Adrift

by J F Rogers

  The dolphin hovered before me, nodding its head, making cackling sounds. He dove, then reappeared and spit water at me.

  “Hey!” I raised my hand and dodged, nearly falling off the railing again. “Are you trying to get me wet?”

  He nodded and cackled again.

  “You want me…in there?” I pointed at the lake.

  He threw his head up and down again, sending his body rocking over the surface, then fell sideways.

  How could I pass up a swim with a dolphin? Hopefully, it wouldn’t hurt my ankle. I jumped.

  Kai swam up beside me, his skin slick and rubbery. I grabbed his fin, and he shot off, his powerful body undulating through the lake, pulling me along for the ride. My heart screamed with pure joy. How great it must be to be a dolphin! God’s waters my home, my plaything. This was the next best thing to flying. Kai dipped as if preparing me to go under. I held my breath, and he dove. I kept my eyes open, nothing but clear blue in every direction. Sun rays sparkled, cutting through the water in geometric lines. We reemerged on the surface. I took a deep breath and wiped my hair from my face while Kai’s blowhole spouted. He replaced me on the railing, and I pulled myself up.

  I let the sun warm my face and tried to hang on to the thrill. I never wanted to leave.

  Kai returned, his clothes sticking to his damp skin.

  “How was that?” He hopped on the railing beside me.

  “That was awesome!” My heart still pounded from exhilaration.

  He ran his fingers through his hair, shaking off the water, flinging droplets at me. Then he threw me a side smile, showing off his dimple. “Ya. There’s nothing like it.”

  “It’s like being in the sky.” I looked at the clouds. “If only I were big enough to bring you.”

  “You’re a bird?”

  “A falcon.”

  He followed my gaze. “That must be incredible.”

  “It’s the most amazing feeling in the world. Soaring above the trees. It’s so quiet. So peaceful. And yet…so thrilling.” I caught him gazing at me, a small smile twitching his lips. “Like being underwater.” Suddenly shy, I watched my feet swirl the water.

  “Ya. It’s—”

  A twig snapped behind us. We turned toward the sound in time to spy a large bird flying away. An eagle?

  Chapter Thirty-One

  ◊◊◊

  KAI’S TUNIC WAS LIKE a dress on me. I hobbled to the couch on the lanai, pulled my feet up next to me, and covered my legs with the shirt. A red-orange sky surrounded the sun descending on the far side of the ocean-sized lake. Never had I experience such luxury, taking in such a view from the comfort of Kai’s outdoor living room.

  Tiny multicolored birds flittered from the rafters. Rác lifted his head as a little bird dropped near. It twittered and flew away, and Rác settled his chin back on its resting place on his front paws.

  All I’d seen so far were small birds. Did eagles exist around here? Did I know any other eagles besides Declan? But it couldn’t be him. There was no way he knew I was here.

  No. It was a bird. Sometimes a bird was just a bird.

  I stared out over the water. Guilt gripped me, choking me, making it hard to breathe never mind think straight. How could I stay here, enjoying this view, frolicking in the water, admiring a guy I’d just met? I had a quest to fulfill and another guy I liked.…

  A guy I hadn’t seen in almost a year. A guy who may or may not still be alive.

  Was I using Declan as an excuse to keep other guys away?

  Or was this a gachen-selkie thing? Was this what happened to Cairbre and Deirdra? Were we destined to fall for each other and never part? Was it my imagination or a magical pull that made me even consider it a real possibility?

  But there was nothing I could do. Not without my friends. Not with a sprained ankle. Right?

  “Dinner is ready.” Kai reached for my hand.

  Everything else melted away as I took his hand. I leaned on him and hobbled into the house. He smelled like trees and air on a cool summer day. I was doomed.

  We transitioned from the stone deck to the tiled floor. Breeze swept through the open windows, and Kai brought me to a table and fish and vegetables.

  “You did all this?” More guilt swept over me. I should have helped.

  “Aye. I even built the table.” He ran his fingers along the smooth surface. “You like it?”

