Mindspeak

by Sunseri, Heather

  Armed with a flashlight and a storage box that I’d bummed off the school secretary, I handed the box to Danielle. “Here, help me.” I dug for the key in my pocket.

  “Why are you running so hard from Jack?”

  “I’m not running from him,” I said like it was the most absurd thing ever.

  “You always run. The minute someone looks your way, you do something to push them in the opposite direction.” She balanced the box on her hip while I bent down to unlock the garage-like door. “I don’t know what you’re going to do this time, little Lexi. I’ve got a feeling about this one. I don’t think he’ll back away as easily as the others have.”

  “Jack is not at this school to fall in love, Dani, any more than I am.”

  “Who said anything about love? I didn’t say the l-word. Did you say the l-word? Oh…I do believe you did.”

  I puffed hair out of my eyes and glared at her. “Doesn’t it scare you that he already knew who I was when he arrived?”

  “Your father and his are friends. I think you’re looking for trouble where there is none. As usual.”

  “Let’s just find these journals my dad mentioned.” I pushed the door up overhead.

  “What’s in these journals, anyway?”

  I grabbed the box from Danielle. “I don’t know.” I only knew what I hoped would be in the journals. Truth. “But my dad made them sound pretty important. And Jack knew about them, so—” I lost all train of thought when I faced the storage unit.

  Danielle and I just stood there for a moment. I stared at the ten by twenty-five foot space. My mouth fell open. The contents of the drawers were emptied out on top of the desk and on the couch beside it. Tables were turned on their side.

  “What a mess,” Danielle finally said. “I’ve never thought of you as a slob before, but…”

  I cocked my head sideways at her. “I didn’t do this.” But who did? My dad? He’s the only one I emailed the new address to. Had to be. He must have been in quite a hurry.

  I entered and sat the box on top of the desk. “Well, let’s find these journals and get out of here.” Danielle pushed up her sleeves. “It’s starting to get dark, and the deserted feel of this place is starting to freak me out.”

  I eyed Danielle for a minute. She had an intense fear of the dark, and I didn’t want her phobia to kick in while we were here. Though the sun was setting, there was still enough light to work by.

  I surveyed the room. Something told me the journals were no longer here, but sheesh. Dad didn’t have to destroy the place.

  Since we were there, I decided we might as well have a look. Where to begin...

  All I had done when the other storage place closed was have a moving company move everything from one location to another. I hadn’t unpacked any boxes or cataloged the content.

  Nevertheless, as I climbed over furniture and studied the content, I knew one thing for sure—someone had removed some of the stuff. Then they’d made a mess of the rest.

  The boxes were labeled: dishes, kitchenware, towels, bedding, Christmas decorations, books, photographs. I opened several of the boxes, including the one labeled books. None of the boxes included journals. I found a set of bookshelves in the back. Empty.

  Danielle looked through drawers of furniture, every once in a while looking up to ask, “Anything?”

  I shook my head.

  The room grew darker. I was in the very back of the unit with a flashlight, while Danielle worked by the remaining light from outside.

  Finally, I stopped, wiped the perspiration from my forehead, and decided the journals weren’t there. “Let’s just go.” I turned off the flashlight, relying on the minimal light coming from outside, and tucked it in the waistband of my jeans. “I’ll just have to keep calling my dad until I reach him.”

  I started working my way back toward the front. Danielle faced me.

  I climbed over dressers and tables, moved around stacks of chairs.

  A loud banging noise came from just outside the storage unit.

  I jerked my head up.

  “What the…” Danielle whipped around.

  The garage door slid down and the room grew dark.

  “Shit. What was that?” I asked. I couldn’t see my own hand in front of my face.

  “The door just closed.” She sounded panicked.

  “Obviously, Dani. But how?”

  The room was dead quiet. I reached for my flashlight, but before I had a chance to turn it on…

  “Lexi!” Danielle screamed.

  “What’s wrong?”

  Silence.

