by DD Cooper
Once the screen started counting down from ten to one, I remembered some old movies I’d watched and feeling like I had time traveled back to an earlier, simpler time. The house, now the home theater. Maybe I did. But then the booming sound came on, and the images on the screen were in perfect color. This was definitely a modern production.
The title flashed across the screen: The Many Faces of Jack Stark: a film by Hunter Stark.
“Don’t tell me you want to be a filmmaker now?” Jack asked his brother.
“Shh,” Hunter said and kept his eyes on the screen. “The show is about to start.”
Images flashed. All Jack. All different hairstyles, clothes, time periods. This was a montage, or clip show, of all the different roles Jack had played over the years. I watched, all my attention on the screen. There was Jack young, older, and how he looked like now. I laughed at the appropriate times, because Hunter had made it so that all the scenes would be entertaining in their own right.
I sat fascinated by all the different roles Jack had played over the years, and so convincingly it seemed. I recognized a few from my marathon with Lucy, but most seemed new to me.
Hunter had spliced the different scenes together so that it seemed that multiple versions of Jack were talking to each other and we all laughed at it, even Jack. But mostly I just took it all in and was amazed at how amazing Jack really was. It was easy to think of him as an actor before, but now I knew he was. And not a bad one at that. There were many different characters presented in the montage, and I thought Jack did well on all of them. I squeezed his hand while my eyes were glued on the scene, to show him that I cared. He kissed me lightly on the cheek and went back to watching himself.
And then it was over, and I wanted to see it again. I wanted to see every film or show Jack had starred in.
“Okay, I gotta admit, that was funny,” Jack finally said after the credits rolled.
“So I definitely have a shot at directing?” Hunter obviously joked, though I sensed there was something more underneath it, perhaps a hidden desire he was afraid to show anyone?
“Definitely,” Jack said and hit him on the shoulder.
“Well, that was fun,” Aidan said. “But it’s been a long day. I’ll got check on Brandon again and then I’m going to turn in for the night. Goodnight guys.”
“Goodnight,” I said.
It was just me, Jack and Hunter now.
“What shall we do to pass the time?” Hunter mused out loud as he popped popcorn in his mouth. Each of us had taken a little from the big bowl in his lap, but it seemed that he was going to end up eating most of it.
“I’m game for anything,” Jack said. “What about you Sophie?”
I shrugged. “Sure, anything,” I said.
“In that case, I will show you guys my new skill: bartending! I’m a alcoholic drink master now!” Hunter seemed excited. He put his bowl of popcorn to one side and sat up from the seat. The rest of us did the same.
“Since when?” Jack asked, genuinely surprised.
“Since a few months ago. But the details aren’t that interesting. Let’s just say I tended bar for a bit and learned some valuable skills.”
Jack looked surprised. “If you needed...” he started to say, but Hunter cut him off.
“Let’s not have that conversation again. Remember how it ended last time?”
Jack nodded. Neither decided to elaborate, but it was pretty easy to figure out that it had not ended well at all. I guess money was a touchy subject. It seemed that Hunter wasn’t fond of handouts and wanted to make some himself and not just rely on his big brother. It made sense. From the little I knew of him, he seemed like he didn’t want to be known as Jack Stark’s brother, but as his own person. It made some kind of sense, especially since being Jack’s brother probably attracted a lot of people who weren’t really good for him.
So Hunter made us drinks. I requested a girly drink with as little alcohol as possible. I didn’t want to be dealing with a hangover in this house, especially under the scrutinizing eye of their mother. Plus, if I got drunk, I didn’t know if I could keep my mouth shut about the things that I knew. It still made me sick on the inside that none of Jack’s brothers knew what their mother actually did to him. I guess every family has its secrets, but this was a pretty big one. But then again, Jack and I had some pretty big secrets as well, so in a sense I was glad he could keep some things to himself, even from his closest family members.