  “It’s beautiful.” Was there anything he couldn’t do? He cooks. He’s handy. The white fish flaked apart. I ate a forkful. “This is so good.” He didn’t just cook—he cooked.

  “I saw how much you liked the fish last night and the vegetable pancake this morning, so I thought you’d enjoy this. No more feamainn.” Winking, he took a bite.

  If an evil force wanted to take me out of the game, luring me to this haven with this perfect specimen of a male was the best course of action. I never wanted to leave.

  ****

  Kai played a stringed instrument on his lap as I sat, shifting my gaze from the stars to him. Wasn’t this the life God wanted for me? Safe. Cared for. Happy. He couldn’t want me to continue with my quest, putting my life on the line, spending my time hungry, tired, and afraid of what might happen next.

  My head lolled forward. Then I snapped awake. Kai stopped playing. He put the instrument aside and sat beside me. “You should rest.”

  “I’m not tired.” I didn’t want the night to end. With my luck, I’d wake to reality and find this was just a dream. I wanted it to last forever.

  He let out a soft chuckle.

  A shivery cry rang out in the night.

  His eyes widened. “What was that?”

  It sounded familiar. “You live here. Haven’t you heard it before?”

  He shook his head and stood, holding his hand out for me to be silent. We waited for the sound to return. Seconds ticked by. A minute. Nothing.

  Where had I heard that cry? I’d seen the bird earlier. And now the cry.

  Declan?

  ****

  Something pinged on the ground, waking me. A breeze swept through. White curtains danced in the moonlight streaming through the window. Hadn’t I closed that?

  I caught a whiff of something. Was that—? No, it couldn’t be the fasgadair scent. Not out here.

  Another ping. Something small and dark bounced along the ground. It came to a rest on the floor beside me. I reached out for it, ready to pull back should the mystery object move. It didn’t. I grasped it. Smooth, hard…a pebble.

  I strained to see beyond the curtains. Nothing but trees swaying in the wind. My feet recoiled from the cold tile. Pulling the blanket around my shoulders, I inched toward the window. Like the people I yelled at in horror films, I crept forward until I leaned out the window and the sides of the house were visible. Nothing. I took a deep breath and retreated toward the bed.

  “Fallon.” My name came in a whisper from a voice that was familiar, yet amiss. The electric fasgadair scent followed it.

  “Kai?” But it wasn’t Kai’s voice.

  “Fallon.” The whisper came again. This time farther away.

  I pulled myself over the windowsill, chastising myself for being so dumb. Like those characters, I, too, deserved to die for my stupidity. Yet curiosity overwhelmed me.

  I hobbled along a dirt path, following more whispers, then rounded a bend in the trees and stopped. The fasgadair scent assaulted my nose, and a figure stood in the moonlight. “Declan?”

  The figure didn’t speak. He emerged from the shadow.

  I gasped. My heart quickened, and I edged forward, reaching out. “Declan.”

  He stepped back, and I lowered my hand. His eyes.

  “No,” I gasped, my own voice a low hiss.

  “I won’t hurt you.” His voice…Declan’s, yet deeper, darker. Venomous.

  “You’re a–a—”

  “A fasgadair.”

  Those words…from his lips. And those eyes�
�� His once beautiful green eyes were now freakish, the green overtaking most of his eyes. The moonlight made them appear to glow. Fighting the urge to run, I crept toward him instead. “Let me help you.”

  Declan retreated. “No.”

  “Why not?”

  “You can’t help me.”

  “My blood can. What is it? Are you afraid you’ll die?”

  “No.” He hung his head, mumbling something like he’d welcome death.

  Then why? Why wouldn’t he let me help? Why would he want to remain this monster? Was it me? He didn’t want me near him? What had I done? His rejection pierced my heart.

  “Is it Kai?” I crept forward again, only for him to lurch back, keeping the same distance between us. “Because there’s nothing—”

  “No.”

  My prior guilt resurfaced. “Is it because of what I did at Bandia? The ships? The fasgadair?”

  “No.”

