by Tif Marcelo
Was she crying? Pearl swiped her cheeks, then hopped to her sister’s side, and yet the heaviness in her heart remained. “What happened?”
“Jane didn’t feel good at the playground. She was dizzy and unsteady, short of breath. She passed out. Marco called an ambulance and used her thumb to get into her phone before she was taken here, to text me.” Mari’s voice shook. “After they stabilized her in the ER, they transferred her up to the internal medicine unit.”
Pearl clasped her sister’s hand, gripped it tightly.
“It was an asthma attack.”
Pearl shook her head. “I don’t get it. She doesn’t have asthma.”
Mari’s eyebrows turned downward. She pressed the button for the elevator. “They have to do tests, but her oxygen was low when she came in.” She swallowed. “Her oxygen was low. How did I not notice it? She’s been coughing for weeks. The doctor said her bronchitis on top of her allergies might have triggered it.”
“God,” Pearl whispered. The door opened and they stepped in. She clicked on to her texts, and sent a group text to Kayla and Trenton: Jane at Alexandria General Hospital. I know you’re both mad at me, but I thought you should know.
“We were too damn worried about stupid things,” Mari said.
“I know.” Pearl repeated. “I know.”
The internal medicine floor was full of the bustle of medical personnel and the chatter of televisions from patient rooms. Pearl followed Mari to the right-most room on the west wing, her Toms squeaking against the white linoleum floor.
The room was tiny, just big enough for the hospital bed and a chair on its left side. Jane’s skin was pale, in concert with the faded blue hospital gown. A skinny plastic tube below her nose ran to a spout on the wall—her oxygen.
Pearl brushed past Mari to get to her sister, tears coming once again. Overwhelmed by the need to calm her nerves, to feel that her sister was real, she threw her arms around her.
Jane’s voice was hoarse. “I’m okay, Pearl.”
“No, you’re not, obviously.”
A hovering shadow to her right moved. Marco was at the foot of the bed, silent. She hugged him, too. “Thank you for making sure she was safe.”
“I wish I could have done more,” he whispered, voice croaking, and he patted her on the back. He straightened, though his expression was wary and unsure. “I should . . . I should go now that you both are here. I’m due at the train station soon.”
“I’ll call you. I promise.” Jane reached up and beckoned him. “I don’t know what I would have done without you.”
He leaned down and kissed Jane on the cheek. “Give the kid a high-five for me, okay?”
“Of course.”
Pearl sat on the pink cushiony chair to make herself as small as possible during their exchange. She noticed Mari back up toward the window and look away. Marco had taken on a different role to her now. He’d saved her sister.
Once Marco left, Pearl wrapped her hand around Jane’s. “Ate Mari caught me up. Have the doctors said more?”
“Did someone say doctor?” A man in a gray oxford shirt and black slacks came in. A smile spanned his entire face, a contrast to every sad face in the room. “How’s our patient doing?”
Pearl squinted, pursed her lips. Examined his full dark hair, his posture and muscled build. “Wait. You look really familiar to me.”
“Number Fourteen,” Jane said.
“Number Fourteen?” Pearl repeated and slowly, the memory came back to her. Of him among a crowd. Of introducing herself as she sat down at a small circular table. Of a silver cuff bracelet around his left wrist. The speed-dating event. “Ohhh. Fourteen.”
“That would be me. Dr. Gabe Mori. I had hoped this wouldn’t be the way we’d see each other again, Jane, but here we are. Then again, I’m glad to be here to help as the pulmonologist on call. Can I answer any of your questions?”
“Me first,” Mari said. “Why asthma and why now?”
“Numerous things could have triggered it. Environment, predisposition.” Dr. Mori’s eyes were sympathetic. “It was the perfect storm, I think. First her allergies, then bronchitis, the sudden turn of the weather, and the high tree-allergen counts. I can’t really say why now.”
Pearl shook her head, remembering the pharmaceutical commercials that frequently ran during her Hulu shows. “There are medicines to treat it, right?”
He nodded. “It will take a bit of finding out what will work best, but yes, completely treatable. The asthma attack was serious, though. She had a breathing treatment at the emergency room, and she’ll be on oxygen at least overnight.”