It was late by the time Jack and I went up to bed. We were so exhausted, the good kind of exhausted, that we really didn’t have energy for anything but to fall asleep in each other’s arms. And that’s exactly what we did.
Chapter Twenty-Five
The next few days passed in a blur. Nothing of significance happened, though little by little Brandon seemed to be coming back to the world of the living. I stayed back as they talked to him, made jokes, and tried to get him to talk about what had happened. Brandon refused, at least while I was there, to say anything about the accident except that it was a stupid mistake and that was it. The brothers laid off the subject and tried to cheer him up in different ways. Brandon seemed like he was trying, but because so many drugs were still in his system, he didn’t have much energy to spend on board games or watching TV or anything of that sort.
The days passed by in a haze, with stolen moments of sexual desire reaching their natural conclusion, usually in Jack’s bedroom, or sometimes even in the dark corners of the house where few wandered. I held on tight to Jack and thanked my lucky stars that I had such an amazing man in my life.
Pretty soon, I got sort of accustomed to life in Wood House (that’s what they called it). I got accustomed to avoiding Margaret, and I learned more about the brothers. One day I was wandering around the house while Jack was away and heard the most wonderful music. I went by closer and heard a man sing while playing his guitar. I leaned in by the door and watched Hunter for awhile. Until he noticed me, and then he stopped completely and of course I blamed myself.
“Sorry, you shouldn’t have stopped. It was lovely,” I said and realized I still sounded a bit British.
Hunter smiled. “It’s not finished, that’s why I stopped. I’m still working out the kinks.”
“It sounded pretty beautiful to me, but I’m not a music critic, so I wouldn’t really know,” I said as I played nervously with my hair. Hunter invited me in my patting the seat next to him. It was only then that I noticed that it was a piano stool and that there was a big dusty grand piano right in front of him. I couldn’t resist. I always wanted to learn how to play piano, but it never happened. I sat down next to him and took the cover from the keys to reveal a perfect set of black and white keys, free of dust or any degree.
I played a few notes here and there, afraid to look like a fool in front of a real musician. It would have been just as bad if he’d caught me doodling something, since Jack said he was that kind of artist as well.
“Do you play?” I asked him.
“A little,” he said. “But I prefer the guitar. Mostly because it’s easier to carry around.”
At that I laughed and so did Hunter. He had a beautiful smile, and I wondered how any girl could cheat on him. With his brother no less. Yes, his brother was Jack Stark, famous actor, but Hunter wasn’t a scrooge either. There were similarities between them, but Hunter had his own unique beauty and perspective as well. Just like all the brothers. If there was one thing Margaret did right, it was that.
“Play for me,” I said and closed my eyes.
Hunter, to his credit, didn’t say a thing and started to play a lovely melody that I could get lost in. He kept on playing and playing as I lost myself further and further in it.
Finally, he stopped, and it was such a shock, that it took me a few moments to come back to myself. “Beautiful,” was all I said.
I looked at Hunter and he was looking at me like a lost puppy. “Thanks, Sophie. Jack is lucky to have you.”
“I know,” I s
aid and smiled. “But I’m lucky to have him as well.”
“I could give you a few basic lessons, teach you all I know on the piano, if you want,” he said, seeming uncertain, probably afraid of rejection. There were more layers to Hunter than I’d realized. At first he seemed like care-free guy who could get any girl without much trouble, and he probably could, but he was also very sensitive underneath it all. He reminded me of myself a little bit. In all the years I’d built that shell around me. I still felt things, but I refused to acknowledge them.
I nodded. “It’s not like I have anything else to do here, right?” It didn’t come out the way I wanted it to, but I didn’t see any great reaction on Hunter’s face.
“Well then,” he straightened his back in the chair and motioned for me to do the same. “Our first lesson starts today.”
I won’t say that we made beautiful music together that first day, but I will say that we tried.
