Dan didn’t want Knox to finish his thought. “She’s a nice girl.”
That only seemed to urge Knox on. “The best kind of hottie,” he assured him. “She’s yours exclusively, until you don’t want her anymore,” Knox concluded with a knowing air that Dan found extremely abrasive.
Had he been that shallow, that callous-sounding when he was back in New York? Dan couldn’t help suddenly wondering. He hardly related to the man he’d been anymore. In an effort to move to better ground, Dan tried to guide the conversation in another direction. “So, you still haven’t told me. What are you really doing out here? We don’t have any five-star hotels.”
“Listen to you,” Knox hooted. “‘We.’ What ‘we’? You’re not part of this place. And I told you,” Knox reminded him. “I came to see you. To find out if you’ve gotten tired of slumming and playing the dedicated doctor yet.”
Dan tried not to lose his temper, reminding himself that he and Knox had history and did go way back. “I’m not playing—”
“Sure you are,” Knox insisted with a mocking laugh. “Don’t get up on your righteous soapbox with me. This is Knox you’re talking to. I’ve seen your dark soul. This is just something you felt you had to do, I get that. But if you recall, you had the good sense to give yourself a time limit to being a martyr. Nine months or until another doctor could be found, whichever came first, remember?” he prodded. “Well, I’m here to tell you that you don’t have to wait any longer to go back home.”
Dan felt himself growing rigid. “There’s a doctor coming out?” he asked in a low, deliberately unemotional voice, not trusting himself to speak any louder.
“No, but these people waited all this time for one, they can wait a little longer,” Knox argued. “You’ve got a life to get back to, Danny-boy. A damn special career waiting for you. It’s not going to wait forever, you know. That medical firm will bring someone else in if you take too long getting back.”
With a sigh, he drew his chair in closer to Dan, as if the closer proximity would somehow add weight to his words.
“You can’t just throw it all away because some jerk plowed into the cab you and Warren were in and killed Warren. That wasn’t your fault,” he argued. “And even if it was, that’s no reason to throw everything you worked for all those years away just like that. You’re not thinking with your head,” Knox said, tapping his forehead for emphasis.
Dan jerked his head back, annoyed. “You don’t understand—”
“I understand,” Knox interrupted. “You feel guilty. So, give them some money.” By his tone, it was obviously the perfect solution to the other doctor. “This place looks like it could sure use some money dropped on it. What was it you called it when Warren said he was coming out here?” Knox tried to remember. Then did. “Dogpatch? Well, from what I see, it really is Dogpatch. And you don’t belong here. You knew it three months ago, before you left on this penance mission. Nothing’s changed.”
Knox sighed, seeing that he was making no headway. “Look, Dan, if it makes you feel less guilty, I’ll see if I can talk Lieberwitz into coming here and taking your place. You remember Stan Lieberwitz, right?”
Knox couldn’t be serious. Dan vividly remembered Stan Lieberwitz. He’d spent countless nights tutoring the man, trying to give him a workable system to remember in order to pass his tests.
“He barely graduated at the bottom of our class. There was no one under him.”
“Hey, they still call him ‘doctor,’ don’t they?” he reminded Dan. “And that’s all these people need, a doctor. Where does it say it’s gotta be a doctor who’s throwing away a damn good future, who graduated, at the last minute, with honors for God sakes?” He rose to emphasize his point. “Tell me you’ll at least consider it, Danny-boy. Please. Now, where do you go in this two-bit town for a good time?”
To Tina. I go to Tina, Dan caught himself thinking.
But he knew he couldn’t make his friend understand. Because three months ago, he had been just like Knox and he hadn’t understood Warren when Warren had tried to get him to see his point of view. That there were things that went beyond prestige and an enviable position in the hierarchy.
Oh, he’d humored Warren, but he hadn’t understood. Not until he’d come here and worked among real, decent people who needed him and who were there for one another without question.
He’d found something far more precious here than the envy of his peers. He’d found a purpose.
