by Beth Andrews
She reached up and covered his hand. Held on to it. “I thought I loved him. But it was too fast. I let myself believe in something that wasn’t there and I rushed into something I wasn’t ready for.”
He remembered how upset she’d been when they’d kissed in her room. “I won’t rush things with you. I swear to God, Gracie, we don’t have to do anything...” He glanced around but they were, of course, totally alone. He lowered his voice. “You know. Sexual. I just want to be with you. I was scared, these past few months, afraid of getting hurt again, of making another mistake like the one I made with Kennedy, but I don’t want to live that way anymore. I want you, Gracie. Please, please say you want me, too.”
“I do,” she said softly, squeezing his hand and giving him the best Christmas present ever. “I want you, too, Luke.”
* * *
“NOW I HAVE to kill him.”
Daphne, sobbing into Cyrus’s neck, glanced up at Zach. He’d said it flatly, almost in resignation. “Don’t start with me, Zach,” she said, hating that she’d kept it together all morning while packing, saying goodbye to Fay at Bradford House, during the drive into Pittsburgh and the flight back to Houston. She’d even been composed seeing her mother and receiving her hug and Christmas greeting.
But as soon as Cyrus ran up to her, tongue lolling out, tail wagging ferociously, she’d lost it.
“I’m not starting anything,” Zach said, his face drawn, his mouth a flat line. “I’m just stating a fact. Oakes hurt you and now I have to kill him.” He lifted his good arm. “Of course, I’ll have to figure out how to do that as a lefty, so it might be a year or two before I’m able to.”
She sat on the floor with her dog, the lights on her mom’s Christmas tree twinkling merrily. The sight of it, the scent of pine made her think bitterly of how in a year’s time Oakes would probably be celebrating the holiday with some other woman. He’d have his perfect life with someone with no complications. “You were right,” she muttered to Zach. “Are you happy now?”
“Ecstatic.”
She rolled her eyes at his sarcasm. Sniffed mightily. “Look, I should have listened to you, okay? I went after Oakes, no holds barred, and I got hurt. Just like you said I would. He broke my heart. So, congrats. You tried to warn me but I didn’t listen.”
“Yeah, I was right,” Zach agreed. “Just as I’m right about this—whatever happened between you and Oakes wasn’t only Oakes’s fault.”
Her eyes narrowed to slits. “Whose side are you on?”
“Your side,” he said simply. “Always. But being on your side doesn’t mean pretending I don’t see your flaws. No one is perfect. Not even Oakes. You made the decision to change the dynamic between you two, and now nothing between you will ever be the same. That’s not on Oakes. That’s on you.”
“He’s the one who’s not brave enough to go after what he wants.”
“It’s not about bravery. You know Oakes. He doesn’t do risky. He doesn’t rock the boat, and you in his life is like riding a tidal wave in a dinghy. You pushed him, you expected him to fall in line because you wanted him so much. But you didn’t consider what he wanted.”
Zach’s words hit her like a slap. Her throat tightened. She shook her head but the denial wouldn’t come. Oh, God. She had done that. She’d pushed and pushed, had manipulated Oakes and every possible situation to get the result she wanted.
And it had backfired. Now she’d lost him for good.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
IT WAS SNOWING.
Well, that only added to the surrealism of this situation, Daphne thought as she carefully made her way up the walk toward Oakes’s mother’s house. The lights blazed, the large, ornate house welcoming and decked out in gold twinkle lights, the Christmas evergreen wreaths still hanging on the door and windows. It was like something out of a magazine, the perfect home with the perfect family.
How could Daphne compete with that? Her imperfections made her who she was and if she had her way—if she could convince Oakes to give her a chance—she’d be asking him to risk losing his family.
She stumbled on the first step leading up to the front door. She was asking him to risk a lot. And what was she giving up? Nothing. She’d be getting everything.
She’d come here because she couldn’t stay away. Had planned the whole thing out, had practiced her arguments but now...now she wasn’t so sure.
She forced herself to ring the bell. The long driveway was filled with cars, expensive vehicles that cost as much as one year of her grad school tuition. She heard faint music from the other side of the door, something jazzy and fun.
But the festive mood—the laughter and chatting—dimmed the moment Oakes’s mom pulled the door open. She smiled at Daphne, looking confused. “Yes? May I help you?”
She’d only seen Oakes’s mom a few times, never this close. There was no reason to. By the time she’d divorced Senior—and stopped being around during Zach’s visitation with his father—Daphne had been only three years old. During the time Oakes came into Daphne’s life, he was nearly an adult and hadn’t had his mother hanging around.
She was, as Daphne had imagined, beautiful and classy in a sparkly silver top and black pants. “Hello. Happy New Year,” Daphne added, seeing as how it was getting close to midnight. It had taken her a week to decide what to do, hours to work up the courage to come here and now that she was here, she wanted to turn and run like hell. “I’m looking for Oakes.”
As if sensing she wasn’t going to like the answer to her question, Oakes’s mom’s expression tightened. “And you are?”
