by DD Cooper
For the rest of the day I waited for him to confide in me, and when we were all in the living room, he finally did.
“My brother’s been in an accident. I have to go to New York to see my family and be by his side.”
“Oh my god!” I didn’t know what I expected but it wasn’t this. “How is he? What happened?”
“He’s a racecar driver,” Jack explained. “I guess it happened on a test drive. He’s in a coma right now. They’re not sure yet if he’ll be able to recover.”
I immediately huddled closer to Jack and put my arms around him. Rory put a hand on his shoulder from the other side. “Anything you need, mate, just ask.”
“Thanks guys, but I need to start packing.”
“I’m coming with you,” I said. “You shouldn’t be alone at a time like this.”
“My family is...” Jack started to say then stopped himself. “It doesn’t matter. I want you there Sophie. Rory, I think you should stay here and watch this place. I’ll call you if we need anything.”
“If that’s what you want,” Rory said, seeming a bit disappointed, but it also seemed like he understood. I and Jack were together before he came into our lives, and we’d continue to be together once he decided to leave. It was better that he stay behind in paradise and enjoy himself than be dragged like a third wheel all the way to New York.
I went upstairs with Jack and packed some of my things as well as his. I gave him a hug and told him everything would be okay, even though I didn’t know for sure.
Several hours later, our flight was ready and we said goodbye to Rory. I kissed him lightly on the lips and whispered in his ear that he should enjoy himself. Jack kissed him on the lips, too, but much deeper. He put his hands on Rory’s face and kissed him and breathed him in. “See you soon, hopefully,” he told Rory as we waved goodbye. Rory looked crushed as he watched us leave, but that was the way it was.
Chapter Twenty-Two
After we landed in New York City, I was overwhelmed by all the sounds and sights, that I didn’t stray far from Jack’s side. Jack had a mild disguise on, a hat and sunglasses even though it was early winter here. I hoped no photographers would realize he was the Jack Stark, and thankfully none did. I guess if we were in LA it might be a different story, or so Jack told me.
The cab ride to the hospital went by without much talking. All I could glean from Jack was that he had three brothers. The one in the hospital was Brandon. The other two were Hunter and Aidan. They were all younger than him. Jack was thirty two, and Brandon, the youngest, was twenty five. He told me that their father left while his mother was still pregnant. I wondered if his mother would be there, and I hoped not. From what Jack had told me, I couldn’t think of her as anything else than a monster. My mother was no saint either, but at least she didn’t go out and deliberately hurt me. She was a highly disturbed woman, on drugs and alcohol, when she basically handed me over to the cult she joined. I’d like to think that she didn’t know too much about what was really happening once she fell asleep. But Jack’s mother? She willfully used her son, and gave him to the highest bidder, in order to help “his” career, which really meant lining her pockets while Jack did all the work.
It turned out she was there when we entered the waiting room, but Jack ignored her as soon as she looked up at him. She shut her mouth as soon as he turned from her, realizing that there was nothing she could say or do. She looked pretty made up, with fake everything, including a facelift it looked like. I pitied her, but I decided not to look in her direction too much. I stayed by Jack’s side as he talked to one of his brothers. His hair was brown and went down to his shoulders. He looked like bit of a rock star, or at least what a rock star looked like in my head. He had tattoos visible on his forearms.
“Hunter,” Jack said as he approached him. “How is he?”
“We’re still waiting for the doctor to arrive. They should have some news today.” Hunter looked up towards me. “And who’s this?” It didn’t sound accusatory, he just seemed curious so I relaxed.
“This is Sophie. I met her on Ravenswood island.”
Hunter extended his hand and I shook it. It was a strong shake. It seemed Jack wasn’t the only one who worked out.
“I’m Aidan,” said a guy with short dirty blonde hair. I shook his hand as well. All three brothers had something similar about them, yet something different as well. I wondered how Brandon looked. They all seemed in pretty good shape.
“I’m Margaret Stark, the mother of these lovely boys,” Jack’s mother said as she looked up straight at Jack. She didn’t extend her hand so I nodded curtly.
