by CJ Ellisson
Lily moaned, her hips matching his tempo. As they climbed, he reared up and when he could hold back no more he roared, shuddering, emptying into her as she screamed, clutching at him as she climaxed, as well.
They collapsed, exhausted but sated and Sean cradled Lily in his arms, holding her to his chest, breathing in her after-scent.
“Stop that. It tickles,” she said, squirming a little.
“I’m just breathing in your scent. The way you smell now, right afterward. It’ll make for a delicious memory.”
“I don’t think anything will ever make me forget what we just did. Ever.”
He inhaled deeper, nuzzling the back of her neck. “It was pretty amazing, even by Were standards, and that’s saying a lot.”
“I wouldn’t know about that, but humans can certainly hold their own. Maybe it was the combination that made the sex so explosive, you know, because you’re a Were and I’m human?”
“What?” he asked, putting a hand on her shoulder to turn her around. “Lily, do you actually believe we’re all that different? That it’s us versus you?”
She shrugged. “Well, yeah I guess. This is all new for me. Especially since this is the first time I don’t have the urge to shoot you first, and ask questions later.”
Sean rolled onto his back. He was quiet, but Lily could see the little muscle working in his cheek as he lay there.
“There’s so much you don’t understand,” he murmured. Pushing himself up onto his elbow, he exhaled, reaching out with his other hand to tuck a stray curl behind Lily’s ear. “So maybe it’s time I showed you a little about what’s been going on around here.”
Lily tensed, eying him warily. There was an odd buzzing in her ears, and then an unexpected flood of emotion and thought poured through her mind. Her body rippled with recalled magic as Sean allowed her to feel his dual nature, sharing his memories of racing with the moon, his camaraderie with the pack. Lily watched his transformation in her mind’s eye, stunned to see his majestic form, so different from the creatures she had witnessed. She saw his strength and his humanity, as well as his kindness and determination to do what was right for his pack.
Lily’s warm tears fell to his arm as Sean let her see the waste and heartbreak brought by the sickness infecting his kind. He let her see his sadness at losing his brother to its devastation. Her breath caught in her throat when he showed her images of herself the night she was attacked, and let her see just how close to death he, himself had come.
“I had no idea,” she whispered.
Breaking their link he relaxed, letting his arms fall to her waist. “Are you okay?” he asked, softly.
Lily nodded, not trusting herself to speak after all she had seen.
“I never intended to show you all this, but there didn’t seem to be any other way to get you to understand.”
Turning in his arms, she looked up into his dark eyes. “Terry tried to warn me, but I couldn’t see past my anger and my own pain. Never once did I consider that it might be the same for you. I don’t know what to think or how to feel anymore.”
“You’re a psychic Lily; you can see and talk to dead people. I think most definitions would qualify you as a bit of a supe, yourself. You see, we’re not so different after all.”
“I guess, but not really. I can’t change my species, or god-forbid, have to drink blood to survive. But I see your point.”
“What if you did—I mean what if you found out, through no fault of your own that you had been irrevocably changed. What would you do?”
Propping herself up on her elbow she just looked at him. “I don’t know.”
Leaning up he kissed her throat and the tender flesh beneath her jaw. “Maybe it’s something for you to think about,” he whispered taking her mouth again.
Lily closed her eyes, a satisfied smile playing on her lips as she replayed the last hour with Sean, over and over again in her head.
“I leave you alone for a while and look what happens…fraternizing with the enemy.”
Lily’s eyes flew open as she sat up. “Terry?” she said, looking around the room. “Where are you? Where have you been?”
Terry floated across the room and sat on the edge of the bed. She was still barely visible, but from her smile, it was obvious she was glad to be back.
“I haven’t actually been anywhere. I was sort of floating in some kind of hazy nothingness. It was weird, kind of like floating in a cloud the consistency of Jell-O.”
“Are you all right, I mean I can see right through you. Not that you weren’t see-through before, but now you’re really see-through.”
