by Ana Layne
“Ruston, promise me this changes nothing.”
“Tam, I swear this changes nothing for me at all.”
He slides his hand inside my panties this time and the moisture wraps around his fingers. Closing my eyes, I give myself over to him. Fuck, I’m unraveling.
“You’re so wet. My God, I don’t think I’ll be able to handle being inside you.”
Before I can think about what I’m doing, I reach down and grab hold of his cock. Gently, I stroke it and listen as he begins to moan. He fingers me faster and I try to keep up the pace. I can hardly breathe. My heart is beating ninety to nothing. My body begins to convulse and he suddenly slides down, my hand losing grip on his cock. He plants a kiss on the inside of each of my thighs before moving his mouth to taste my sweet juices. My God, I could almost orgasm again from the feel of his lips on me.
“Ruston, I love you,” I murmur. As soon as the words come out, I realize I meant to keep it to myself.
He stops and moves up to look me in the eyes. “I love you too, Tamilyn. I’ve loved you forever. You’ve got to know that.”
“Will you show me how much you love me?”
He reaches down for his wallet and pulls out a condom. I’ve always heard a lot of guys carry a condom in their wallet but I never expected to see Ruston doing that. At least we’ve got protection because that would have halted this quickly. He tears the wrapper and slides the condom on. He slides slowly into me and my whole world stops. Nothing else matters right now but this moment. Nothing matters except for my arms wrapped around his back and him thrusting into me.
Nothing matters except our tangled bodies lying in my bed after he exploded my world for the second time tonight. Our legs stay intertwined and I have no desire to move or have him move from this spot. I yawn but I don’t want to fall asleep because now I’m scared that in the morning we’ll both deeply regret this. We are both drunk and we just crossed the mother of all lines. I gave my body, heart, and soul to him moments ago and now I know this is one dirty little secret I’ll be taking to my grave. But is it a secret that can be kept?
Chapter 7
Ruston
The sun peers through the blinds and I sit up abruptly, wondering where I am. One look at Tamilyn lying naked wrapped up in her comforter brings me back to reality. I remember everything, every kiss, every touch, and I regret nothing. This has been a long time coming for me and yeah, it may have taken a little liquid courage to get me to this point but she knows how I feel, and most importantly, I know how she feels and there’s no turning back.
I glance at my phone and remember that Austin and I are supposed to be at the gym today. I haven’t even filled out the paperwork and I left it in my apartment. I reach for my jeans and slide them on. A yawn fills my ears and I turn to see Tamilyn waking up. Her eyes widen and she hurries to cover herself better.
“So this wasn’t a dream.” She brushes a strand of hair out of her face.
“No, it wasn’t. Are you okay?” Panic washes over me. She’s regretting last night, I know she is. Dammit.
“I’m fine, Rus, that was just…wow. I don’t even know what to say. Oh, where’s my shirt?”
I stand and walk to her dresser, pulling out the first t-shirt I see. I toss it to her and excuse myself to the bathroom. When I walk back out, she’s standing and stretching in nothing but a t-shirt and a pair of panties.
“Do you really have to do that?” I ask her. My cock is growing hard just watching the sides of her shirt ride up.
“I’m just stretching, you perv.” She casually walks over to me and wraps her arms around my neck. “This doesn’t change anything, right? I don’t want you to start avoiding me or shut me out if this ends up feeling awkward.”
“I could never shut you out, Tammy Lou. Nothing changes. I’m still me and you’re still you. We’re the same people we were before. Don’t worry.” I press a soft kiss on her nose. “I’ve got to go, though. I’ve got to go home to change and meet Austin at the gym. Do you have any plans this evening?”
She lets her head hang slightly and rests it on my chest. She hasn’t said anything yet but I’m not sure if I like where this is potentially heading. “I, uh…already told Austin I’d see him again tonight, but that was before any of this happened.”
