by Niecey Roy
“Damn it, Lexie,” he said, sounding tired. Tired of me, maybe.
“I’m going to come over. Is that okay?” I held my breath waiting for his answer.
“You can’t drive.”
“I’ll take a cab.”
After a moment of silence, he said, “I’ll come and get you. You know Roxanna’s home, though.”
I’d been the one to insist we keep us a secret, afraid of announcing our involvement to the world. I’d been the one lying to everyone around me, and to myself. I was tired of it. I only cared about being with him.
“I don’t care.”
“Okay then,” he said. “But you’re not taking a cab—I’m coming to get you. I’ll see you soon.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
I’d been sleeping cozy in Leo’s arms, in his bed, when he called out in his sleep. The pain in his voice startled me. I kissed him awake from the nightmare, and he hugged me to him so tight, I’d been a little afraid. When his heartbeat calmed, I settled against his chest and felt the vibration of his voice against my cheek. It was sometime after sunrise, and I traced the tattoos on his arm, staring at the light spilling through the crack in the shades over the window as I listened to him talk.
“We were both sent in on the same mission, different teams. Mine went in after Jason’s. When I got there, there wasn’t much left but rubble and bodies. When I found him, he was holding his stomach where a piece of shrapnel went almost clean through.”
My throat closed in on itself at the pain in his voice, and I held him closer because I worried my own heart would burst. Roxanna said Leo didn’t speak about that day, and I wondered if he’d been carrying the nightmare inside, alone, all this time. It made me sick to my stomach. I wanted to soothe him, to wrap him up and shelter him from the pain so he’d never have to feel it again. It was what he’d do for me.
“I held him until he took his last breath. I didn’t even realize we were still under fire. I don’t remember getting shot up. I woke up in the infirmary, and Jason was gone.”
My face was wet with tears I didn’t realize I’d been crying. I squeezed myself to him and kissed his chest. When I looked up into his eyes, wet with tears, I choked back a sob, because it wasn’t fair to him. “I’m so sorry, Leo. I wish I could…”
I stopped, because I didn’t know what to say. Take away the pain? Bring back his brother? I couldn’t do any of those things. What he had gone through, what he’d lost, was so much bigger than anything I’d ever experienced. It made my troubles seem petty, and I swallowed back shame. I might lose my boutique, have some tough choices ahead, but I was alive. I didn’t wake up with nightmares of holding someone I loved while they breathed their last breath.
Leaning up, I kissed him on the lips. “I’m glad you were there for him.”
His gaze was so intense, I couldn’t look away. “I know I hurt you when I broke up with you, Lex.”
I held my breath. This is it. After all this time, he was finally going to tell me the one question I had ached to know the answer to.
He put his hands on either side of my face, his thumbs stroking my cheek so gently, it weighed heavy on my heart. “I was so in love with you. I don’t think you know just how much I loved you.”
I gave a small shake of my head. “I wasn’t sure. You said…but then that letter.”
He kissed me then tucked me into his arms. I closed my eyes and listened to his breathing. “Thinking about you, looking at your picture, was what got me through every day. Those first two months in Iraq…I saw so many soldiers come back injured. Saw my friends die.” He shuddered. “We were just kids, and we were dying. I didn’t want that for you; I didn’t want you waiting and wondering every day if I was okay, if I was coming back.”
“That’s why you broke up with me?” I blinked at my tears. The note of disbelief in my voice was not because I didn’t believe him, but because I couldn’t believe he’d cared for me so much and had been so selfless. I wasn’t sure I could ever have done the same for him if it meant my heart breaking the way it had after reading his letter telling me to move on.
“I wanted you to have a life, Lexie. One where you weren’t putting yours on hold for me. I wasn’t sure I was going to make it home.”
There was so much I wanted to say, so many words I felt, but I wasn’t sure if this was the right moment to say them. “Leo…”
“Sssshhh,” he whispered and pulled me up onto his chest to press his lips against mine.
