by Stacey Wilk
“We need to get home,” he said.
Grace had thought of every possible terrible scenario on the five-minute drive back. One of the kids was hurt. Beau had a heart attack. But wouldn’t they go to the hospital if that were the case?
Her heart hammered in her chest as she skid to a stop behind Blaise. He jumped out. In her haste to follow, she lost her balance and sprawled onto the road scraping her hands. Her head spun, but she forced herself up, no one the wiser, and wiped little pieces of tar out of the heel of her hands. She’d have to clean that.
Chloe, Colton, and Cash gathered on the front porch. Chloe slumped forward with her elbows on her knees and her hands on her face. Cash rubbed at his arms and then stared at his palms. Colton raised an eyebrow at Blaise.
“What happened?” Blaise said.
Colton came down the steps first. “Beau packed up.”
“Packed up?” Grace turned in circles. Beau’s truck was gone. She ran past them and into the house. The ladders were gone, the tools too. The kitchen was only half done, the bathrooms even less. The floors were covered in dust. The place looked like the cliffhanger ending to a house-renovation show. “Beau?” she asked, knowing he wasn’t there.
That’s what all the calls were about. Dixie told on her. Beau and Hoke were either trying to get her to stop or at least giving her the courtesy of knowing the project was done. The house was no longer hers. She’d lost it. She’d lost the chance to prove to herself and everyone else she had what it took to take a risk. Grace Starr wasn’t a new woman. She was a fool again. Larry did know her best.
She leaned against the wall and slid down to the floor. She pulled her knees into her chest. Tears threatened and her palms hurt. She swallowed hard. She didn’t want to cry. She had no job, no home, no family. Blaise had been right too. Why was it so important to know who gave her this house? Knowing wasn’t going to change the fact her mother had a mental illness and her father wanted nothing to do with her. Knowing wasn’t going to give her a big family to sit down to at Thanksgiving dinner. Knowing wasn’t going to fill the void in her chest that not belonging to anyone created. She bit her lip to stifle the groan pushing its way out.
Blaise poked his head around the front door, and she looked away. His footsteps echoed in the empty room. He plopped down next to her and pulled his legs up to match hers. “You okay?”
She shook her head.
“Beau stopped construction. Hoke told him to. It seems Dixie did overhear you and Savannah at the library. I’m sorry, Grace.”
She was afraid to open her mouth because the tears would come and she didn’t want Blaise to see her cry. “You were right.”
“If you want, I could try to talk to him. Maybe he’ll listen since he knew my parents. Colton said he’d come with me.”
“No, thank you, though. You and your brother are very sweet to offer. It’s my fault. I knew the parameters, and I ignored them. Now I have nothing.”
He placed his bandaged hand over her knee. “You took a chance. That’s all. Sometimes they pay off, and sometimes they don’t.”
“I don’t take chances, Blaise. I’ve always been too afraid to lose, and the one time I do take a chance I screw myself up. I should have known better.”
“It’s okay to make a mistake, Grace.”
“Okay for who? You? It’s not okay for me. I can’t afford to make mistakes. I don’t have anyone looking out for me. No one has my back.” She thought of the way Blaise was with his siblings. She’d give anything to have a brother or sister to call at that moment because no matter how good her friendship was with Jenn, Grace would never call now and ask for help. Any help.
“You know, sometimes we have to rely on the people in our lives at the time. I’ve made some big mistakes in my life. I don’t beat myself up over it. There isn’t any point. What’s done is done. I move forward and worry about the present moment. You could try that.”
She wiped her nose with the back of her hand. “Right now I don’t feel like trying anything. I need to make a plan.” She pushed herself up off the floor and wiped the dirt from her pants.
“Don’t make any decisions right now. Give yourself some time. Come to my house for dinner later.”
