by Cora Brent
Declan nodded to us soberly. “Now go on. Get out of here. You stick around too long and you might wake the beast.”
That was all Saylor needed to hear. She pulled me back to the car and we left Declan Gentry standing there in the hot sun.
When we’d reached the relative safety of downtown Emblem I asked Saylor a question. “Just how scary is the beast?”
“Benton Gentry? He’s the scariest goddamn thing I ever saw.” She shuddered.
As we headed back to the valley I looked in the rearview mirror at the place Creed had come from. I wanted so badly to be in his arms.
“I’d like to see a lot of things, places where there’s not just brown dust and heat. And I’m takin’ you with me, baby.”
A hideously sick feeling washed over me. It was heartbreaking loss, or rather the threat of it.
This is what happened when you risked holding someone in your arms all night long.
It’s what happened when you began to feel as if your day meant nothing unless the man who’d carved his name into your heart was with you.
Such things could go terribly wrong. You might find yourself gouged out, bereft. You’d wonder if breathing would ever come easily again.
I pulled the car to the shoulder of the road, my hands locked onto the steering wheel for dear life. Saylor watched me silently.
“It hurts,” I choked out. I was crying again. I wasn’t just crying for Creed, but she didn’t know that. “It hurts so much.”
She hugged me. “I know. I know it does.”
We sobbed together for a little while before we drove home.
CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR
CREED
“She didn’t tell you where she was going?” Cord asked with a frown.
“No,” I answered, taking a sip of coffee. “Why don’t you try her phone again?”
Cord pounded out a text message, then stared at the screen for a minute. “Was she upset about something?”
Yes.
But I did the gutless thing. I shrugged, which in this case was the same as lying to my brother.
I didn’t have time to think about that though because Chase lumbered into the kitchen. He looked awful.
“You sick?” I asked him sarcastically as he fumbled around in the kitchen cabinet.
“Yeah,” he coughed. “I’m sick.”
I set my coffee down. Cord shot me a warning look. The look said, Don’t do this right now. It’ll just go badly and won’t solve a thing.
I answered his look with one of my own.
I have to.
“Come here, little brother.” I pulled a chair out.
Chase eyed me cautiously but sat down. As soon as he was there I lost whatever words were in my head. I just looked at them, both of them. I’d been looking at Chase and Cord my whole life and it didn’t seem nearly long enough. In twenty two years I’d never spent a day without them. That meant something else too. It meant they’d never spent a day without me.
We all turned at the sound of the door opening. Saylor walked in, followed by Truly. They both appeared grim and pale. My stomach did a little backflip.
Cord went right to Say, hugging her. “Where’d you go, babe?”
She tried to smile. “We just had a girl’s outing. I’m fine.” She glanced at Truly. “We’re fine, right?”
Truly didn’t answer. She was staring at me. Something about the way she stared at me unleashed a trumpet of alarm.
I took her hand and led her back to my room, leaving the rest of them behind. I heard Cord questioning Saylor and her tired responses. Chase was quiet.
It was the first time Truly and I had ever gone to a bedroom without our hands all over each other. She crossed her arms and leaned against the closed door. I sat on the edge of the bed and waited for her to say something.
“I thought,” she said, blinking away tears, “that it was like a game. That you were just going to go throw a few punches, maybe suffer some bruises, and that would be it.” Her voice broke. “But that might not be it. Right, Creed?”
This was even worse than making Saylor cry. “I can’t get out of it, honey. I’m sorry.”
Truly nodded miserably. “I know.” She inhaled deeply, exhaling slowly. “So when is it?”
There was no point in lying. I couldn’t lie to her anyway. “Day after tomorrow.”
“Can I go?”
“No!” I hadn’t meant to shout. But the idea of Truly standing there on the sidelines in the midst of all that violence was awful.
She didn’t seem surprised though. “Day after tomorrow,” she repeated softly. “And what happens after that, Creedence?”
I had to lay it out on the table. I owed her that much. “Either I’ll be around or I won’t be.”
A soft cry escaped her lips. She immediately put her hand over her mouth as if to pull the sound back inside.
I couldn’t fucking stand it. I stood up. “Baby.”
She collided with me, burying her face in my shoulder. I stroked her hair and wished I could make her promises. It would be selfish to give them to her now though. It would only hurt her more if I wasn’t around to keep them.
Truly lifted her head and placed her hands on either side of my face. “Damn you, Creedence Gentry.” She kissed my lips and then left the room. I heard Saylor calling her name as she walked out the front door but she didn’t answer.
There were murmured voices in the next room but I didn’t join them. I sat down in the middle of the floor. Life, it seemed, had come to a standstill. This shit I’d gotten mixed up in was consuming us all. Everyone I gave a damn about was in pain.
When a shadow darkened my doorway I looked up. Chase was standing there with my coffee cup. He held it out to me. “Warmed it up in the microwave.”
“Thanks” I said, accepting the cup.
Chase nodded and trudged off to his own room. They all went about their business as best they could. Cord left for work. Chase went to school. Saylor was still around but she stayed away from me. I didn’t blame her.
The knock at the front door brought me to my feet in an instant. I hoped it was Truly, even though I knew it was better if it wasn’t.
