by Jodi Thomas
“I wanted to kiss you, Nell. Hell, you’re a beautiful woman when you’re not yelling at me. Can’t a man want to kiss a beautiful woman without having to give an explanation why?” He leaned back, allowing air between them. After a minute, he added, “All right, that’s a lie. You’re a beautiful woman even when you are madder than the devil at me. I’ve been noticing that fact for a while.”
“I want the truth. Stop stalling.”
Jacob moved close to her once more. “I didn’t want you to forget that I asked for you. I know I’m older than you, and you probably think of me as your big brother, but I don’t think of you that way. Not anymore.”
“Since when?”
“Since I kissed you.” He laughed. “I thought I’d wake you up to a few facts, but it seems to have backfired. I was a little unprepared for how good it felt. Shocked me.”
His confession surprised her. “Didn’t you like kissing me?”
“I haven’t thought of much else since. I liked it. Didn’t you?”
Nell shrugged. “I’m not sure. It happened a little fast to form an opinion. I haven’t had much practice grading kisses. I’m not even sure I’ll know when a good kisser comes along. Not that it matters. The man I marry will agree that we will be wed in name only.”
Jacob swore.
She turned a little more toward him, her knees bumping against his leg. “Jacob?”
“What?” He looked at her then. Even in the shadows, she felt his angry gaze on her.
“Could we try it again?”
“I don’t know,” he said without conviction. “Don’t see much point if it’s a skill you plan to abandon shortly.” He leaned closer until she felt his words caress her face. “Why would you want to even bother?”
Nell closed her eyes, waiting . . . knowing that he’d grant her request.
The kiss came far softer than she’d ever thought a kiss could be. Feather light against her mouth, then drifting along her cheek, light as a wisp of hair.
“I don’t want this one to be too short for you to form an opinion.” His words brushed her ear a moment before his lips drifted down her throat.
He tortured her with gentle pleasure, and she memorized each sensation running through her body. This memory would have to last her a lifetime.
His whiskers tickled along her jaw as he moved once more to her mouth. This time, the kiss pressed against her lips as his arms circled round her, holding her as if she were a treasure.
“Kiss me back.” His request blended between them as she opened her mouth, welcoming the taste of him.
“Stop bossing me around,” she whispered against his mouth, then kissed him fully.
“You got it,” he finally managed to answer.
His finger slid into her hair and tumbled the pins free. His kisses came warm and inviting, a hypnotic pleasure she’d never expected.
Finally, he pulled back just enough for her to feel the cool air between them. She fought for a moment to keep her balance, not from fear of falling off the bench but from fear of falling in love with the man who lived inside the ranger.
“Now, maybe you’ll remember being kissed.” He rubbed his cheek against her hair. “Did I tell you I love the way your hair smells?”
“Yes.”
He brushed his lips against her ear, tickling it with his breath.
“I’m still not going to consider marrying you, Jacob Dalton.”
“Yeah, I know.” He moved slowly across her cheek. “But you at least are starting to see that there’s a man behind the badge.”
She didn’t comment that for her there had always been a man behind the badge. She turned her face so that her lips were only an inch from his and waited for another kiss.
This time his mouth was familiar against hers. In the short time they’d been at the windmill he’d learned what she liked, how she liked to be kissed. Or maybe she’d simply realized that any way he kissed her was just fine.
“Again,” she whispered when he pulled away.
He leaned forward, his words mixing with his kiss. “Stop bossing me around.”
Then she forgot what they were talking about as she drifted in pure pleasure.
“We’d better go in,” he finally whispered. “It’s getting cold.”
“I don’t feel cold.” She took a breath, trying to steady herself.
“Neither do I,” he mumbled. “All the more reason to go in.”
He lifted her but didn’t move toward the path. She wrapped her arms around his neck and laid her head on his shoulder. There were a hundred more things they needed to talk about, but she didn’t want to spoil the evening. He might not know it, but he’d given her a gift as rare as diamonds tonight.