He made it easy for me; every kiss, every touch. Falling into him wasn’t a question, not when I closed my eyes and let his body lead mine in a dance we had perfected. I kissed him like I couldn’t get enough, because I couldn’t. He was so warm, his body so firm and strong—I would give him everything in this moment, because he needed it, and so did I.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Life doesn’t always go the way you plan it to—that was a fact I’d come to realize in such a short time after my relationship with Jeremy went up in flames. There were days I’d been mostly bitter, hated those who had betrayed me, hurt me, manipulated me—and I’d dwelled on that negativity. Ever since leaving Jeremy at the altar, I had fought to guard my heart against the damage those people had inflicted instead of facing it—instead of facing them.
I strolled into LM Security a few days later wearing a sexy navy blue pencil skirt and cream ruffled blouse and a pair of blue and cream buckle heels—a smart and sassy ensemble to match my mood, and my intentions. Nothing could wipe the smile off my face, because this girl had a plan; a plan that only my best friend could help me accomplish. The secretary, a twenty-something woman with black tortoise shell glasses and rose pink lipstick greeted me with a smile.
“Hello. May I help you?” she asked politely.
“Yes, I’m here to see Roxanna. Is she in yet?” I hoped she was, because she hadn’t answered my phone calls.
“They’re in a team meeting, but should be done in a few minutes.” She looked down at her computer. “Yes, in five minutes. Would you like some coffee while you wait?”
I shook my head. “I just had a latte. But thank you.”
While I waited, I read the New York Times, shaking my heeled foot to the country music playing on low volume, jittery with all the pent up excitement. There was a newspaper article I couldn’t wait to show to Roxanna. I felt—no, I knew—this was the turning point in my entire crappy predicament. The disastrous phone call with Deborah had been more important—and necessary—than I’d imagined.
“Hey, Princess, what are you doing here?”
I sucked in a breath at the sight of Leo dressed in a black suit, looking like some kind of man-candy from a government espionage movie set. There were two men in identical suits flanking him. They were just as big as Leo. The three of them together were an intimidating sight.
“Where are you going dressed like that?” My eyes were on the bulge at his side just under the suit jacket. “Is that a gun?” My knees numbed, and the warmth drained from my face.
His easy gait carried him to me in four long strides, and his arms wrapped around me. A good thing. My legs were wobbly. “Private security for a celebrity. No big deal.”
No big deal?
“Is that gun loaded?” The guys behind him chuckled, and I stiffened. “I’m serious,” I said, although it really was a silly question. But still. “Can’t you send someone else?”
He leaned down and kissed me on the lips. “No. And it’s not dangerous, I promise. Just a brat hip-hop star who likes having bodyguards around him in every city he’s performing in. His manager says the kid thinks the bodyguards make him look more important. Don’t stress about it, okay?”
“But does he have a reason for a bodyguard? Like threats on his life or something?” I had just finished watching one of those crime scene investigative shows where an actress was murdered because of an obsessed fan. “What if—”
“You sneaky jerks,” Roxanna said from behind us, and I peeked around Leo’s ar
m. My friend stood beside the big guys in suits. Her arms were crossed, and she wore a triumphant smile on her lips. “I knew something was going on between you guys. I thought I heard you sneaking out yesterday.”
I grinned. “I wasn’t sneaking out. I walked out. I also left you a note to call me, which you didn’t do.”
“Yes, well, I was making you sweat it, but I see you haven’t been.”
I laughed. “No. I haven’t been.”
“Your twin owes me twenty bucks,” Roxanna said.
“I’m sure she’ll be thrilled to hear. She also mentioned the bet was your idea, so good luck getting the money out of her.” I pressed my hand to Leo’s chest and smiled up at him. Being out in the open with our relationship was invigorating.
Gazing into my eyes, Leo’s words were for Roxanna, “This is a thing now. Don’t make a big deal about it, okay?”
I gave Roxanna a cute smile, and she crossed her eyes.