“Nice to meet you all,” I managed to say, although all I wanted to do was curl up under the covers and never come out. Maybe coming here with Jack was a bad idea. Maybe I should have stayed in the hotel room he rented.
Jack felt restless as we sat across from them. I kept close and kept my head down. I felt their eyes on me, especially the mother’s, and I felt like I was on a display in a museum. Jack said he’d go and get some coffees for us all and I joined him.
“Fuck,” he said as we turned a corner. “I knew this wasn’t going to be pleasant, but I really don’t want to be here.”
I squeezed his arm for comfort. “It’s going to be alright. Remember why you’re here: for Brandon. Just ignore everything else.”
“Easier said than done when I feel the glare of my mother across the room,” he said as he put some money in the coffee machine.
“You felt that, too?” I said.
Jack smiled weakly and nodded. “This must be hell for you, too, am I right?”
I wanted to say “hell yes” but it didn’t seem appropriate. His brother was in a coma after all, and we still weren’t sure how he was going to pull through. “Don’t worry about me, Jack. I’m fine.”
I added, “It’s you I’m worried about, Jack. How are you holding up?”
“Ask me when the doctor comes with the news,” he said and took hold of one tray of coffees while I took the other. We made our way back to the waiting area slowly, neither wanting to arrive there first, but eventually Jack did. It was his family after all. They were all strangers to me.
The doctor came eventually and said that Brandon would recover, and that they were going to bring him out of the coma in a couple of hours. Now all we had to do was wait. While waiting, I thought about my miserable existence before I met Jack. Oh, Jack. Wonderful, generous, beautiful Jack.
The house was big and old and all kinds of nice looking. Hunter let us in, and we entered. Margaret was back at the hospital with Aidan, providing moral support to Brandon. All these new faces to keep track of. It was all quite exciting and not to mention nerve-wracking. From the few times I interacted with Margaret I could see that she didn’t like me. She thought that I was beneath her, and in turn beneath Jack. She probably thought he should be with one of those beautiful actresses that are popular these days. I couldn’t really tell you their names but it was clear from the look in her eyes that that was what she wanted for her son.
“Did you grow up here?” I asked Jack and he nodded quickly, cleanly not in the mood to talk about it. I guess the house didn’t hold many fond memories for him. Thinking of it, he probably didn’t spend much time in it anyway, since he was working on movies at the time. From the little he told me, I was surprised that child labor laws weren’t in place to protect kids like him. But I wasn’t really versed in those matters, so I can’t really say for certain. All my points of reference were from classic novels, which were mostly dull if I was being really honest, but it sure beat reality most of the time.
Walking into this beautiful house in New York made me feel like a character in a novel. But then I remembered all the things I had been through, and especially things that I had done, and I almost laughed at the prospect. What kind of author would have me as a protagonist? What kind of story would that be? A horror to start with, with glimmers of light, all of which shone from a star, a movie star in
this case. Jack Stark. My body yearned to be close to him again, but I could feel him growing distant. The doctor said that his brother would recover, given some time, but that he probably wouldn’t be running again in this lifetime. Dreams shattered, dreams reformed as nightmares. Such was life, I thought, such was the existence of being born into this world. Nothing stayed the same. Everything changed, no matter how hard we tried to keep things the same. I learned that the hard way. I credited Jack with changing my world, but much of the credit also belonged to Josie. I had her last journal with me and I felt better that it was always by my side. Hunter had led us to a room up the stairs at the end of the hall. “Just like you left it, bro,” he said and went back downstairs. Jack took one look at the room and turned around.
“I’m gonna get myself a drink. Wanna join me?” He asked me.
I kissed him lightly on the cheek, breathing in the smell of him, feeling his warmth enveloping me. It was hard to let him go. “I’ll be right down. Let me just unpack a few things.” The reservations at the hotel were canceled because the family needed to be together to support Brandon at this difficult time. Not surprisingly, Jack wasn’t fond of the idea and just caved in when his brothers talked him into it.