Pearl glanced at her sister. “Have I ever said that you are so high-maintenance?”
They all laughed, grateful for the joke. Even Dr. Mori.
Jane squeezed her hand. “Not gonna lie, I was a little scared.” Her gaze jumped to the other people in the room, her eyes filling with tears. “All I could think of was Pio, and what if?”
Mari jumped in. “You never have to worry about what if.”
Pearl interceded, grabbing Jane’s knee. She understood her worry—she’d felt so alone the last month. The family hadn’t been this splintered in a decade. But no more; Pearl wouldn’t let it go on like this. She squeezed her sister’s hand. “Never.”
“Wait. I have another question.” Mari addressed Dr. Mori, now peering through narrowed slits. “You were Number Fourteen in what?”
twenty-six
Mood: “We Are Family” by Sister Sledge
It had taken doctors two nights to wean Jane off the oxygen and to give the final diagnosis of adult-onset asthma. And finally, after tests, a chest X-ray, twice-daily breathing treatments, follow-up examinations with Dr. Gabe Mori, and a comprehensive meeting with the patient educator, she was cleared to come home.
It would be up to Jane to take charge of her health. But it would be up to the sisters to pull together to take care of Jane.
Mari’s phone buzzed on the hospital table as she packed up Jane’s things. Jane was in the bathroom, changing back into fresh clothes. Pearl was in arm’s reach of the phone and she peeked at the screen. “It’s Reid. I’ll answer and tell him you’re unavailable.”
Mari raised a hand to protest. Her meeting with Hazel the other day felt like a million years ago, and while she didn’t have regrets about speaking up, there were sure to be repercussions. Mari hadn’t wanted to think of them until they got Jane back home.
But Pearl had already pressed the green button and placed it on speaker. “Hello?”
“Hazel told me.” Reid’s voice was somber as it echoed into the room. “I don’t know what to believe. She’s denying any conflict with Brad and insists she is absolutely safe. And I don’t know if it’s my place to do anything about it at all.”
“Reid—” Pearl interrupted. “This isn’t—”
“I’m sorry, Marisol. My sister doesn’t want me to even speak to you.” He sighed. “I’m not in the habit of doing something just because my sister asked me to, but I feel like I need to support her.”
“I don’t regret what I shared.” Mari’s voice broke as she spoke up. “And I understand. I wouldn’t want you to feel like you’re even choosing. You have to take care of your family first.”
Silence permeated the room. Reid cleared his throat. “Okay.”
Mari choked her reply. “Okay.”
Pearl pressed the red button to hang up, then enveloped Mari in a tight embrace. “I’m sorry.”
“Eh.” Mari feigned indifference.
Pearl stepped back. “You don’t have to do that. You don’t have to act like you don’t care.”
“It was stupid of me to think that there could’ve been something else. Nothing can come from being a hypocrite.”
“Yeah, well, I didn’t mean to call you that.” Glancing up at Mari, she corrected herself, grinning. “Okay I meant it at the time. But I was also rooting for you and him. I know it takes a lot to cut through to your black heart.”
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“Ha.” Mari perched on the bed and took a deep breath. “But worse is that I think I’ve lost our top.” She explained what had happened with Hazel, and Pearl listened intently.
“You did the absolute right thing.”
“I know I did. I only wish it didn’t have all these consequences.” Mari thought of the money, the lack of clients, the long winter months. How she’d have to buy Pearl out and then lose her talent on top of the cost. “I really made a mess of things.”
“No, you didn’t, I did.”
“Stop.” Mari halted her by placing a hand on her wrist. “I have something to tell you.”
“Yes?”
“I never should have tried to hold you back. You were right. It was my own insecurity that got in the way. I wanted everything to run perfectly to show you all—” Mari stumbled, regrouped her thoughts and tried again. “I didn’t want to fail anyone. I don’t want to be that Mari from a long time ago. I convinced myself that if I could control the transition to our ownership perfectly, I would make up for everything you had gone through.”