“Whatever, boss man. You break her heart, and I’ll break your…” She considered her words as she took in Leo’s chiseled body. “Just because you’re all massive muscles, doesn’t mean I won’t find something to break on you. Got it?”
I held my breath for his response.
He squeezed my hand in his. “I don’t plan on it.”
“So much feisty from such a little girl,” one of the men said with a laugh.
Roxanna socked him on his huge bicep, but he didn’t even blink. “You know it. Now you guys get out of here. Lexie obviously came to see me.” Roxanna tilted her head and peered at me. “Right?”
“Right.” I nodded. Turning to Leo, I said, “Be safe, okay?”
He leaned down and kissed me again. “I’ll see you later, babe.”
Roxanna made a gagging noise. “God, if you two are going to be like this from now on, I’m going to die. Relation here,” she said and jerked her thumb to her chest.
I hooked my arm through hers. “Knock it off. I came to see you, and I think you’ll be very excited about what I brought with me.”
She perked up. “Ooohhh. Sounds interesting.” She swung me around, away from Leo and said over her shoulder, “She’s mine now. Go away.”
“Just behave,” Leo said, and his next words made us stop in our tracks. “No more public confrontations with the ex.”
“Busted,” Roxanna whispered. She whirled around, forcing me to turn with her. “How’d you find out about it?”
“Catherine mentioned it when I changed her tire. Something about a top hat and a cane and Jeremy getting slapped.” His head cocked to the side. “Not that I disapprove of that slap.”
He hadn’t said a word about it these last two days, and his expression told me it’d been bothering him. He raised his brows at me, and the men behind him stood in identical postures of not-buying-this-garbage. Jeez, I would never last in an interrogation.
“It was no big deal,” I said, sounding much like Roxanna. His expression told me it really was a big deal. “I mean, it was a big deal. But not really a big deal. We had to talk to him, because Roxanna said it was the only option.”
“Hey.” Roxanna glared at me. “We all thought it was a good idea.”
“Right,” I corrected. “I thought it was a good idea. I feel really bad that I didn’t tell you,” I said in a rush. “I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, what she said,” Roxanna added.
“You had to talk to him about what?” Leo finally asked after I’d squirmed under his gaze for too long. The man had skills.
“Because she’s about to lose her boutique and might have to file bankruptcy because of that bitch, Deborah Buchanan,” Roxanna blurted.
My mouth dropped open at her words, and Leo’s eyes softened.
“Lex, why didn’t you tell me?” He closed the distance between us and pulled me into his arms. “Is this what you’ve been so—”
“Bat-shit crazy?” Roxanna interrupted. “Yes. So don’t get mad about our failed attempt at coercing Jeremy into a truce with his family.”
I couldn’t have put it better—Roxanna had a way with words.
He squeezed me one more time before letting me go. “No more schemes, you two. I mean it.” His stare was serious, and we both nodded. “We’ll talk about this later and figure something out. Together.”
“Okay,” I said, though I had no intention of letting him fix anything for me. This was my fight, and I had the solution. Finally. After next week, I would be in charge of my life again. Taking control made me giddy.
“Good.” He nodded, dropping one last kiss on my lips.
“Oh!” I said when he’d gotten two steps away. “Dinner at my parents’ tomorrow, remember?”
His smile warmed my insides to a gooey marshmallow mess. “I remember. See you later, Princess.”
“Gag,” Roxanna said, and I glared at her while Leo and his security men stepped into the elevator which would take them to the lobby.
When the doors closed on them, I elbowed Roxanna in the side again. “What the hell, Rox?”
She shrugged. “What? By the way, very lame of you not to tell me about you and Leo.”
“I know, sorry.” I stopped walking when she halted in front of a door with a keycard security panel. “But not as lame as you not telling me about Blake.”
Her eyes widened. “So Leo squealed on me.”
“Why didn’t you tell me Blake was back in town?”
“I don’t know. It didn’t seem important. We just met for dinner a couple of times. He’s already gone.” She shrugged and turned to swipe the keycard she wore around her neck on a lanyard. “Now, I’m going to blow your mind.”
