* * *
Close to five o’clock Sidonie pulled up outside the house on Robina. She cut the motor and turned to Tenille. ‘This is it Honey, #39.’
She scrutinized the facade closely. It looked well cared for and she liked what she’d seen of the neighborhood. Sidonie jumped out and was collecting the crutches as the front door opened, Moira standing there, casually dressed in shorts and open necked shirt. Both garments were large and ballooning to accommodate her rotund figure.
‘Come in both of you. Rani and I have been keeping a lookout.’ She showed them into the same room Sidonie had first seen. Rani, seated on one of the uncomfortable chairs, looked regal in a flowing sari of crimson and gold, idly turning the pages of a magazine. She threw it onto the side table. A glossy fashion review, it seemed, as she caught an upside down glimpse.
Moira made the introductions and the three shook hands. ‘I’ll take you to the apartment,’ she said, brusque as ever. The stairs were steep, but Tenille negotiated them well. She wasn’t impressed with what she saw, but for their own space and privacy, she was prepared to accept anything. The kitchen and bathroom really were a letdown. Only one closet in the bedroom and nowhere to eat. It should be possible to find something second-hand, she surmised. Otherwise the scale of the rooms and the large windows were pleasing.
Returning downstairs the rich aroma of freshly brewed coffee assailed them. “They must have a routine going here,” Sidonie mused. This was just like last time. Here was Act II, Scene I, enter next prospective tenant. ‘Would you like coffee? Or we have lime cordial,’ Rani offered. Tenille accepted the coffee; Sidonie opted for juice.
‘What did you do to your leg?’ Moira enquired, trying to get the measure of Tenille by encouraging her to talk. She explained the circumstances of the accident in brief and both women appeared to respond favorably to her conversation. Then she asked: ‘And you Rani. Do you dance?’
This took her by surprise, but she was happy to tell her that no, she didn’t, but she enjoyed listening to Indian music. Her culture was very important to her. She belonged to the Overseas Club at the University.
‘We have a drop-in centre where they feature a guest speaker or performer on a regular basis.’
Tenille then turned to Moira and smiled. ‘Have you ever been to one of these evenings?’
What was Tenille doing? Sidonie wondered. She threw her a questioning look. It was like she was interviewing them. “Don’t put their backs up, Honey,” she prayed. But far from being upsetting, they seemed quite at ease, this meeting being more successful than hers, she realized. The exchanges back and forth moved easily. Tenille seemed to have a facility that she lacked. By the time they’d finished their beverages the three of them were chatting and laughing and Sidonie felt left out. No matter. If it scored them the apartment, it was all to the good.
Moira returned to the business at hand and moved on to introduce the possibly contentious issue of rent.
‘Have you thought any more about this, Sidonie?’
At last she was being included. ‘Yes. We’ve discussed it and we feel we can carry it all right,’ she affirmed. ‘In fact we feel you are being quite generous to us and we appreciate it.’
Rani and Moira beamed at this acknowledgment.
‘We have a standard landlord and tenant lease here. Will you look it over and sign, if everything meets with your satisfaction?’ She handed the sheaf of papers over to Sidonie, who proceeded to share them with Tenille. No great dramas. Just one month’s rent in advance and to pay for any damage occurring to walls, floor or appliances.
‘Will you give us a moment to talk together?’ Sidonie asked.
‘Of course.’ Moira waved her hand.
‘We’ll just go look at the garden Tenille hasn’t seen the back.’
‘Yes. By all means,’ she agreed.
She took Tenille out through the front and round to the side, passing by their entrance to go through the gate now ahead of them. Tenille liked the yard and exclaimed her pleasure.
‘We would have the use of this space too,’ Sidonie elaborated. She looked about her. ‘There’s a BBQ grill somewhere.’ She turned to Tenille. ‘Well, what do you think?’ her enquiry tentative. She knew she wanted it, but didn’t want to be too forceful.
‘Well, I’ll be honest with you Sid,’ she looked back at her. ‘I don’t think the apartment is all that great but …’ she held up her hand to stem any argument, ‘ …but,’ she continued, ‘ …there are mitigating circumstances.’ Sidonie’s eyes met hers.
