by Janis Ian
"Don’t mind Liam," Mary said to me. Then, to Liam, "Have you anything fit for drinking?"
"No."
"Well, that’s not why we came anyway." Mary jerked her head toward me. "Here’s the recruit."
"He doesn’t look like much."
"Recruit for what?" I said. It struck me suddenly that Liam was keeping his hands below the bar, out of sight. Down where a hard man will keep a weapon, such as a cudgel or a gun.
"Don’t let his American teeth put you off. They’re part of the reason we wanted him in the first place."
"So you’re a patriot, are you, lad?" Liam said in a voice that indicated he knew good and well that I was not.
"I have no idea what you’re talking about."
Liam glanced quickly at Mary and curled his lip in a sneer. "Ahh, he’s just in it for the crack." In Irish craic means "fun" or "kicks." But the filthy pun was obviously intended. My face hardened and I balled up my fists. Liam didn’t look concerned.
"Hush, you!" Mary said. Then, turning to me, "And I’ll thank you to control yourself as well. This is serious business. Liam, I’ll vouch for the man. Give him the package."
Liam’s hands appeared at last. They held something the size of a biscuit tin. It was wrapped in white paper and tied up with string. He slid it across the bar.
"What’s this?"
"It’s a device," Liam said. "Properly deployed, it can implode the entire administrative complex at Shannon Starport without harming a single civilian."
My flesh ran cold.
"So you want me to plant this in the ‘port, do yez?" I said. For the first time in weeks, I became aware of the falseness of my accent. Impulsively, I pulled the neuropendant from beneath my shirt, dropped it on the floor, and stepped on it. Whatever I said here, I would say it as myself. "You want me to go in there and fucking blow myself up?"
"No, of course not," Mary said. "We have a soldier in place for that. But he —"
"Or she," Liam amended.
"— or she isn’t in a position to smuggle this in. Human employees aren’t allowed to bring in so much as a pencil. That’s how little the Outsiders think of us. You, however, can. Just take the device through their machines — it’s rigged to read as a box of cigars — in your carry-on. Once you’re inside, somebody will come up to you and ask if you remembered to bring something for granny. Hand it over."
"That’s all," Liam said.
"You’ll be halfway to Jupiter before anything happens."
They both looked at me steadily. "Forget it," I said. "I’m not killing any innocent people for you."
"Not people. Aliens."
"They’re still innocent."
"They wouldn’t be here if they hadn’t seized the planet. So they’re not innocent."
"You’re a nation of fucking werewolves!" I cried. Thinking that would put an end to the conversation.
But Mary wasn’t fazed. "That we are," she agreed. "Day by day, we present our harmless, domestic selves to the world, until one night the beast comes out to feed. But at least we’re not sheep, bleating complacently in the face of the butcher’s knife. Which are you, my heart’s beloved? A sheep? Or could there be a wolf lurking deep within?"
"He can’t do the job," Liam said. "He’s as weak as watered milk."
"Shut it. You have no idea what you’re talking about." Mary fixed me with those amazing eyes of hers, as green as the living heart of Ireland, and I was helpless before them. "It’s not weakness that makes you hesitate," she said, "but a foolish and misinformed conscience. I’ve thought about this far longer than you have, my treasure. I’ve thought about it all my life. It’s a holy and noble thing that I’m asking of you."
"I —"
"Night after night, you’ve sworn you’d do anything for me — not with words, I’ll grant you, but with looks, with murmurs, with your soul. Did you think I could not hear the words you dared not say aloud? Now I’m calling you on all those unspoken promises. Do this one thing — if not for the sake of your planet, then for me."
All the time we’d been talking, the men sitting at their little tables hadn’t made a noise. Nor had any of them turned to face us. They simply sat hunched in place — not drinking, not smoking, not speaking. Just listening. It came to me then how large they were, and how still. How alert. It came to me then that if I turned Mary down, I’d not leave this room alive.
So, really, I had no choice.
"I’ll do it," I said. "And God damn you for asking me to."
Mary went to hug me and I pushed her roughly away. "No! I’m doing this thing for you, and that puts us quits. I never want to see you or think of you again."