They stepped out into the hot sunshine. Colton and Cash were gone. Chloe sat glued to her phone on the front steps. The street was alive with activity. Two boys raced down the road on their bikes, shouting to each other. Across the street the Bucknells weeded their landscaping. A lawnmower growled in the distance. Two women dressed in bright exercise clothes braved the heat and walked down the sidewalk deep in conversation. The poplar trees were full and lush, lining Dogwood Drive and offering spots for shade. Her own poplar bathed the front porch in cool shade. She really did picture a porch swing with floral pillows to rest against, but that wouldn’t happen now. Not for her anyway.
“Grace, what do you say? Dinner, my place? I’ll use the one tomato I grew in the garden.”
She dragged her gaze away from the neighborhood and back to Blaise. He smiled at her. His gray eyes twinkled.
“No, thank you. We have to pack.”
He leaned in and kissed her cheek. “The invitation is open. Just come by. See you, Chloe.”
She watched him cross the lawn and amble up his own porch. He turned with a wave and went inside. Her heart hitched.
“Mom, what are we going to do? We can’t stay here like this, and we don’t have anywhere to live in New Jersey. What’s your plan, Mom, because I’m not going back to Dad’s?”
Grace threw her hands up. “Chloe, not now. I can’t handle your questions. I don’t have a plan, okay?” She plopped down on the top step and rested her head on her knees. The tears threatened again, and she had to bite her lip to stop them. She wouldn’t cry now. Couldn’t cry because if she started, she might not stop.
Chloe placed a hand on her back. “Mom, are you okay?”
Grace lifted her head and dropped her chin into her hands. She looked out onto the street. “It’s nice here, isn’t it?”
“Mom, what’s going on? You’re scaring me.”
She looked at Chloe. She wanted to brush the hair away from her daughter’s face, but she held her hands in place. “You’re beautiful, you know that?”
Chloe made a face. “You have to say that. You’re my mother.”
“It doesn’t matter. It’s true.” Grace looked back out to the street. “I’m sorry I screwed this all up. I had to know who gave me this house. I was hoping it was someone I was related to. I’ve always wanted a big family, and this was going to be my one chance.”
“We’re a family.”
“You’re right, but you’re going off to college and you’ll be living your own life soon. There won’t be space for me.” She bit her lip again. The idea of being alone cracked open her heart. It wasn’t what she wanted. It wasn’t what she planned. Her worst fears were being realized.
“I won’t be far, and I’ll come home on weekends and stuff.” Chloe looked back at the house. “If we have some place to live.” Her tone suggested Chloe was attempting to lighten the mood.
Pride tried to mend Grace’s heart, but it wasn’t enough. Her daughter wasn’t hers to keep. She always knew that, but today with the loss of everything, giving Chloe over to her own life was irrefutable—and stung like bleach in the eyes.
“Having you visit will be nice.” Don’t forget about me. Grace wanted to beg, but the words screamed only in her head.
“It’s going to be okay, Mom.”
Grace patted Chloe’s knee. “It will.” But she kept staring out into the street, as if the answers would appear in the form of a neighbor carrying a pecan pie or the mailman waving as he passed. Did it snow in Heritage River? She wouldn’t be around to see if it did. That thought made the tears want to come all over again.
She’d fallen for this little town. It had snuck up on her when she wasn’t looking and warmed her insides like hot apple cider. The Disaster House, which she was starting
to refer to with something like love, was taking shape. Grace could see her beauty under all the dirt and dust. This house could be a home, just not hers. How long would they give her to move out? Would Hoke be standing at the door before day’s end with the sheriff, ready to evict her? When would Dixie shove the for sale sign into the lawn?
She’d fallen for her neighbor. His southern charm and twinkling eyes. His ability to live in the moment and take chances. He lived life. He didn’t watch it go by, as she had for so many years. He made her laugh. She was learning not to take herself so seriously. Who else could show her how to do that?
“Should we start packing?” Chloe’s words dragged Grace away from her sorrowful thoughts.
“I don’t know.” She didn’t have the strength even to throw her few items into boxes. If Hoke didn’t bang on the door tonight, they could start tomorrow. What would one more day hurt?