He’d treated her like a woman.
CHAPTER 13
THE HOUSE WAS QUIET WHEN JACOB CARRIED NELL inside. Someone had put out all but one light, and the fireplace glowed more with embers than a fire. Jacob, as he always did, took in his surroundings with a glance. The one thing he’d learned to hate as a lawman was surprise, but as earlier, everything seemed in place.
Rand Harrison’s night of guard duty was over. The bookkeeper had probably moved his belongings to the loft. Now that Jacob was back, everyone understood all men would sleep in the barn. The preacher, if he planned to return, hadn’t done so yet. They would have heard his buggy rattling from town. Jacob couldn’t help but wonder if he was saving lost souls or joining them.
“Where is everyone?” he whispered, enjoying a few more minutes alone with Nell. “I figured someone would still be up.”
“I’m sure Gypsy’s snoring away. She complains about life being hard now she has to be up before noon,” Nell whispered back as if they might be caught if they woke anyone. “Marla and Wednesday must be upstairs. I told Marla to put the girl’s room at the end of the hall where it’s quiet. The child looked so tired she slept halfway through supper.” Nell’s words brushed against his ear. “Marla said she’d sleep across from me until the next nurse arrives tomorrow.”
“When’s Dr. McClellan planning to come?”
“I got a note from Theda saying they would try to be here by the end of the week. They’ve been in Houston learning new procedures to use during surgery.”
Jacob fought the urge to hold Nell tighter. “He’s not thinking of operating on you, is he?”
“No. It’s still too dangerous. But they will stop by on their way home. It’ll be good to see them again. Did you know they married two months ago?”
Jacob laughed. “I’m not surprised. She’s a good nurse, and he’s the best doctor around.”
“I agree. At first I was worried because the doctor in town didn’t have time to check on me, but now I’m glad. Dr. McClellan is worth waiting for.”
“You think a lot of him.”
“I trust him.”
Jacob moved as silently as he could up the stairs. He was in no hurry to leave Nell. If she’d ask him, he’d hold her like this all night. He just thought he’d had trouble forgetting the kiss from a few days ago. It’d take the rest of his life to forget the way she’d kissed him tonight. If she’d been any other woman . . . he corrected himself. Nell wasn’t any other woman. No matter what his body told him he’d like to do with her, he never would.
He’d spent his life learning to be tough. He could stay in the saddle from dawn to dusk. He’d fight the weather and hunger if he had to. He’d even learned to work through pain and do his job. But none of that mattered right now. Because for the first time in his life, he had to figure out how to be gentle with Nell.
Hell, he thought, half the time when he touched her he was more worried about breaking her than helping her. The doctor and his bride might be right for one another, but in some ways Jacob and Nell couldn’t be more wrong. He wouldn’t even know how to begin to love her.
“The house is filling up.” Nell’s cheek brushed his jaw as she laughed, having no idea how her nearness tortured him.
He grinned, knowing she lov
ed this little game she played of whispering.
“Before long it will be as crowded as it was in the old days.”
“Half as crowded,” Jacob corrected. “Only one to a bed.”
They crossed the landing, and he tapped the door open with his boot. He was smiling at her and for a moment didn’t see Marla sitting on Nell’s bed crying. The thin woman looked like a willow rocking back and forth in sorrow.
Nell recovered first. “What is it, Marla? Has something happened?”
The cook seemed to curl into a ball. Even her tears fell silently.
Jacob lowered Nell to her chair, then moved to Marla’s side. “What’s wrong?” He wasn’t sure why he waited for an answer. The woman had never said a word to him. In fact, he’d asked the sheriff more than once if she ever talked to anyone except Nell. From what he’d seen, she had nothing much to say to even old Gypsy.
Nell’s hand touched his arm, and he moved back a few feet, knowing they’d get no answers with him so near.