‘1: I like the people. 2: I like the neighborhood. 3: If we take it, we can be together, real soon. And that’s the best argument of all, don’t you agree?’
‘Oh Ten, are you saying ‘yes’?’ Sidonie rushed in jubilantly.
‘Yes darling,’ she replied with a smile. ‘In fact I’m saying ‘yes’ to a lot more than the apartment.’ She moved closer and looked deeply into her eyes, her face solemn. ‘I want to be with you, Sid. I want us to be together, alone. To feel safe from prying eyes; to be able to turn the key and know that our space is inviolate.’ She continued to look steadily at Sidonie, but here was no smiling countenance. The solemnity of the moment added years to her demeanor. The thought intruded … this is how Tenille will appear as time takes its inevitable toll on her beautiful face. A depth of character would be added to its beauty and she felt the impact, experiencing a propitious tightening under the ribs. This scene would be remembered in every detail, down to the scent of the wild thyme growing in the herb garden and the hum of the honey sucker’s wings, as it hovered intently before a gladiolus trumpet. These imprints would remain ’til her dying day. She took Tenille’s left hand in hers and placed her right over it, the gravity of the sequence made her eyes glisten.
‘With your hand in mine, I pledge to give you my loyalty, my faithfulness … and my love, for as long as you desire them.’ Sidonie’s face had taken on an aspect of profound earnestness, testament to the seriousness of this proceeding. These were no light words but, intoned with solemnity, whilst standing in the centre of the lawn, were spoken from the heart. Here was an intermission of emotional transcendence. It had come suddenly, in the midst of making a working decision; to rent or not to rent. Standing in the broken sunlight, passing through the shadowy leaves of tall shrubs, they had embarked upon vows of love and dedication. They would have anticipated making them at some special restaurant, over candlelight and wine, certainly not at six o’clock on a Saturday afternoon, jaded and travel-weary.
Tenille said nothing, too moved to articulate coherent thoughts. Instead, she looked down and extricated her hand to retrieve her crutch. “Not even sealed with a kiss,” she thought in passing, as they returned to Moira and Rani.
Sidonie spoke for them both. ‘Where do I sign?’
‘Oh, we’re so glad,’ Rani poured forth her pleasure. ‘We were really getting desperate. We do so want people living upstairs and you are both so nice.’
Sidonie was happy to hear this. She had thought them critical people and that nothing would be satisfactory.
‘As I mentioned before,’ Moira reminded them: ‘You can move in any time.’
‘Thank you,’ Sidonie said. ‘What about next Saturday?’ She faced Tenille. ‘How much notice do you need to give Mrs S.?’
‘Just a week would be acceptable to her I think. Yes, so Saturday should be fine.’
Rani beamed. ‘That’s settled then.’ She looked at them in turn. ‘Would you like another drink?’
‘No thanks, Rani. We must get over to Tenille’s place and get everything squared away with her landlady. Thank you anyway,’ Sidonie finished.
Back in the car they just sat and looked at each other then … ‘We’ve got it and we’ve done it.’ Sidonie reached for her hand and Tenille clasped it eagerly, taking some calming breaths, slow and deep before continuing. ‘This will be the start of a new life for us Sid, won’t it?’ she prophesied.
‘Yes,’ Sidonie agreed, ov
erwhelmed and joyful at the same time. Everything was beginning to take shape. Could she believe it? ‘Let’s start it right away by going to Mrs. Sandrelli’s and then celebrate tonight at Thea and Reine’s.’
‘Yes. I’ll be with you on that,’ she said in buoyant concurrence. They regarded each other a moment longer. To kiss now would have been perfect pleasure. Their own private space was secured. This was a public space, so to wait a little longer was not beyond them.
‘Right,’ Sidonie said decisively. ‘Mrs. Sandrelli’s it is.’
Dusk gathered quickly, with the lights of the city springing up in ever more rapid succession. When Serafina heard the news she was happy for Tenille, but felt sorrow at losing her.
‘Perhaps you will drop by to visit, sometime?’ She smiled as she spoke, plump cheeks dimpling in a way that made Tenille resolve she would definitely be back.
