by Jana Mercy
“Me too,” she said. “Still, there was nothing to be gained by not forgiving her. But thank you, Nate. You’re a wonderful friend.”
“That’s not what your stripper boy thinks.”
Her heart fluttered. “You’ve spoken to Gray?”
“More like listened while he gave me an earful about wanting to know where you are.”
Sophia heard a muffled noise in Nate’s background. Was someone there? Probably Joey. Last she spoke with him, Nate continued to see the lusty TBI agent.
“You didn’t tell him anything?” she asked.
“No but it’s only a matter of time before he finds you. I’ve probably helped you remain hidden as long as possible. Actually, it surprises me he doesn’t already know where you are. The man works for the Tennessee Bureau of Investigations. You’d think he’d have connections.”
“You’d think,” she murmured. Nate wasn’t telling her anything she hadn’t thought a thousand times. If Gray wanted to find her, all he had to do was make a few phone calls and someone would hand deliver her address and numbers. He probably had access to databases that would tell him what shade of lipstick she’d put on this morning. He apparently didn’t want to know.
“Did he say how he was doing?” she couldn’t resist asking. Not that she had any right. No, she and Gray had cut all ties. Too much distrust and bad water under the bridge, they’d agreed.
“Not really. The guy is tighter lipped than the vaults at Fort Knox.”
Sophia let his comment digest. Yes, she imagined Gray didn’t reveal much. To anyone.
“And Joey?” she asked, to change the subject. “Are you still seeing her?”
“As it fits into our schedules. Which is how I ran into Gray last night. I’m in Nashville this weekend.”
“He was with Joey?”
“They do work together.”
“Yes.”
“There’s not any hanky-panky going on between them. Joey and I have an agreement.”
Sophia rested her forehead against the cold windowpane and stared out at the busy streets below. “Yes, well, I suppose I should get back to work before Mr. Carlton catches me on a personal call.”
“On a call with me? I seriously doubt he’d say a word but I get your drift. You’ve got work to do and don’t like the current topic of conversation.”
“Yes. Thanks for calling, Nate. Tell Joey I said hello.”
“Will do. And Gray?”
“What about him?”
“What do you want me to tell him?”
They’d had this conversation a dozen times before. She never hesitated. She always told him not to tell Gray anything. That he meant nothing to her. Lies. All lies. She knew it and so did Nate. But they went through the ritual each time. So why the hesitation today?
“Tell him.” She paused again. A million things ran through her mind. That she loved him. That life just wasn’t the same without him. That she wanted to wake up in the back of his pickup with his arms wrapped around her and love in his gaze. That she wanted his trust and his heart. “Nothing.”
“You’re sure?”
She inhaled a steadying breath. “I’m sure. Bye Nate.”
The phone line clicked dead in Gray’s ear.
“You know, I feel like a total ass for letting you listen in.” Not looking one bit remorseful, Nate sat the portable phone on the tabletop in his recently purchased Nashville penthouse.
“Why did you?” Not that he was complaining. It shocked the hell out of him when Nate called Sophia and tossed him a spare cordless.
“I wanted you to hear what I hear.”
“Which is?”
“She’s miserable but not going to admit it. Just like someone in this room.”
“You?” Gray guessed.
“I’m not the one who’s going to bed alone.”
“Good point.”
“What are you going to do?”
“Nothing. I’m a big boy and can manage to go to bed alone just fine. Can handle things all by myself when the need arises.”
“That was way too much information, pal.” Nate picked up his coffee cup and took a sip. “I meant about this mess between you and Sophia.”
“There isn’t anything between Sophia and me.”
“Therein lies the problem.”
“With all this psychobabble, I’d tell you not to quit your day job but you already have.”
“Not quite, just handed over the reins to the many brilliant hands on my payroll while I see some of the world and do some of the things I dreamed of doing as a kid.” Nate’s gaze shifted to the woman walking into the room. “Do some of the things I dream of doing as a man,” he continued, his gaze locking on to a very tousled Joey.