Instead, when I opened the door I saw someone unexpected.
“Deck,” I said, more than a little surprised. He was living down in Emblem and the last time he’d made it up to Tempe was a year ago. Since we weren’t in the habit of making casual visits to our hometown we hadn’t seen him since, although he did call every so often.
My cousin grinned at me. Five years older than us, Declan Gentry was a wild scoundrel and we’d grown up doing our best to be just like him. He was always in and out of trouble, always in and out of the beds of half the women in Emblem from the time he knew what to do with his dick. His daddy, our Uncle Chrome, was the original model. Even though Chrome was Benton’s brother and had all the same hard edges, he had none of his cruelty, at least not towards us. Chrome was the only one who had ever bothered to take the time to teach us what it meant to be men.
“Can I come in or what?” Declan asked. He had the dark, sensual looks of his mother but his cocky grin was all Gentry.
I held the door and let him through it. Before I shut it again I saw Deck’s bike in the parking lot. I wondered what kind of a whim brought him up here but that was Deck; you wouldn’t hear from him for months and then he would just show up one day.
“Glad to see you, man,” I said and meant it, slapping him on the back.
He stopped in the middle of the living room and looked around. “Glad to see you too.” He pushed his hair out of his eyes and crossed his arms. “What’s new, Creedence?”
Saylor poked her head into the room. Declan nodded to her. She seemed oddly unsurprised to see him.
“Thought I heard you,” she said.
“You thought right.” He glanced at me and cleared his throat. “Anyone feel like offering a guy a glass of water?”
Saylor went to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water fr
om the fridge. She handed it to him as she avoided looking at me.
“I’ll leave you two alone,” she muttered and then went back to her room.
Declan quickly drank the entire bottle of water. When he finished he flattened it between his hands. “You gonna talk, cuz?”
He knew something was up. His sudden appearance was too much of a coincidence.
“What have you heard, Deck?”
My cousin sighed. “That you’re in over your head.”
I laughed but there was no humor in it. “Nah, not over my head. I might be losing my head actually. That’s all.”
Declan sat on the couch. “Why didn’t you call me?”
I sat next to him. “Who did call you?”
He didn’t answer the question. “You know much about this guy?”
“I’ve seen him fight. Name’s Jester.”
“I know.”
“Yeah? What else do you know?”
“That he did time up in the Kingman facility, that he runs with a pack of rabid dogs who seem to believe they are remnants of the Third Reich.” Declan paused. He removed a cigarette from his pocket but didn’t light it. “And that he’s killed more than a handful of men for fun and profit.”
I didn’t doubt Declan’s words at all. Even if I hadn’t seen Jester crush Emilio’s skull I knew my cousin had the answers to just about every question.
Deck flicked his lighter but still didn’t light the cigarette. He exhaled raggedly. “Wish I could get you out of this.”
I didn’t doubt that either. Declan may seem hard as nails but he had a soft spot for the three of us. Always had. Just like his dad.
“You sticking around for a while?” I asked him.
He nodded. “At least for a few days. I’ll see you through this, Creed.” He looked around again. “Think I’ll find a nicer place to sleep though. There are a few options I can choose from.” He grinned. “I just need to pick one.”
I stood up when he did. Deck slapped me on the shoulder. “I’m gonna go track down some rumors. I’ll be back later. In the meantime, try to keep your head together. No juice and no women.” He gave me a mischievous look and I wondered if there was any way in hell he could know about Truly. “They have a way of interfering with a man’s focus.”
Declan walked out of the apartment. A moment later I heard the engine of his bike gunning to life. I sat down again.
“He left?” Saylor asked. I hadn’t heard her come out of her room.
“Yeah, for now. He’ll be back.”
She nodded and went to the kitchen. She looked in the cabinets and then scowled when she didn’t find much there. I followed her.
“You went to him.”
Saylor leaned against the sink and nervously played with her hair. “Yes. I talked to Declan.” She shrugged. “I thought if anyone could help then he could.”
“So that’s where you girls went this morning? To Emblem?”
She dropped her hair and looked me in the eye. “Yes. I went to Emblem and I took Truly with me. This shit doesn’t just affect you.”
“I know that, Saylor.”
“She’s hurting.”
“I know that too.”
She closed her eyes and a lone tear trickled down her cheek. “I’m sorry, Creed. I’m sorry if I interfered. I just couldn’t stand sitting around and watching you march to your own doom.” She winced. “Sorry again. That was melodramatic.”
I was surprised. Saylor seemed honestly grieved by the idea of me getting hurt.
“You pal around with Chase,” I said quietly.
She raised her eyes. They were curious. “Yeah? So?”
“So we’ve had kind of a tough time, you and me. It seemed better if I just stayed out of your way. I figured I was just something you put up with, for Cord’s sake.”
She was shaking her head even before I finished talking.
“No,” she said immediately. “No, Creedence. You’re not just something just I put up with. You’re my family too.”
“Well, damn,” I said softly because I didn’t know how to answer the months of misunderstandings between us.
“You could win, right?” she said hopefully. “I mean look at you. You’re like a brick wall. And even if you don’t win it doesn’t mean…” She couldn’t finish her sentence. She bit her lip and stared at the floor.