When she looked around her room, seeing it through eyes detached by distance, she realized that despite her efforts to impart warmth and individuality, it still looked like a motel. She had very much appreciated finding #226, but she wouldn’t be sorry to leave. She glanced across at Sid, busy in the kitchen making them coffees and marvelled how things had turned out. Was it only five months since they’d first met? She was preparing to share herself with this woman, still a girl really. Her life, her hopes and her dreams. She smiled to herself for a fleetingly warm second. What a step. No – what a plunge.
‘Here you are my Sunshine. Your coffee, just as you like it … and no sugar ‘cause you’re already sweet enough.’ It was a hackneyed saying, but their mutual beguilement was intoxicating. She beamed down into Tenille’s eyes, brimming with wellbeing and contentment. How she filled up her empty spaces. Her true and most intimate self was centred with her.
Taking the mug, Tenille asked, with a sudden change of mood: ‘Sid, did you know they say the gods are jealous when they see people enjoying too much happiness?’ Her eyes, no longer sparkling, held hers.
‘Do you mean us, darling? And that now we’re in for a crash?’ Sidonie squatted down beside her chair.
‘It’s said they will find punishments for those who glory in their love. Are you not a little afraid?’ she pressed, impelled by fear.
‘That something will happen to make us unhappy?’ she raised her eyebrows in enquiry. ‘No..o. I’m not afraid. If I were to be afraid, I wouldn’t venture into the world to take my chances.’ She looked serious. ‘So long as you have no regrets, then take courage in both hands; be prepared to meet what lies ahead. Don’t go thinking bad thoughts, Precious. There’s nothing hovering anywhere near our horizon to mar our contentment.’ She stopped suddenly, her brows narrowing, then asked sharply: ‘You’re not having second thoughts, are you?’ her ice blue eyes drilling into her.
Tenille stroked her soft, blonde hair, reflecting light, like so many laser beams, in the glow from the bedside lamp. ‘No, I’ve no second thoughts, my love,’ she murmured gently. ‘I did a lot of thinking back there in Lindsay. I don’t need to think more. I need to live … and especially no regrets.’ She paused for a moment and took another sip from her cup. ‘Except perhaps, that I’ve wasted time by not meeting you sooner, but then, you would have been too young and I’d not have looked at you in that special way.’ She bent down and gave that precious, golden head, alive with a fiery light, a rain of soft kisses.
‘That special way,’ Sidonie repeated slowly, savoring each word, and the moment. ‘That’s true too, Ten. We met each other when the time was right for us.’ She kissed Tenille’s gently rounded softness through her cotton shirt, then continued. ‘Earlier would have been too soon … later, well we’d be different people again, with different life experiences and then it could be too late.’ She drew in a deep breath and lifted herself to the arm of the chair. ‘No, as things stand, I believe everything has been perfect in its timing. Just as you are perfect.’ Now she was overflowing with rapture, unable to contain herself. She jumped up to encircle her arms about Tenille and plant a smacking kiss on her.
‘Get your gear together, woman. I’m taking you out for dinner.’
She took off to get her own coffee. ‘What do you need for tonight – dress, pants? I’ll get them for you.’ Tenille laughed. Sidonie was in that mood she found so infectious. Oh, she was so good for her. Her heart’s desire.
‘A skirt, Honey. Otherwise it’s shorts. Pants are too difficult to get over my cast.’
‘0..kay, which one?’ She stood in front of the closet and swished hangers along the rail, inspecting the clothes. The selection was not great. As Tenille watched she suddenly said: ‘That one. No, back one.’ Sidonie had moved too fast. It was a full black skirt, three quarter length with little purple flowers over it. They sprouted small, turquoise leaves.
‘Oh, very nice,’ she admired. ‘Now tops. You keep them …?’ Tenille indicated the middle drawer of the chest. ‘What color are you after?’
‘As to that,’ she responded, ‘I’ll have to look myself. I need to refresh my memory as to what all I have.’
‘Now here am I …’ she stood with hands on her hips, ‘ …trying to save you effort and you’re going to get up anyway,’ she grumbled in mock annoyance.
‘I’m not an invalid, Sid,’ she objected: ‘I just have to do a lot of hopping that’s all.’
‘Oh, I know Babe, but I like being of assistance.’ She turned from the chest and smiled back. ‘Just being in a position to help you makes me feel good.’ Adoration shone from her young face.
