“I’d say that it was taken about one hundred years ago. Marianna Estelle was the original owner of that ranch.”
“A woman?” She raised an eyebrow. “Was that even allowed then?”
“Technically. She inherited it from her father and never married herself. As you can see by the picture, she surrounded herself with company of a different kind.”
“There are so many animals.” Hope looked at the picture and counted at least twelve animals.
“She took in strays—from dogs to cows to farmhands.”
“Really? She sounds like an amazing woman.”
“She was. I just thought it was interesting that the property was in the hands of a woman again and housing an abandoned animal again. I thought you might like it.”
“I do. Thank you so much for this. Can I buy it from you?”
“Nonsense. Consider it a housewarming gift.”
“Thank you then.” She smiled as she met his eyes. “It’s very kind of you.”
“It’s the least I can do. I think you’re going to bring an interesting dynamic to this little town.”
“I hope I don’t disappoint you.”
“Oh no, don’t worry about that.” He paused for a moment and a flicker of concern shadowed his expression.
“What is it?”
“This may seem a bit invasive to you, but I’m worried about Chase. He seems to be quite fond of you. Is he doing okay?”
“I think so. Maybe you should ask him.”
“I’ve tried.” He sighed and shook his head. “The thing about being a pastor, Hope, is that I never know just the right thing to do. I’ve made more mistakes than I have blessings, I’m afraid.”
“I’m sure whatever happened was just a misunderstanding. Chase hasn’t spoken to me about it.”
“Then I won’t either. Just know that he’s a very good man.”
“I do.” She studied him for a moment. As tempted as she was to ask for more information, she wanted Chase to be the one to tell her. “Thanks again, Pastor Reed.”
“You’re welcome, Hope.”
She headed back to her car with the picture in her hand. She already had a million ideas of how to expand the picture in her graphics program to make a wonderful piece of wall art. It was easy for her to imagine that Marianna’s influence was still felt at the ranch.
Chapter 22
Chase parked near the stable and heard Toby react to his presence as soon as he stepped out of the car. He noticed that Hope’s car was in the driveway. After giving Toby a quick pat and making sure that he had water, he strode up to the front door. He knocked, then smiled expectantly as he waited for her to open the door. A few minutes later, he knocked again. It was clear to him that she was home, as her car was in the driveway.
He peeked through the curtains to see if there was any indication of her being inside the house. Right away he saw her car keys and purse sitting on a table in the foyer. He knocked again, a bit louder. Again, after a few minutes there was no sign of her.
His mind began to race with possibilities. Was she hurt somewhere inside of the house? Had she had a change of heart about him? Maybe the conflict with Pastor Reed was a bit too much to tolerate.
Just when he’d decided that he should give up and head home, the door swung open.
“Chase! I’m sorry; I didn’t hear you at first. I was in the basement.”
“What were you doing in the basement?” He smiled as she gestured for him to come inside.
“I was on a bit of a treasure hunt. I noticed when I moved in that there were some boxes down there, and so I decided to go through them.”
“Did you find anything interesting?”
“I was hoping to find something related to a previous owner of the ranch.” She held up a photograph for him to see. “This is Marianna. She once ran an animal shelter of sorts here.”
“Wow, that’s amazing. Are you sure it’s this ranch?”
“Yes, Pastor Reed told me it was, and he seems to have a lot of knowledge about history.”
“Oh?” He looked up from the photograph and into her eyes. “So you went to his house?”
“Yes, after I stopped at the store.”
“Oh.” He nodded. “Did you two talk about anything?”
“Mostly you.” She leaned her shoulder against the wall and studied him.
He drew a deep breath and did his best to hide the apprehension in his expression. “Why?”
“I think you know why. He’s worried about you. He also told me that you have a very good heart.”
“Hm. I find that hard to believe.”
“It’s true. Whatever you’re holding against him, Chase—and I know that’s your business—he doesn’t seem to be holding anything against you in return.”
Chase sighed and brushed his hand back through his hair. “Maybe not. He is the forgiving type.” He gestured to the couch. “Why don’t we sit?”
“Sure.” She sat down on the couch and moved a pillow out of the way so that he could sit down beside her. “You’re not upset that I went to his house, are you?”
“No, of course not. You’re welcome to go anywhere you like. It also doesn’t surprise me that my name came up.” He shook his head. “I’m sure there were plenty of stories that he could have shared with you. We used to get into a lot of trouble as kids.”
“Wow, two troublesome kids that ended up as a pastor and a vet. Who would have thought?”
“Not our mothers, that’s for sure.” He chuckled. “I spent more time grounded than I did anything else.” He looked into her eyes. “I’m going to tell you the truth about what happened. You can draw your own conclusions from that knowledge. Just be aware that I am not asking you to take sides or even hold back your opinion. I just want you to know the whole story before you hear it from someone else.”
“I’m listening.” She took his hand in hers and stroked the back of it. “Whatever you want to tell me.”