One day Jack surprised us by standing at the door and looking at us playing a piece together. I laughed and smiled at all of Hunter’s little jokes, but mostly I was thankful that he had taught me something I wanted to learn for so long. At that particular moment we were intent on playing a piece together that we’d composed ourselves over several days. I’d tried to convince Hunter to put some lyrics to it, but he said it wasn’t quite ready. I had already composed some on my own, but I was afraid to tell him.
Jack startled us that day after we were finished with the piece. “So that’s where you two have been hiding,” he said, with his arms crossed over his chest.
He didn’t seem angry, though, just mildly amused, which made me happy. I looked up at him and smiled. “Hunter’s been teaching me piano,” I said as way of explanation.
“I can see that. And a good teacher he is,” Jack said as he entered the room. Hunter smiled, but seemed a bit uncomfortable, on edge now. It was only understandable. He had been caught doing something private with his brother’s girlfriend.
“Play something else for me,” Jack said as he stood high above us. It was as if he was demanding it of us.
“I’m not quite ready for that kind of playing, yet,” I said. “But I’ll be sure to tell you when I am.”
Jack looked over at Hunter whose head was down, as he stared at the keys. Suddenly, he played a few ominous notes, breaking the tension in the air. We all laughed. “We still got work to do, big brother. You have to be patient,” he said.
“Fine, fine, but could I steal my lovely girlfriend for a bit?”
“No problem,” Hunter said, looking back at me with a smile that said more than he realized. “We’re done for today, anyway.”
“Good,” Jack said and took my hand as I got up to go.
“See you later, Hunter!” I managed to get out before Jack dragged me away completely, leaving Hunter alone in that dusty music room.
“I missed you,” he said as he put an arm around my waist. “We should go out for a walk.”
That was a surprise. From the way he was acting I thought we were going straight to the bedroom.
On the way out we ran into Brandon and Aidan. Brandon was wheeling himself from one part of the room to the other while Aidan watched in frustration.
“I can just push you!” Aidan protested.
“I want to wheel myself around, I can’t have you as my nursemaid for the rest of my life, can I now?” Brandon looked angry, but determined, I thought, as I saw him go from one part of the room to the other. He had curly brown hair and a growing beard now. I couldn’t help but admire his arm muscles in the red t-shirt he was wearing.
“We’re going out for a walk,” Jack said to Brandon. “Wanna join us?”
Brandon was covered in sweat. It seemed that the effort took a lot out of him. He looked down at his nonfunctioning legs. “You’re joking, right?”
Jack looked up at Aidan.
“No, thanks, I’ll stay here and make sure our brother doesn’t kill himself.”
With that, we left them to their own devices at the house.
I put on a jacket and we were on our way. Jack’s hand was in mine, and that little warmth made me feel better about everything. I felt safe and sound in his arms, and I hoped that would never change. We walked in silence around and behind the house, going the familiar route that led to the stream.
“You’re awfully quiet,” I said. “Anything happen in the city that I should know about?” Jack had left for the city a few days ago to handle some business. I wanted to go with him but he said it was going to be a nightmare, going from meeting to meeting. It seemed his agent became aware that he was back in town and took a flight to New York City. I had an idea who might have slipped that piece of information, but I kept it to myself. Sometimes his mother made me so mad, that I had to get out of the house so that something wouldn’t happen. I certainly didn’t need any more blood on my hands, much less of an old woman who probably couldn’t defend herself. I say probably, because I wasn’t so sure she wasn’t some nightmarish creature from a fairy tale that fed on her offspring.
I shook the thought from my head and focused on what Jack was saying.
“It was a shitstorm,” he said. “But I got through it. And now I’m here with you, and that’s all that matters.”
I huddled closer to him, breathing in the smell of him. “I missed you, too.”
“It sure didn’t look like it earlier,” he said and looked straight ahead.
I stopped our walk and looked him straight in the eyes. “Are you jealous of me and Hunter? That’s crazy. He’s been teaching me how to play piano, that’s all.”