The fact the door required keycard security made me nervous.
“What’s behind this door? Are you sure we’re supposed to be in here?” I glanced behind us down the hall, half expecting Leo to turn the corner and bust us.
“Don’t be a wimp. I have a key to the door.” She waved the keycard at me. “And besides, the dangerous stuff is behind another security panel, and only Leo and my uncle have keys to that.” Roxanna pushed the door open and tugged me in behind her. She whirled with her arms wide. “Voilà!”
The walls of the room were lined with tactical gear, batons, tasers, what looked like flak jackets, even those plastic restraint-thingies I’d seen on an old episode of Alias. I’d probably watched it with Roxanna, it was another one of her favorite shows. There were lots of shelves with things like pepper spray, smoke grenades, and I couldn’t help but wonder if all this stuff was necessary for security detail for the rich and the famous.
My eyes took the room in again in a quick, nervous sweep. “Um, this is a little intimidating. How about we have our discussion in your office?”
“We’re here because you need a taser gun. Every girl should have protection. If you don’t want to carry it in your purse, keep it in your apartment or in your glove box. You never know when some psycho might attack you.” She pulled me across the room to a black metal shelf. “I’m surprised Leo hasn’t forced one on you already. I’m going to save him a step and give it to you myself.”
Shaking my head, I took a step backward. “No, that’s okay. I’m not really comfortable with the idea of packing a taser gun.”
“Since when did you become such a wimp?”
“Since when?” I raised my brows at her. Everyone knew I was a wimp. The very idea of someone getting hurt, physically, made me queasy. I couldn’t even watch one of those tasteless jackass videos where the people did idiotic stunts and ended up with broken arms. The idea of it now made me shudder. If I had to taser someone, I’d pee my pants and then vomit on my shoes. Even the sight of blood from a small cut was enough to make me pass out.
“Okay, since always. But this is life, Lexie.” Roxanna took a taser gun off the shelf. She shoved it at me, but I wouldn’t take it. “If some psycho attacks you and all you do is stand there because you’re scared you might hurt him, you will die. Probably slowly. You might even be tortured first.”
“Not yet.” She opened a drawer, and when she turned around to face me, she held a large can of…
“Is that pepper spray? I already have one in my purse.” I slipped my hand into the side pocket and produced the cute little can I’d purchased from a hunting and sporting goods store. It was even pink. And no, a hunting and sporting goods store wasn’t the kind of establishment I frequented often, but I’d gone to help my mom and sisters pick out a gift for my dad. The can looked dinky compared to the one in Roxanna’s hand. “And that can is really ugly.”
“I agree, but that pink bottle of yours isn’t going to bring a psychopath to his knees. You spray him, and then he will kill you.” She shoved the can into my hand. “This has a fast-acting release formula.”
It did have a neat trigger. “Fast-acting? Shouldn’t they all release fast?”
She turned me around and nudged me to the door. “I don’t know. I’m not a pepper spray guru. One of the guys mentioned the advanced formula and something about fast-acting release.”
“Okay, okay. I’ll take the pepper spray if it makes you happy. Now can we get on with the reason I came here?”
I was just glad she hadn’t offered to demonstrate how to use the taser gun. I would rather have Leo take care of the demonstration. Roxanna with a taser gun frightened me, even if she claimed to be comfortable with one. My friend was all about being proactive and ready for the just-in-case scenarios.
“Yes, sheesh. I forgot how impatient you are.” Roxanna shut the door behind us, and the little round light on the keycard pad flashed red.
In conversation, Roxanna had made her office sound like a shoebox when really it was spacious and decorated in trendy contemporary furniture and décor. I doubted any other office in the firm looked like hers. There was a large vase with a zen flower arrangement of lilies and cherry blossoms, and a contemporary painting which looked more like splotches and streaks of paint than anything. But the office definitely was Roxanna, from the black wood desk to the bright red shag throw rug she’d put down in the center of the room.