Now if only I knew exactly what the heck I was doing.
I sat in a straight chair in the center of the room. Jackie had her hand on one of my shoulders, and Colby gripped the other. I could hear Cathryn’s quiet sobs from the foot of the stairs, where she sat with Cillian, Henry’s head cradled in her lap.
Seth, who had changed into the same creature of light I’d seen back in my apartment in Wisconsin, smiled down at me. He tilted his head as he spoke.
“Joy, the chosen vessel of light, do you give us permission to work through your being?”
I nodded. “I give you my permission.”
He laid one large hand on my head, and the world went dark for a solid minute. For a terrifying second, I was sure I’d gone blind, and then suddenly I could see everything in the world.
Colors exploded before my eyes. I saw a kaleidoscope of shapes and shades, the most beautiful collage I’d ever seen. My breath caught, and tears threatened.
As I marveled at the sights, I was infused with an incredible warmth and the purest, most complete sense of love and peace I’d ever known. I was floating on a warm wave of tranquility and bliss, each swell filling me and renewing every cell in my body.
I felt powerful, but I had no desire to use that strength to do anything but to serve and to share. I wanted everyone in the world to experience the absolute love I knew right now. I was nearly overflowing with this sensation, and I wasn’t sure what would happen once I reached the tipping point.
When it happened, there was yet another change. Light flew out of my fingertips, my feet and my face. As it did, I drifted above the earth, looking down onto the people: families and communities, groups and nations and towns and states, those who were alone and those who were not. I could see the goodness in them, even though there was an undeniable shadow over each one. The desire for love and peace was there, and seeing that swelled my heart even more, until I thought I might burst.
After a few moments, I felt a subtle guidance, as though someone were steering me in a particular direction. This time, I didn’t see happiness and hope. I saw utter darkness and hate and pain.
Show them, Joy. Show the people love. Show them peace. Show them . . . joy.
I wasn’t sure how to go about that, so I did what felt natural and right. I let the love that infused my soul overflow, until it saturated the frightened people hiding in the dark. There were small but powerful explosions, and suddenly, I realized that each one was another small Hive outpost, the drones who were causing the chaos of this day. I was destroying them as Seth had said I would, but I wasn’t doing it with violence or hatred or bloodshed. It was love and peace flowing through me that ended any control the Hive had over the drones.
My focus sharpened, and now I could see individuals, a quick shot of each one before I flew past. There was a man about to detonate a massive explosion in Paris, but instead he laid down the control and snipped the wire before he walked away. A woman in Baltimore who was holding a gun to a teenager’s head dropped her weapon and began to weep. The flames of fires around the world were being extinguished instead of fanned.
With each branch of the Hive that was turned, I felt lighter, until I was certain I was going to keep floating further and further away from earth, wrapped in the blanket of eternal and absolute love for all of time. I didn’t mind that idea. It was appealing to think about never having to deal with the messiness and pain of life again, and I was tempted to turn my eyes from the frenzied activity on earth to the gentle serenity beyond.
“Joy.” Jackie’s voice cut through the mist. “Joy, you did it. You can come back now. Come on, honey. Mission accomplished. Come back to us.”
I appreciated the sentiment—I liked Jackie—but it wasn’t enough to make me want to return, not when the light was so perfect and wonderful. I could feel her hand on my shoulder still, but it didn’t distract me.
“Joy.” Colby spoke close to my ear. “You’re finished. You did it. Come back now. You fulfilled your destiny, but you’re not done on earth. You have so much more to do here. So much more to live here.”
I wavered. Colby sounded intense. Well, after all, it was his job to keep me safe. My champion, Seth had called him. He was doing that now.
“Joy.” This time, his voice was whisper, but I heard it louder than anything else. “Come back. Come back to me. Don’t go away. We have more to do together. We’ve only begun. If you go away, who’s going to annoy me all the time? Come back, Joy. I need you.”
