She decided to distract herself by looking through some posts on Forty and Free, the online group for singles that Cassie had introduced her to. Maybe there were other members on the ship? Or the island? The site was global, so it was quite possible. She couldn’t pin all of her hopes on one mysterious man.
Thomas liked to hold things back. Was that because he had something to hide or because he didn’t like to share personal information so quickly? Maybe she’d spooked him by being so open about Emma and Lucas. But then, that’s what she wanted. She wanted to be with someone who was honest and to the point, not evasive.
Lucas had spent a lot of time at first dodging her questions about why he couldn’t trust and why she wasn’t important enough for him to give his full attention to. There was no way Natasha would wander down that path again when there were far too many options out there. However, as she skimmed through those particular options on the message board, she didn’t find anyone of interest to her.
Many of the men in their forties weren’t interested in settling down. Some in their thirties were, but the fact that she had a child to bring into the mix eliminated many.
She didn’t want just anyone, anyway. She wanted him—the man she’d been waiting for her entire life. There wasn’t much chance that he could be Thomas. How could she be so lucky?
But Thomas had surprised her with his willingness to be intimate despite his relatively cool exterior. If only he didn’t hold back so much, she might suspect that there could be more between them.
When she reached the main deck she found him easily despite the throngs of people. His smile, the way he looked at her with a mixture of relief and anticipation, confirmed that he’d been waiting for her.
As their conversation picked up, she noted the way he shut her out again. Maybe she expected too much too soon. She could let him have his distance if it was what he wanted. But time was limited on a cruise, and the thought of not getting to know Thomas better inspired dread.
He leaned a little closer to her. “Now you’ve gone somewhere far from me.”
Her gaze shifted back to his. “You could tell?”
“I’m not going to lie, Natasha, it’s been months since I’ve even flirted with a woman. I’m rusty and clumsy, but I know what I feel.”
“What’s that?” She stroked her fingertip along the back of his hand.
“That you’re one of those once-in-a-lifetime people.”
“Interesting.” She grinned. “Care to elaborate?”
He shrugged and leaned back some. “It feels like if I blink, I might miss you—like the bright burning of a star just before it disappears.”
Her heart softened at his words. Maybe they were merely flirtation, or maybe he meant them, but either way he’d revealed some truth to her.
“Thomas, I’m not going to disappear.” She searched his eyes even as he started to look away. “I’m here with you now, like you said, in paradise. We can just enjoy ourselves together.”
“Good.” He tilted his head toward the dock. “Because we’ve officially arrived.”
Natasha heard the shift in his voice. It was his way of avoiding an emotional topic. It frustrated her, but she reined in her reaction. He wasn’t a timid man, that was for sure. If he wasn’t ready, there was good reason, and she could accept that for the time being.
Still, as they got swept up in the crowd of people disembarking, his hand snug around hers gave her an odd sense of reassurance. Was she just so desperate not to be lonely that she’d wrapped herself up in a man who wasn’t truly available? Even if he was right there with her, in the middle of paradise, was he truly open to the idea of a relationship, or had things just developed so swiftly that he hadn’t discovered a way out?
It was too late to think it through. Their journey together had a beginning, and she would have to go with it until it reached its natural end.
Chapter 8
As soon as they set foot on the island, Thomas tightened his grip on Natasha’s hand. He left her ample opportunity to pull away, but as he hoped, she didn’t. They walked at an even pace toward the group of guides that gathered around most of the cruise passengers.
When they were just about to the group, Natasha tugged him in a different direction.
“What are you doing? We’ll miss the tour.” He started to pull back.
“Oh, we’re not going on that tour.” She waved her hand. “Are you in the mood to waste a couple hundred dollars?”
“A couple hundred dollars?” His eyes widened. “I thought the tours were included.”
“Some are, some aren’t. But it doesn’t matter. You don’t have to pay for a tour. I can take you on one.” She smiled.
He hesitated. “How can you be so sure?”
“Thomas?” She turned back to face him. “I’ve explored jungles, climbed mountains, and even lived without Wi-Fi.” She winked. “Trust me, I can handle this.”
He smiled a little but his heart wasn’t in it. She wanted an awful lot from him in a short amount of time. How did he know she wouldn’t lead him right into some crazy experience that would be less fun than it was trouble?
“I don’t know. What if we miss the boat?”
“Oh, poor us, stuck on a tropical island forever.” She sighed.
He gritted his teeth. “I’m serious. It makes more sense to stay with the tour.”
“Alright, suit yourself, but you won’t ever find the secret beach with them.”
“Secret beach?” He met her eyes.
“Oh, now you’re interested, hm?” She raised an eyebrow. “So there is an adventurous man in there, he just has to be tempted out of you?”
He stared into her gaze and kept his tone even. “You certainly are good at tempting.”
“Are you accusing me of luring you, Thomas?”
“I’m accusing myself of falling for it.” He laughed.