“Daphne Lynch.”
She flinched slightly. “I see.”
“I’m sorry to interrupt your party,” Daphne added hastily, anticipating having a door slammed in her face for the first time in her life. “But I really need Oakes. I need to see him,” she amended. “Please.”
Mrs. Moore nodded. “Of course.” She opened the door wider. Gestured inside. “Won’t you please come in?”
Daphne shook her head. “I’m fine waiting out here.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. It’s freezing and...” She leaned out, to peer up at the sky. “Snowing. Come in. I insist.”
Daphne stepped inside. “Thank you.”
“I’ll just go find Oakes.”
Daphne nodded and waited in the foyer, with its tile floor and vaulted ceiling. The sounds of the party drifted toward her, the music and conversation, along with scents of whatever food was being served.
“Daphne?”
She turned to find Oakes standing in the doorway, a frown on his face. God, he looked so handsome in dark pants and a deep green shirt that brought out his eyes, the sleeves rolled up.
He was perfect.
And if she got her way, she’d completely mess up his life.
“Are you all right?” he asked, maybe concerned she hadn’t said anything yet. “What’s wrong?”
She almost laughed but figured if she let loose, she’d wind up hysterical. What was wrong? Everything. “I... I’m fine. Nothing’s wrong. I—I missed you. And I didn’t want to... I mean, you hurt me and I thought that was it. I’d just sort of purge you from my mind but it didn’t work. Then I waited. I waited all week, hoping, praying you’d come for me. That you’d call or text or just...show up at my door like some guy from a romantic comedy, make some grand gesture to show me you regretted losing me. But you didn’t.”
He stepped toward her and she knew he hated that he’d hurt her. “Daphne, I—”
She held up her hand, stopping him and his words. “So I got the brilliant idea that I’d come to you. That I’d show up here and you’d see me and realize what a mistake you made.” She knew his mother threw a New Year’s Eve party every year, which he never missed. “That you’d take one look at me and realize how much you
love me. That you’d tell me I was worth giving up anything—everything.” She swallowed, felt hot with her coat on, but she didn’t dare even undo one button. “I was wrong. All this time I was so wrong and I only just realized it. I tricked you, manipulated you into taking me to Kane’s wedding.”
“Daphne,” he said, his tone gentle and understanding, which just about killed her. “You didn’t trick me or manipulate me.”
“Oh, but I did. I used your goodness, your kind, giving nature against you, making you think you were doing me some huge favor. But it was all part of my plan. My scheme, as Zach called it, to get you to fall in love with me. I’d had feelings for you for so long, and I thought if we spent some quality time together, I’d know for sure if what I felt for you was real. And I tried everything to get you to fall in love with me, too. It backfired. I came here tonight wanting one thing, but now I know it’s the wrong thing. Because manipulating you and the situation in Shady Grove was selfish—and so was me coming here tonight. I ruined everything between us and now we can’t even be friends. I’ve lost you and I’ll have to live with that. I hope you can someday forgive me.”
“Oakes?” a female voice asked as a slinky blonde came up beside him, linking her arm through his. She smiled at him then turned that perfect grin on Daphne. “Hello. I’m Sylvie.”
Oakes hadn’t taken his eyes off of Daphne. “Sylvie,” he said, giving her hand a pat. “Would you excuse us for another minute?”
“No,” Daphne said. “That’s okay. I was just leaving.” She turned and walked to the door, looked back at Oakes. “I hope you get everything you want,” she said quietly. Then bolted, not even daring a glance back when he called her name.
* * *
OAKES STOOD THERE like an idiot, a beautiful blonde at his side, his mother and the rest of his family and closest friends inside celebrating the last night of the year.
And all he wanted was the woman who’d dashed out into the night.
This wasn’t working. His life wasn’t working. He’d tried so hard to keep it controlled and calm, no bumps in the road, no wrong turns. But how could what he feel for Daphne be wrong? He hadn’t been able to stop thinking about her. The past week, knowing he’d never have her in his life, had been hell.
He couldn’t spend another minute without her. Wouldn’t deny himself, not any longer.
“Sylvie,” he said, turning to the blonde. “I’m so sorry but this was a mistake.”
Sylvie inclined her head. She was brilliant and it only took her a moment to realize the woman who’d been in the foyer was the reason for this. “I see. I can’t say I’m surprised. I’m assuming that woman was your date to your brother’s wedding?”
“Yes. I’m sorry.”
“No hard feelings, Oakes,” she said. “We made no promises to each other. However, I’m no longer in a party mood so I think I’ll just head home.”
“Let me walk you to your car,” he offered.
“No. I can manage. I think you’d be better off going after her,” Sylvie said with a nod at the door. “Don’t you?”
He squeezed her hands and then ran out into the night. Luckily, there were so many cars to weave through, he was able to catch up with Daphne at the edge of the driveway. She’d just hit her key fob, had the lights on her car flashing as it unlocked.