For a long, still moment, Mary studied me calmly. I was lying, for I’d never wanted her so much as I did in that instant. I could see that she knew I was lying, too. If she’d let the least sign of that knowledge show, I believe I would have hit her. But she did not. "Very well," she said. "So long as you keep your word."
She turned and left and I knew I would never see her again.
Liam walked me to the door. "Be careful with the package outside in the rain," he said, handing me an umbrella. "It won’t work if you let it get damp."
~~~~~
I was standing in Shannon Starport, when Homeworld Security closed in on me. Two burly men in ITSA uniforms appeared to my either side and their alien superior said, "Would you please come with us, sir." It was not a question.
Oh, Mary, I thought sadly. You have a traitor in your organization. Other than me, I meant. "Can I bring my bag?"
"We’ll see to that, sir."
I was taken to their interrogation room.
Five hours later I got onto the lighter. They couldn’t hold me because there wasn’t anything illegal in my possession. I’d soaked the package Liam gave me in the hotel room sink overnight and then gotten up early and booted it down a storm drain when no one was looking. It was a quick trip to orbit where there waited a ship larger than a skyscraper and rarer than almost anything you could name, for it wouldn’t return to this planet for centuries. I floated on board knowing that for me there’d be no turning back. Earth would be a story I told my children, and a pack of sentimental lies they would tell theirs.
My homeworld shrank behind me and disappeared. I looked out the great black glass walls into a universe thronged with stars and galaxies and had no idea where I was or where I thought I was going. It seemed to me then that we were each and every one of us ships without a harbor, sailors lost on land.
I used to say that only Ireland and my family could make me cry. I cried when my mother died and I cried when Dad had his heart attack the very next year. My baby sister failed to survive the same birth that killed my mother, so some of my tears were for her as well. Then my brother Bill was hit by a drunk driver and I cried and that was the end of my family. Now there’s only Ireland.
But that’s enough.
(back to TOC)
About the Authors
Kage Baker was a relative newcomer to science fiction when she wrote Nightmare Mountain for this anthology. Perhaps best known for her Company series and In the Garden of Iden, she was nominated for both the Hugo and Nebula Awards, and received the 2009 Nebula Award for Best Novella.
(Back to Nightmare Mountain)
Winner of the Philip K Dick Award, the John Campbell Memorial Award, the British Science Fiction Association Award, the Kurd Lasswitz Award (Germany) and the Seiun Award (Japan), Stephen Baxter is also the author of such novels as Raft, Anti-Ice, and The Time Ships.
(Back to All in a Blaze)
Gregory Benford, the Nebula-winning author of Timescape and Artifact, is also a noted scientist. Greg teaches physics at the University of California—Irvine, and has also hosted a television series on science. He was Guest of Honor at the 1999 World Science Fiction Convention.
(Back to On The Edge)
Hugo winner
Terry Bisson is the author of Voyage to the Red Planet and Fire on the Mountain, as well as the
most-honored short science fiction story of the 1990s, Bears Discover Fire.
(Back to Come Dance With Me)
Orson Scott Card is the winner of four Hugos and several Nebula awards (he won the Hugo and Nebula two years in a row, a first), author of the classic Ender's Game, and the creator of not one but two bestselling series—Ender and Alvin Maker.
(Back to Inventing Lovers on the Phone)
Susan Casper isn't prolific, but she is memorable. Along with editing Ripper! with her husband, Hugo winner Gardner Dozois, she has produced a couple of dozen brilliant short stories, including Up the Rainbow and A Child of Darkness.
(Back to Old Photograph)
Diane Duane, alone or in company with husband Peter Morwood, has written well over a dozen novelizations of such popular movies and television series as Star Trek, Sea Quest, and Spider-Man, as well as The Door Into Fire and her popular "Wizard" series, including Support Your Local Wizard.
(Back to Hopper Painting)
David Gerrold is the Hugo-winning author of The Martian Child, as well as the author of When H.A.R.L.I.E. Was One and The Man Who Folded Himself. As a young man, he wrote The Trouble With Tribbles, which was voted the most popular Star Trek episode of all time.