“You can go get a bite to eat at the diner,” Dan told him, knowing that wasn’t what Knox meant.
“I wasn’t thinking of eating,” Knox answered. And then his eyes widened as, apparently, a horrible thought occurred to him. “Oh, God, don’t tell me you’ve gone dry.” He didn’t wait for an answer but went with his assumption. “This is worse than I thought. I’m going to have to lead an intervention down here for you.” It was hard to tell if Knox was serious. The man had a tendency to get carried away once in a while.
“I’m not the one who needs an intervention,” Dan replied quietly.
“You are from where I’m standing,” Knox assured him with a shake of his head.
He didn’t want to argue and he didn’t want to drive a wedge between them. “C’mon, let’s get something into you and we’ll talk about this later. Right now, you can just catch me up on what everyone is doing.”
“That’s easy. Everyone’s worried about you,” Knox said glibly, walking out with Dan.
But Dan hardly heard him. He was looking around the waiting room. It was empty. Completely empty. He knew that there were no more patients, but Tina always waited for him and they had dinner together. She hadn’t said anything about leaving early.
“Tina?” His voice echoing back was his only answer. Dan called her name again, louder this time as he walked to the rear of the clinic. He thought perhaps he’d missed her on his way to the entrance.
He hadn’t. She wasn’t there, either.
Doubling back, Dan stopped at her desk. Opening the right drawer where she always deposited her purse, he saw that it was missing. That only meant one thing. She’d left for the night.
A cold fear suddenly materialized, taking hold of his gut and twisting it.
“What’s wrong?” Knox asked, seeing the look on his face. “Was the hottie supposed to stay and wait for you? Did I interrupt something?” he asked with an unmistakable leer.
He didn’t have time to humor his friend anymore. “Shut up, Knox,” Dan snapped as he stormed toward the door.
It hit Knox like a ton of bricks. “You care about her, don’t you?” he asked in amazement. “You actually care. Who’d have thought it?” A laugh accompanied the enlightenment. “Hey, I didn’t mean to spoil anything for you with the hottie.”
He’d had enough. Dan whirled around, grabbed his precariously close-to-being-an-ex-friend by the shirt and growled, “Stop talking about her if you know what’s good for you.”
Knox spread his hands out in the universal sign of surrender, wanting to placate him. “Hey, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean anything by it—”
Releasing him, Dan hurried out the door without another word.
“Okay,” Knox called after him. “We’ll talk later.”
Dan blocked out the annoying noise, focusing only on the urgent need for damage control.
Now.
Chapter Sixteen
Tina’s heart felt like lead in her chest as she drove away from the clinic.
How could she have been so stupid? So naively gullible? Hadn’t she had enough lessons? What did it take for her to finally learn? Even lower forms of animal life eventually caught on to behavioral patterns. Was she really that dense?
Or just that stubbornly hopeful?
Using the back of her wrist, Tina angrily swiped away the trail of tears that slid down her face no matter how much she willed herself not to cry. It wasn’t worth it.
He wasn’t worth it.
Okay, so he’d never come right out and said
he loved her—and now she knew the reason why—but he’d acted as if he did. Acted as if he really cared about her.
What d’you expect? For him to kick you out of bed? Of course he acted like he loved you. How else was he going to get you to make love with him?
No, not make love, she corrected angrily. Have sex. That’s what he was doing while she was making love. He was having sex. Cold, unadorned, unadulterated sex, nothing more. Very good sex. Okay, exquisite sex. But bottom line, it was sex and had absolutely nothing to do with love.
She was an idiot to have believed it was anything else.
Who knew how long she would have gone on in her deluded ignorance if she hadn’t overheard Dan and that other doctor talking? The door to Dan’s office had been partially ajar and Knox’s voice had carried out to the waiting room. Before she knew it, she’d caught herself eavesdropping.
And then she’d felt her stomach lurch, tightening so hard she thought that she was going to throw up. That was when she’d quickly taken her purse and left. Or as quickly as she could on legs that had gone numb—along with the rest of her.