She chuckled. “I’m fine. Though, I don’t know if I’ll ever be any more visible than I am right now. But, it might be a good idea for me to lay off the ectoplasm thing, at least for a while.”
Lily laughed. “God, I missed you! So much has happened. The guy that charged out of the woods he’s the one that brought me here. But you already know that.”
“Yeah, and that’s not the only thing I know,” she said a crooked grin spreading across her transparent face.
“What?”
Terry started fanning herself. “No, don’t stop…,” she said mimicking Lily’s breathless voice. “Things have gone way past hot and heavy with the werewolf, haven’t they?”
“You were spying on me?”
“Let’s just say I showed up at an inopportune moment. Just be happy I decided to be discreet and left the room.”
Lily shot her a dirty look. “Thanks.”
Terry put her hands on her shimmery hips. “Don’t go getting all pissy on me; I’m glad you’re hooking up. He actually seems to be a pretty decent guy and not to mention hung like a race horse.”
“I thought you said you left the room?”
Her friend shrugged mischievously. “Well, maybe I peeked a little.”
Lily picked up her hair brush from the nightstand and threw it at Terry’s head.
“Nice try,” Terry giggled. “You like him, Lil, admit it. And it’s more than just physical, I can tell. You’ve got that sappy look on your face. The same one you always get when you’re infatuated. That is until they get too close for comfort.”
Heat rushed into Lily’s cheeks, but she ignored it. “You’re reading way too much into this. We had sex, big deal. It’s been a trying few weeks. I needed the tension relief.”
“Tension relief? Really? Come ‘on Lil, you’re the queen of one night stands because you never want to invest. I’m a Shade, remember? I have a decidedly different take on things than you. My perspective is just a smidge deeper than anything you can sense, even with your psychic abilities— which don’t seem to be helping you much, by the way. I know you better than anyone else, and you feel something for this one.”
Lily shrugged. “Maybe.”
“So what are you going to do about it?”
Lily’s brows knit together. “What do you mean?”
“You do realize he’s a Were, right?”
Lily exhaled. “I know he’s a Were, Terry. Don’t you think I’m beating myself up for allowing him to confuse me, tempt me away from everything I set my mind to since the night you were killed? I’m being disloyal—not only to you, but to myself and to everything I promised to set right—especially since it was his brother that attacked us both.”
Terry floated up to stand. “His brother! Are you kidding me?”
“No, I’m not. But there’s more. It turns out there’s some kind of pathogen that’s infecting his kind—some kind of a mutating virus or something. It takes ordinary individuals and turns them into crazed beasts. His brother had it, and supposedly that’s the reason why you were attacked. Sean told me all about it, or rather he showed me.”
“He showed you? How?”
“He let me into his head. I saw it all, Terry, how they live, how they are. They truly aren’t so different from us, and they try very hard to coexist. In fact, they’ve been hunting infected Weres for months now trying to prevent the spread of this virus
.
Terry’s eyes narrowed, but her gaze was soft. “So, what now?”
Lily sighed. “To be honest, I truly don’t know.”
The Shade nodded her head, the small movement causing her hair to glimmer against her shoulders. “Yes you do. I know you better than you know yourself, and this one’s gotten to you. The minute he opened up and let you into his head, he had you hook, line and sinker. No guy has ever showed you that kind of trust before. And don’t kid yourself, he’s smart—he knows who and what you were hunting that night, even if he hasn’t pressed the issue. He’s accepted you. And I happen to have found his last question both interesting as well as intuitive.”
Lily shot her friend a look. “What are you talking about?”
“When he asked you what you would do if you found out you had been changed. But what you don’t seem to realize is that you’ve already been changed, and I don’t mean in an American Werewolf in London sort of way either, and it’s scaring the hell out of you.”
“Don’t say that. You’re dead wrong, Terry.”