  I jumped at the sharpness in his voice. “Then why?” Anger burned within. “Why are you here? Have you been following me?” My mind assaulted me with strange memories: the bird following me from the megalith, the missing food on the ship—both times—the bird in my room with Rowan. “You have been following me. From the beginning… You followed us to Kylemore. You stole Rowan’s food. Did you steal Valter’s too? And everyone thought he was being obnoxious.” I placed my hands on my hips and scoffed, shaking my head in disgust. All evidence pointed to Declan. “Why are you spying on me?”

  “I found Pepin. I’ll tell you where to find him.”

  Pepin? My mind swirled with mixed emotions. I’d have to resume my quest. “No.”

  “No?” His freakish eyes bored into my soul.

  “Why should I go anywhere with you? You’re a fasgadair. I can turn you back, but you refuse. Why?”

  “It’s complicated.” He dropped his gaze to the ground.

  “Yeah, I’m sure.”

  “Don’t you care where Pepin is?”

  “No.”

  Declan’s bizarre eyes flashed. His jaw tensed, and his temples pulsed as if holding back inner rage. “What are you going to do? Stay here and play with the dolphin?”

  “Maybe.”

  He huffed and shook his head.

  Declan—a fasgadair. Evan explained what it took to become fasgadair. If he’d drank some monster’s blood, he had no right to judge me. Unless he was forced. Either way, whatever he was going through, I could save him.

  “Fallon, you have a duty. I’m offering help. Why do you refuse?”

  “ ‘It’s complicated.’ ” Mocking his response to me, I hobbled away.

  ****

  “Did you sleep well?” Kai asked.

  “Eh.” I shrugged and leaned on my arm, resting on the table, and continued pushing food around my plate.

  “After we eat, I’ll check the north shore for your friends.”

  “Don’t bother.”

  “What?” He narrowed his eyes. He looked scary when he did that. Fierce. Yet gorgeous. “You don’t want to find your friends?”

  “I’m sure they’ll find me soon enough.” I straightened in my chair. “Let’s go for a swim.”

  He searched me as if seeking answers even I didn’t have. “If that’s what you want.”

  “Yes.” I nodded with certainty. “That’s what I want.” Anything to avoid reality.

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  ◊◊◊

  DAYS PASSED. KAI AND I spent most of the day in the lake until my skin puckered like a raisin. We fished or tended his garden and cooked. We spent evenings under the stars, talking about everything—like Declan and I used to—while Kai whittled away. Or I’d listen to him play the torman-ciùil. There were no fasgadair, no betrothals, no mysteries. Only peace and calm. If this was a dream, I prayed nothing woke me.

  I scanned the beach and found a small hole. “Is this one?” I asked.

  Kai inspected the hole. “Ya.” He stomped near the hole, and water spurted out. “You found one. Dig it up.” He flashed his crooked grin, then moved to another spot.

  I sank my fingers into the mud and rooted around. “This is disgusting. Don’t you have a shovel?”

  “Who needs a shovel?” He stuck a hand into the ground and came up with a clam. Show off.

  Mud oozed through my fingers. I felt something hard and grabbed it. A slimy shell. “I got one!”

  “Well done.” He pulled another clam from the muck and tossed it into the bucket. “Throw it in.”

  I added it to the dozen Kai had found. Then searched for more until the mud no longer bothered me.

  “I think we have plenty.” He tossed one more into the full bucket. “Come here.”

  “What?” I walked toward him.

  “You’ve got something.” He held his finger up, pointing to my face.

  “Mud?”

  He nodded. “Right…here.” He swiped my nose with his muddy finger.

  “Hey!” I readied a muddy hand to retaliate.

  Laughing, he jumped back. When I pursued, he dodged. He stepped in a hole and stumbled. I mashed my hand on his face, smearing mud from his eye to his mouth. He swept my feet out from underneath me and caught my fall. We both landed in the mud.

  Kai stared at me with those sparkling dark eyes. So intense. I sucked in a deep breath to calm my thudding heart as he leaned toward me. Was he going to kiss me? I held my breath.

  A bird’s cry rang out. The same cry I’d heard days earlier. Was Declan still spying on me?

  Kai stopped advancing. “What was that?”

  “It sounds like a bird.” I shoved him aside and sat up. “I should wash off.”

