“It wasn’t me.”
“Well, it was someone, because before they started, they went through all my rights and asked me if I wanted to call my parents, you know, because I had a right to have them there if I wanted to. I asked them what was going on. You can’t make up your mind what to do unless you know what’s going on. They said it was about Martin and Clark getting shot. They said they knew I’d bought drugs from Martin. They knew, and they weren’t bluffing either. They asked me again if I wanted someone with me while I talked to them. Come on, like I was going to have them call my dad and get him to leave work to listen to me getting grilled by the cops over some weed I got from Martin. You have any idea what my old man would do if he knew about that? And my mom—” He shook his head. “She’d tell my dad even if I begged her not to. So, no, the last thing I wanted was to have one of my parents there. They made me sign a paper that I had refused to have someone present. Cops, they’re always covering their asses.”
“What did you tell them?”
“They told me if I cooperated, they wouldn’t charge me with anything.”
“Charge you? What could they charge you with?”
“They knew I bought drugs from him. If I bought drugs from him, they could get me on possession.”
“They can’t do that unless they actually find weed on you.”
“They knew, Tegan. They knew about my birthday. Someone told them. They had a witness.”
“What exactly did you tell them, Tim?”
“I didn’t tell them. I confirmed what they already knew—I didn’t have any choice.”
“Confirmed what exactly?”
“Like I said, that when I wanted some weed to celebrate, I bought it from Martin.”
“Did you say it like that—that you bought drugs from him? Or did you say something else?”
“Like what?”
Like what? I started to feel sick. “How about that Martin wasn’t a drug dealer?”
“He sold them to me, Tegan. So technically—”
“Don’t give me technically. Did you tell them you wanted to buy weed because after a whole year of trying, you finally got that slut Miranda Taschereau to go out with you, but that she only agreed because you promised her you had some good weed—which you didn’t? That you had to beg Martin to give you a few joints, which he didn’t want to do, and that you finally offered to do what you should have done in the first place, which is to pay him for the stuff? You didn’t go to him because he was a drug dealer. You went to him because you knew he had some weed and you wanted to get your cheap little hands on some of it so you could score with Miranda, who, by the way, probably had an STD.”
His face was red. He stared stonily at me.
“You didn’t tell them that, did you?” I was practically screaming at him. I grabbed his arm.
“They sent for me. I didn’t volunteer to go down there. They told me they knew I’d bought weed from him. They said they wouldn’t make things hard for me if I played straight with them. They basically just wanted me to confirm something they already knew, which is that I had got drugs from him. Then they wanted to know if I knew where he got the drugs, who he got them from, which I didn’t. I told them I didn’t ask and that, even if I had, he probably wouldn’t have told me.”
“You made him sound like a dealer.”
“Look, he had the weed. A lot of people knew he had it. I didn’t make him buy it. I had nothing to do with it. If he had a drug problem—”
“He didn’t have a drug problem any more than you have a drug problem!”
“Well, he had some kind of problem because his drug connection shot him dead.”
“What? Did the cops say that to you?”
“It’s what they were getting at.”
“Did they say it?”
“I can read between the lines, Tegan. Martin and Clark get shot. Martin gets it first, so obviously he was the target. Clark gets it because he was in the wrong place at the wrong time. You’re still alive because whoever did it probably didn’t see you there in the back seat on account of those tinted windows Clark had—”
“Martin wasn’t a drug dealer.”
“Those cops aren’t stupid. They know what they’re doing. They know all kinds of stuff.”
“You’re making things worse, Tim. You’re dishonoring Martin. You’re making him out to be something he wasn’t. You’re blaming him for what happened.”
“I’m dishonoring him? You were there, Tegan. You saw what happened. You just told me so yourself. If you weren’t so chickenshit, you would help the cops catch whoever did it.”
“I didn’t see anything.”
“Right. You’re right there in the back seat, but you didn’t see a thing. You know what it was about, Tegan. That’s why you’re refusing to tell them anything.”
Refusing?
“Those guys who are into drugs, you don’t want to fool with them. You rat one of those guys out and you’re dead. And you have the balls to tell me that I’m dishonoring Martin?”
He jerked his arm free.
“Besides, I’m not the only person they talked to,” he said. “Steve talked to them too.”
“Steve? He gave Steve one joint. One.”
“Try telling the cops that. Those guys are hard-asses. Drugs are drugs. And the only person to blame for Martin getting into them is Martin himself.”
Did u c it?
It was Gina, texting me. Asking me the same thing she’d asked at the funeral. At first I was going to ignore her message. But I didn’t want to have to go through tomorrow the same way I’d gone through today, mostly alone except for lunchtime, when my bitchy sister deigned to eat with me. I knew that she only did it because she didn’t want Mom to yell at her. I wanted to be with someone who wanted to be with me. I wanted a friend. I wanted Gina, even if that meant I had to tell her a hundred times what I’d already told her the day of the funeral. So:
C what? I texted back.