“Please,” Nell whispered as she rolled her chair parallel with Marla. “Take your time, but tell me what has you so upset.”
Marla wiped her tears.
Nell patted the cook’s hand gently as she added, “Now take a deep breath, Marla, and tell me what’s happened.”
The frightened cook raised her head. “You’ve got to see it,” she whispered.
Nell nodded. “All right. Show me.”
The cook crossed to the door and motioned for Nell to follow. They moved silently down the hallway, with Jacob staying several steps behind. It wasn’t easy, but he tried his best to make six feet and two hundred pounds of muscle disappear.
He barely heard Marla say, “I doctored her the best I could. She wouldn’t let me tell anyone, but she fell asleep, so I thought you should see.”
Marla pushed open the door to what had to be Wednesday’s room at the end of the hall.
Jacob heard Nell’s soft cry a moment before he reached the opening and saw for himself.
Wednesday lay on her side with her back to the light, looking almost like a child in the big bed. The covers were turned down and her back exposed to the lamp’s low glow.
Jacob gulped down an oath and took a step closer, wishing he could turn away. Welts crossed back and forth along her white skin. Big, bloody welts an inch wide.
He grabbed the doorframe to keep from slamming his fist into the wall. He’d grumbled about her complaining all day thinking that she must be whining. Now, he wondered how she could have stood being wedged in his saddle or even riding in a buggy.
“I had to soak most of her underthings to get them off. The blood had dried them to her skin.” Marla let out a little cry. “She must have been stripped for the beating and then forced to dress without being doctored.”
He made himself see all the damage. The places her young skin had been torn apart and scabbed over. The spots where yellow pus festered just beneath the surface of her flesh. The bruises that would eventually heal, the broken skin that would scar. He needed to see it all, so he could remember when he found whoever had hurt Wednesday.
Nell rolled closer and gently placed the sheet over the girl’s back.
Without anyone saying a word, Marla pulled Nell’s chair backward into the hallway. Jacob closed the door so softly it didn’t make a sound. The three of them moved down to Nell’s room.
“Who could have done that?” Nell’s anger didn’t surprise him. “Her father? Could he have hurt her that badly and then left her?”
Marla shook her head as she knelt in front of Nell. “I said I wouldn’t tell, but I’m afraid some of the blisters are already infected, and I’m not sure what to do.”
Jacob stood in the shadows by the door. With her back to him, the cook seemed to have forgotten he was there. He wanted to move closer, but he couldn’t risk Marla being too shy to finish.
She continued, “I had to beg her to let me clean it. At first I thought it was only a scrape on her shoulder. I thought I’d put on a little of the cream the doctor gives me for my hands. Then I saw her back.”
“Who?” Nell asked again. “Did she tell you who beat her?”
Marla’s thin hands shook.
Nell’s voice softened. “It’s all right, Marla. We’ll find whoever did this to her. What matters is that she’s safe with us now. Just tell me who hurt her.”
“Her stepmother,” Marla cried. “Wednesday said the woman would have killed her if her father hadn’t taken her away. That’s why he left her in the woods, so her stepmother couldn’t find her. He must have thought it was her only chance.”
Nell glanced up at Jacob, tears in her eyes. “They can’t come take her back, can they?”
He shook his head, knowing that legally they probably could. He wanted to find the parents, but maybe not searching would keep Wednesday safe. If he sent no telegrams out, no one would know that she was here. Nell’s place wasn’t on any main road. Even if the father changed his mind, he’d have a hard time tracking them here.
The lawman in him wanted to see justice, but he knew that even if he could get proof of the beating to a judge, nothing would be done. Some folks might even say that she’d given them good reason to beat her, and there was no law against disciplining children, even harshly. At most, the parents would probably be fined. Which would make them even madder at Wednesday.