“Daphne!” he called, his feet slipping on the slick pavement. “Daphne!”
She froze then slowly turned and the sight of the tears on her cheeks almost undid him.
“What are you doing?” she asked, frowning and looking behind him as if she expected his mother to call on the dogs to chase him down. “Go back inside, Oakes. Please.”
“No.” He took a hold of her arms, turned her to face him. “I’m not letting you get away.”
She sniffed, looking defeated. “Don’t you see? It was a trick. You didn’t want me. Not really.”
He laughed, the burst of air forming a small cloud before disappearing. “You may have set things in motion but you didn’t trick me into anything. I’ve wanted you for so long and I thought that if I could have you once, just once, I could walk away. I was wrong. Sure, I can live without you, just as you can live without me. We could both move on, find someone more suitable or easier, someone who won’t make waves in either of our families, but I don’t want to.”
Because she didn’t look as if she believed him, he kissed her. Poured his heart into the kiss, wrapping his arms around her and holding her to him tightly. He never wanted to let her go.
When they broke apart, she was crying again.
“Please don’t cry,” he said, his voice unsteady.
“I can’t help it,” she said. “I don’t want you to give up anything for me. Your mother—”
“My mother will understand. Eventually. And once we get through a few unpleasant moments, she’s going to love you as much as I do. It won’t be easy, there will be some rocky and rough times, but we can get through them. Together.” He cupped her face with his hands, the snow falling gently to sparkle on her dark hair, reminding him of their first real kiss over a week ago in Shady Grove. “Please give me another chance.”
With a happy sob, she threw herself into his arms. “I love you,” she whispered, hugging him fiercely.
“I love you, too.” He leaned back so he could look into her eyes. “I love you and I choose you, Daphne. I promise, I will always, always choose you.”
* * * * *
Keep reading for an excerpt from FIRST LOVE AGAIN by Kristina Knight.
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First Love Again
by Kristina Knight
CHAPTER ONE
“BUT IT ISN’T FINISHED.”
Jaime Brown pushed a lock of curly blond hair behind her ear, but it was so muggy on this May afternoon that the lock sprang right back to the side of her face to tickle the sensitive skin along her jaw.
“Isn’t like your little party is tomorrow. There’s time.” The grizzled head of the renovation project scratched dirty hands over his scruffy chin.
Luther Thomas had sounded fatherly over the phone when she’d hired him. Competent. He might be good at his job, but after five days on the island he and his “crew” had put a few holes in the room walls downstairs and that was it. She’d found them drinking at the tavern, fishing on the docks and sitting under the big maple trees in the parking lot, but as far as actual work went she hadn’t seen much.
Plenty of time. No, there wasn’t. The reunion might still be six weeks off, but there were two complete stories of the old school building to renovate. Having the ground floor demo’d was a huge step in the whole process.
“We’re knocking down walls, rebuilding a staircase and replacing old windows. That isn’t just slapping up a new coat of paint.” She pushed the long sleeves of her gray T-shirt up her arms, hoping for a little relief from the heat.
Damn the month of May, anyway. When she’d left her cottage on Gulliver’s Island this morning it was a comfortable sixty-five degrees with a light breeze blowing in from the west. Perfect weather for lightweight-but-long-sleeved. But the crazy weather along this part of Ohio’s Lake Erie struck and the breeze changed to a full-on wind, bringing in muggy air that didn�
�t usually hit until after Memorial Day.
What she wouldn’t give to pull the shirt over her head. The ribs on her left side twinged, as if the scars covering them were still raw, brown with dried blood and ugly. No chance she’d pull the shirt off, even if her sports bra covered more than the bikinis she used to wear on hot summer days.
“Don’t worry about it,” Luther said, beginning to sound like a broken record. Every time she asked about the teardown, the shape of the staircase and the windows she got either a “don’t worry about it” or a “plenty of time” answer. Well, she wasn’t taking that answer this time. The project might not be important to Luther, but it was important to her.
To the whole island community.
She folded her arms beneath her breasts. Through the fabric, her fingers instinctively sought out the scars that were now faint pink lines crisscrossing her ribs and one ugly, jagged mark that reached over her left breast. She’d rebuilt her life over the past ten years; she could deal with a lousy construction foreman.
“When we spoke on the phone you assured me this section of the building would be finished this week.”
“The reunion isn’t tomorrow or even next week.” Luther didn’t bother to look at her when he spoke and Jaime gritted her teeth. “We’ve got six more weeks to finish.” He kept walking toward the door.
Jaime followed the tall, foul-smelling, dirty-jeans-wearing lunker of a man she would never have hired if she’d met him in person. But people could hide all manner of things over video chat, although it had never failed her before. Like breath that reeked of stale beer at nine-thirty in the morning. She wrinkled her nose and then swallowed. He picked up the hammer he’d left at the bottom of the staircase leading to the second floor of the run-down school house.
She had convinced her father and the rest of Gulliver Township’s trustees that she would have it restored by July, in time for her high school class to host the annual Gulliver School Reunion.