‘But how could you break up with him? He’s gorgeous. And well off. He owns a cattle property, for God’s sake.’
Alice hit straight to the heart of the matter. ‘He also has a son.’
Tammy stared at her, a deepening frown creasing her brow. ‘I know you’re not mad about kids, but I thought you weren’t going to let yourself worry about it. You wanted to date Seth anyway.’
‘Yeah, I did, and it was okay at first, but now he’s invited me to a party for his father’s birthday. A major family affair.’
‘And?’
‘I didn’t think I should go.’
‘Are you crazy, Alice?’
‘It’s sending out the wrong message. Makes it look as if we’re serious.’
Tammy was still frowning as she chewed this over. ‘So you really can’t get serious about Seth because he has a cute little kid?’
Alice knew it sounded pathetic, maybe even heartless and selfish. ‘I don’t really want to talk about it.’
Why not? a small voice suddenly whispered in her ear. What was the harm? Ben had been brave enough to tell Tammy that he’d been to jail and she hadn’t turned a hair.
Perhaps it was the balmy night and the scent of the candles, but as Alice played with the idea of offloading her worries, something felt different about this evening. When she looked at her friend with her aqua hair and her rows of ear studs, her ready smile and her willingness to talk about herself and her new boyfriend, Alice’s own reticence to spill seemed rather pointless and silly.
Here was someone who was not only willing, but also eager to listen to her. Someone who was used to listening to other people’s woes.
Quickly, before she lost her nerve, Alice said, ‘My hang-up about little kids started when I was ten, when my little sister Daisy died.’
And she found herself telling Tammy the whole story, about the accident and her parents, and going to the hospital with her grandmother, seeing fragile Daisy lying helpless every day for a week.
Tammy listened in silence, her eyes brimming with sympathy and even the shimmer of tears. ‘That’s so tough,’ she said softly, when Alice finished. ‘Oh, my God, you poor thing.’
‘But I should have got over it after all this time,’ Alice said.
This brought a slow, careful shrug from Tammy.
‘The thing is –’ Alice began, and then stopped as she realised she was on the brink of telling the rest – the part that she’d never let out before.
But now with Tammy, her fear of talking about this wasn’t half as horrible as the misery that had plagued her all weekend after she’d let Seth walk out of her life.
‘The thing is, I still feel guilty about what happened to my family.’
Tammy frowned. ‘But you were only a child. You weren’t even in the car.’
Alice swallowed the painful lump in her throat, then dived in again before she had time for second thoughts. ‘On the afternoon of the accident I had soccer practice. It was after school and I was supposed to get a lift home with our next-door neighbours – Robbie Graham and his mum.’ She smiled weakly. ‘I was a little snot about it. I didn’t want to go with them. Robbie was always teasing me, telling me I was hopeless at soccer, and I knew he was going to keep on teasing me all the way home.’
She gave a sad shake of her head. ‘I wouldn’t get in the car with him.’
Remembering it all, Alice felt her lips begin to tremble. She couldn’t go on.
‘What happened?’ Tammy asked gently. ‘I suppose the neighbour went home and told your parents, and your parents had to come and get you.’
Miserably, Alice nodded, remembering the cold afternoon and the other mum, Mrs Halliday, who’d kindly waited with her, remembered the sweet-and-sour lollipop. The phone call.
‘And on the way to get you, your parents had the accident,’ said Tammy.
This time, as Alice nodded, tears stung her eyes. She struggled not to cry as Tammy watched her, and she knew the poor girl was probably struggling to come up with an appropriate, warm and fuzzy response.
‘I think you should be telling this to Seth,’ was all her friend said.
This was so not what Alice had expected, and at the mere mention of Seth, she gasped. Within seconds she was sobbing and Tammy was kneeling beside her, with her arms around her, no doubt wondering what on earth she’d said wrong.
The next morning, Alice was hanging a pair of antique lanterns in her shop window when she saw Jackie Drummond and her husband coming out of the solicitor’s office across the road.
Balanced on a stepladder, Alice considered making a swift retreat, but Jackie had already seen her. She smiled and waved and Alice had no choice but to wave back, although she quickly returned her attention to her task. Out of the corner of her eye, though, she saw Jackie crossing the street, heading straight for her.
Okay, stay cool. Alice had no idea whether Seth had told his mother about their relationship status, and she still felt rather fragile after last night’s heart-to-heart with Tammy. It was all very well for Tammy to tell her she should talk to Seth, but Alice had already told him ‘goodbye’ and she knew he wouldn’t appreciate being messed around.
She felt ridiculously nervous as she slipped the lantern’s handle over a hook, then climbed down.
‘Hello there, Alice,’ Jackie Drummond called warmly as she entered the shop.
Alice climbed out of the window and managed to smile. ‘Hi, Jackie, how are you?’