“That was never your fault. It was solely Saul’s and no one else’s.” Pearl shook her head. “Look, I wanted my space.” She paused. “I felt like I was suffocating. All my life, I felt like I was watched. Like I couldn’t make a mistake. I convinced myself that it was my way or no way at all. The control thing? It’s not just you. It’s a de la Rosa trait.”
Beats of silence passed, and in the pause, Mari couldn’t take it anymore. The last two days of worry was the final piece of perspective she needed. Life was too short. She declared, “I don’t want you to go.”
At the same time Pearl said, “I don’t want to leave.”
“What?” they said to each other. “Jinx.” They both laughed. “Jinx again.”
Both exploded in a fit of giggles, and as they settled, Mari said, “I’m sorry, Pearl. I know your talent. I know what you’re worth.”
“Thank you.” She patted the tears on her face with the back of her hand. “I needed that. But how do we do this, Ate Mari? How do we make it so that we can work together? You and I know about the honeymoon period—”
“It doesn’t last.” Mari finished the sentence. “I don’t know what we need to do. So let’s ask for help. Let’s get some advice. Restructure, set some real objective ground rules. Something. Okay? But I can’t be in charge of social media, ever.”
Pearl laughed. “Okay.”
Mari leaned into her sister and held her tight. A crisis might have brought them here, but in this case, she’d take it. She’d take it to learn the biggest lesson of her life.
The past might’ve shadowed the future, but it didn’t mean she couldn’t shine a light on it. It didn’t mean that she couldn’t gain her footing. And it didn’t mean that others couldn’t help steer her in the right direction.
“Thank the freaking heavens!” a voice said behind them. Jane was at the bathroom’s doorway now, in a T-shirt and sweats, face wide with relief. “This made my life. Can we please stay together forever?”
Mari looked at Pearl and answered with words that would be forever and binding. “I will.”
Pearl nodded without hesitation. “I will.”
To Mari’s chagrin, Jane did not follow doctor’s orders. The day after her discharge, she had insisted on taking Pio to an afterschool playdate, which deposited her right back into bed.
Mari now hovered over her while Gabe, apparently now the de la Rosa doctor on call, listened to her heart and lungs.
“My asthma attack was days ago,” Jane said. “I don’t get why I’m not better. I’m using my inhalers.”
“Yes, but it was an asthma attack with a side of bronchitis.” He slung the stethoscope around his neck. “Which means you have to listen to your body and take it easy. Promise me you’ll stay in bed, just for the rest of today. Start again tomorrow, and slowly. A walk around the block, not an event surrounded by elementary schoolers.”
She pouted. “Fine.”
Pearl snorted from the doorway. “And don’t even think you can sneak around. One of us will be watching. You can come with me to yoga . . . when you’re well.” She grinned. “I did all kinds of research last night. Yoga is beneficial to people with asthma.”
“You guys are ganging up on me,” Jane said.
“And that’s my cue.” Gabe stood. “I’ll check on you tomorrow, okay?”
“I’ll walk you out,” Pearl said, but before she exited the bedroom, she shot Mari a look of collusion.
And Mari agreed—the man was definitely interested in their sister. Cupid had struck again.
As soon as the two were out of the room, Mari’s eyes widened at Jane. “House calls, huh?”
“They’re unofficial,” Jane said. “But sweet. Don’t you think?”
A smile crept onto Mari’s face. “I do. And then there’s Marco, who hasn’t stopped calling. I think you have yourself a love triangle.”
Jane’s face twisted into confusion. “Yeah, it’s all levels of complicated. What a week.”
Pearl burst into the bedroom. “What did I miss?” She leapt to the foot of the bed.
Mari straightened the comforter Pearl had wrinkled. “Jane was talking about her love triangle.”
“I don’t want to talk about that anymore. I want to talk about you, Ate Mari,” Jane said. “Tell me about Reid. Did you call him back?”
Mari shook her head. “It’s taking everything out of me not to, but he’s got to figure things out with Hazel. I’m still a little sad, though. He gave me a glimpse of possibility.”
Pearl’s eyes widened. “Of love?”