“I’m sorry, Mom. I know you wanted this house to work out for a lot of different reasons. But things will work out. You’ll see. Don’t you always tell me when one door closes another one opens?”
“It helps if you don’t shut your own foot in the door in the process.”
“What?”
“Never mind. Thanks for the pep talk.” Chloe was a smart girl. She would be fine in the great big world. Maybe Grace hadn’t screwed up with her daughter completely.
“Are you hungry?”
The last thing Grace wanted to do was eat. “Not really, but I can take you into town if you want to get something.”
Chloe held up her phone. “Cash asked if I wanted to walk into town with him. He’s kind of disappointed he lost his job again. Would you be okay if I went to cheer him up? I don’t have to go if you don’t want me to. We can order takeout and watch movies.”
Grace smiled. “We can do a girls’ night some other time. Go enjoy dinner.” It would be one of Chloe’s last nights here. She might as well enjoy it. “Don’t stay out late and make good choices.” She didn’t want her to enjoy herself too much.
“Oh, Mom. Like I’d do anything stupid with college just a few weeks away. I’m going to clean up a little. Thanks.” Chloe kissed the top of her head and ran inside.
Grace stayed glued to her place on the porch. She waved after Chloe and Cash as they glided down the street toward town. Just as they were turning the corner, Cash slid his hand into Chloe’s. Hopefully, it was nothing more than a summer crush. They both had their whole lives ahead of them. Mistakes could so easily be made. She knew better than anyone.
The sun began its descent and cast long shadows on the lawn. The mosquitos kicked up and made a meal out of Grace’s skin, but she didn’t move. Where was she going to go? Not inside. She couldn’t bear it.
When Larry found out she’d failed, he’d have himself a knee-slapping laugh with a side of I told you so. She’d want to wipe that smug look off his face. She never needed him. She just wanted someone to say I love you and mean it. He was the biggest mistake of her life. She only had Chloe to show for that marriage. That was enough, but she wanted more now. So much more.
Lights popped on in Blaise’s house. What was he doing? Was he wondering if she’d take him up on his offer for dinner? Was he setting the table for three? She didn’t want to sit with Colton and make small talk. She might choke on small talk.
There was something she did want to do. It would be another risk and she wasn’t sure she was ready to take a chance again, but it was now or never. The loss of the house, the start of Savannah’s friendship and the fundraiser, the possibility of a family, even losing Cash his job, made her insides burn. She didn’t want to care anymore. She was tired of being Grace Starr. She wanted to be someone else just for one night. Someone who hadn’t lived her life in fear.
She pushed herself off the porch and marched across the lawn. She didn’t care what she looked like or how desperate she would appear. This was what she wanted. Just for one night. One moment in time. The only moment that would count.
She rang Blaise’s bell. She scrunched her eyes shut, trying to keep the rational Grace from invading her thoughts. “Shut up.” This was her time.
She was about to knock when Colton yanked the door open. Her nerve wavered. What was she thinking? “Hi.” The single word was all she could manage.
“Blaise said you were coming for dinner.” Colton stepped aside to let her in.
Grace wrung her hands, took a deep breath. “Could you ask him to come out here?” If she stepped inside and let the comfort of his home surround her, her thoughts would jumble. She would forget what propelled her across the lawn. And she didn’t want to forget. She wanted to feel it. All of it. The anger, the pain, the fluttery stomach as if she were about to jump off the high dive.
Colton raised his eyebrows.
He knew. Heat filled her cheeks, but she didn’t look away. “Would you mind getting him?” If she had to ask again, she’d lose her nerve.
“I’ll go get him.” He walked away, leaving the door open. He didn’t go far before he yelled, “Blaise, someone’s at the door for you.” He laughed and turned down the hall toward the bedrooms.
Grace imagined this very same scene with them as teenagers. Heat filled her cheeks again. How many girls came calling for the young and irresistible Blaise Savage? She shook her head. No time to think like that. Those other women or girls don’t matter. Only now mattered.