The love that poured into me this time was not the same as it was before. It was not a general feeling for all of the world; it was specific, for the man whose warm fingers were even now rubbing my skin. I didn’t know the hows or the whys, but they didn’t matter just now. I was certain that Colby was mine, and amazingly, I belonged to him. I had to go back to see how the rest of our story played out.
In case that hadn’t done the trick to call me home, Colby lowered his hand to cover my bump, caressing the firm skin that covered my baby. She wriggled within me and kicked against his fingers. I heard his soft laugh in my ear.
This was my family, the one I’d longed for all of my life. They were my reward for assuming the role of the vessel, for letting all that beauty flow through me. They were mine, and they were more than enough to ground me on earth.
I floated back, coming to myself slowly, blinking slowly. Colby’s face, close to mine, was the first thing I saw.
“Joy?” he whispered, the familiar concern shining in his eyes.
I smiled and gave him a gentle push. “I’m fine, you big worrywart.” And then, because I didn’t want him to get any ideas about taking back what he’d said to me a few minutes ago, when I was still in vessel mode, I curled my fingers around the back of his neck and pulled him to me, kissing his lips.
“I hope you meant that,” I whispered against his mouth. “Because pregnant ladies are chock full of crazy hormones, and we don’t take well to men who change their minds about important stuff.”
Colby laughed, and I thought it was the most incredible sound in the entire world. And after what I’d just seen and done, that was saying something.
“I meant every single word.” This time, he made the move, his lips firm on mine, and suddenly, I was seeing fireworks again.
Hot dang.
I will follow you
To the end of the world.
With you.
“I Will Follow You” Lyrics by RIVVRS
Rafe
“‘The pain of parting is nothing to the joy of meeting again.’”
I looked around the great room as I spoke, and I knew the words were true. But for some of us just now, the pain of a sudden, violent parting was fresh and overwhelming, and joy seemed very distant.
Cathryn was huddled in a corner of the sofa, and Seamus had his arms wrapped around her. Pain was etched on our boss lady’s face. Henry had been a constant presence in her life from her earliest childhood, and she’d thought that bringing him here with us would keep him safer. Instead, he’d given his life to save hers.
I’d loved the old man, too. He had been good to both Nell and me during our tenure at Carruthers. I couldn’t imagine the kitchen at Harper Creek without him in it.
Nicoleta sat in a chair alongside Zoe, a little removed from the others. Her face was serene; she was not suffering any guilt from having killed Alyse and Ben . . . and I had to kind of admire that. I knew that taking a life was a serious matter, and I understood that it was only advisable under the most extreme conditions. But she’d acted as she felt called to do, and perhaps she’d had the balls to do what the rest of us could not.
Nell didn’t seem to be harboring any resentment toward the Romanian who’d killed her mother. On the contrary, she’d intentionally reached out on our way back to the cabin, assuring Nicoleta that there was no blame.
“She was going to kill me, I have no doubt about that.” Nell spoke so matter-of-factly about her mother’s ultimate betrayal that it hurt my hear
t. “And she murdered Marica. I’m so sorry, Nicoleta. I’m sorry for your loss. Marica . . . well, you know the history. We had our differences. But she served with us in this battle, and she was strong. You and your family must be very proud of her.”
“We are.” Nicoleta had inclined her head.
“I had no idea that you had that kind of power,” Nell had added, a tiny bit of awe in her voice. “Why didn’t you tell us?”
The Romanian lifted one shoulder. “My job was to keep Marica under control. Of course, I would have to possess considerable magic myself to do that. Cathryn knew it. But I had no desire to be a warrior in this fight. My mission was simple, and it was completed, too.”
As if she sensed me thinking about her, Nell shifted within my embrace. “So much relief, and yet so much pain and grief.” She glanced at Veronica, who’d finally washed Paige’s blood from her cheek.
“She wants to go to Wisconsin and visit Paige’s grave.” I nodded. “I guess no matter how many centuries you live, death is still the enemy.”