The answer I got wasn’t the one I expected.
The site.
What site?
My cell phone rang.
“The site someone put up,” Gina said breathlessly. “About you. About what happened.”
“What site?” I asked as I launched myself across the room in the direction of my computer. She gave me the url, and I typed it in. The next thing I knew, I was staring at a photo of myself and, across my forehead, What Tegan Saw. I scanned the text and posts underneath. None of them were signed with real names, but they all said more or less the same thing—that I had seen Clark and Martin get shot but that I was refusing to cooperate with the police because I was afraid that the gang that had shot them would come after me and kill me.
“It’s gone viral,” Gina said. “I got a text from Sara. She got it from Britney, who got it from Dawn, who says she doesn’t even know who sent it to her. The whole school has seen it.”
It turned out that it had gone beyond that.
After I’d finished talking to Gina, the doorbell rang. I wanted to ignore it, but what if it was Mom? She often rang the bell when she got home late with her hands full of groceries or dry cleaning or work she had to get finished before the next day. When I opened the front door, I was almost blinded by a bright light—from a video camera.
“What do you think about the What Tegan Saw website?” a man asked me.
I held my hand up in front of my face to block the light.
“Whoever put it up doesn’t know what they’re talking about,” I said.
“But you did see Clark Carson and Martin Genovese get shot, didn’t you?” the man said.
“Yes. I mean, I saw what happened to them, but I didn’t—”
“The police say the shots came from the driver’s side. Is that right?”
“Yes, but—”
“Are you afraid that you’re going to be next? Is that why you’re refusing to cooperate with the police?”
“No, I—”
“You’re not afraid
that the killer will come after you, the only witness to the shooting?”
“I didn’t see what happened.”
“You just said you did.”
“I saw them get shot, but that’s all I saw. I didn’t see who did it.”
I slammed the door shut.
Did u c it?
Gina again, late that night.
C what?
News.
Then someone hammered on my bedroom door.
“Teeg, you up?”
It was Kelly.
“I’m on the phone!” I yelled through the closed door.
“Yeah, well, you’re going to want to hear this. You were just on the news.”
I sent a quick text to Gina—Talk later—and called at Kelly to come in.
“What about the news?” I asked her.
“You were on it. So was Mr. Carson. And the cops. They said Mr. Genovese wasn’t available for comment.”
“What did they say?”
“They showed a website about you. Then they showed a clip of you saying that you saw what happened to Martin and Clark. Then a clip of you saying that you didn’t see what happened. Then they showed this cop saying that he hoped if you knew anything or saw anything, you would come forward so that they could catch whoever did it.”
“What about Mr. Carson? What did he say?”
“Pretty much the same thing as the cops—that you should do the right thing and cooperate with the police. He said that he would forgive you and Martin for what happened if you would just tell the cops everything you know so that the person who killed Clark could be brought to justice.”
“He said he’d forgive me and Martin?” As if we’d done something wrong. As if Clark was the only person who had been shot—or the only person who mattered. “I told that reporter that I didn’t see who did it. I told everyone that. I feel like I could scream it from the rooftops and it wouldn’t make any difference. No one believes me.”
“I believe you,” Kelly said.
“You do?”
I searched her face, but I couldn’t tell if she was telling the truth or was just saying what she thought I wanted to hear.
She sank down onto my bed.
“I guess it must have been awful for you—”
“You guess?”
“You know what I mean, Teeg. And you know how people are. You’re just going to have to tough it out. I don’t know what else you can do.”
I felt my stomach twisting up. I wanted to yell at her and everybody else. But she was right. People believed what they wanted to believe, and there was no way I could think of to make them change their minds.
Right after Kelly left my room, I called Gina.
“Are you okay?” she asked. She sounded worried.
“Yeah. I guess.”
“You want me to swing by tomorrow morning and pick you up? You know, so you don’t have to arrive at school alone?”
I wished I could have said, Thanks, but I’ll be fine. But I wasn’t at all sure I would be. It had been bad enough when Anna Genovese had come at me, screaming accusations so that everyone in the whole school could hear. But this website was something else. A whole lot more people besides Anna were talking about me, and they were all saying the same thing: that Martin was shot over drugs and that I was too afraid to come forward and tell the police who had done it.
There was no angry mob outside the school. Gina’s sigh of relief was audible.
“Some of the comments on the site were pretty awful,” she said. “And there were a lot more of them, Teeg, not all by kids from our school. I was a little afraid…”
We made our way up the front walk and into the school. Everything looked normal.
“You want me to come to your locker with you?” Gina said.