“I may be dead, but I’m not wrong. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be so upset.”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
Terry floated to the side of the bed. “Of course, you don’t. That’s half the problem. Why else would you be running around the woods in the middle of the night looking like a refugee from a terrorist camp? Every time something happens you react in extremes. Every time some guy starts to get too close, you cut him off at the knees. Of course, with the others it was only figurative; with this one, I’m not so sure.” She reached out with her hand, and let it drop. “Tell me Lily, what’s going on? Why are you too scared to go with what you feel?”
Lily crossed her arms in front of her chest. “I have my reasons.”
Terry frowned, crossing her arms as well, mimicking Lily’s defensive posture. “Is it just because he’s a supe? Because let me tell you, having a shade for a best friend qualifies you for your own space on the weirdness meter. Lily, you’ve never been a coward before, so why now?” She wasn’t going to let her friend off so easily.
Lily’s arms unfolded in a huff. “Because! Everyone I care about always dies! Okay? Are you happy now?” she yelled, throwing her hands in the air. “First my parents in a car crash, then you—I refuse to let anyone else in, Terry. It hurts too much.” Her voice broke along with her tears.
Terry sat down next to her on the bed, her hand outstretched. “You’ve got to let somebody in at some point or you’re going to end up even more alone than you already are. It’s no way to live Lily, and it’s no way to die. Trust me.”
Lily wiped her cheek with the back of her hand. “What do you mean by that?”
“I never let anyone in either. I always had you, always thought I had plenty of time. I was wrong. Too many chances passed because I was too busy chasing other things. The wrong things. Now I get to regret it, forever. Don’t shut out a chance at love simply because you’re too angry and afraid.”
Lily looked at her friend, her heart breaking for both of them. “How’d you get to be so smart?” She sniffled.
“I died. But it’s not a fate I’d recommend for you. You’ll figure it out. You’re a smart cookie Lil, except when you’re being dumb. Why else do you think I decided to hang around?”
Chapter Seven
Sean leaned over and picked up the digital clock on his nightstand. Sighing in frustration at the glowing red numbers, he put it down. Five a.m. He rolled over and bunched the pillows up behind his head, but even its soft support couldn’t ease his racing thoughts. He was torn, something he’d never been his entire life. His duty and doing what was required of him was never a problem. Until now. He’d run each scenario, posed every what if he could envision. Yet it all came down to just one question. What if Lily was infected?
Sighing, he closed his eyes. He thought about Rissa and what she was going through, and also about the people in his clinic, terrified of the mandatory blood tests and what they might find. So far there had been only a handful isolated cases, but the virus was spreading quickly.
He knew he didn’t have a choice, and he wondered how many others would be faced with the same dilemma as the sickness became epidemic. Volkmann’s estimated half their population would be decimated if a cure wasn’t found soon. The Hunter’s Council was going to be hard pressed if it came to that—brother having to kill brother. It was a living nightmare, and it was just beginning.
Frustrated, he got out of bed and went into the bathroom. Turning on the shower, he stepped into the hot spray, letting the water jet on his shoulders and back trying in vain to alleviate some of his tension. Lily’s scent was still on his skin, and the steam swirled it like a caress, teasing his senses.
Leaning his forehead on the tile, he pictured her in his mind, the feel of her skin, the taste of her mouth. The images combined with her scent had his balls aching for release. He groaned, and his cock jerked as if in agreement.
With the water cascading over his skin, he wrapped his hand around his shaft and squeezed, running his palm along his corded flesh. Why did he want her so much? What was so different? His body tensed, his hand moving steadily over his sensitive head, over and over again ‘til he came, one name on his lips—hers.
With one hand on the wall and the other still on his cock he knew the answer. He had fallen for her. Now the question remained, could he kill her?
Lily knew she was dreaming. She was in the woods, but watching herself. She was alone, and it was dark; however, she seemed to know where she was going. The moon played behind the clouds, and its light dappled as it shined through the mists. It was cold, and she saw her breath as she moved, striding effortlessly through the underbrush.