Lucas turned his head as he heard me speak. “Death is not the enemy, Rafe. It doesn’t have to be. Violent, senseless loss . . . yes, I’ll give you that. And Veronica had hoped to save Paige this time around. But it wasn’t meant to be. It was always her destiny to pass over on that day in 1967. If we had stopped Liesel, something else would have happened.” He rubbed Jackie’s cheek with the back of his fingers, and she smiled as she snuggled against him. “Destiny can be a good thing sometimes, too.”
“I won’t argue with you there.” I kissed the top of Nell’s head.
“Rafe, you should say something. To everyone here.” She tilted her face toward me. “Something kind of . . . I don’t. Something to end all this. Something to make sense of everything.”
“That’s Cathryn’s job,” I reminded her.
“Yes, I know, but she’s not up to it now. She can’t handle it, and after everything that’s happened, she’s entitled to a little break. You should be the one to do it.” She smiled a bit. “After all, you were there at the start, both times.”
I rolled my eyes. “I hate making speeches.”
“Don’t look at it that way. Look at it like . . . a toast, to those of us who are here and those of us who are not.”
“Fine.” Sighing I stood up and cleared my throat. We weren’t a very boisterous bunch just now, so it didn’t take much to gain the room’s attention.
Tasmyn, sitting between Michael and Marly as they chatted with Colby and Joy, met my eyes. She gave me a bright smile and a wink.
I dropped the barriers that kept her from hearing my mind and thought extra loud. You should be the one doing this. You faced Ben before I was involved. You were there at the start, too.
She laughed and shook her head, raising one eyebrow to let me know that the floor was mine. Great.
I glanced at all of us, at the happy faces and at those wreathed in sorrow. I saw the utter exhaustion etched across every single one. We should all have been taking a two-week nap. But Nell was right. We needed that closure.
“We did it.” It was the right place to start, and yet the words sounded hollow, even to my own ears. “We stopped the Hive—twice, in fact—and we obliterated it. The violence and terror acts that started at this day’s dawn have all been halted, and the Hive no longer exists. The demons didn’t enter our world—not even one of them. The portal is sealed for all time. Tonight, the sun will set, and tomorrow it will rise. Most of the people who live on the globe won’t have any idea how close they came to being destroyed.
“But we know. And we won’t forget.” I paused, taking in a deep breath. “Every one of us here did the job he or she was assigned to do. We worked together. We used the extraordinary gifts we have to change the future.
“Along the way, we lost some whom we loved. We will never forget them, and we will always honor the memory of Henry, Julia, Marica and Paige.” I glanced at Nell. “Others died who were not fighting with us, but whose death still affects us. Alyse Brador made a series of bad choices, and we hate what she became. But she was still Nell’s mother, and maybe we can remember her for the love she gave her daughter in those early years.”
Nell smiled at me.
“No matter what, though, this battle has changed us all. We’ll never be the same people as we were before. We’ll leave this cabin tomorrow morning and return to our homes and our lives, but we will always be connected by the shared experiences we had here.”
I didn’t know what else to say. I glanced at Cathryn and shrugged.
“Thank you.” She didn’t stand up, but we could all hear her anyway. “Thank you for being here, for turning your lives upside down and risking . . . everything. All of you have my eternal gratitude.” She looked as though she might say something else, but in the end, she didn’t.
I sat down again, and Nell patted my arm. “That was exactly what we needed. Good job.” She stood up, rolling her shoulders, and offered me her hand. “Let’s go see about some food. No one’s saying anything, but they’re all bound to be hungry soon.”
“Why do we have to do it? Jackie’s the cook.”
“We’re going to heat something up. It’s not rocket science, Rafe.” Nell shook her head at me. “Henry left tons of stuff in the freezer.”
“Fine.” I let her haul me to my feet. “But if I end up cutting off something vital, it’s on your head.”
“I’ll assume that responsibility.” She threaded her fingers into mine. “Thanks for saying what you did about my mother. You’re right that she wasn’t a good person. Not for a long time. But I have my memories. She loved me, once upon a time. And that’s who I’m mourning.”
