the brain or something. I don’t know. He’s dead all the same.”
The ground no longer felt solid beneath my feet. I tried to summon the image of Emilio’s self-assured grin but couldn’t.
Chase stood up. He pulled his arm back and then let the beer bottle fly through the air. It landed somewhere in the parking lot with a mighty crash.
“Damn,” he said softly. “I missed. I was aiming for the windshield of that fucking Escalade.”
“Yeah, you never could throw for shit.”
We stayed in the darkness together, side by side, until the earliest rays of light began to play across the ground. Chase had always been a talker, a wisecracking pain in the ass with a smart answer to all of the good and the ugly in life. But as he stood next to me I felt his struggle to come up with some words, any words, in the face of awful things.
“Think I’ll go get some sleep,” I finally said.
“Yeah,” he nodded. “I’m gonna shower so I can smell pretty for class.”
“You don’t have any class, remember?”
His laugh came out as a cough and he started to go indoors. Suddenly he pivoted and hugged me briefly, awkwardly. He didn’t say another word before retreating inside. When I heard a door shut and the shower start I went to the kitchen. I’d left a pack of cigarettes on top of the fridge. Filthy habit, I didn’t pick them up often. They reminded me of someone I didn’t like to think about.
I went back to the porch and lit a cigarette but didn’t inhale. I knew there was no point in lying down. Sleep wasn’t coming. I wished I hadn’t left Truly’s bed. For the hours I’d spent holding her, my mind had stopped warring with itself for a while. But I was afraid if I stayed then I would blurt out all the crap that was weighing on my mind; the fears I had for myself, for my brothers. I didn’t have any right to shove all that trash on her.
Truly was still something of a mystery. She was caring and gorgeous and she excited the living hell out of me. She’d given hints that her past was complicated but I didn’t push her to talk about it. I just listened to whatever she did want to tell me. There was some painful history there; that much was clear. If she thought any of it would matter to me enough to let go of her then she was wrong.
The sun quickly began to exert its power over the desert and I started to sweat sitting out there on the patio. I heard Chase trudge off to whatever he did in a day. Saylor and Cord woke up and milled around in the kitchen, going about their morning routine. From what I heard of their conversation, it sounded as if he hadn’t filled her in on what happened last night. I listened to her trying to brightly chatter away before she paused, asking him what was wrong. He gave her single syllable answers and then kissed her before she left with a sigh.
A few seconds after I heard the front door close, Cord poked his head out on the patio.
“You can come inside now,” he said.
I sighed. I’d burned through the whole pack of cigarettes although I’d only inhaled a few times.
Cordero sat on the couch. He was wearing one of his frayed old shirts and sporting new ink on his left arm, a complex tribal tattoo.
“You do that?” I asked, pointing.
He didn’t look. He leaned forward with his elbows on his knees and stared at me with the same blue eyes I saw in the mirror every day. “Sit down, man.”
I sank down next to him. Chase always cranked the air conditioning way up. As I leaned against the couch the blowing air chilled my sweaty skin. I figured Cord might lecture me about running off to watch the fight last night without even telling him anything about it. Then he’d probably drag me to the gym for a workout
and to try to sort out everything he might know about beating a fighter like Jester.
You.
When I closed my eyes I saw that son of a bitch pointing his finger at me with a grin. When I closed them again I saw Emilio’s head lying in a pool of blood.
Cord didn’t say anything of the kind though. He said something else.
“I’m dealing with this shit. All right? I’m taking the fight.”
I looked at him. He meant it. Gabe had been itching for Cord to take my place since he was the more proven fighter. If Cord had called Gabe already…
“No fucking way,” I said, standing. “You are not taking the fight. I will break your goddamn leg if I have to.”
He smiled a little grimly. “You would, wouldn’t you?”
“You’re damn right I would. And when I’m done I’ll hold you down and let Saylor break the other one if that’s what it takes to keep you home.”
His head dropped at the mention of Saylor’s name.
“Cord,” I said softly, sitting down again, “you didn’t already volunteer, right? Tell me you fucking didn’t.”
He didn’t look up. “I fucking didn’t.”
I relaxed a little. “I can do this. You should see this guy. Who the hell wants to root for a crazy-eyed racist?”
Cord’s eyes found me then. They were haunted. “I’ve got some money saved.”
I shrugged. “So? You planning on placing a bet?”
“No. I’m giving it to you. You could clear out of here for a while until all this blows over.”
He didn’t understand the stakes, not like I did. I hated to crush the note of hope in his voice. “Won’t work. Gabe will just come after you guys.”
Cord snorted with scorn. “Yeah okay, let him. I’m pretty sure I could take that shithead down with one tap.”
“He won’t come himself, Cordero. He’ll send someone else.”
My brother sighed. He looked around the apartment. “Then we’ll all go. You guys always wanted to get out of Arizona anyway. Might be nice. Fresh start and all. There’s no way you can convince me Gabe Hernandez has a multi-state reach.”