“What is it, Miles? We really do need to get a move on it.” Her tone grew harsher than she intended.
Miles took a step back. “I just want you to know that it’s okay with me. If you—uh—want to date.”
“What?” Her entire body grew weak at his words. Was her twelve-year-old son giving her permission to date? It reminded her that he’d be thinking of dating himself before she knew it. Panic started to bubble up within her.
“It’s okay. Dad would want you to be happy. I do too.”
“Oh, Miles, you don’t have to worry about that.”
“If this Jack guy makes you happy, that’s okay.”
“It’s not that serious.” She set her hands on his shoulders and looked into his eyes. “Thank you, Miles. But I want you to know that these are things that you don’t have to think about.” She smiled at her son. “I’m an adult. You don’t have to worry about me.”
“Does that mean you won’t worry about me when I’m an adult?”
His words jarred her. Of course she would. She would worry about him every day of her life. So why did she dismiss his concern about her?
“No, sweetheart, I won’t ever stop worrying about you. Thank you for thinking of me. But our family is my first priority and nothing is going to distract me from that.”
“I don’t want to be the reason that you’re sad.” He lowered his eyes. “I know it’s hard for you to take care of me and Austin on your own. You shouldn’t have to lose your whole life because of it.”
“Oh, Miles, is that what you think, honey?”
“You’re always so stressed out. You’re always so tired. I know it’s our fault.”
Her heart broke into a thousand pieces as she looked into his eyes. In the midst of all the chaos that had unfurled after her husband’s death, she’d become so bogged down with responsibility that she had to admit to herself, Miles was probably right. She had been miserable.
“I’m so sorry that I made you feel that way. None of this is your fault. You and your brother are the best parts of my life, and I would do anything to see you happy.”
“Don’t you think we want you to be happy too?” He grabbed his lunch bag and his book bag as Austin rushed by and grabbed his. “I just wanted you to know.”
For the first time in years Michelle didn’t care what time it was. She stared after her sons as they disappeared through the door to the driveway. Somehow along the way, they’d grown up far more than she’d realized. While she’d fretted over how they would move forward after their father had died, they’d been waiting for her to take the lead.
She swallowed hard to hold back the tears and with a smile on her face she walked out to the car. If that was what she needed, then it was time for her to evaluate her priorities and make a little room in her life for her own happiness.
Chapter 6
Jack rubbed his eyes and looked away from the screen. Hours behind the computer left him feeling exhausted, but he wanted to make sure he’d reviewed every applicant before he left for Michigan. He didn’t want to face a crisis that might prevent him from having his lunch with Michelle—if she even showed up.
After the way he’d spoken to her the night before, he wondered if she would. It was so tempting for him to take control, as his position at work put him in the decision-making role ninety percent of the time.
It had been a bit of an issue in his marriage, as his wife had enjoyed having her say about most things. He’d adjusted. She’d adjusted. They’d made it work.
But with Michelle it was a little different. He felt such a need to protect her, and now he was afraid that he might have come across the wrong way.
He picked up his phone and checked for any texts. Nothing from her.
He typed out a quick note.
Can we talk tonight?
Then he set his phone down and looked back at the computer. He checked a few final things before heading out to lunch.
On his way out the door, Wes stopped him.
“Jack, join me for lunch?”
“Sure.”
“Great. I’m starving.”
Jack followed Wes to his car, which was worth more than several months of Jack’s salary. He eased into the perfect leather seat and looked over at Wes.
“When did you get this?”
“Yesterday. I’m not sure if I’m keeping it. It’s a bit much, don’t you think?”
“I guess.”
“I need something to distract me.”
“From what?”
“My wife filed for divorce.”
“Seriously? I didn’t know you were having trouble. I’m sorry.”
“Yes, can you believe it? I give her anything and everything she wants, and she still wants a divorce. She’s got a surprise coming, because she signed a prenup and I’m not giving her a dime.”
“Wow, I’m sorry, Wes.”
“Me too. I mean, not that I really mind being single again. It’s the life, right?” He looked over at Jack and grinned. Almost instantly his smile faded. “Sorry, Jack. That was insensitive. I didn’t mean it the way it came out.”
“It’s alright. I am single and I know what you mean. Deciding not to be single any more is a big transition.”
“Are you deciding that?”
“I have someone that I’m interested in.”
“You dog you. I knew you were up to something. So is she a looker?”
“A looker?” He laughed. “Yes, she’s beautiful. But that’s not why I’m interested. We started talking and we hit it off. She’s a very strong woman. I respect that.”
“Where did you two meet? Maybe you could hook me up with someone new.”
“I don’t think so. We met on a site for singles, Forty and Free. They have a section that offers support to widows and we ended up chatting on there.”
“Wait, so you’ve never met her?”
“Not yet.”
He stopped the car in the parking lot of the restaurant. “Then you need to get out now.”
“What do you mean?”
“I know online dating is popular these days, but you can do better than that.”
“Excuse me?”