“I understand.” A lump forms in my throat. I should have known but I was too wrapped up in finally getting to be with her that I didn’t ask any bullshit questions like that. “Well, text me later or something, okay?”
“I will. I have a photo session today for a couple, but when I’m done, I will. I’m sorry, Ruston. I feel like I just ruined everything.”
“What he doesn’t know won’t kill him,” I tell her confidently. I’ll just have to watch myself around him today and not like anything slip out about where I really was. I know I’d be pissed if the roles were reversed but I can play this game. He can’t just waltz into town and try to take what I want more than anything in this world.
***
I pull up to the gym and notice Austin is already here. Damn, he didn’t even text me this morning but then I didn’t try to contact him, either. I grab the papers Howard handed me yesterday and grudgingly walk inside. I spot Austin back at the weight benches with Lance. Just thinking about him seeing Tamilyn again this evening makes my stomach turn, but then I remember I have something he doesn’t have—her heart.
“Hey man, I was wondering if you were coming back.” I turn to see Garrett walking toward me. I think I’ll like him. He seems really down to earth.
“Yeah, I was just running a little behind this morning. I, uh…have my papers.”
“Howard’s in the office. You can drop them inside and then meet me back out here.”
I nod and turn to walk toward the small office. Howard’s eyes light up when he sees me and he reaches out for the papers in my hand. My phone vibrates and I notice a text from my dad. Oh shit, I’m supposed to be at the office with him today.
“Good to see you back,” Howard says. “I’m guessing you’ve already talked to Garrett?”
“Yes, sir. I’m supposed to meet him on the mat.”
“All right, I’ll cut you loose. If you need something, I’ll be around here. Oh, I told Austin there’s a fight this evening if you two wanted to check it out. Lance has a match tonight. I think it’d be good to see. You can get a better feel for everything.”
Stepping out, I open the text from my dad to see he’s wondering what time I’ll be at the office today. How the hell could I forget this?
Sorry Dad, Austin had me join this gym with him but I’ll be there probably around lunch time if that’s okay.
That’s okay. We have a new project we need to start on so just get here when you can.
Yes sir.
I take my phone along with my wallet and keys and ask Garrett where I can set them. He points to a set of lockers against a wall and I find an empty one.
Garrett waves me over to the mats where he briefly begins to explain the art of what they do. He shows me the gloves I’ll wear and how to throw a hit. I’ll need practice throwing a hit as well as he does, but I also remember this is my first time. I don’t focus on anything else around me, wondering what he’s going to show me next. He doesn’t throw too much into today because I know he’s trying to not scare me off. I practice throwing a few hits at him while trying to remember to keep myself balanced.
Time seems to fly and I glance at the clock on the wall to read it’s past ten in the morning. Howard comes flying out of the office, causing everyone to freeze. “Garrett! You need to get to the hospital. Raegan’s water just broke.”
Garrett’s face turns pale like he’s just seen a ghost but at the same time, he’s grinning like a fool. “I’m going to be a dad today!” He beams as he rips the gloves off his hands.
Lance runs over to him to hug him. “We’re going to Disneyworld next, right? Us and all our kids, fuck yeah!”
“Dude, shut up. I only have one kid, you have two, so
you have all the kids. I’ll call you when the baby is born.”
“Fuck no, that’s my partner in crime. I’m calling Hilary and we’ll meet y’all there because you know Howard and Whitney are going, which means no one will be here and just to remind you, Hilary hasn’t had the baby yet.” He turns to look at me and Austin. “No offense, guys.”
“None taken. Congrats, man,” I tell Garrett. He just smirks and runs out the door with his keys.
“Damn.” Austin chuckles as we leave. “I was hoping we could get a chance to spar together. Maybe tomorrow. I guess I’ll call Tamilyn and see if she’s free.”
I grit my teeth trying to pretend I am not hearing any of this but it’s too late. His words are embedded in my brain and I’m jealous as fuck, even if I slept with her last night. “She had a photo session today so she’s probably busy right now.”