“No,” I soothed her. “It doesn’t mean I’m not coming home.”
She gave me a watery smile and I grew thoughtful.
“You know, when I was growing up one of my favorite people on earth was my Uncle Chrome. I’d love to be that, the favorite uncle.”
Saylor laughed a little. “You might have to battle Chase for the honor.”
“Maybe it’s an honor we can share.”
“Yeah,” she smiled broadly. “I think it is.”
“Hey, Saylor? Will you help me with something?”
“Of course.”
“I need to do some shopping. I figure maybe I could find what I’m looking for on Craigslist.”
She seemed perplexed but still willing. “All right. Let me get my computer.”
I waited for her in the kitchen. I wasn’t big on grand gestures but there was just one I needed to tackle. I needed to do it before the lights could go out.
CHAPTER TWENTY FIVE
Truly
After leaving Creed I went straight to work. I tied an apron around my waist and I smiled pleasantly at the customers. But inside I was numb. I finally had to admit to myself just how much Creed Gentry meant to me. It should have been wonderful but instead it was terrible. I remembered feeling this way before. It was years ago, in a lonely hospital bed. I remembered staring at a calendar on the wall and hating it for all the days it contained. I didn’t want to face any more days. But life doesn’t give you that option. It just keeps going and if you have an ounce of spirit left in you then you do your damn best to get through it.
Saylor had the night off and I didn’t know whether to be glad about that or not. I missed her at work, but she was also a reminder of everything I might lose.
Mega bitch Julie knocked into me a few times when my hands were full but I didn’t do anything about it. I just didn’t have it in me.
Time passed with excruciating slowness. Around seven pm I figured I should eat something so I took a break. I grabbed a sandwich from the kitchen and sat down at a table. I shouldn’t have done that. When I looked across at the empty chair all I could see was Creedence. I’ve never been a frequent crier, yet the waterworks turned on all by themselves for the second time that day. I stared into my lap and silently watched the tears fall into it.
“Truly,” said a voice that was firm but not unkind. “Please come to my office.”
Julie was smirking at me as I followed Ed into the closet-like office beyond the restrooms. I sat miserably in a metal folding chair across from his desk as he settled into his own chair and frowned at me. Dimly I wondered if I was about to get fired.
Ed cleared his throat. “Look I know I’m just the jerk who sits behind the desk and gives you crap about how to do your job.” He sighed. “But I’m not completely awful.”
A picture on his desk caught my eye. It was Ed standing on the shoreline of a pristine beach. Beside him was a sweet-faced woman who must have been his wife. His hands were resting on the shoulders of two little boys.
“I know you’re not,” I told him.
He nodded. “You’re a very responsible young lady. A good worker.” He laced his fingers together on his desk and gave me a long, appraising look. “Truly, do you need a few days off?”
I was surprised. I’d expected to hear words more along the lines of, “Get your shit together and serve some chicken.”
“I can’t lose my job,” I told him flatly.
Ed smiled. “I believe we can make it without you for a few days. Please return when you can. Your job will still be here.”
I nearly began sobbing again. Really, I was turning into something of a b
asket case. But after spending hours teetering on an emotional edge, I was nothing but grateful to meet with unexpected kindness.
“Thank you,” I whispered. I stood up and took the two steps to the door.
“Truly?” Ed ventured. I turned around. He was staring at the photo of his family. “Just because things aren’t ideal doesn’t mean they’re not worth keeping.” I didn’t know what made him say that. I figured he was talking about himself, about the mix of joys and disappointments he’d known in his life. I thanked him again and left.
No one talked to me as I grabbed my purse and ran out the door. It wasn’t quite dark yet and on any other night I would have been counting down the hours until I was in Creed’s arms. I started my car and miserably realized I couldn’t go to him, remembering what Declan Gentry had said.
“Don’t show him that shit. It’ll mess with his head.”
I drove home instead.
Honestly, I’d clean forgotten all about my troubled roommate and her bat-swinging ways until I reached my door. I had to knock because I hadn’t yet replaced the key I’d broken earlier.
Stephanie must have been hunkered down in the living room because she answered within a few seconds. She was wearing a long black t-shirt reaching nearly to her knees and her hair appeared damp. She smelled like shampoo and still carried her bat.
“Hey Steph,” I said warily, feeling some guilt over how I’d forgotten about her as soon as I’d stepped out the door with Saylor.
She picked a book up off the couch and peered between the vinyl slats of the patio blinds. “I fixed it,” she said. “The door, I mean.”
“Thanks. I’ll get a new key tomorrow.” I pointed to the book she was clutching to her chest. “What are you reading?”
Stephanie held it up for me.
“The Hobbit?” I was surprised. Somehow the classic fantasy tale didn’t seem very Stephanie-like.
She gave me a tired smile. “For sentimental reasons.”
I cleared my throat. “Sugar, I think it’s time you and I had a talk.”
“Fine,” she sighed. “But don’t call me sugar.”
I waited until she sat on the couch before joining her. She realized she still had the bat in one hand and the book in the other. She dropped both of them on the floor.