(Back to Riding Janis)
Joe Haldeman is one of the giants of science fiction, a 5-time Hugo winner, Nebula winner, and author of the acknowledged classic The Forever War. Forever Peace won the Hugo, Nebula, and John W. Campbell Awards in 1998, the first such "triple crown" in 22 years. He is past president of the Science Fiction Writers of America, and the 1990 World Science Fiction Convention's Guest of Honor.
(Back to Finding My Shadow)
Janis Ian achieved worldwide fame as a singer and songwriter, but of late she has turned to her other love, science fiction. She sold her first story (in collaboration with Mike Resnick) in 2001, and followed that up with three quick sales in 2002. This book is her debut as an editor.
(Back to Second Person Unmasked)
Kay Kenyon is a relative newcomer—but not so new that she hasn't produced a handful of novels to high acclaim, including Maximum Ice and Tropic of Creation.
(Back to An Indeterminate State)
Hugo- and Nebula-winner Nancy Kress has written an acknowledged classic, Beggers in Spain, which she later expanded into a novel. Other major works include Brainrose, Beggars and Choosers and The Flowers of Aulit Prison. She is also in great demand as a writing teacher and workshop leader.
(Back to EJ-ES)
Mercedes Lackey has produced one bestseller after another, and writes series with the speed that most authors only write novels. Among her best-known series are Valdemar, Bardic Voices, and the adventures of Diana Tregarde.
(Back to On the Other Side)
Sharon Lee and Steve Miller have been writing in tandem since 1984. They are the creators of the popular Liaden Universe tales. Sharon is the former Executive Director of the Science Fiction Writers of America and its current president. Steve is the founding curator of the University of Maryland Kuhn Library Science Fiction Research Collection.
(Back to This House)
Tanith Lee is the wildly-popular author of The Birthgrave, The Silver Metal Lover, Drinking Sapphire Wine, and a host of other novels and stories. Along with science fiction and fantasy, she has also written for both radio and television.
(Back to Two Faces of Love)
Barry N. Malzberg has been both an author and a magazine and anthology editor. He has more than 90 books and 350 short stories to his credit, including Beyond Apollo, Herovit's World, and Galaxies.
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Susan Matthews is a relative newcomer to science fiction, though she already has a large and loyal readership and a fistful of award nominations. Her best-known works are Angel of Destruction, Avalanche Soldier, and Colony Fleet.
(Back to Society’s Stepchild)
Mike Resnick Mike Resnick is the winner of five Hugos, as well as major awards in France, Japan, Spain, Poland and Croatia. The author of Santiago and Kirinyaga, he has written 74 science fiction novels and 275 stories, and has edited more than 30 science fiction anthologies.
(Back to Society’s Goy)
Three-time Hugo winner Spider Robinson is best-known for his beloved Callahan's Crosstime Saloon stories, but he is also the author of such award-winning works as Melancholy Elephants and Stardance.
(Back to You Don’t Know My Heart)
Kristine Kathryn Rusch has won Hugos both as a writer and an editor. She has edited Pulphouse, The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction and a number of anthologies, and has written science fiction, fantasy, horror, mystery, and romance novels. Among her best-known titles are Alien Influences and Sins of the Blood.
(Back to Play Like a Girl)
Robert J. Sawyer is the author of fifteen novels, including the Hugo Award finalists Starplex, Frameshift, Factoring Humanity, and Calculating God, and the Nebula Award winner The Terminal Experiment. His latest project is the "Neanderthal Parallax" trilogy, consisting of Hominids, Humans, and Hybrids.
(Back to Immortality)
Robert Sheckley, who passed away in 2005, was a major science fiction writer, and perhaps sf ’s greatest humorist, for half a century. His masterpiece is Dimension of Miracles, and the movies Freejack and The 10th Victim were based on his stories. In 1998 he was awarded the Strannik Award in Russia for contributions to the field of humor and science fiction.