  He didn’t make another attempt to kiss me, assuming he almost had. Did I want him to? Yes. But was it a good idea? Things were far too complicated. And as much as I’d love to take a page from Cairbre and Deirdra’s book, I’d have to give up this fantasy and return to real life. To God’s work.

  How would I live with myself if I didn’t?

  I pushed my concern aside as we cleaned up in the water, then returned to the house. Kai sat beside me, drying his hair with a towel. “Your ankle seems better.”

  I wiggled it. “Uh-huh.”

  “That’s good.” He frowned, giving his hair another shake in my direction, then wrapped the towel around his shoulders. “Does that mean you’ll be leaving soon?”

  “I guess so.” Did he want me to leave?

  “Why don’t you come with me tomorrow and look for your friends?”

  A lump formed in my throat. He was ready for me to leave. Was I a burden? Shame coursed through me for not considering what a disruption an extended stay from an unwelcome guest might’ve caused. As usual, I thought only of myself.

  If only I’d gotten Pepin’s location from Declan when I’d had the chance. I wanted to pack my things and leave. Now.

  ****

  I climbed out the window into the dark and hiked down the path. Once I was a safe distance, I cupped my lips and called for Declan in a hushed voice. A fasgadair should have no trouble hearing.

  I followed the path to where I’d found Declan last and continued calling his name. He didn’t appear. My heart sank. What had made me think he’d stick around? I sat on a rock and threw myself a pity party. Invitation for one. No one wanted me. Kai was ready to get rid of me. Declan chose to be a monster rather than rejoin me. Were my friends even looking for me? Or had they given up and moved on with my quest without me?

  Tears coursed down my cheeks, dripping onto my lap.

  “What are you doing out here?” Declan asked in his evil-Declan voice.

  I jumped up and wiped the tears from my face. “I–I was looking for you.”

  His eyes flashed. “Why?”

  “Where’s Pepin?”

  ****

  I tossed and turned on the mat. Tomorrow I’d leave paradise and Kai. Why was that the last thing I wanted? My heart ached. My life had brought me
nothing but trouble. For once in my life, I was happy. I liked Kai. And he wasn’t betrothed. Unless fate was crueler than I imagined.

  Or was I lying to myself? This happiness wasn’t real. It was superficial…based on my circumstances.

  And how would I stay happy avoiding my purpose? Avoiding God’s plan? I’d experienced a deeper, more life-sustaining happiness before. It began with the meeting in Saltinat when I received Drochaid’s gem. When I met God and received forgiveness, love, and purpose.

  Peace washed over me at the memory.

  I had to return to my quest, to God’s will for my life. Who knew better what I should do and where I should go than the One Who created me?

  I’ll get back on track, God. Tomorrow…

  Sleep crept in, and I stood in the field. Declan took his usual spot on the shore. Lights whirled into a window. Whoever lay beyond there knew me and my family. Or so he claimed. Was it a trap to get me to deliver myself into his clutches? Why not divulge whatever information he had to share here? Why be so mysterious? I peered into the window. A hazy image of a small room appeared, like the captain’s quarters on a ship.

  “You’ve returned.” His voice rang in my mind.

  “Are you on a ship?”

  The hazy image went blank. Had he covered his eyes?

  “Where I am is of no consequence.” I sensed his irritation by more than his voice. It filled the space as if it existed all around me. “The question is…where are you? I will come to you.”

  “Yeah, right.” I scoffed. “I’m sure chasing after us must be tiring. But do you seriously think I’ll make it that easy for you? If there’s something I should know about my family, tell me.”

  He chuckled. A sinister sound.

  “That’s not how this works. But, since you don’t seem convinced that we should meet, perhaps I’ll give you an opportunity to seek answers for yourself. Ask your mother about your birth. Every child should know about their birth, don’t you think?” This time, his chuckle sounded bitter.

  “Fallon!” Declan called.

  I swiveled toward him on the shore.

  “Once you have a chat with dear ol’ mum, I trust you’ll want to meet.”

  “Turn away from him, Fallon.”

  Just as I turned, Declan bared his fangs and lunged.