  I turned the flashlight around, feeling for the on/off switch. “Dani, answer me.” My breath caught in my throat. “Dani.”

  Nothing.

  Finally, I found the flashlight switch and flipped it on. The fluorescent light lit up the place, and I shone it toward Dani. She stood frozen and wide-eyed.

  I scrambled around the furniture and boxes separating us.

  When I reached her, I ran my hand down her arm. “Dani, sweetie.”

  Her body shook. Her eyes had glazed over with fear.

  “Hold this.” I pressed the flashlight to her hand and closed her fingers around it. “I’m going to open the door, okay.” I darted toward the door, knocking my hip into the corner of a desk as I did. “Ow.” My hand flew to the spot of the pain.

  I bent down and lifted the door open. What light remained illuminated the front of the room. A car’s tires screeched and scuffled in the gravel at the end of a row of units.

  When I reached Danielle again, I put my arm around her and thought hard. Push away the fear, Dani. You are bigger than this phobia of the dark. You can squash it.

  I led her outside into the fresh air. She sucked in a deep breath and pushed it out slowly. Twice. Any minute she would drop into a dolphin pose.

  “Better?” I asked.

  She nodded. “Better.” She sucked in another cleansing breath. “Oh, honey, your nose is bleeding.”

  I touched the skin under my nose. “Oh, it’s no big deal.” I ran to the passenger side of the car and dug a tissue out of my bag. When I returned, I said, “I’m sorry about that. I don’t know what happened.”

  “All I know is when that door closed, I had visions of Anthony Hopkins eating my tongue. You know, like in Silence of the Lambs.” She tilted her head side to side. “And it didn’t help that I’m already terrified of the dark. But inside a storage unit of all places. You know what was weird?”

  I shook my head while continuing to squeeze the bridge of my nose.

  “I was terrified when that door fell, but the most amazing peace came over me when you put your arm around me.” She kicked against the gravel in front of her. “You have such a knack for soothing people, Lexi. You’re going to make a great doctor some day.”

  “Oh, stop it. I’m just sorry I dragged you all the way out here.”

  “Did you know there are people actually scared of things that are yellow?”

  When I raised a skeptical eyebrow, she said, “I swear. It’s called Xanthophobia.”

  I gave her a sideways hug again and leaned my head against hers. “I love you, Dani.” She was perfect evidence of how serious phobias could be.

  “Love you, too. We’re family, you know?”

  I did.

  She stood, allowing all fear to drop away from her face. “Anyway… Can we get out of here?”