(Back to Hunger)
Dean Wesley Smith has been a book and magazine editor, a publisher, a writer, and a golf pro. He has written novels for almost every Star Trek series, plus novels for the Men in Black, Shadow Warrior, and Tenth Planet series. He's also an active anthology editor.
(Back to Shadow in the City)
Michael Swanwick has received the Hugo, Nebula, Theodore Sturgeon, and World Fantasy Awards for his work. He has always wept when watching Janis sing "Mary's Eyes", and created his story for this anthology especially for the audio and e-book editions. It will be appearing in the new trade paperback edition, also. Michael lives in Philadelphia with his wife, Marianne, and their son Sean.
(Back to For I Have Lain Me Down on The Stone of Loneliness and I’ll Not Be Back Again)
Judith Tarr, who has a Ph. D. from Yale, is best known for her excellent fantasy novels, among which are Lord of the Two Lands, the Hound and the Falcon trilogy, and A Wind in Cairo.
(Back to East of the Sun, West of Acousticville)
Hugo winner Harry Turtledove is the acknowledged master of "alternate history". Most of his recent novels have been national bestsellers. Among his most famous are Guns of the South and The Center Cannot Hold.
(Back to Joe Steele)
Winner of several Hugo and Nebula awards, as well as France's Prix Apollo,
John Varley is the author of Persistence of Vision and Steel Beach, as well as the prescient short story Press Enter. His short story Air Raid was turned into the motion picture Millennium. John is equally at home writing science fiction or screenplays.
(Back to In Fading Suns And Dying Moons)
Nebula winner Howard Waldrop has made a career out of producing off-the-wall stories that no one could have anticipated. Among his most famous are The Ugly Chickens, Ike and the Mike, and A Dozen Tough Jobs (about the labors of Hercules). He does not use a computer.
(Back to Calling Your Name)
Tad Williams' first novel, Tailchaser's Song, was an international bestseller, and he's proven time and again that it wasn't a fluke. He is also the author of Caliban's Hour, and the wildly popular Otherword series.
(Back to The Scent of Trumpets, the Voices of Smoke)
Jane Yolen has been called "a national treasure" by more than one major magazine. Author of over 200 published books, winner of too many awards to list here (including the Caldecott Medal), she specializes in children's books, and for years had her own imprint. This didn't stop her from also writing adult fantasy such as White Jenna and Briar Rose.
(Back to Ride Me Like a Wave)
~~~~~
Foreword © 2003 by Janis Ian
Come Dance With Me © 2003 by Terry Bisson
The Scent of Trumpets, the Voices of Smoke © 2003 by Tad Williams
Finding My Shadow © 2003 by Joe Haldeman
Ride Me Like a wave © 2003 by Jane Yolen
In Fading Suns and Dying Moons © 2003 by John Varley
On the Other Side © 2003 by Kage Baker
On the Edge © 2003 by Gregory Benford
Two Faces of Love © 2003 by Tanith Lee
Immortality © 2003 by Robert J. Sawyer
Hunger © 2003 by Robert Sheckley
Society’s Stepchild © 2003 by Susan R. Matthews
Murdering Stravinsky or Two Sit-Downs in Paris © 2003 by Barry N. Malzberg
Society’s Goy © 2003 by Mike Resnick
Second Person Unmasked © 2003 by Janis Ian
Play Like a Girl © 2003 by Kristine Kathryn Rusch
All In a Blaze © 2003 by Stephen Baxter
Cartoons © 2003 by Alexis Gilliland
Old Photographs © 2003 by Susan Casper
EJ-ES © 2003 by Nancy kress
You Don’t Know My Heart © 2003 by Spider Robinson
Riding Janis © 2003 by David Gerrold
East of the Sun, West of Acousticville © 2003 by Judith Tarr
Hopper Painting © 2003 by Diane Duane
An Indeterminate State © 2003 by Kay Kenyon
This House © 2003 by Sharon Lee & Steve Miller
Calling Your Name © 2003 by Howard Waldrop
Shadow in the City © 2003 by Dean Wesley Smith
Joe Steele © 2003 by Joe Haldeman
Inventing Lovers On the Phone © 2003 by Orson Scott Card