“I mentioned before that I just got out of a relationship. Well, it was a little more than just a relationship. I mean, I’d planned for us to get married and spend the rest of our lives together. I was completely blindsided when she told me that she’d decided to move to another state to continue her career.”
“I’m sorry that happened. I’m sure it was very difficult for you.”
“It was. I just couldn’t understand how things could change so fast. One minute I’m buying her a ring, the next she’s telling me goodbye.”
“Did you actually propose?”
“No. But I came very close.”
“That is heartbreaking, but I don’t understand what that has to do with Pastor Reed.”
“I’ve never been a particularly religious person. I attended service mainly because Joe and I were friends, but he knew that I was always pretty skeptical when it came to faith. I went to him after Karen broke up with me, as my friend, not as a pastor, and I told him what she’d told me. He looked me in the eye and told me that he couldn’t lie to me. He said that she’d been to see him a few times, and that he’d felt strongly that the breakup was for the best.”
“So he knew about it?”
“He knew everything about it. She’d been going to him for counseling, and I didn’t even know that. He never said a word to me, never warned me.”
“Is he allowed to do that, though? Isn’t there some kind of confidentiality when you counsel with a pastor?”
“Yes, of course there is. But I was his best friend. He could have at least warned me. That wasn’t even the worst of it. We got together one night and he admitted that he’d advised her to leave. He told me that I deserved someone who would love me with their whole heart, not just part of it.”
She squeezed his hand and looked into his eyes. “Don’t you think that’s true?”
“Maybe. But he had no right to interfere.”
“She went to him for counseling and he counseled her.”
“See, I knew you wouldn’t understand.”
“Actually, I do.” She leaned close to him and kissed his cheek. “You think that if Pastor Reed had advised her to stay, she might still be here.”
“I’m sure of it.” He looked down at the hand she held. “I didn’t think you would want to talk about this.”
“I don’t mind. We both have pain in our past, Chase. Yours is just a little more fresh than mine.”
“Every time I think about the two of them meeting to talk about me, it makes me so angry. If she’d given me a chance, maybe we could have fixed things.”
Hope’s hand tightened around his. He noticed it, along with the tension in her lips.
“I’m sorry. This is crazy. I shouldn’t be telling you anything about this.”
“Why?” Her lips softened as she smiled. “She was the love of your life, right?”
Chase hesitated as he stared into her eyes. “I thought so.”
“Then I want to know everything about her. Chase, no matter what happens between us, we’re friends first. Okay? I want you to know that you can trust me.”
Chapter 23
Hope licked her lips in an attempt to keep them relaxed. The more she heard Chase speak about Karen, the more anxious she became. She tried to mean what she’d said, but her heart raced as she looked into his eyes. Was he ever going to let Karen go?
She thought at first that he might need a little time, but that then he’d be ready to move forward. But the pain she witnessed in his expression, in his voice, in the way he clutched her hand, was enough to warn her that it might not be the case.
What would she do if Chase decided that he could never love anyone else the way that he’d loved Karen? As Pastor Reed had advised Chase, would she be willing to love a man who only loved her back with part of his heart?
She looked down at their interlaced fingers and saw something beautiful there—as if they were a perfect fit. What did he see when he looked at their hands? Just that her hand wasn’t Karen’s?
She looked back up into his eyes. “You can trust me, Chase. I know that this is a difficult time for you.”
“But it shouldn’t be for you. That’s what I’m afraid of. I don’t want you to get tangled up in this mess of my emotions.”
“Nothing about you is a mess. I told you, you can take all the time that you need. But I do wonder one thing.”
“What’s that?” He shifted closer to her on the couch and looked into her eyes.
“Are you waiting for her to come back?”
His lips trembled and then tightened. He glanced down at their clasped hands. “I’m not sure how to answer that.”
“Honestly. Remember? We need to be honest with each other.”
He squeezed her hand and continued to stare at it. “Hope, I never expected to come across a woman like you.”
“It was a surprise for both of us. Just like you, I’ve had a lot of changes in my life, and I’m not sure if I’m any more ready than you are for a relationship. But the one thing I don’t doubt is my feelings for you.”
“I don’t doubt how I’m feeling about you either.” He looked back up at her and frowned. “But I won’t lie to you. A part of me does wonder about her coming back. Maybe it’s because it’s hasn’t been long enough for me to get used to her being gone.”
She swallowed hard and had to look away. As much as she appreciated his honesty, that was not the answer that she wanted to hear.
“I understand.” She breathed the words out.
“Hope.” He stroked her cheek and guided her gaze back to his. “I’m sorry. This is horrible. I never wanted to do or say anything to hurt you. I never should have let this happen. I should go.”
She pressed her lips to his before he could stand up or say another word. She fully expected him to pull away, even push her away. Instead, his arms wrapped around her and he pressed her body close to his as he deepened the kiss. She encouraged the embrace to continue and wondered if it might be his way of saying goodbye.
When they broke apart she had to look away to hide the tears in her eyes.
“I shouldn’t have pushed you. If you want to go—if that’s what you want—I’ll respect that.”