“No, I’ll be all right. I’ll see you in math, okay?”
FIFTEEN
Kelly
INT.—HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY—DAY
KELLY is standing at her friend Lacey’s locker when everyone around her falls silent. She looks way down the hall and sees TEGAN approach her locker. She notices that all the kids who, moments before, had been taking things out of their lockers or putting things inside are motionless now, but that none of them are looking at Tegan. She watches as TEGAN seems to notice too. TEGAN frowns, grabs her lock and starts dialing the combination. The silence continues as TEGAN takes out some textbooks and binders, closes the locker and leaves.
KELLY
What’s going on?
LACEY bangs her locker shut. She is oblivious to what has just happened.
LACEY
Huh?
KELLY
It was like everyone turned to stone when Tegan was at her locker.
LACEY, baffled, merely shrugs.
CUT TO:
INT.—HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY—DAY
A bell rings, classroom doors open up and down the hall, and students pour out, moving quickly from one class to the next. KELLY’s face appears through the crowd. She is looking for someone. She zeros in on her target and muscles her way through a sea of kids who are going the opposite direction. She reaches out to grab someone. TEGAN spins around, a scared and startled look on her face.
KELLY
Are you okay?
TEGAN turns away, and KELLY follows her gaze. Down the hall, ANNA is saying something to Gina. GINA glances in Tegan’s direction. ANNA says something else and then slips away into the crowd. GINA glances around and sees many eyes looking at her. She slowly makes her way toward Tegan and Kelly.
KELLY (CONT’D)
What was that about? What did Anna say to you?
GINA
You’re invisible.
KELLY
What are you talking about? What’s going on, Gina?
GINA
That’s what she said to me. She said, “Tell your friend Tegan that she’s invisible.” TEGAN moans. She sags a little. KELLY looks at her in dismay.
TEGAN
Nobody looked at me in home form. Nobody except Mrs. Persaud. No one has looked at me all morning. No one has talked to me either. It’s like I don’t exist.
GINA
Anna said it’s going to stay that way until you do the right thing and tell the police everything you saw.
TEGAN
(close to tears)
I told her—I told everyone—I don’t know anything.
KELLY
(to the camera)
This is like kindergarten all over again. God, I hate school.
GINA is clearly upset. She looks like she is bursting to say more, but something is holding her back. TEGAN notices.
TEGAN
What? Did she say something else?
GINA
(shaking her head)
It’s just that…a lot of people are with her, Teeg. I heard them talking.
KELLY
So? They’re a bunch of idiots.
GINA looks only at Tegan.
GINA
Jamie is with her.
KELLY
Then Jamie’s a moron.
GINA
(angry)
He is not!
TEGAN
She didn’t mean it, Gina.
KELLY
I did so. Anyone who—
TEGAN reaches out and silences Kelly with a touch on her arm.
TEGAN
(softly)
Gina and Jamie are, well, they’re kind of getting together, you know?
TEGAN takes in the sad but hopeful look on Kelly’s face.
KELLY
(to the camera)
As if I didn’t know. Jeez, Gina has had it bad for Jamie Dingwall practically since second grade. She’s always staring moodily at him from across classrooms and down hallways. She keeps coming up with these lame excuses to talk to him. Okay, so maybe not so lame. Just last month, he actually started talking back. He even asked her out a couple of times, and Gina’s over the moon. Still, if some guy I was interested in acted so childishly toward my b
est friend—
GINA
(to Tegan)
He said there’s no way a person could be sitting where you were sitting and not see anything. Anna said that they’ve all decided—anyone who hangs with you is going to be invisible too.
KELLY
This just keeps getting more ridiculous. Anna’s full of it, Gina.
TEGAN
There’s no way Jamie’s going to ignore you, Gina. He likes you. You told me that things were really clicking with you two.
GINA doesn’t look so sure.
TEGAN (CONT’D)
Have you talked to him?
GINA shakes her head.
TEGAN (CONT’D)
Talk to him, Gina. You’ll see.
KELLY
Yeah, talk to him, Gina. And if he still acts like a moron, dump him.
The bell rings. GINA hesitates and then scurries away. KELLY glances at Tegan.
KELLY
You okay?
TEGAN looks completely demoralized, but she manages a smile before they go their separate ways to their classes.
SIXTEEN
Tegan
Gina wasn’t at her locker after school, even though we had agreed to meet there so we could walk home together. I waited around in case she’d got caught up in something at the end of her last class. Kids came to their lockers and left again. No one looked at me. No one spoke to me. I pretended I didn’t see them either. But I did. I saw them and I wished none of this was happening. I wished Martin and Clark were still around. Kids would be looking at me then for sure. Clark and Martin were the ones everyone wanted to be with.
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