“Yes? I don’t know. What we had was respectful. Good. Different.” She sniffed. “But I should be grateful it all ended when it did, right? Better now, early in the relationship. Before I got in too deep.”
“I’m sorry, but I object.” Jane pushed Mari’s flyaway hairs back. “Seriously. I don’t think you should give up. If the relationship means what it looks like it does to me. This expression on your face—we don’t see it often.”
“She’s right,” Pearl added. “You almost look . . . friendly.”
Mari cackled, grateful to laugh freely, to be seen and called out for exactly who she was. No one could do that but her sisters. “Anyway, I don’t want to talk about it anymore. How about you, P? Have you spoken to Kayla?”
“She won’t return my calls.” Pearl’s lip twitched downward. “And Trenton—the guy said he loved me, and I totally froze. So yeah, it’s been radio silence from him, too.”
“Oh no.” Jane frowned.
“I thought I wasn’t sure if I was ready for love. It’s taken my whole life to get here and I’m just getting to know myself. Now, after thinking it all through, I wonder if there will ever be a perfect time.”
Jane answered quietly, though firmly. “No, there isn’t. When I got pregnant with Pio, when I gave birth, when I realized I had to raise him as a single mom, and at every junction, I questioned myself. I doubted my ability, and I was scared to death. I’m still scared sometimes knowing I have to guide this child to be who he’s meant to be. But guess what? When there’s love, you make it work. And when there’s family, the unknown isn’t as frightening. Speaking of.” She blinked at the two of them and cleared her throat. “I have something to tell you both. It’s serious. I don’t know if Mommy and Daddy are going to support me, but I hope you both will. I’ve decided to give Marco a chance to get to know his son. A true chance.” She raised a hand. “I don’t want to hear your arguments against it. This is just an FYI. I was hospitalized. I could have . . . died. All I thought of while I was lying there out of breath was that I couldn’t die. I didn’t want the only parent Pio knew to leave him. Pio wants a father, and his father wants his son.”
Mari bit at her cheek and nodded. “I don’t judge you, Jane. So much that I’m not going to add a caveat to that statement with a threat against the man, but if he hurts Pio’s feelings, so help me God.”
“Same,” Pearl answered.
Jane smiled. “I don’t expect any less.”
“Mama. You’re awake!”
They turned to the voice at the doorway. Pio, still with his shoes on, bounded in, the heat radiating from him. He held a brown bag with Barrio Fiesta’s logo.
“Hey, bud!” Jane opened her arms. “I missed you. What have you got for me?”
Pio handed Jane the bag.
“Puto.” She pulled out a tiny steamed cake and bit her bottom lip. “Oh my heavens.”
“I told you to wait at the door!” Amelia stomped in, out of breath. Strands of hair from her high bun framed her face. “Goodness. Your child can sprint, Jane.” She presented a handful of napkins.
“God, if I knew I’d get all of your undivided attention, I would have gotten sick sooner.” Jane accepted a napkin and passed the bag around.
“Better watch out, you might get what you wish for,” Pearl said. “I have a feeling you will be getting a ton of attention from the two points of that triangle.”
“Yeah, we’re going to have to take sides,” Mari said.
Pearl rubbed her cheek mischievously. “We can even start a hashtag. Team Fourteen—”
“Or Team Beefcake.” Amelia waggled her eyebrows. Mari and her sisters laughed, and as if the act of laughing alone released the tension all of them had been holding the last month, their cackles rose to a full crescendo before they ebbed to the rolling wave of giggles.
Pio shook his head. “I don’t get it.”
“It’s us being us, iho,” his mother said, ruffling the top of his head.
It was them being them. As it should have always been.
part six
The Rose is without an explanation; She blooms, because She blooms.
—Angelus Silesius
twenty-seven
Mood: “Let’s Stay Together” by Al Green
Pearl coughed at the increasing smoke in her flat. She ran to her windows and opened them fully, bringing in the warm air and the current thunderstorm. Grabbing a dish towel from her kitchen counter, with concentrated effort, she flapped the air under the smoke detector, praying that it wouldn’t go off. She didn’t have time for this, not with what she had planned for this evening.