Based on the men’s boxers and T-shirt she wore, she’d just crawled out of bed. She dropped onto the beige leather sofa, her astute green gaze bounced from one man to the other.
“What did I miss?” She turned to Nate and playfully smacked his arm. “Why didn’t you wake me? It’s almost noon and I had things I needed to do this morning.”
“I’d say you’ve already made great headway on what needed to be done.” Nate dropped a kiss on her upturned lips.
Gray looked away. Watching a couple make out didn’t rank anywhere on his list of things to do. As a matter of fact, he avoided anything and everything that would make him think of Sophia.
Normally.
This morning when Nate called, he instinctively knew the summons had something to do with her. And he’d gone anyway.
“We’re embarrassing Erickson.”
Had that mellow tone really been Joey? Gray stared at her in astonishment. It still amazed him how Joey transformed from fierce lioness to purring kitten when Nate was around. Amazing. “Disgusting me is more like it.”
“Just because you aren’t getting any horizontal action doesn’t mean the rest of the world shouldn’t be.” Joey tossed a throw pillow. “Maybe you’ve forgotten how much fun great sex is.”
He caught the cushion and toyed with it between his hands, staring at the intricate star pattern. “How do you know I’m not getting any horizontal action? For all you know I did the wild thing last night. Hell, I could have been banging some broad when Nate called this morning.”
“But you weren’t.” Her knowing, smug smile was going to do him in. Women. They were all so damn superior.
He tossed the pillow back at her. “Fine. I haven’t had sex in—” Why was he telling her this? “None of your business.”
“Not since Sophia left town,” Nate helpfully supplied.
“Look at the time.” Gray glanced at his watch, not caring that even a fool could read his actions for what they were. “I’ve got to go.” He stood from the settee. “Work to do. Bad guys to catch.”
“Woman to call.”
“Sorry, pal. There’s where you’re wrong. I’m not calling her.”
“She’s ready to come home.”
“Maybe you missed the part where I don’t want her back. Hell, not even back in Nashville. Besides, her home was never here. Wherever she is, I hope she stays.”
“New York,” Joey tossed out, picking an apple from a fruit platter on the coffee table tray. She took a big bite. Nate frowned at her and she shrugged, as if it wasn’t a big deal. “She’s in New York,” she mumbled between chews.
“City?” Now why had he asked that? He’d deliberately not checked any of computer systems he had access to. He hadn’t wanted to know. Too tempting.
No, he wasn’t tempted. This was what he chose.
“No, the state.” Joey rolled her eyes and munched on another bite of apple. “Of course, the city, dumbass.”
Sophia was in New York City. That’s where she’d gone after she left the police station. To New York. “Why tell me? I don’t care if she’s on the moon.”
“Yeah right and I’m Suzy Homemaker. That’s why you’ve moped around the bureau and volunteered for every assignment for the past three months. Get a life,
Gray. Or better yet, get Sophia.”
Did no one listen? “I don’t want Sophia.”
“You just keep right on telling yourself that. Maybe by the time you’re decrepit and bald you’ll believe it but I doubt I will.”
“Josephina, you’re a pain in the ass.”
“So I’ve been told.” She waggled her brows and shot him a saucy smile. “Quite proud of that fact and don’t call me Josephina or I’ll have to kick your—”
“I get the picture. And you couldn’t if you tried.” Gray waved off her comment, met Nate’s gaze and stopped. “Wha-ut?”
“You disappoint me.”
“Fine. I’m a disappointment. What do you expect me to do? Fly to New York and beg her to take me back?”
“That would be a good place to start.”
“But I’ve already said—”
“We know,” they said in unison. “You don’t want her back.”
Gray grimaced. Was he really that obvious to everyone but himself? Pathetic.
“But if you did want her back, going to New York might be a good place to start. I mean, since that’s where she is.”