I closed the wooden door behind me. I had the urge to lock it for some reason, but I didn’t. I unpacked a few of our clothes and put them in the closet, which was mostly empty expect for a couple of old shirts. The walls were unadorned. It was just like another room. It was hard to believe that a teenager, or even younger, boy had ever lived in it. I unpacked Josie’s journal and put it in a drawer. I laid on the bed, which was big enough for two, and looked up at the ceiling, trying to imagine what a young Jack would even do in a room like this. It didn’t seem fun, or lively. Frankly, it felt like going into an old person’s room just as they were about to take their last breath. Thankfully, the room did have a bathroom, which was a nice surprise. I fixed myself up in the mirror. Long brown hair, a little makeup. I definitely didn’t look like an actress that was in Jack’s league. But he loved me anyway, so that didn’t really concern me. What did concern me was his family. Would they all hate me? The brothers I met, Hunter and Aidan, seemed nice enough, but perhaps they were just being polite. I wondered how many other girlfriends they’d had to be nice to.
Instead of going downstairs and having anyone else’s eyes on me but Jack’s, I found myself taking off my shoes and just laying on the bed. Tears started to drip from my eyes and I honestly didn’t know why this incredible sadness came over me. I felt my body tighten at the thought of ever going anywhere else ever again. I loved Jack, but I wasn’t sure I was ready to meet his family, or spend any amount of time with them. All I could think about was how they were judging me. Even if it wasn’t true, which in Margaret’s case probably was true, I still felt like an interloper. They had history I only knew the bare facts of. I didn’t know much about his brothers besides their profession. Hunter, the long haired one was in a rock band, but his main profession was as an artist. Aidan, the blonde one, was a chef, and Brandon, the one in the hospital, was a professional race car driver, but not anymore if I had to guess. He’d have to find something new to do. And what was I besides being Jack’s girlfriend? A waitress in a diner on Ravenswood island, an island I vowed never to return to?
Maybe that was why I was crying. I was nothing. Nothing without Jack, and that made me kind of sad. What did I want to contribute to this world? Frankly, I just wanted the world to leave me alone. But here I was. Jack had found me, had brought me out of my shell by shattering its hard exterior. Rory was a cop. Maybe not anymore, but at least he had that identity. What was I? A murderer? I tried to shake these thoughts away, but I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Now that I had other people, people who didn’t love me just for me, looking at me, I felt incredibly inadequate.
“What do you do, dear?” Margaret had asked me in the hospital, and I was at a loss for words.
“I was a waitress,” I finally said, and I could see the look in her eyes change from condescending to pure disgust. I hated her in that moment, but I hated myself more. I had excused myself and went to the restroom and sobbed for a good fifteen minutes. When I had returned to the group Jack told me to ignore her, that she was a vile woman. His words were meant to make me feel better, but they did nothing of the sort. They just told me that Jack had seen how weak and vulnerable I was.
Eventually I made my way downstairs after splashing some cold water on my face. The house was big, and there was wood everywhere. It took awhile to find the door to the kitchen. It reminded me a little of the mayor’s kitchen, except this one was a lot larger and had a huge island, nay table in the middle. I found Hunter and Jack sipping beers. When Jack saw me his face lit up, and that made me feel a bit better. He offered me a beer but I yearned for water instead, so he handed me a bottle from the fridge. I sat down next to Jack and sipped my water.
Jack put a hand on my shoulder and traced his hand back to my own. It felt good to feel his touch again, to feel his, and just his attention on me. But we weren’t alone. Hunter was here, and I realized his eyes were on me as well.
“It must have been fate,” he finally said and I looked up at him, confusion clear on my face, so he continued. “I mean about the two of you meeting on that island, in the middle of nowhere. Jack told me. Two Americans, on an island, trying to get away from their pasts, meet and fall in love. It sounds like of one of Jack’s movies or something.”