Austin raises his eyebrow suspiciously while I kick myself in the ass for opening my mouth. “How do you know that?”
“She’s my best friend. We talk all the time, in case you forgot.” He’s only been here a few days and each day has been a complete nightmare. Part of me is scared that it’s just going to get worse and worse.
“Oh, yeah. Well, tell me about last night. What was her name? Must have been good because you never came home.”
“Uh, yeah, it was all right. We stayed pretty busy if you know what I mean so I found it easier to just stay the night.” I will never tell him who I was with and making up a name is nothing but more trouble.
“Hell yeah! At least someone in the apartment is getting some action. I plan on getting a little something soon, if you know what I mean.” He’s fucking with my head. I know he is, but I still turn to face him. His eyes are menacing and I want nothing more than to fucking punch him in the throat right now.
“Dude, shut up,” I warn him.
“What? I’m attracted to her. I know she’s got to be attracted to me. That’s what people do, you know. You did it last night.”
“You really think she’s going to sleep with you?” I cross my arms over my chest as I stop next to my truck.
“No doubt. I’ve got moves that make panties drop, Ruston. Moves you only wish you had.” Goddamn, he’s cocky as shit.
“Okay, well, I’ve got to go help my dad at the office. I’ll catch you later.”
“Unlike you, I’ll be home later.” He laughs as he climbs into his car. Before I can blink an eye, he’s backed out and headed down the road.
I climb into my truck and punch the steering wheel. I want to text Tamilyn and beg her not to see him anymore but who am I to tell her who she can see and who she can’t? I’m trying to not drive her away. Fuck, this is such a damn mess, and all I can do is hope that she doesn’t fall for his so-called panty dropping moves.
Chapter 8
Austin
Moving here was against my will, of course. No one ever asks what I really want to do. They just think, Oh he’s trouble, we can’t deal with him. I tried to convince my parents that street fighting wasn’t me anymore. I’d found a gym back home, but I only spent a few months there before they just decided to send me away. So my parents called my aunt and uncle and boom, shipped me here to Houston, Texas to live with my cousin Ruston. I haven’t seen him in fucking forever. He’s pretty much what I remembered him to be except older, and he’s still wrapped around Tamilyn Hudson’s finger. She’s grown—fucking beautiful as hell now, and I want her. That night at the bar, I could see the jealousy all over Ruston’s face but it isn’t my fault he never made a move on her. He probably never will because he’s that nice guy. His loss is my gain, and after dinner last night I was hoping to get a little closer to her, but that didn’t work. Tonight, though, I feel it’s going to be different.
Back home, I never tried for a relationship with any girl. They were all pretty much the same, like me. They wanted one thing, the same thing I wanted, and it was nothing but a mutual exchange and then on to the next. Sex was merely a tool, and I wanted nothing more, but seeing Tamilyn awakens everything inside me.
I drive back to the apartment and I’m relieved to be alone just for this little bit of time. I need time to relax. I was hoping to be a little more active at Lou’s today, but there’s always tomorrow. I have a feeling once things really get started that I’ll be sore and wishing I was able to relax like this. I take a shower first to prepare myself for this evening, then retreat to my bedroom.
I lie on the bed and grab my phone. I know Ruston said Tamilyn was busy, but I choose to ignore him for the time being. She may be taking photographs right now, but she can still reply when she gets a chance.
So are we still on for this evening?
A few moments pass before a response comes through, but I’m patient so it’s not like it’s killing me or anything.
Oh hey! Yeah. Taking a break from the gym?
You could say that. One of the guys’ girlfriend or wife is having a baby.
Oh that’s awesome! Well I’m in the middle of a photo shoot so I’ll be a little longer.
Just let me know when you’re ready.
Okay.
Seconds turn into minutes and minutes turn into hours and no word from Tamilyn yet. The faint sound of the doorknob turning fills my ears and heavy footsteps alert me to the news that Ruston is back. I glance at my phone to see it’s a little after five.