“I’ll be happy to escort you around the island if you want to join me, but it’s okay with me if you want to stick to the group. It’s not as if you know me well enough to take a risk.”
Her words hit him one by one. No, he’d never been accused of being a risk taker. In fact, more often than not, he was the one that people turned to when they needed a reliable, predictable person. But that wasn’t really him. It was who he’d trained himself to be. Deep down, he wanted to jump off cliffs and scream at the tops of his lungs, just for the sake of screaming.
“I’m willing.” He took her hand again, this time with a more insistent grasp.
“Then the adventure begins.” Natasha drew him down a path that led through a group of trees. It grew thicker the further down they walked.
“Tell me about the jungles that you’ve explored.”
“Well, I did have a guide there. But it was one of the most eye-opening experiences of my life.”
“Why is that?” He matched his pace to hers so that he walked beside her, despite the density of the brush around them.
“To see entire civilizations that have never even considered money, wealth, and fame. These people, by the standards of an American mind, would be destitute, and yet they lived a rich full life.”
“With nothing?”
“I mean nothing. Clothing optional, if you catch my drift.” She cast a look in his direction. “It’s a little daunting to realize just how much of our lives are dedicated to the worship of things that truly don’t matter, at least not to a tribe in the middle of a jungle.”
“That would be a very liberating experience, I think.”
“In some ways.” She drew him through a final patch of trees. “In others, it’s a bit embarrassing. Because even witnessing that sense of freedom, I am too caught up in the material world to let it go and embrace that kind of life. I want my soft bed and the roof over my head.”
“I bet.” He eyed her for a moment as he envisioned the luxury she was likely surrounded in. “It’s not easy to let go of comfort once you’ve grown used to it.”
“No, it’s not.
I think there is one scary thing about the way people in that tribe I encountered live, though.”
“What’s that?”
“All they know is what’s around them. As free as they are, their minds are limited to what they’ve been exposed to. In their entire lives they would never have the chance to open their eyes and see something like this.” She pulled back a large palm frond to reveal crystal blue water against pure white sand.
The beach itself was narrow, and for its beauty, should have been packed with tourists. Instead, they were the only ones there.
“Have you been here before? How did you find this place?” He gazed in shock at the beauty that spread out before him.
“I have been to this island before but this is a new stretch of beach. The trick is to look for a path into the woods, one that isn’t marked off by the tour guides. If it’s not labeled then it’s likely only used by the locals, and that means that it’s pretty much a private beach.”
“Okay, it’s official, I’m impressed.” He stepped out beside her.
“Mission accomplished.” She grinned and rubbed a hand along the curve of his shoulder. “So are you going to join me for a swim?”
He stared out at the water and for just a second considered what might be lurking there. But as Natasha began to shed the loose blouse she wore over her bathing suit, it wouldn’t have mattered if the water had been filled with electric eels. He would have followed her anywhere. He recognized it as one of those moments where he could make an impression or he could fade into the background.
He tugged off his t-shirt and tossed it in the sand. He emptied his pockets. Then he ran toward her.
“What are you doing?” She laughed and backed up a few steps.
He didn’t offer an explanation. Instead, he grabbed her around the waist and swept one arm under her knees. Then he charged toward the water.
She squealed with laughter as her arms wrapped around his neck. It was one of those moments when it didn’t matter what their pasts held, or what was age appropriate. It was pure fun as the water splashed up around them.
Chapter 9
When Thomas scooped her up with such ease into his arms, a few thoughts flew through Natasha’s mind. She considered leaping right back out of his arms, but the scent of his skin and the warmth of his touch changed her mind. She wanted to believe that the way he gazed at her was something more than just the glow of a vacation tryst, but still she barely knew anything about him.
He waded out into the calm water with her still in his arms until it encircled both of their waists.
“Thank you for bringing me here.” He eased his grasp on her.
She wriggled her way free and stretched out on her back to float.
“Thank you for keeping me company.” The sun was a little too bright for her to stare up into the sky. She shifted her gaze back to him.
“I don’t think you have to thank anyone for that. I’m sure there are people waiting in line to take that position.” He smiled and sank down some in the water.
“I don’t know about people waiting in line, but I’m glad that it’s you I’m here with. Maybe now that we’re alone, you could tell me a little bit about yourself.”
“What do you want to know?” He shifted his attention to the horizon.
“You have many children without having any. You have ex-wives with no stories of heartbreak. Tell me the truth, Thomas, are you a real boy?” She met his eyes and gauged whether he was offended or amused by her joke.
“I am.” He chuckled. “A real man, anyway.” He caught her around the waist and drew her close to him.
She shifted in his grasp so that her head rested back against his shoulder. It surprised her how comfortable she was with his arms wrapped around her. It was so soon to feel so connected, and yet she couldn’t deny it. In all the years that Lucas had set alarms and hired bodyguards, he’d never been able to accomplish what Thomas did with just the curve of his arm around her waist. She felt safe with him.
“And still, you’ve yet to answer a single question.”
