by K.N. Lee
“Show yourself,” he all but growled.
His bedroom door creaked open. There, in the doorway, stood Heather.
He bared his fangs. “Leave.”
“Is that any way to talk to your alpha female?” Her green shirt matched the hint of green in her eyes. Her black pants flowed, loose. All in all, her outfit was fairly conservative, and she wasn’t necessarily acting seductive, other than sneaking into his bedroom at night. Her hair, that she normally wore in loose waves around her shoulders, was tied up in a tight bun.
“Why are you here?” He crossed his arms and suppressed the desire to backpedal a few paces.
“I wanted to talk to you.”
“Why can’t it wait until morning? When others are present?”
Heather threw back her head and howled a laugh. “Oh, my, you’re an arrogant one, aren’t you?”
His cheeks grew hot. “So you don’t… This isn’t…”
“I wanted to ask you a question. Leviticus won’t tell me why he brought that female to the… ah… joining of the packs…”
Magnus snorted. That was one way to refer to the day that contained such carnage and devastation.
“No matter how much I ask. There had to have been a good reason why he would drag a human to a warehouse filled with werewolves. And she managed to survive a battle between two vicious packs dead set on killing each other until none survived.” Her gaze was sharp as she appraised him. “Yes, you protected her, but she also held her own. She’s a sharp shooter, but he didn’t bring her for her skills with a gun, did he?”
“No. For her mind.”
“Her mind? Because she knows about werewolves?”
Magnus rubbed his chin.
“I can make a suggestion that you tell me,” she said mildly.
Alpha females could command the pack, although their commands weren’t as fierce as those from the alpha.
He grimaced. “She’s a scientist. She was trying to help me with my… When I was a loner, I developed what I thought had been the result of poison. She made me suspect that there might be another reason for it, and it wasn’t until I spoke to her about it that I realized the poison happened whenever I came in close proximity of packs.”
“Interesting, but I’m not seeing how important this information could be.” Her glower was as fierce as could be. “Spill it, Magnus. I don’t have all night.”
“Why don’t you ask—”
“I already told you I asked him.
Magnus sighed. He didn’t know all of what Leviticus had known, and he still didn’t know for certain why the alpha had brought her along or how Zelda had gotten entangled with him in the first place. She’d been injured, though, and he hadn’t learned the details concerning that either. Why had he pushed her away without talking to her more first?
But pushing her away had been the best, most selfless choice he could have made. She should not be in danger. She should be safe to study what she wished. She should be free to live her life. She should be able to kiss whomever she wished.
And slap them afterward if she wanted.
Damn it all.
The idea of her kissing anyone other than him made him want to shift into his wolf and howl.
“Like I said, she’s a scientist. She was studying my wound, what I thought was poison. She had some of my blood. She mixed it with some of hers. And then she mixed the blood of another werewolves with some of hers, too.”
“What happened?” Now she sounded intrigued instead of infuriated. She had anger issues, just like Kyle and Laci. Leviticus, too, to some extent.
Actually, like just about all wolves, himself included.
“Her blood would not mix with the other werewolves.”
“And yours did?”
“Yes.” Magnus shrugged. “I don’t know why. She doesn’t know why. At least, she didn’t the last time I talked to her.”
“Which was when?”
“The day of the joining of the packs.”
She blinked and relaxed her guard. “Why haven’t you seen her since?”
“She’s a human,” he said gruffly.
“Ah. You talk tough, but your eyes say differently. You care for her, don’t you?”
He said nothing.
“That’s why you sent her away even though you have to wonder why your blood mixed with hers.”
“It might’ve been a fluke.”
“Or it could be so much more.” She rubbed her long neck. “I have to admit I don’t know if it’s smart or wise to keep her alive given that she knows about us.”
“It’s been some time, and she hasn’t told anyone. No one knows about us werewolves except—”
“Except for us wolves and that female.” Heather shook her head, and a loose strand broke free of her bun. “But for your sake, I’ll allow her to live.”
“Mighty kind of ya,” he muttered.
“I was somewhat related to Colin through marriage. My sister married his brother. You killed him. I understand why you did it, but that doesn’t mean I have to like you.”
“I don’t rightly care.”
“So I gather.” She moved forward, but he gathered it was more toward his front door behind him than toward him. “Why did you rejoin the pack? You obviously don’t care about us—”
“Is it really that obvious?” He smirked.
Heather laughed. “I’m not saying I blame you. Life has dealt you a shitty hand. You’ve already been out as a loner. Why didn’t you find another pack?”
“If a lone wolf sniffed around the Blood Warriors, what would happen?”
“We’d… Oh.”
“Yeah. Packs don’t take kindly to loners.”
“Well, most are abandoned from their packs because of crimes against them, so… I heard that your wounds should’ve been fatal. Why did you not die?”
“I don’t know.”
“I think a part of you did die that day.”
“Great. A philosopher for an alpha. What’s next?”
“Your jokes grow tiresome, but I’m serious. You aren’t the same wolf.”