Blaise came from the kitchen. He smoothed his hair back when he saw her and smiled. That damn smile would be the end of her. Her knees wanted to buckle.
“Hey.” He leaned against the doorjamb. “I’m glad you made it. You want to come in? Dinner’s almost ready.”
“No. Would you…” She had to swallow the knot tying up her vocal chords. “Would you take me to the lake?”
“The lake? Now? Why?”
She couldn’t say it with so many lights on. “Can I tell you when we get there?”
“Okay. Let me grab my keys.” He stepped away from the door and scooped up his keys from the hall table. “Colton, I’m running out.”
Colton yelled something back that sounded like “condom.” Grace nearly ran back to the house to hide. Instead, she stepped off the porch into the shadows of the night and waited.
Blaise opened the truck door for her, and she slid in. He ran around the front and hopped inside beside her. They didn’t speak until he was off Dogwood Drive.
“Can you tell me why you wanted to go to the lake?”
She watched his profile as he navigated the streets. She wanted to commit it to memory so she’d have something to think about on the long nights back in Jersey while she tried to sew her life back together.
“Once we get there.” She didn’t trust herself to talk. When they were at the lake with nothing more than the moonlight to guide them, she could show him what she wanted. She didn’t have to use any words.
“You’ve got my curiosity up.” He winked. He was silent as he drove the truck farther from town. “Have you decided what you’re going to do about the house?”
“I’m going back to Jersey. I hope Hoke will let me have a few days to gather my belongings.”
“What are you going to do when you get there?”
“I have no idea. Find a job, I guess. All my volunteer work at the library has to count for something, doesn’t it?”
“You could stay here and find a job.”
“Everyone will know by morning that I lost the house. I can’t live here with people whispering behind my back every time I walk down Main Street. Staying wasn’t the plan anyway. Fixing, selling, going back. That was my plan.”
“Sometimes plans change.”
She stared at him. Those words echoed in her head with a new vibration.
He turned off the main road onto the dirt road leading to the lake. The tall grass swayed around them as he navigated the bumps and divots in the dark. He pulled into the open area to park. Another car sat dark and empty.
“Looks like we’re not the only ones o
ut tonight,” he said.
She hadn’t thought about having the company of others to deal with. They were alone the other times they’d come. Why didn’t she think that a place like this would be a haven for teens to come to and make out? She leaned her head back against the rest and sighed. “It’s just not my day.”
“Were you planning something?” He turned the truck off and faced her.
She stared at the truck’s roof. “I wasn’t thinking it all the way through. I’m sorry to have dragged you out here. We can go back.”
He hit the ignition button and pulled the truck out, but he didn’t head back down the dirt road. He circled to the backside of the lake, closer to the houses. The spot was more secluded with tall trees acting as cover. He hopped out but left the lights on.
He waved her out. “Follow me.”
“Where are we going?” She tried to see around the trees, but the crescent moon didn’t offer enough light, and the headlights casted their narrow glow straight ahead.
“See? Sometimes plans change for the better, Grace.” He led her down a narrow path that opened to a clearing by the lake. A small dock jutted out into the water, and a set of cement stairs led to the house behind them. The truck’s lights still shone, and she could make out two Adirondack chairs facing the water. The space was private; the other house was too far away to see this part of the lake.
“That house up there?” Blaise pointed to the darkened house up the hill behind them. “That’s old Billy Lewis’s house. He’s away visiting his grandkids in Tulsa. Goes every summer for a couple of months when they’re off school. That old dock is his. No one comes here because they’re afraid Billy might run out with his shot gun if he catches them trespassing.”
“You’re sure we should be here?”
“He liked my dad. Said we could come fishing any time we wanted. Colton comes out here when he wants to be alone. Billy pretty much ignores him when he isn’t telling him what to do.”
“Do you always bring the ladies out here?” She didn’t see a good spot that offered coverage if someone should walk up on them. Heck, she didn’t even think to bring a blanket. Her nerve was shrinking. This was a bad idea.