He sighed and released her again. “The children I mentioned are my students.”
“Oh? You’re a teacher?”
“Yes. I’m part of a special program designed for at-risk children. The only reason I’m on this cruise is because I won an award for raising the test levels of all my classes. So there it is. I’m just a teacher. I don’t belong in a place like this.”
“Why not?” She stared into his eyes. “There’s no such thing as just a teacher. I can’t think of a more honorable profession. And the fact that you teach children who might otherwise be overlooked, and do it so well that you received an award? Why would you not want to share that with me?”
He cleared his throat. “It just didn’t seem like something you’d be interested in.”
“I like you, Thomas.” She brushed a few strands of her dark hair away from her cheeks as the salt water clung to her skin. “I’ve not hidden that at all. But that’s a very harsh thing to say.”
“I didn’t mean it in a harsh way.” He narrowed his eyes. “Why is it harsh?”
“You haven’t taken the time to really get to know me, but I’m guessing you’ve made some assumptions about me. I haven’t made those same assumptions about you. I just thought you were someone that I’d like to get to know.”
“And you still think that?”
“I do. I just wonder if you feel the same way. It’s true, I’m not the most fascinating person, but how could you know that after only a few hours together?”
“Natasha, that’s crazy. There isn’t a single thing about you that doesn’t fascinate me. I may be able to reach the hearts and minds of kids, but I have a much harder time with adults. Everything is so much more complicated.”
“It doesn’t have to be.” She held his gaze as her heart skipped a beat. They only had a few days on the cruise together. Why not go for it before the chance passed? Everything about Thomas left her curious, if not a little on edge. She didn’t want to let him get bored, or interested in someone else. She wanted his attention. She suddenly craved it.
“I don’t see how it can’t be—”
She curled her palms along his shoulders, leaned up with some assistance from the buoyancy of the water, and pressed her lips to his. It was something she’d wanted to do since the night before when they’d shared the dance. It was something she didn’t want to wait any longer to experience.
His arms wound around her waist and held her close against him as he returned the kiss. In the middle of paradise with only the clouds in the sky to witness it, Natasha took a chance that she never dared to before. She demanded his attention, instead of falling back into the habit of begging for it.
A moment later the kiss broke and her heart raced while she waited to see what his reaction might be.
Chapter 10
Paradise might have been all around him, but when her lips touched his, Thomas forgot all about it. All that mattered was Natasha and the way her body pressed up against his.
His heart pounded against his chest. Pull her closer or let her go? With the heat that carried through him, he knew that things could get out of control very quickly. But that wasn’t what he wanted. He broke the kiss, nearly breathless, and stared into her eyes.
“What was that for?” Her eyes widened. His own words echoed through his mind. Not exactly a smooth response. “Poor choice of words. You caught me off guard.”
“I promised myself I’d be bold on this trip.” She bit into her bottom lip. It plumped around her teeth and reminded him of the kiss they’d just shared. “I’m sorry if I was too forward. You mentioned earlier that you’re a little rusty at this. I’m more than a little rusty. I’m afraid I have no idea what I’m doing here, but the last thing I wanted was to make you uncomfortable—”
He barely heard her speak. All he saw was the flutter of her lips and the nervous smile that danced around her mouth. As she rambled on he pulled her close for anoth
er kiss.
This time she pulled away and laughed. “So you didn’t mind?”
“Not in the least.” He kept his arm loose around her waist as the current of the water rocked them both.
“Thomas?”
“Yes?” He continued to stare into her eyes.
“Why are you alone?”
“I’m not. I’m here with you.”
“You know what I mean.” She raised an eyebrow. “No more avoiding.”
“What do you want me to tell you?” He released his grasp on her and let some distance form between them. “Why they left me? Is that it?” He searched her eyes.
“I guess.” She nodded a little.
He tried to restrain the myriad of emotions that threatened to surface.
“I guess you’d have to ask them then, wouldn’t you? Because I wasn’t the one that did the leaving.”
“That came out wrong. Thomas, I—”
“He left you, didn’t he? Your ex-husband? Is that what you think men do? Leave?”
“He didn’t exactly. I mean, I’m the one that filed for divorce. But he left me long before that.”
“I’m sorry that happened. I can’t imagine what happened between you two, how a man could walk away from a woman like you. But I didn’t walk away. Two women, mentally sound, intelligent women, decided there were better options out there than me. Is that what you want to hear?” He drew away from her. “I thought we were going to explore? I can swim anywhere.”
As he sloshed back to the sand he regretted every step. She’d touched on a vulnerable point and if there was one thing he despised, it was being vulnerable. Better that she knew the truth now, before things got any more complicated. The warm sand shifted beneath his feet but its heat could not compare to the caress of her hand along his back.
“Thomas.”
He turned back to face her. Instead of the anger he expected, her expression was filled with compassion. She stroked his cheek and a sense of comfort billowed within him.
Forty and Free: A Sweet Romance Series Bundle - Books 5 - 8 Page 16