In the living room, I find him setting his phone and keys on the kitchen counter. “Hey, man, home so soon?”
“Yeah. I’m surprised you’re still here.” He grabs a bottle of water out of the refrigerator and takes a big sip.
“Not for much longer. You heading out again tonight?”
“No, I’m staying in. I think I had enough fun last night. I need to relax, especially since we got off easy at the gym today.”
I laugh at him. I’ve never known him to be a real physical guy. Truth is, I never thought he’d actually join when I asked him to. “You’re really going to stick with this? I’m surprised.”
“What? I can’t join a gym? I may have no full intentions of fighting inside the ring like you plan to do, but I can train and build myself up.”
“Dude, you sound like such a pussy.” I laugh. My phone vibrates and I see a text from Tamilyn. It’s time for me to get the hell out of here. “Enjoy your night alone. I’m heading out.”
He waves as I walk out the door and I don’t look back. If I’m going to stay here in this city, I’m sure as hell going to enjoy myself.
Chapter 9
Tamilyn
Fighting the urge is never easy. In fact, I almost feel like I have some sort of insane addiction to my best friend and all I want to do is text him. But I fight it, because I’m not being fair to Austin. I know I was worried things would change but ultimately it looks like I may be the one to change them. I love Ruston. I guess being around someone all your life potentially leads to feelings that are out of this world. This is going to become a mess. Why Austin came walking into our lives at this moment, I’ll never understand.
I finish brushing my hair. All in all, I’ve had a great day and I couldn’t be more blessed. The couple I took the pictures for were nothing short of amazing. They were incredibly photogenic and it was easy to see how in love they were by the way they looked at each other. I took so many amazing photos, I think they will be very pleased. While I snapped away, it seemed like I caught every loving emotion possible. I want what they have. I want someone to gaze at me like I’m the only woman on this earth. I want someone to want me the way her fiancé wanted her. I’m such a hopeless romantic and it’s pitiful.
A knock on the door pulls me away from my fragile state of mind. Nothing seems right anymore. Lines were crossed last night. I don’t know that I’ll ever be able to look at Ruston again without thinking of the night I drunkenly gave myself to him. The kisses, the touches, the passion. I’m getting bothered just thinking about it. I shut the light off as I walk slowly to the front door.
I don’t even bothe
r looking through the peephole, I just open the door and there stands Austin, grinning. I turn to grab my purse and my keys. My phone is tucked safely in my back pocket along with anything to do with Ruston. I need to try to just enjoy myself this evening.
“Ready to go?” Austin places his hand on the small of my back as we walk toward his car. His touch should electrify me, make me feel something, but it doesn’t. That doesn’t mean I don’t like him. I guess we just don’t have that chemistry yet.
“Yeah, where are we going?”
He opens the car door and I slide in. I wait patiently for him to get in so he can answer my question. “Well, there’s a fight tonight I wanted to check out. That okay with you? Oh, hey, it’d be pretty cool if you brought your camera. You could probably take some badass action shots.”
I think about what he just said for a moment. That could be pretty cool. “Give me a second, I’ll go grab it.” I open the door and run back to my apartment. I unlock the door and make a beeline for my camera. Within seconds, the front door is locked again and I’m back inside the car.
Austin heads straight to a small arena on the other side of town. As he’s hunting down a parking spot, he starts laughing. “So did you hear what your boy did last night?”
“My boy? What are you talking about?” I ask, confused.
“Ruston. Did he tell you he stayed the night with a girl?”
My saliva gets caught in my throat and I begin coughing. Fuck. When I finally catch my breath, I reply, “Oh, no, I haven’t talked to him.” It’s not like I can just come out and say, oh yeah, he was with me!
“That’s funny. He said he talks to you all the time.” Austin pulls the car into a parking spot and turns to face me. Why do I feel like I’m being put on the spot right now?