I relaxed a bit and smiled. “It wasn’t really as simple as all that, but I guess that’s the gist of it.” I hoped that’s all that Jack told him. No one else needed to know about our little murder spree. Sure, it was justified, but if you weren’t there to witness it, it would probably sound a little crazy.
“Well, anyway, I’ve never seen Jack so happy. So calm, especially when he’s around you. You guys must be doing something right,” Hunter said and took a swig of his beer. I tried to take his words as a compliment, but my thoughts somehow connected them to my thoughts of worthlessness. What was I without Jack? Did I have a separate existence from him? I sure hoped so, but it seemed ever since I let him into my life I sort of lost myself in him. And that’s exactly what I didn’t want to happen. But didn’t Jack lose himself in me as well? But then Rory came along, and all three of us couldn’t keep our hands off each other. It was all so complicated, I did not know what to think anymore, so I took another sip of my water while Hunter and Jack talked about Jack’s plans to return to acting. Jack was adamant that it wasn’t going to happen any time soon so that made me feel a little bit better.
The rest of our day was spent preparing a first floor room for Brandon’s arrival. To be honest, Hunter and Jack did most of the heavy lifting, but I did help put some fresh linens on the bed.
“Do any of you still live here? With your mother, I mean?” I asked Hunter when we found ourselves alone in awkward silence while Jack went off and did something else.
Hunter put his hair behind his ears, reveling his handsome face, while his tight t-shirt showed off the nice body he had. “We all live away from home, but mother is rarely alone. Usually one of us crashes here one time or another, when things get a bit much in the outside world.”
“So you have a good relationship with her? Jack...” I didn’t want to finish that sentence. I didn’t want to open any old wounds.
“Yeah, Jack and mother don’t get along. This is actually the first time they’ve even seen each other in years. It’s sad that it took Brandon’s accident to get us all together under one roof again, but at least it’s something, right?” He was quiet for awhile so I thought that was it, but before I had a chance to come up with something else to say he continued. “I know what you’re probably thinking. How could we stay close to her after what she did to Jack?”
I nodded.
“Well, it’s a little more complicated than that. She was mostly a good mother to us, and she tried to make us successful people in this world. She just happened to pus
h Jack harder than the rest of us, because he was the oldest I guess. But look at him now! He’s a famous actor with money to burn. Who wouldn’t want to live that kind of life? People would kill for less.” I saw a hint of jealously in his eyes, but it was gone as soon as I noticed it.
From the things he was saying, I realized that he had no idea what actually happened to Jack as a child. The way his mother just looked the other way just so he would get the best roles in that sick cesspool known as Hollywood. No wonder Jack hated her so much. I could see why he didn’t want his brothers to know what actually happened, though. If they didn’t believe him, or maybe if they did but still continued the relationship with the woman who was mostly good to them, it would absolutely crush him.
“Talking about me?” Jack startled me when he put his arms behind me and spoke the question. I nearly jumped out of his arms. “Relax, Sophie, it’s just me.”
I breathed hard, my heart beating who knows how fast, and tried to calm myself down. “You just surprised me that’s all,” I finally said after I’d calmed down a little. Jack massaged my shoulders with his big manly hands and I felt better for the contact.
“So you were talking about me,” he said matter of factly.
“Maybe a little bit,” Hunter allowed. “But the world doesn’t resolve around you, Jack. Well maybe most of it does, but not in this house.”
Hunter didn’t sound bitter saying those words. He just sounded like a brother teasing his older brother about something. They both laughed about it, and I sighed in relief. The last thing I wanted to cause was a fight.
We went back to the kitchen, all three of us, and made something to eat. I won’t go into too much detail, because I always find it boring when characters in novels talk about the food they’re eating. Who cares? Unless it’s a book about food addiction or something, it really doesn’t have much place in the narrative. But my life isn’t really a narrative, is it? I thought about Josie’s journals, and her life definitely didn’t have a narrative arc. She was there, and then she wasn’t. It was up to me to find out what had actually happened to her. And once I did, my whole world turned upside down. Literally.