Nate took out a business card and flung it toward him. Instinctively, Gray caught the fancy card.
“Sophia’s address is on the back. When you arrive in New York, call the number in the left hand corner and a limo will take you to her.”
“I’m not going to New York.”
“Oh and it just so happens I know the owner of the building Sophia lives in.” Nate winked and Gray realized he must own the building. “Give the doorman your name. He’ll see to it you get into Sophia’s apartment. Whether or not you get into anything else is entirely up to you.”
“You’re crazy. Haven’t you heard a word I’ve said? I’m not going to New York. Not for Sophia. I do not want a woman in my life. Especially one who deceived and used me the way she did.”
“Deceived you?” Joey’s brow arched. “I’d say you were the one playing the most tricks, Erickson. You lied to her about just about everything. So what if she didn’t tell you everything she knew about the books? She was trying to help her aunt.”
“Her mother,” Nate corrected.
“Whatever.” Joey waved her apple. “My point is that he’s holding something against Sophia that’s really an admirable quality. She put her own happiness on the line in an attempt to help family. Seems pretty damn selfless to me.”
“You’re oversimplifying.”
“From where I sit, things are simple. You want her. Badly and don’t you dare give me that crap about not wanting her back because I’ve had enough of your bull.” She sank her teeth into the apple, plucked off another fleshy chunk and chewed it slowly while regarding him. “She did care about you. A lot. The question is, does she still want your sorry hind-end.” Her grin turned mischievous. “I certainly wised up where you’re concerned. Wonder if she has too?”
He’d had enough. Although he had no plans to use it, Gray tucked the card into his pocket.
“You two have fun and tend to your own twisted relationship. Quit trying to play matchmaker to two people who are so obviously wrong for each other.”
“Obviously.” Nate bit off a piece of Joey’s proffered fruit. “Uhm, that’s good.”
“Yeah, I think Adam muttered something like that to Eve right before they were tossed out of Paradise.”
Nate laughed. “Then I better enjoy Paradise while the getting is good.”
Gray left the penthouse but he wasn’t sure either one of them noticed. Totally sickening how they were all over each other. Commitment-free but awesome sex when together.
Some men had all the luck.
Gray slid his hand into his pocket and fondled the business card.
He wasn’t going to New York.
All the way down the elevator, he told himself he wasn’t going to New York. Was still telling himself that when he parked his truck in long-term parking at the Nashville airport.
* * * * *
What a day. Sophia punched her floor number as the apartment elevator doors slid shut. Thank God Nate had helped her find this apartment. Classy but affordable.
Friday evening. Another weekend alone. Why was it she’d come to New York again?
Oh yeah. To find herself.
She leaned back against the elevator wall and stared up at her reflection on the mirrored ceiling. She missed her parents. Atlanta. Nate. Genevieve. Elvis. Nashville. Gray.
No. She didn’t miss Gray. Wouldn’t allow herself to miss him. To do that would make her question why she left Nashville so abruptly. The morning after Strip or Treat. November first. The stupidest day of her life.
She hadn’t even said goodbye to him before she left the police station. No, she’d freed Genevieve, had a long heart to heart with her and then left Nashville the next morning.
The elevator dinged. Thirty-seventh floor. Home sweet home.
Home alone.
The weight of her briefcase dug into her shoulders, reminding her how her weekend would be spent. No matter. She preferred to work. As long as she stayed busy, she couldn’t dwell on Gray. At least, not too much.
She slipped her keycard into the slot and pushed the door open. A cup of coffee to perk her up, then she’d make her way through the stack of files in her briefcase.
That was another thing. She wasn’t enjoying her job as much as she’d believed she would. Why? This was what she’d wanted.
But nothing had any flavor. Not without Gray.
She dropped the briefcase next to the door and kicked off her shoes. Not so amazingly, a hot bath tempted more than coffee and work.