“I saw the way he was looking at you,” he said. “I know what that look means. I’ve practiced it plenty of times in the mirror for a role. Don’t try to tell me you haven’t noticed it either. He’s falling in love with you, Sophie.”
I unwrapped myself from his grasp and walked on ahead of him. “That’s crazy,” I finally said. “Why are you doing this? Is it because I finally found something I like to do? Are you afraid that I won’t have enough time for you if I actually decide to do something with my life?”
“Now you’re the one that sounds crazy, Sophie. I don’t have a problem with you doing whatever it is you want to do with your life, just please don’t do it with my brother. Is that too much to ask?”
“And who would I do it with, Jack, huh? It’s not like I have any friends. The one friend I had you shot right in the head, remember?”
Jack looked away. “She was a crazy ass bitch,” he said. “I did you a favor.”
“Is that what you want? For me to stay home all alone waiting for you to appear? Is that what you want my life to be? Well, guess what Jack, I want something more. I love you and I always will. I even let you talk me into a fucking threesome, but I need to have a life of my own.”
“You can have a life of your own, but what do you plan on doing? Are you going to start touring with Hunter, sing and play in dive bars, hoping you’ll get discovered? Because that’s the future that awaits you if that’s the life you choose.”
I couldn’t believe what he was saying. How could he turn a little thing like me learning how to play piano into a whole career that involved me and Hunter singing and playing together, going on tour all over the country? I couldn’t fathom what the hell was going on in his head.
“I can’t talk to you while you’re like this,” I said and quickly walked away, in search of that peaceful stream.
Jack ran after me, of course. “Okay, maybe I took that way out of proportion, but I just don’t want you to leave me. Is that so hard to understand?”
“Why would I leave you Jack. I love you and only you, why is that so hard for you to believe?”
He looked away and I could see the shame in his eyes. He might have been a big shot movie star, but he still had his insecurities.
I leaned in close until we were breathing the same air. “You have nothing to worry about,” I said and then turned toward the stream. Usually I wouldn’t ha
ve minded Jack being with me, I actually preferred it, but the way he was now, angry and jealous, I didn’t want him around me at the moment.
“Where are you going?” He yelled after me, but he had enough sense not to follow me.
“I need some time alone. You should cool off a bit, as well, Jack. I don’t like you when you’re like this.”
With that I left him behind and walked slowly through the woods. It was a beautiful sunny day, though not too warm by any stretch of the imagination. I could hear birds chirping in the distance. When I saw the stream my mood immediately brightened. I sat down on the ground and watched it flow down. The beautiful crystal clear water holding many secrets that became visible if one was willingly to sit still and look. I lost myself in the world of the moving water, daydreaming of plunging in and never coming out again. It was a pretty shallow stream, though. It would probably barely go past my knees if that much if I were to stand in it, but these suicidal thoughts, Ophelia-like in their intensity, visited me most often when I was alone.
For the first time since I’d met Jack I felt utterly scared and alone out here, not in the way I felt before, but in a different way. Before, it was the ghosts of the dead that had haunted me. Now it was the thought of losing Jack that gnawed at me. What if Jack found someone else and decided to leave me? Where would I be then? That’s why it was so important for me to find my own identity separate from him. If he left me now when all I had was him, I wasn’t so sure I could continue living. And that was what made me the saddest of all. After he’d shattered the shell I had so carefully built around myself, Jack took hold of me completely, smothered me in his love. He told me that all he needed was me as well, but was that actually true? Wasn’t he the one who suggested letting Rory into our relationship? He had grown tired of me. I was no longer exiting.
Tears streamed down my face as I entertained these thoughts. I looked down into the water to distract myself but instead of seeing my own wretched reflection, I saw a woman with shoulder-length red hair and a bullet in her head. Lucy. She looked at me with such hatred in her eyes that I immediately jumped back from the reflection. When I looked back, she was still there. I closed and opened my eyes and she was still there. “What the hell?” I said out loud to Lucy, or just the whole blasted universe.