Idiot! she upbraided herself, the tears streaming again.
Well, that was it. She was through with men altogether. No one was getting near her heart ever again. Except for Bobby. But that didn’t count because he was her son.
Oh, God, this hurt so badly she didn’t think she could stand it.
Taking a breath to steady herself, Tina forced her mind to focus and look through the windshield. She hadn’t realized until this moment that she’d unconsciously driven to the diner. Habit.
Well, she might as well go collect Bobby and go home. She fervently wished that she didn’t have to face Miss Joan but there was no getting around it.
Flipping open the mirror hidden inside the driver’s side sun visor, Tina did what she could to repair her face and hide the very obvious signs of her distress. With any luck, Miss Joan was busy and she could just scoop Bobby up from one of the waitresses who watched over the boy.
Bracing herself, Tina pasted a smile on her face and walked into the diner.
When the door opened, Miss Joan looked over in her direction, saw Tina and smiled. “Hi, Baby Girl.” And then, as she really looked at Tina, the smile faded. “Take over, Julie,” she said sharply to the waitress closest to the counter.
Making her way around it, her eyes never leaving her goal, she was beside Tina in an instant. Miss Joan draped her arm around Tina and steered her toward the back of the diner and her tiny office. Only when she was inside the room and had closed the door behind them did she finally speak.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
Tina deliberately avoided the woman’s eyes. “Nothing’s wrong. I’m just tired, Miss Joan.”
Circling until she stood in front of the young woman, Miss Joan lifted her chin with the crook of her finger and forced Tina to look at her.
“Don’t you lie to me, Baby Girl,” Miss Joan said firmly. “I can spot a lie a mile away. Now what’s wrong?” she repeated.
Knowing it was futile to resist or stall, Tina told her. Actually, it was more like she completely broke down and poured out her heart. She told the woman everything she’d heard and everything she felt in the wake of that information.
Miss Joan listened in silence, nodding once or twice and making no excuses for Dan. Now wasn’t the time, even though she had a feeling that what Tina’d heard was not all there was to the story. The fact was that she would have been willing to bet her soul on it, but Tina, Miss Joan knew, was too hurt to listen. The young woman needed to give herself a little time to process and to think it over.
There was a piece that was missing. A piece that, once it came to light, would make Tina feel much better. Miss Joan was sure of it.
“Go on home, Baby Girl,” Miss Joan urged softly. “I’ll keep Bobby here. One of the girls’ll bring him over later.” She squeezed Tina’s hand, mutely comforting her. “Go out the back way,” she instructed. “You don’t want to walk by everyone out front right now,” she assumed wisely.
Tina tried to smile her thanks, but her mouth just refused to curve. Pain weighed her down. “Thank you,” she whispered.
Miss Joan smiled, patting her shoulder. “It’s why I’m here,” she answered simply.
Walking back out to the front of the diner after Tina had left, Miss Joan judged that it would only be a matter of time.
And she was right.
Actually, she thought, Dan had gotten here a lot sooner than she’d figured he would. That had to count for something.
Miss Joan made herself both visible and accessible, but offered him no greeting as she cleaned the surface of a counter that needed no cleaning.
DAN’S HEART WAS POUNDING as he burst in through the diner’s front door. Tina’s car wasn’t out front, but he hoped she was here. He knew that she regarded Miss Joan as a second mother, and Miss Joan could always be found here. It was only natural that this was where he’d find Tina.
Except that he didn’t.
Not unless she was in the back office, Dan suddenly thought, remembering that Tina did do Miss Joan’s accounts. A small ray of hope lit up the darkness inside of him.
“Miss Joan—” he began as he approached the counter.
Miss Joan glanced up as if this was the first she was aware of his presence. But instead of offering a greeting, she merely told him, “She doesn’t want to see you.”