“Being a loner—”
“Have you ever felt like you belonged? With the Nightshade Hunters, I mean. Before Colin attacked you.”
“Of course I…” He trailed off. Magnus was a werewolf, through and through. He had a wolf within him, and he had the call of the wild.
But it was true that he never got along with most of the pack. Other than Jackson, he kinda had always been a loner.
Strange. He never gave that much consideration until now.
“Not all wolves belong in their packs they’re born into. Look at Laci. It seems to me she’s thriving. She emails Leviticus every day now. She’s pregnant. And she’s happy. I think having an alpha for a brother made her think she was entitled, and that went to her head.” She shrugged. “Not that I can talk to Leviticus about that, of course.”
“Speaking of Leviticus, don’t you think you should go to him?”
She laughed again. “Do I make you nervous, Magnus? Don’t worry. I’ll go now.”
Heather walked around him. When she reached the door, he called out, “Why do you care about Zelda?”
“Why do you?” she countered, and she left.
Magnus crossed over and locked the door. Why did he care for Zelda? Why was he so drawn to her?
She cared for him as he was, wolf and man. She had seen him at his most vulnerable, and she hadn’t freaked out… at least, she hadn’t freaked out as badly as she could have. She was strong and capable and fierce.
She also didn’t need someone like him in her life. What did he have to offer her? Nothing but himself. He had a job now, yes, but money was only just coming in. He was bound to his pack, not to her, and she could never be welcomed in as a human. And the wolves… they weren’t ever meant to mix with humans, not romantically. Sure, some had flings occasionally, but humans weren’t supposed to ever learn about werewolves.
Honestly, she was lucky to still
be alive.
So, yes, he was right to tell her to go. He was right to not communicate with her again.
But he still dreamed about her, and when he woke in the morning with his arms empty, he knew what he had to do.
Chapter 24
Nowhere. That was where her research was going. Absolutely nowhere.
Zelda was at her wit’s end. Her advisor was telling her to relax, that the point of research was to learn and study and improve, that research didn’t always mean providing results, but she wanted to help Tracey. She wanted to help Tracey’s mom.
But she was only one person.
This was her senior year, and she had some big decisions to make. Did she continue with her studies and go for an advanced degree? Or should she start sending out job applications? Just what exactly did she want to do for the rest of her life? Research gave her the most pleasure.
Actually, that kiss from Magnus had been the most pleasure she’d ever had.
Sad, right? One kiss from the guy—from the werewolf—and she couldn’t stop thinking about him. She’d tried to write it off as curiosity, but she knew she was lying to herself.
When winter break rolled around, Zelda couldn’t be more pleased. It had taken her a few days to get caught up on her missed work from her time away with Magnus. Readjusting to the real world—or more accurately, her old world—had taken longer than anticipated, but, like always, she had thrown herself into her research.
Now, though, she swore to herself and to Tracey that she would take some much needed time off. Her mom insisted she come to visit, and Zelda had no reason not to go, so she packed up some clothes and at the last minute brought along the last bit of Magnus’s blood.
Her mom actually took some time off, and the two of them bonded for once. Her mom sang off-key Christmas carols as they decorated a tree—artificial, of course, because of her mom’s allergies. Still, it was better than no tree.
Zelda made them some hot chocolate, and her mom sat on her chair, turned on the TV, and flipped to Hallmark. The movie was already twenty minutes in, but her mom put the remote down.
“So,” she said, “I’ve been waiting and waiting and waiting. Zelda, when are you going to start dating? I don’t mean to push you, and I know you’re serious about your work. Your studies are so important to you, and I respect that. I mean, look at me. I’m a workaholic. And trust me when I say it can be lonely, being married to your work. It’s not… I don’t want that for you.”
Zelda took a seat on the couch and stared into her mug. Warmth seeped through her ceramic cup, but her fingers still felt like ice. “I actually met someone,” she said begrudgingly. It felt so odd to be talking to her mother about this when she never had told Tracey.
“And it didn’t work out.”
“We’re from two different worlds.” She stared off into the distance.
“How different? Variety is the spice of life.” Her mom’s smile seemed forced. “Your father and I… We had our differences, but we balanced each other out. We made each other better. We made each other stronger. Together, we could take on the world. Now, it doesn’t seem like you want to tell me specifics, and I understand that. I’m your mom. But did you two really give it a chance?”
“No.”
“Do you regret that? Regret is one thing that eats away at you. That and guilt.” Her mom swallowed. “I’m guilty. I… After your father passed, I felt like I lost a limb. I didn’t know how to grieve, and every time I saw you… You’re the best thing that happened because of your father and me loving each other and without him… I lost my way. I’m sorry I haven’t been the mother I should’ve been since he passed. I’ll do better. I’ll be better.”
“Oh, Mom.” Zelda shook her head, blinking back sudden tears. “You threw yourself into work. I completely—”
“I know you understand, but that makes me even more worried. For you. I don’t want you to make the same mistakes I made. Money is great. A job is wonderful. But they aren’t everything. Family, friends… a loved one… the people are what matter most of all. This guy, whoever he is, he might be the one for you. He might not be. I don’t know. I just want you to be open to the world, to the people. Make more friends. You have so much going for you. You’re smart and independent… Maybe too independent.”