  “Absolutely.” Especially since what I was looking for wasn’t here.

  ~~~~

  I entered the student center at a little before nine p.m. Curfew on a Friday night was ten, and I had to take it seriously if I didn’t want to get kicked off the swim team.

  The scent of coffee pulled hard at me from Common Grounds, but a good night’s sleep was more important the night before a big meet.

  I cut through the crowd in the basement game room. That’s where I found Jack draped over a pool table shooting eight ball. Briana leaned against a stick in the corner. She was
so busy watching him that she didn’t see my approach.

  “Hi, Briana. Who’s winning?” I crossed my arms and watched Jack sink a striped ball in the corner pocket. He glanced over his shoulder when I spoke.

  “Why are you always hanging around, Lexi? You’re starting to look desperate and pathetic. Can’t you just face it? Jack’s not interested in you.”

  My heart sped up, and I told myself it was because I fought the urge to start a catfight with Briana, not because her words sliced deep. “Funny. I was thinking the same thing about you.”

  Briana threw her stick down and took two steps toward me. She had six inches and at least a full cup-size on me.

  I also told myself that it didn’t bother me that I had found Jack down here playing pool with Briana. Of course, that was a lie. I stood as tall and strong as someone my height could stand against Briana. The fury in her eyes should have scared me.

  “Whoa.” Jack stepped between us, his back to Briana, but his face to me. His smirk reached all the way up to his eyes.

  I stepped over to a table and began pulling at napkins inside a metal dispenser, preparing for a full-on nosebleed. Jack cocked his head in an is-that-necessary sort of way. He handed his stick to one of the other guys. “Sorry, Bree. Raincheck?” he said more than asked. The disappointment on her face reminded me of those commercials—priceless.

  Jack glided toward me, grabbed my hand, and led me from the basement. “Aren’t you a little small to be picking fights?”

  We exited the building. It was a pleasant night with a perfect breeze—not too cool, not too warm. I looked sideways at him. “Sorry to break up your game.”

  “No, you aren’t.”

  I grinned. Okay, fine. I wasn’t. But why was she always around?

  “Where did you go earlier?” he asked.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Oh, please. You think I bought all that crap about you needing supplies from the store?”

  Still holding my hand, he pulled me toward the multi-purpose field again. Only this time it was dark.

  He dropped my hand, and I watched him walk out onto the field.

  “People will see us out there.”

  “So.” His lips twitched. “I would think you would like that. Out in the open where I can’t hurt you. Not without witnesses anyway.”

  “Ha. Ha.”

  “I’m not trying to be funny, Lexi.” He stopped and faced me. “You think I can’t sense your fear of me? It’s one thing that you don’t trust me, but I honestly think you’re scared to be alone with me.” He walked close, standing almost a foot taller than me. He lifted his hand and brushed hair off my forehead. “I am not here to hurt you,” he whispered. “Quite the opposite, really.”

  A chill danced down my spine. His touch lingered long after he pulled his fingers away.

  He took a few steps backwards and then lifted his head to urge me to follow. I did. As nervous as I was around him, I was even more curious to know him. To know who he really was and why he was at Wellington. I was drawn to him in a way I didn’t understand—beyond wanting more information about our fathers.

  When we reached the middle of the field, I turned in a circle amazed at how vulnerable I was out in the open. As if Jack would see inside me and see everything—my flaws, my scars, my hopes, my fears, everything that made up the true me.

  He sat down on the grass, stretching his legs in front of him and leaning back on his elbows. “So, why did you interrupt my game? To tell me what you bought at the store?”

  I wrung my hands, then crossed my arms. How could he always be so relaxed when I had so many questions? “No. But I also didn’t interrupt just to break up whatever it is you have going on with Briana.” Finally, I sat down and crossed my legs. “Just want to make sure we have that clear.”

  He scooted closer and leaned his head toward mine. I felt the tickle of his breath against my cheek. For a brief moment, I thought he might kiss me. “I’m glad you cleared that up.” He retreated, and his smug grin returned.

  That arrogance lit the fire inside my veins that threatened every time I neared Jack DeWeese.

  “Why did I think I could have a conversation with you? Everything’s a joke to you.” I moved to stand, but his fingers quickly laced around my forearm.

  “Don’t go.”

  “Why not, Jack? You think this is a game. You’re right, I am scared of you. I don’t know what you’re trying to accomplish by being here. Or what you’re hiding. I’m just… I’m scared.”

  “I’m sorry.” He loosened his grasp on my arm and rubbed his thumb across my skin, sending electric pulses along my arm. Some level of sincerity warmed the eyes that made my heart skip beats.