That froze him in his tracks. He glanced around the diner, as if he’d somehow missed seeing Tina when he’d scanned the area. “Then she’s here?”
Miss Joan shook her head. “Not anymore.”
What did that mean? Before he could ask, Dan suddenly heard Bobby squeal gleefully. Turning, he saw the boy standing up in a small, makeshift playpen. The enclosure, with mesh running along its sides, was tucked over in the corner.
“She wouldn’t have left without Bobby,” he said accusingly.
“Nobody said anything about leaving,” Miss Joan informed him. “What I said was that she’s not here.”
“Then where is she?” Dan had demanded.
“You’re a bright boy. You figure it out,” Miss Joan returned.
A soul-draining sigh escaped Dan’s lips as he turned to go out again. Right now, his option was to drive around the town and hope he’d spot her.
But even as he made up his mind on his next course of action, he took a moment to walk over to Bobby’s playpen and pause for a second.
Seeing him, Bobby began to jump up and down excitedly in anticipation of getting a playmate for however short a period of time.
Dan ruffled the boy’s soft, still downy hair. “Can’t stop and play with you right now, kid,” he told the little boy. “But I’m coming back and I’ll make it up to you. We’ll play later. After I find your mom.”
As he began to walk out the door, Miss Joan called out to him. “Go easy on her. She’s very vulnerable right now.”
“Makes two of us, Miss Joan,” he said under his breath as he left.
He went to Tina’s sister’s house first and only met disappointment there, not to mention that he also had to field several questions about why he was looking for Tina in the first place since she was supposedly working for him.
“Her picking up and disappearing days are behind her.” Olivia told him what she had come to firmly believe. The new mother had come to the front door, her tiny daughter comfortably nestled and asleep against her shoulder.
He fervently hoped so, Dan thought as he apologized to Olivia for disturbing her.
Retreating, he got back behind the wheel of his car and thought for a moment. Could Tina have just gone home? Was it as simple as that? He hadn’t thought it could be that easy.
He’d assumed she would be seeking solace from her friends, not going where she could be alone. He learned something about Tina every day and desperately wanted the lessons to continue. Indefinitely.
Arriving at Miss Joan’s small, two-story house he go
t out of the car and walked up to the front door—where he stood for several beats, getting up the courage to confront Tina. Trying not to think that he might not be able to convince her that he didn’t share Knox’s opinion of things. He wasn’t going to get anywhere standing out here like some coward, afraid to take hold of his own life.
Dan rang the doorbell and then, impatient, knocked half a second after that.
On the other side of the door, Tina came hurrying over to answer it, thinking that maybe Miss Joan had changed her mind and decided to send Lupe over with Bobby after all.
Swinging the door open, she started talking to Lupe before she realized that it wasn’t the waitress standing on the doorstep with her son.
It was Dan.
Hot anger raced through Tina, smothering the quick, almost involuntary shaft of happiness that had shot through her when she saw him there.
That was just a knee-jerk reaction, nothing more, she told herself. The anger, though, was well deserved. Furious, Tina tried to swing the door shut again, but he was too quick for her, putting his foot in the way to keep the door from meeting the jamb.
He braced the door with his hand, keeping it in place. “Please, Tina, let me in.”
“Not anymore,” she snapped, stubbornly trying to push the door closed. It was no contest. He was too strong for her. “I’m going to purge you out of my life,” she shouted. “Go back to New York with your friend where you belong!”
Dan pushed harder and succeeded in getting her to back up and out of the way. Walking in, he informed her, “I don’t belong in New York.”
“Oh, no?” Her eyes narrowed into angry slits. How stupid did he think she was? “That’s where your friend thinks you belong. And from what he said, that’s what you think, too.”
He wasn’t about to lie to her. “I did,” he acknowledged, then quickly added, “but I don’t anymore.”
“Oh?” The edge in her voice mocked him. “And what changed your mind?” she asked, her voice growing harder. She didn’t believe him for a minute.
Dan looked into her eyes and answered quietly. “You.”
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