“Jack, you’re wealthy, fit, and without drama. You’re a catch. You don’t need to date women online.”
Jack stepped out of the car and gritted his teeth. “We’re not dating online. We got to know one another online. We both know what it’s like to lose a spouse, and we’ve helped one another through that.”
“So you think. For all you know she could be some bearded man from a mountain.”
“I’ve seen her picture.”
“So you think.” He locked eyes with Jack. “Until you meet her in person, you have no idea who you’re actually dealing with.”
“You may be right about that, but I’m pretty sure she’s being honest.”
“I don’t know, I think you’re a little crazy to even consider it.”
“Then call me crazy.” Jack shrugged and sat down at the table across from Wes. “What’s so wrong with getting to know a person before all the aesthetics come into play? We’ve talked for hours about anything and everything. She confides in me, I confide in her. I feel like we have this strong connection before we’ve even met.”
“Look, I’m not going to tell you how to live your life, Jack. But if a woman is hiding behind a computer, there’s a reason. Anyway, who am I to judge? I met my wife the old-fashioned way and we know how that’s turning out. Do what makes you happy. Just don’t let her in your pocket. Keep an eye on your wallet, if you know what I mean.”
“Yes, I catch your drift.” Jack resisted rolling his eyes.
Wes was going through a hard time, and it wasn’t as if his concerns weren’t valid. Maybe Jack was overestimating how well he knew Michelle. He assumed she was reluctant to meet him because she was shy or a little insecure, but the idea that maybe she was avoiding a meeting because she truly didn’t want to, was hard to face. Maybe he needed to consider what woul
d happen if she didn’t show up.
He glanced at his phone again. Still no text.
Chapter 7
“Wait, that guy that you’ve been talking to for months? You two haven’t met yet?” Hope lifted an eyebrow. “Why?”
“I’m not sure that I’m ready.” Michelle pushed her salad around on the plate. “I mean, once he meets me, that’s it, right?”
“If you mean that you’ll start a real face-to-face relationship, then yes, that’s it. Why are you fighting it?”
“You know why.”
“Sweetheart, he’s gone. He’s not coming back.”
“I know that. I do know that. Miles was so sweet to me today. He told me that he wanted me to be happy and that if I wanted to date he was okay with it.”
“That is very sweet. So are you going to meet Jack?”
“I feel like I should, and at the same time, I feel like I shouldn’t.”
“What’s stopping you?”
“I really like him.” Michelle bit into her bottom lip.
“That sounds like a good enough reason to meet him.”
“It would be a good reason, except that once he meets me, what if he doesn’t like me? What if I lose the one bright spot in my life?”
“Honey, it sounds to me that you’re going to lose him if you don’t meet him. He’s not going to be patient forever. The fact that he’s waited this long shows that he respects you and has wanted to give you time to adjust. But if you keep pushing him off, he’s going to think that you don’t want anything to do with him. You do want to date him, don’t you?”
“More than anything. I mean, I think so anyway. I just can’t imagine holding hands with another man, let alone anything else.”
“You’re not going to be able to imagine it until you experience it. You just have to let it be something that happens. Once it does, you’ll figure out what you’re ready for.”
“Are you sure?”
“Michelle, I’ll be honest with you. I’ve been longing for a relationship. Now that I’m healthy again, I’m ready to get back out there. But I’m not sure how to go about it. This amazing man is putting himself out there for you. Trust me when I tell you, life is precious and opportunities should be seized.”
“I know you’re right, especially after what you’ve dealt with. It’s just so hard to take that leap.”
“Then let me be the one to tell you to do it. Don’t let anything stand in your way. Just do it.”
“Maybe I will.” She smiled a little. “Maybe I will.”
Tuesday morning she couldn’t quite breathe. Would she go? Would she not go?
She’d sent only cursory texts and had avoided any direct conversation with Jack until the day of their lunch date. She wanted to be sure that she was making the decision because she wanted to, and not just to please him.
She did sense in his texts that he was getting nervous about whether she would show. It was unnerving enough to think that he was in Michigan and only twenty minutes way, but to meet him, to see him face to face? What if he was disappointed?
She pushed her hair back from her face and stared at her reflection in the mirror. Even with a little help from make-up, she thought she looked old. When she’d met her late husband, she’d been fresh-faced and confident. Now she felt like someone’s leftovers with just a bit of eyeliner to help brighten her tired eyes. She fluffed her hair one more time. Would she go?
When her cell phone buzzed she checked it.
I will be there. I hope you will be too.
She stared at the text and realized how unfair she was being. Jack might be just as nervous as she was, yet she’d been letting him hang on until the last minute. It wasn’t right. She needed to make a choice once and for all.
She looked back at her reflection. Miles’s words played through her mind. She didn’t want her boys to grow up thinking that relationships only led to heartbreak.
With trembling fingers she texted Jack back.
Yes. I will be there.
The moment she hit send, it became real to her. Once she made a commitment, she didn’t back out on it.