“Mom. I’m… I’m happy.”
“Are you?” Her mom switched over from her chair to the couch. Zelda placed her mug on the glass coffee table, and her mom held her hands.
“Y-Yes.”
Her mom stared into her eyes. “Do you know what you’re going to do next year?”
“Go back to Philly to get my degree.”
Her mom smiled maternally. “I mean after you graduate.”
She shrugged. “I have time.”
“You do.” Her mom squeezed her hands. “Just let me know, okay? Keep me in the loop.”
“Of course.”
“You’ll change the world. I don’t doubt that. Just don’t forget the little people.”
“Mom?”
“Yes?”
“You’re taller than me.”
“By an inch.” Her mom laughed. “Remember how you so badly wanted to be taller than me when you grew up?”
“Yes.” Zelda giggled and reached for her hot chocolate. “I also remember you pushing down on my head to discourage me from growing.”
“You’re still my baby girl.” Her mom grinned. “Thank you. This is already the best Christmas ever.”
When Zelda went to bed that night, she realized she didn’t even know if Magnus celebrated Christmas. There was so much she didn’t know about him.
We never gave us a chance. Should we have?
Christmas Eve, Zelda’s mom came down with pneumonia, and she ended up sleeping most of the day, leaving Zelda with nothing but her mind to keep her occupied. She didn’t have a ton of extra cash to make shopping worthwhile, and it was too cold to walk around New York just for window shopping. Instead, she found herself eyeing the small bag she’d carefully packed Magnus’s blood in.
With a sigh and feeling almost like she was fulfilling a craving, she took out the vial. Her mom didn’t have any kind of equipment here, but Zelda had also brought her notes, and she poured over them. Before, she’d identified as many aspects of Magnus’s blood and the werewolves’ blood as she could, and she compared them. Then she compared the two lists of proteins to that of humans and realized that Magnus’s blood contained a particular protein that the other werewolves lacked.
“Is that why you can gel with humans and the other werewolves can’t? Maybe there are other werewolves like you, and we just don’t know it yet.”
How many werewolves were there? If their numbers were dwindling, it was possible, maybe even likely, that Mother Nature would cause werewolves to evolve to the point that they could bred with humans to ensure their species did not become extinct.
Of course, this was all just theory.
Theory she might or might not be willing to put into practice…
Chapter 25
A week before Christmas, Magnus approached Leviticus for a meeting. It was late—the moon shone brightly down on them as they strolled the forest near the apartment complex.
“What is it you want, Magnus? Come to tattle on—”
“I can handle the others just fine.”
“Then what is it?” Leviticus snapped.
Magnus raised his eyebrows. “Someone has the holiday spirit in abundance.”
“I don’t need your lip.” Leviticus gnashed his teeth. “Do you have any idea… Of course you don’t. It’s not easy being alpha. It’s even worse when you’re leading a bunch of wolves who hate you.”
“Believe me. I know all about wolves hating you. Me. You know what I mean.”
“Out with it already.”
“I want to leave.”
Leviticus halted beside a tall evergreen. Snow had fallen earlier, leaving about two inches on the ground, but their light footsteps hardly cracked
the surface of the snow. “You want to be a lone wolf again?”
“Maybe. If she’ll have me.”
“That human. Zelda.” Leviticus crossed his arms. He didn’t wear a coat despite the freezing temperature. Neither did Magnus. Their bodies tended to run warmer than a human’s. “She’s got fire, that’s for sure, but you really want her over a werewolf?”
“I want her if she’ll have me.”
“And if she won’t? What then?”
Magnus nodded, making his mind up on the spot. “I still want out. This pack of yours… It’s toxic. For me. If you can fix it, more power to you, but… there’s too much hatred here for me, toward me. I’d rather be alone or find another pack—”
“With her, you won’t be joining another pack,” Leviticus pointed out. “No other pack would even consider… You want to—”
“Maybe.”
“Do you think that’s possible.”
“Maybe.”
Leviticus shook his head. “Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
“Nothing—”
“Nothing will change my mind,” Magnus said shortly. “Will you release me, or will I have to fight you for the right to be free?”
Leviticus chuckled. “You’ve regained your fiery temperament, that’s for certain. Are you ready to leave right now?”
“Yes.”
“What about your job?”
“I resigned.”
The alpha rubbed his temple. “This might help me, honestly,” he mumbled, “bt are you certain this is what you want? If you come crawling—”
“I’m not the crawling type.”
“Very well.” Leviticus lunged forward and gripped Magnus’s shoulders. His fingers turned into claws, digging slightly into his clothes.
A pressure formed against Magnus’s mind, and then it was gone. Poof! As if it had never been there in the first place. If something like this had happened when he’d been abandoned, he couldn’t recall. The pain was all he could remember from back then.
“It’s done. Go.” Leviticus turned away.
Magnus smiled. “Thank you,” he said, and he moved to walk around his former alpha.