He moved out of the way so that Marla could leave without looking at him. Sheriff Parker told him once that Marla grew up an only child of a widowed mother who made her living as a cook. Parker said the mother had been a bitter old woman who blamed all her troubles on men and believed a good daughter was a silent, hardworking one. Jacob felt sorry for Marla. He wondered, if in her way, she wasn’t as scarred as Wednesday would be when she healed.
Jacob closed the door. “Want me to lift you into bed?”
Nell shook her head. “I’m too angry to sleep.”
Jacob moved to the chair by the window. He wasn’t sure it would hold his weight, so he lowered himself slowly. The thing looked more like a pillow someone had tied ribbons around and tried to make it look like a chair.
Nell rolled to the other side of a small table across from him. For a few minutes, they both watched the night sky. Neither bothered to turn on a light other than the small lantern Gypsy always left burning when she turned down the bed. But even in shadow, Jacob could see the sorrow on Nell’s face.
“What do you want me to do?” He leaned forward, bracing his elbows on his knees. “I could try to find the parents. There’s not much officially I could do, but I could threaten them with prison.”
She reached for his hand. “Do you think they’d come for her even if they knew where she was?”
Jacob shook his head. He thought of adding that he hoped not, but things were bad enough without Nell having to worry about what might happen if they showed up.
“She can stay here with me.” Nell lifted her head.
“She needs you,” Jacob said. “You can offer her a safe place. Not even the law can do that.”
They were silent for a while. He turned her hand over in his and brushed her palm with his thumb. He liked the way her hand fit, her long fingers lacing easily between his.
“Thank you,” she said.
“For what? For bringing trouble to your door?”
“No. For letting me help. It makes me feel like, if I can do her some good, I’m not worthless.”
He shifted on the frilly chair, frustrated that he couldn’t say what needed saying. He stared out the window, hoping he could make her understand before he turned and looked at her. “You really have no idea how priceless you are, Nell.”
Her smile was sad. “I’m afraid I’m far more aware of all the things I can’t do.”
“You don’t realize what you do or how much you mean to so many people.” He gripped the arms of her wheelchair and pulled it as close as their knees would allow.
She shrugged and didn’t meet his gaze. “My money may help,
but most of the time people would get along just fine without me. I offer nothing meaningful.”
“Yes, you do,” he answered, brushing his fingers across her jaw until she looked at him.
“Oh, yeah?” She tried to smile. “Name one.”
“You offer the only beauty in my life.”
Before she could respond, he kissed her lightly, then stood as if he’d shown her a side of himself he hadn’t meant to.
“I’d better be getting to the barn. I want to check that gate before I turn in, and I plan to rattle every door, making sure they’re all locked.”
“Jacob?” He was almost across the room before her voice stopped him.
“Jacob,” she said again in little more than a whisper.
He turned, figuring she’d laugh at him. He and Nell had talked more about feelings tonight than they had all the times they’d been together over ten years. At this rate he’d probably turn into a poet or some fool thing within the week.
“Thank you,” she said.
“You’re welcome,” he answered and hurried out the door.
He was halfway down the stairs when he realized he had no idea why she thanked him or why, in hell’s name, he’d said you’re welcome. He should have thanked her for the evening. Sitting out by the windmill was a time he’d think about in the months ahead when he was out on the road alone. Maybe she was thanking him for the kiss.
Moving into the night air, he shook his head. She hadn’t thanked him for kissing her before. And, to his surprise, it was something he was getting used to doing regularly. Before he knew it, he might just develop kissing as a habit.
Jacob smiled and ran his thumb over his lips as he walked toward the barn. The thought that kissing her might feel so right hadn’t occurred to him before. He wouldn’t mind it becoming a habit.
Glancing up to her window, he noticed Marla’s shadow standing beside Nell’s chair. They probably couldn’t see him in the darkness, but he could tell they were talking, and he was glad Nell had others to worry about besides herself.
Almost to the barn, Jacob stumbled over the preacher. Like a drunken brawler, Brother Aaron came up swinging and quoting scripture.