“No.” He cupped her cheeks with his hands and kissed her forehead. “I don’t want to go anywhere. I just don’t know if I can ask you to ride through this with me.”
“You don’t have to ask me.” She tilted her head back and looked into his eyes. “I’m already here, Chase. Can’t you see that?”
“Yes, I do. But I also see that you’re trying not to be hurt. I don’t want to hurt you.”
“I don’t care if you hurt me.” She narrowed her eyes as she looked hard into his. “That’s my risk to take.”
“How could you not care?”
“I’ve lived through more hurt and pain than most people ever will. That, I am used to. I can handle a bruised heart. I can handle hurt feelings. What I can’t endure is the thought of never having the chance to know what could become of us.”
“Do you really mean that?” He trailed his fingertips from the curve of her cheek to the slope of her neck. “Because I can’t make any promises, no matter how much I want to.”
“I’m not asking for any promises. None. Just don’t walk out that door. Don’t dismiss me and pretend that you’re doing it for my sake. Because I’m invested in you—in us—and I’m willing to ride through the bumps and hardships that might come with it. I know that you might not be sure about things yet. I also know that you might be scared that you’ll get hurt again. I’m willing to take those chances with you, as long as you’re willing to take those chances with me. Are you, Chase?”
“Yes.” He drew her hands up to his lips and kissed the back of each one. “There’s nothing I want more than to give this a chance.”
“Then we’ll do just that. If you need to talk about Karen, I’m here to listen. I don’t want you to hide anything from me. Okay?”
“Okay.” He nodded and wrapped his arms around her. “I don’t know how you can be so understanding, but thank you.”
“I understand because I know what it’s like to think you’re going to lose the breath from your lungs and the beat of your heart. I also know that losing someone you think is the love of your life feels very similar to that. We’re both going to heal, we just need to give one another some time.”
Chapter 24
“You’re willing to take that time?” Chase asked her.
“Yes, I am. I’m by your side, through all of it.”
“I can’t tell you how much I appreciate that.”
“You don’t have to tell me. But I hope that I can be honest with you about something.”
“You can. Anything.” He gave her hands a subtle squeeze.
“I don’t think that Joe—Pastor Reed—did anything wrong.”
He tensed at Hope’s words and glanced away. “I know that he didn’t.”
“You do?”
“Yes, I do. I’m not foolish enough to think that he would throw away years of friendship. It’s just that I can’t stop thinking about it. When I see him, all I can think about is the two of them discussing my love life. I mean, how is that acceptable?”
“I think that you need to consider why your best friend did this for you. Do you think he advised her to leave because he thought it would hurt you?”
“No. I guess not. But I guess I feel like I didn’t have the chance to change things. If I had known that she wasn’t happy, maybe I could have changed, maybe I could have tried harder.” He grimaced. “And now I’m wasting our time together on this. Look, I appreciate that you want to be open with me and that you want me to be open with you, but I’d much rather focus on us.”
“I’m okay with that too.” She smiled. “Let me get lunch ready, then we can eat on the back deck if you’d like.”
“Okay.” Chase nodded and stood up as she did. “Anything I can do to help?”
“You can keep me company if you’d like.”
“I would.” H
e followed her into the kitchen. As she prepared the sandwiches he sliced the tomatoes. “Does this count as cooking for me?”
“Yes.” She grinned.
“So then this is officially a second date?”
“Absolutely.” She took the tomatoes that he’d sliced and stacked them on the sandwiches. “Want some iced tea to go with it?”
“I would love some.”
She turned to grab the tea and he reached above the sink to retrieve a few glasses.
“I noticed that you don’t have much here. Are you still deciding whether you’re going to stay or not?”
“No, I’m staying. But I didn’t bring much with me. I guess I’ll have to do a bit of shopping. Ice?” She held out an ice tray.
“Sure—a couple of cubes, please.”
She tossed the ice cubes into the glasses, then poured the tea. He observed the way she paid close attention to everything she did. When she carried the tea her body tilted a little with the weight of it.
“Can I ask you something about your treatment?”
“Mm-hm—anything.” She picked up the plates and he picked up the glasses. They headed out onto the back deck and set everything down on the table.
“Do you have any lingering effects from the chemotherapy?”
She fiddled with her glass a moment before she nodded. “Pain sometimes. Fatigue others. Nothing too bad. Nothing I can’t handle.”
“I imagine there aren’t many things that you can’t handle.”
“I have been through a lot, but I’m sure there are still challenges to come. I guess I just look at them a little differently now. In the past, I would have seen a challenge as a problem. Now I feel a sense of gratitude for even being able to experience it.”
“That’s such a beautiful way to look at life.” He sipped his drink. “Though I wish you didn’t have to go through all that you did.”
“It brought me here.” She smiled across the table at him. “So I don’t mind.”
He laughed and shook his head. “That’s a good point.”
Forty and Free: A Sweet Romance Series Bundle - Books 5 - 8 Page 46