As the time for the lunch drew closer she willed herself to be calm. She tried on a few different outfits—something she hadn’t done since college. She touched up her make-up, then finally she grabbed her purse. Normally she would have used her day off to catch up on cleaning, organizing, or cooking for the upcoming days. Today, she’d spent all of her free time preparing to meet with Jack. Was that a waste? She couldn’t decide.
As she left the house her heart fluttered with fear. What if he didn’t show up? What if it was all some kind of joke? What if he did show up, but he was disappointed? What if she was disappointed? What if he was an ax murderer?
By the time she parked her car at the cafe her mind swirled with anxiety. She gripped the steering wheel tight and wondered whether she should go inside. She still had time to turn back. She could tell him that she’d gotten caught in traffic or had some kind of car trouble. It wasn’t like she was obligated to show up, and she couldn’t seem to breathe anyway. There was no point in going inside just to pass out on the floor.
She was just about to turn the car back on when her phone buzzed with a text.
I’ve gotten us a table by the window. I hope to see you soon.
She looked through her windshield toward the front window of the cafe. Sure enough, there he was sitting there—not a picture of him, not a fantasy, but a real live man, who hoped to see her soon.
She swallowed hard and tucked her phone into her purse. With a shaking hand she opened the door and stepped out of the car.
Chapter 8
Jack straightened his tie. He’d considered changing before heading to the cafe, as a suit and tie might not be what she was expecting, but he didn’t want to risk being late. As he waited for her to arrive he reminded himself to be as calm and accepting as possible. He’d been warned by others that he could be brash and a bit overbearing at times. He believed it was a side effect of needing to be aggressive in the workplace.
Another glance at his watch only made him wonder if she would show up. Only a minute late, but that minute felt like an eternity.
“Jack.” Her voice squeaked around his name. It was adorable.
He looked at her as he stood up.
“Michelle, I’m so glad you’re here.” He took her hand before she even offered it. “Wow, look at you. You’re beautiful.”
“Oh, no.” She shook her head and drew her hand back from him. “That’s sweet, but I—uh…” She stared down at her feet and clutched her hands at the strap of her purse.
He smiled and pulled out her chair for her. “Please, sit.”
She avoided his eyes and sat down in the chair that he offered.
His hands lingered for a moment where her shoulders met the chair. He was so tempted to run his hands over her shoulders and help her to relax, but he suspected that too much contact might make her uncomfortable.
He sat back down in his chair and stared across the table at her.
“I’m sorry, I just have no idea what to say.” Her cheeks burned bright pink, which only made her more beautiful in his eyes.
“Don’t worry. If you don’t want to say anything, you don’t have to. Let’s just sit together for a few minutes. No pressure.” He looked down at his menu. The last thing that he wanted to be looking at was his menu. He would much rather be looking at her. But she was so skittish that he didn’t want to make her more uncomfortable.
After a few moments of quiet, he glanced over at her to find that she was looking back at him. The moment he met her eyes she looked away and blushed again.
“I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“I was staring.”
“I don’t mind.” He smiled at her.
“This is so strange.”
“Is it?” He folded his menu. “We’ve talked about everything under the sun. Just try to relax.”
“I know, but that see
ms different.”
“Why?”
“You’re here.”
“Yes, I am.” He reached out and took her hand in his. “Which means that I can finally do this—something I’ve been longing to do for so long.”
She bit into her bottom lip and peered across the table at him. “It’s not odd for you?”
“I don’t like that I’m making you uncomfortable. I knew this might be hard for you, but I did hope I’d be able to put you more at ease.”
“It’s not you. I’m just a little flustered. I’m sorry.”
“Will you do something for me?”
“What is it?”
“Just try it.” He smiled.
“Okay.”
“Close your eyes.” He folded his hands on the table and studied her as she reluctantly closed her eyes. “Good, now keep them closed.”
“Okay.” Her voice wavered.
“Now forget that we’re in a cafe. Forget that we’re across from one another. Just listen to my voice. Can you hear me?”
“Yes.”
“See, not much is different, is it? We usually have a phone between us or a computer screen, but it’s still us. Isn’t it?”
“Yes, it is.” She opened her eyes and squeezed his hand. “I wish I could just enjoy this.”
“Let’s start out by ordering, hm?” He gestured to the waitress.
Once the orders were placed he looked back at her. “Not so bad.”
“Not so bad.” She sighed and settled back in her chair. “I’m so glad that you suggested this.”
“I’m glad you came. I wasn’t sure that you would.”
“I almost didn’t.”
He drew his hand back from hers and looked into her eyes. “I hope you know that I didn’t ask you to come for no reason. I wanted the chance to start something with you, something more solid than what we’ve been doing online.”
“I do know that. I’m just not sure how to go about it.”
“Well, lunch is a good start.”
“I suppose it is.” She smiled.
He could tell that it was a real smile. He smiled too, thinking that they were making progress and getting more comfortable with one another.
Forty and Free: A Sweet Romance Series Bundle - Books 5 - 8 Page 28