The wind picked up blowing her hair, and she smiled, catching the scent of something warm. She ran toward a clearing, and as she stepped through the trees, a howl pierced the silence and a beautiful wolf walked out of the woods into the moonlight.
A slow smile spread across her face as she stepped toward the wolf. She knelt in the soft earth and he sniffed her face and neck, licking her skin, a low growl rumbling deep in his throat. Reaching up she ran her hands through his thick fur, relishing its softness, and rested her head against his. She could see his mind, his love, his desire, and his pain.
Suddenly she knew. He howled, and the sound was pitiful. She got to her feet, but it was too late, the clearing was surrounded as other wolves closed in on them. The wolf at her feet turned to face the others, growling and snapping, teeth bared. He turned to look at her and in his eyes she saw death.
Lily woke with a start. “Terry!” she yelled.
“What? What’s the matter?”
“We’ve got to get out of here. Now…right now! I saw everything; they’re planning to kill me, they’re just waiting to see whether or not my blood is of any use to them against their pathogen—otherwise I’m dead.”
“Lily, you’re overreacting. It’s most likely a by-product of what we talked about last night.”
“What, did they grant you some posthumous degree in psycho-babble? I’m telling you, I ‘saw’ it!”
“Maybe you’d better talk to Sean about this.”
“Talk to me about what?” Sean asked as he stepped into the room. Walking straight toward the bed, he leaned over and brushed Lily’s lips with his own.
She turned her face away. “Don’t you ever knock?”
He straightened, looking at her a little perplexed. “…and good morning to you to,” he said trying to read her reaction. “What’s the matter?”
Crossing her arms in front of her, she just huffed. “I’d like to go home, today. Right now.”
Sean shook his head, baffled. “Wait a minute. What happened in the six hours since I saw you last? What’s going on here?”
Throwing back the covers Lily got up. She came around the edge of the bed and faced him. “I know all about it Sean. I saw it. I know you plan to kill me if I’m infected with that
pathogen. All those vials of blood! It all makes sense now. Routine tests my ass! Go ahead, deny it. I dare you.”
He stood there, his face a pained mask. “I can’t,” he answered quietly. “Though, it’s not as cut and dried as it was, not anymore.” His eyes locked on Lily’s and held. “It’s true I’m the Alpha, and yes, it is my responsibility to destroy anything and anyone infected with this virus, and you’re right that edict would include you too. But things are different now.”
She glared at him. “Why? What’s different? Haven’t got the stomach to kill me now that you’ve slept with me?”
Sean exhaled softly, his expression calm despite Lily’s defensive stance. “Will you sit down and listen to me? This whole situation isn’t easy. I can’t explain it, but things are different now. I’m different now.”
Lily opened her mouth to retort but then froze. “How?”
He paused as if trying to find the right words. “Something has changed, and not just because we had sex. Hell, Weres are hot-blooded, almost perpetually in heat.”
Giving her half a smile, he lifted one shoulder and let it drop. “I’ve never felt like this before, not with anyone. The truth is I’m not ready to let this feeling go.” He reached out and ran his fingers gently across her cheek. “I’m not ready to let you go.”
Lily stared at him. As his words registered, she sucked in a breath, the sound something between a choke and a whimper as she walked into his arms, resting her head on his chest. “Your timing sucks.”
His hand came up to rest on her back, and she felt him chuckle. “This isn’t funny Sean, what if I am infected? Will I turn into some kind of crazed beast like your brother?”
He sobered instantly. “I don’t know. It could go either way. Our lab is supposed to have their latest results ready this morning. I’m supposed to be at a meeting in the clinic, but I wanted to see you first. Maybe you should come with me, now that you know. You might as well hear everything from the doctor first hand.”
Lily couldn’t help her nerves as they entered the clinic. Biting her lip, she felt everyone’s eyes on her as she walked in with Sean’s arm wrapped protectively around her shoulders. There were already five people in the reception area, including Mitch, Rissa and Stephanie. The room was quiet, but the tension thick, as the doctor hadn’t yet arrived.