That’s when she noticed soft music played in the background. Gray’s strip song. Like an obsessed fool, she’d bought the CD and found herself listening to the music, the lyrics and remembering his practice strip sessions, the lovemaking sessions that followed.
But she was one hundred percent sure she hadn’t left the CD playing this morning when she’d gone to work.
Was she losing her mind?
Dear lord, she was.
Had to be.
’Cause Gray stood from her sofa.
Her eyes drank in how wonderful he looked. Like raindrops during a drought. Like manna from heaven during a famine.
Like Gray.
Not wanting to close her eyes in case the fantasy disappeared, her gaze traveled down his body. Over his navy knit dress shirt, over his casual khakis, down to leather loafers. She’d never seen him dressed like this but then a TBI agent probably had to dress a bit differently from a strip club bartender.
No one had ever looked better. Not ever. Nor would they.
“You missed my show,” her illusion reminded, sounding more real than any hallucination ever should. Three months had passed. He wouldn’t just show up now. If she spoke, would he vanish?
She swallowed. “I couldn’t watch.”
He didn’t disappear. Instead, his image moved closer. Not so close that she could smell his unique spicy scent but the fragrance drifted through her mind, overwhelmed her senses.
“Why?”
Would it hurt to tell an illusion the truth? “Because it hurt too much to watch.”
“Why?”
Darn pesky fantasy. She really was working way too hard. Maybe she should go for that long hot soak. Maybe if she relaxed her fantasy image would scrub her back.
“Why?” he repeated.
“Because I knew when I saw you come out on that stage that we’d never work through our differences, because you wouldn’t let us.”
“You were right. I stripped that night for a lot of different reasons. Most of which I didn’t realize at the time.” His eyes were sincere. And intense. And way too real for a hallucination.
Her heart skipped a beat. She wasn’t that tired.
Gray was here. In her apartment. How? Why? Could that mean? Hope surged. Oh God please.
“I once told you that I only did private strip performances. I didn’t lie. I m
ay have taken off my clothes on stage on Halloween night but I never stripped the protective layers from my heart.”
Sophia’s heart flip-flopped in her chest.
“I hope you can forgive me, Sophia. I’ve had a lot of time to think and I made a mistake that night. You were right. I was scared. I didn’t want to risk being hurt and instead I hurt us both. I should have trusted you.”
He sighed, pain etching across his face. “My sister, Leslie, overdosed. I suspected she was using but she lied to me and I ignored the signs because I didn’t want to believe. I’ve never forgiven myself. And I’ve realized that only with love can there be forgiveness and trust. Forgive me, Sophia. Trust me with your heart.”
Sophia blinked. Maybe she was that tired.
“I was wrong. I want to show you how sorry I am,” he continued, his hand closing over hers. Shivers ran down her spine and lodged somewhere deep inside. “How much I need you in my life.”
Without another word, he led her to her sofa. That’s when she noticed the furniture that had come with the apartment had been rearranged to clear a large open floor space.
“Sit down.”
Sophia sat.
As if on cue, the song started over and with his eyes locked with hers, Gray started dancing. Slow. Soft. Seductive.
What was he doing?
In her heart she knew.
He was stripping.
Completely and totally for her. He was baring his soul. His heart.
Tears welled in her eyes and she fought to hold them back. She wouldn’t cry.
With seductive finesse Gray tugged his shirt free from his khakis and pulled it over his head.
Sophia’s breath caught at the sight of his beautiful abs revealed. Her fingers itched to run over the strong planes, to trace over every sinew and refresh her memory with everything Gray. This was about much more than taking off his clothes, so she slid her shaky hands under her thighs and sat on them.
To the beat, Gray swayed back and forth, his hips keeping perfect time to the rhythm. Just as they had when he’d made love to her.
A tear trickled down her cheek. No, she wasn’t crying. No. No. No.
She swiped the moisture away and never wavered from Gray’s intense gaze. He yanked on his pants snap and eased his zipper down, building heat and anticipation within her.