The two women stood side by side, looking at the spilled contents, happy in their close proximity. Tops were to one side, winter sweaters the other. They chose together, selecting a purple, cotton shell featuring three, thin straps over each shoulder. This meant Tenille wouldn’t wear a bra and they both liked that.
‘I’ve been having baths at mom’s so I was able to keep my leg up on the side of the bathtub. In a shower I have to use a plastic bag. Can you get me one Sid? and I’ll go clean up.’
‘Sure thing.’
‘There, in the bottom drawer. Yes, there.’
She brought the bag over. ‘How do you keep it on?’
‘I just screw the open end up tight and tuck it into the top of the cast,’ she explained.
‘Do you remember when you used to itch inside there? It was driving you mad at one time?’
‘Yes, I do,’ the reply came with feeling. ‘Thank goodness that stage is over. I wasn’t very easy in those days, was I?’ she admitted.
‘No problem to me. It was worse for you. Now can you manage all right? Do you need anything more?’
‘No, this is fine. I’m set.’
‘OK then. While you’re showering, I’ll just nip out and get my tote bag. I’d like to freshen up too. I’ve got a change of shirts, which I’d meant to do earlier. Never mind, now is fine.’
On her return, Tenille was out of the shower and cleaning her teeth. ‘All yours,’ she mumbled through the foam.
‘Good. I’ll be quick. I’ll have to stop off at the beer store to pick up a six-pack, so we should make tracks soon.’
Tenille rinsed her mouth, then just clutching the towel to her, hopped out the bathroom and over to the bedside. Sid stopped and watched, admiring the curves and her naturalness, straight from the shower – just as nature made her. She went into the bathroom to change, feeling too shy to strip in the room. Their moments of intimacy had been too scattered for her to have built up an easy way of being. When she emerged again, she was dressed in her denim shirt, looking wholesomely fresh.
“So brimming with life and vitality,” thought Tenille, whilst she, in comparison seemed like a dotty senior plodding along. Ah well, she sighed, it would change.
‘How lovely you look,’ Sidonie told her, biting her lower lip; trying to fight the sudden rush of emotion. She had felt the pull of her. Tenille smiled, as much to herself as the girl. She had just been indulging in a bout of self-commiseration. Obviously Sid didn’t see what she saw.
>
‘Thank you, darling,’ she replied graciously. ‘I think you look pretty terrific yourself.’ The denim brought out the intensity of her cobalt eyes, the reflected sparkle almost metallic.
‘Well, now that we’ve established ourselves as a mutual admiration society,’ Sidonie laughed: ‘I think we should split. Thea and Reine are flexible over time, but I don’t want to hold them up and it is past seven.’
‘All right. I’m ready. Just have to grab the crutches and turn out the lights.’
‘I’ll do that. You head for the door.’
The beer store was south of Bloor, on Spadina, easy to make before closing. By half past, they were buzzing to pass through security.
‘Tenille. How lovely to see you.’ Thea kissed her in greeting. ‘Come in. Come in. Reine will be out directly.’ She gave a loud holler just to speed her up. When she appeared she was looking sharp in a freshly ironed yellow blouse, sporting the collar with the points up. She had teamed this with duck pants and braided Brazilian sandals. She carried her bulk well and, although large, there was no doubt she was getting fitter.
They made a handsome couple in their contrasting styles. Thea had that mother-earth appearance which attracted nascent Lesbians who couldn’t turn to their own mother for guidance. In her they found the support and empathy they so desperately craved. She volunteered at a gay youth, drop-in centre at #519. She loved this work and willingly attended extra meetings when required. It was a natural extension of her mothering instincts, unable to indulge them on children of her own. Meeting Thea, Sidonie had reflected on how many different ways existed to express those innate nurturing feelings. Certainly more than being a heterosexual mother. The gay guys knew this well with their pampered pooches.
Tenille and Sidonie responded to Thea’s warmth and felt a wonderful repose settling upon them as they sank into the chesterfield’s cushions and gratefully accepted the offered drinks. Scully greeted Sidonie as vocally as ever and, it seemed, took to Tenille as an extension of her, demanding equal time for caresses and cuddles.
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