“Rafe?” Joss shimmered in front of me. “Could I speak with you a moment? I think . . . I won’t be making the trip back to Harper Creek.”
My throat tightened. “Why? What happened?”
“Nothing happened. We knew that this was likely. I made it back to say good-bye to everyone else, and now it’s time for me to go.”
“Uh . . . sure.” I opened the door of the small sitting room just off the kitchen. “We can talk in here.”
Nell hesitated, her eyes focused on Joss. “I’ll leave you alone and go see about some food. Thank you, Joss, for . . . everything. I’m glad I got to know you, even if the whole situation was a little unorthodox.”
“Unorthodox is what we do.” Joss winked at her. “Nell, meeting you has been a privilege. Thanks for everything you did for me. Do me one more favor, huh—take care of this troublemaker.”
Nell lifted one eyebrow. “That’s a pretty big job. Are you sure don’t want to stick around to help me keep him in line?”
Wistfulness filled Joss’s face. “Wish I could. But this is your mission now. Mine is—elsewhere.”
Nell swallowed, and I thought I might have caught a flash of tears in her eyes. “Happy landings, Joss.” She touched my arm, gave me a smile, and then left the room, shutting the door behind her.
“So.” Joss smiled at me, and I felt like my heart was in a vice.
“So?” I tried for casual, even though I felt anything but. “We did it. Saved the world, secured the future, yada, yada, yada. Shouldn’t we make some kind of quippy line about getting some fast food or something? Or going to a theme park?”
She laughed. “Maybe we should.” Something happened to her, almost like she was flickering. I blinked and rubbed at my eyes. It’d been a damn long day, and that was the understatement of the millennium. At least.
But when it happened again, I frowned. “What’s going on? Joss?”
“It’s over, Rafe. Like you said, we did it. And now it’s time for me to move on.” Her mouth quirked up into a half-hearted smile. “I mean, it’d be kind of lame for me to just hang out at the condo for the rest of eternity, right? I’ve got to get on with my life. Or my death. Whatever.” Her image jumped again, and she glanced over her shoulder, as though she was looking at some distant scene that was hidden from me. “A
ll right, hold on. Give a girl a minute, would you?”
“Who’re you talking to?” I fisted my hands on my hips, steeling myself against the lump in my throat.
“Someone . . . on the other side. The powers that be and all that, you know. Time is short. I was given a rare gift, and now its time has passed. I need to go back. I still have . . . like, growth and stuff. Don’t think it’s all angel wings and harps over there, bud. I’m still working out my eternity.” She winked. “Lucky for me, I have a long time to make it right.”
“Will I see you again? Someday, when I cross over?”
She shrugged, but when she did, her shoulder faded away. “I don’t know. Maybe. I hope so. But I hope it’s a good long time from now. After all the work you did to make sure the world isn’t overrun and destroyed, you deserve a little time to enjoy it, right?”
“You’d think.”
“And there’s Nell.” Her voice softened. “She needs you, Rafe, even though it’s hard for her to tell you so. You need her, too. You two make each other better.”
At the thought of Nell—my wife—a familiar warmth spread over me. I knew Joss was right. Nell challenged me, she supported me in her own special way, and she loved me. Our life together had been nothing short of the wildest roller coaster ride, but it was who we were. Nell and I would never be a suburban, working-nine-to-five couple. We wouldn’t be satisfied living a calm and peaceful life, although right now, I knew I could take a little of the quiet.
“I love her so much.” I glanced at Joss, guilt tinging my expression. “I mean . . . shit, Joss. The months we had together changed me. I wouldn’t give up those memories for anything.”
“But we had an expiration date, Rafe.” It looked as though tears were swimming in her eyes, but I couldn’t be sure, because she was flickering off more than on now. “Our time together was meant to smooth the way for you and Nell. We weren’t meant for forever, the way you two are.”
Age of Aquarius Page 32