  What was he doing to me? I couldn’t think around him. One minute I wanted to run and the next I wanted to melt beneath his touch.

  I needed Jack, though. His father was the only one to have had contact with Dad since the dinner, and I desperately wanted to talk to him—to give Dad the chance to explain to me what or who I was. To ask him if he took the journals from storage.

  “I had Danielle take me to my family’s storage unit to find Dad’s journals.”

  Jack’s eyes widened. “And?”

  “And nothing. They weren’t there.”

  He seemed to let out a large breath when I spoke. Why did that relieve him?

  “What would I have found, Jack? Do you know?”

  “How am I supposed to know what’s in the journals?”

  “I think you’re lying.” I glanced at my watch. Five minutes until curfew. “But I don’t have time or even the energy to argue with you tonight.”

  “Lexi. I don’t know what we’re going to find in those journals. I hope we find the truth to all of our questions.” His voice was different. There was no hint of humor when he spoke now. “I just wish…”

  “What? You wish what?”

  “I just wish you wouldn’t try to find the answers alone.”

  “I wasn’t alone. Danielle was with me.”

  “And you’re going to share with Danielle whatever you find? What if our fathers broke the law? What if the law is after them, or even some bad people who want this information?”

  “Bad people? Do you hear yourself?” I couldn’t hide my astonishment. “You make it sound like a James Bond movie.”

  “No, Lexi. I wish this was fiction—the make-believe world of spies and crimes solved by cool gadgets. It’s not. This is real life. And you’re going to have to trust me at some point if you want to get to the truth.”

  “Why should I trust you?” Why was I even sitting here with him?

  “Because as long as your father is ignoring your calls, I’m all you’ve got. We obviously have a lot in common. And a lot to hide.”

  I cringed. “That’s not fair.”

  “No. It’s not. None of this is fair, but neither of us knows enough. I have as much to lose as you do if the truth is discovered. I just wish you wouldn’t shut me out.”

  “Why haven’t you confronted your father about all this?”

  “It’s complicated.” His eyes iced over. I had hit a touchy spot. “And you’re about to break curfew.” He stood, and grabbing both of my hands, he lifted me to my feet.

  I pulled away, but not before breathing in the clean scent of shower gel that was quickly becoming so familiar to me. “I’m trying to understand all this. I really need to talk to my dad. Do you think your father knows where he is?”

  “Let’s find out. Tomorrow, we’ll ask him.”

  “I have a swim meet.”

  “After that. We’ll go to my house. It’s a date.” Another smile played with the edges of Jack’s lips. He’d gone an entire fifteen minutes without toying with me.

  “It is not a date. But I’d appreciate the chance to talk to your father.”

  He tilted his head side to side. “Whatever.”

  I walked a few steps away from him toward the girl’s dorm.

  “Lexi?”

 
; I turned.

  “I would really appreciate you not shutting me out if you decide to go in search of these journals again. You need me whether you want to admit it yet or not. That email mentioning the IIA? That was a warning.”

  The IIA should have been all the warning I needed to beg Dad to change my name again and transfer me to another school. “I’ll think about it.”

  “I’m scared for you, Lexi.”

  I turned and walked away. I’m scared for me, too.

  Chapter Eight

  The Imperial March—Darth Vader’s theme song—woke me at seven a.m. the next morning. “Dad!” I gasped. I threw the covers back and leaned over the side of the bed. I patted around my books stacked on the floor for my phone, which must have fallen off the bed during the night.

  I had begged my phone to ring all week. And now? Could I talk to Dad? Tell him I knew the truth? What truth was that, really?

  A cold sweat broke out across my forehead.

  “Dad!” My voice came out barely above a whisper when I finally answered.

  “Lexi, honey?” He sounded rushed. Like he was walking outside.

  “Dad, where’ve you been? I’ve been so worried.”

  “I had to leave town, but I’m back in Kentucky.”

  I massaged my eyelids, willing them to fully open now that the initial shock of the phone ringing had subsided. “Some really weird things are happening.”

  “Are you okay?”

  Was I okay? I didn’t know. “Yeah, but dad, somebody threatened me in an email and wants to know where your journals are. Sent me a strange lab memo as well.” Danielle’s blond hair fanned across her pillow. Her chest rose and fell in a slow even tempo. I hoped she was still sleeping. She typically slept through most of my craziness. Though, I wasn’t usually this insane. “And I went to the storage place. It was a mess.”

  “Look, honey, I’m in town. I’m coming to see you this morning.” His tone was hurried, kind of like a doctor at an appointment. Like if you didn’t get everything in that you needed to say, he’d be gone, and you’d still have this place you thought might be a tumor.