‘To be honest, I’ve been better.’ Jackie fanned herself with a well-manicured hand, making her gold bracelet jangle as she rolled her eyes theatrically. ‘Has Seth told you about our latest drama?’
‘I don’t think so,’ Alice replied cautiously.
‘About the documents you found behind the mirror?’
Alice gulped, shook her head. But her stomach sank. Had the Drummonds had been visiting their solicitor because of the documents? Right from the start, she’d had a bad feeling about those papers, but when she’d heard nothing from Seth, she’d assumed all was okay. ‘Have they caused problems?’
‘Alice, you have no idea.’
‘Oh, dear.’ Alice was remembering the morning she’d taken the back off the mirror. If only she’d left those documents safely in place instead of racing straight out to Ruthven Downs. She would never have met Seth or Charlie, and she could have saved herself and Seth and the entire Drummond family several truckloads of trouble.
‘I’m so sorry,’ she said.
‘Oh, it’s not your fault, Alice.’
Jackie gave another dramatic eye-roll. ‘Can you believe it? I’m up to my eyes in planning this party and now Hugh is insisting that we have a family meeting. A Drummond summit – on the night before the party.’
Alice glanced through the doorway to the footpath across the street. There was no sign of Jackie’s husband.
It shouldn’t have been possible to feel more miserable than she had over the last few days, but Alice was a past master at feeling guilty, and she felt utterly wretched now.
‘I hope it’s not going to spoil his birthday,’ she said.
Jackie let out a noisy sigh. ‘So do I, my dear, so do I. For a while there, I thought Hugh was going to call the whole thing off.’
Stepping closer, she gave Alice’s hand a reassuring pat. ‘I like that colour on you. It’s one of those shades of brown that only redheads look good in.’
Alice blinked, thrown by the sudden change of subject.
‘At any rate, the party’s still going ahead,’ Jackie said next. ‘And despite all this fuss and carry-on, I’m determined to make sure it’s a lovely evening.’ To Alice’s surprise, she actually beamed. ‘We’re really thrilled that you will be there with Seth.’
Oh, God. Alice opened her mouth, ready to set Jackie straight, and then swiftly shut it. Obviously, Seth hadn’t said anything about their breakup to his mother, and Alice had already caused enough trouble with the documents. She wasn’t prepared to burst this particular b
ubble for Jackie. She managed to smile, but it was a rather self-conscious effort.
Fortunately, Jackie didn’t seem to notice. ‘Thank heavens you and Seth aren’t giving me any headaches,’ she said. ‘I’ve almost given up on the rest of my family. Even my daughter, Flora, has problems. She was supposed to bring her new boyfriend from Melbourne, but something’s come up at the last minute. He’s an opera singer, rather in demand, and Flora will have to come home on her own. It’s so disappointing. We were really looking forward to meeting him. Such a pity.’
With another warm smile for Alice, Jackie reached out again and squeezed her hand. ‘Anyway, enough of my moaning. It’s lovely to see you again, Alice. And there’s always a bright side. You wouldn’t have met Seth if it hadn’t been for these documents.’
Again, Alice opened her mouth to explain the truth, but then she saw the emotion in the woman’s eyes. Until now she’d assumed that Seth’s mother was very confident and together, but this morning she sensed a surprising vulnerability in Jackie Drummond, and she couldn’t bear to cause the woman any further distress.
Then Seth’s father rounded the shop’s doorway carrying two delicious-smelling brown paper bags, and his smile of greeting for Alice was jovial.
‘There’s a new pie shop in town,’ he said with a grin, as soon as he’d greeted her. ‘And I couldn’t resist giving them a taste test.’ To his wife, he said, ‘What say we take these down by the lake?’
Jackie gave a resigned sigh. ‘There goes my chance for a nice salad and coffee in Tolga on the way home.’
‘I don’t think you’ll be sorry,’ Alice assured her. ‘Ben’s pies are fab.’
‘Well, I’ll take your word for it.’ Jackie was smiling again as she linked her arm through her husband’s. ‘See you Friday night, Alice.’
30
Seth was on the back verandah, staring out into the darkness, when the phone rang. It was the way he’d spent several nights lately, sunk in moody thoughts rather than relaxing in front of the TV.
He’d been scraping the bottom of the emotional barrel these past few days. Letting Alice go had been hard, a huge kick in the guts, way harder than he’d expected. And now there was a family drama on the boil. A problem with his grandfather’s will, raising unsettling questions about who the hell was supposed to own the property. Crazily scary stuff that had his parents well and truly stirred.
For all these reasons, Seth assumed the phone call was from one of the oldies, probably his mum, checking again that he was okay. She was worrying about his future.
Seth was worried too, even though the legal situation had been checked out with their family solicitors and there was no argument – Ruthven Downs belonged to Seth’s father. The problem was, that hadn’t eased his dad’s conscience.
It was all rather bizarre, though. Who else but his dad could have run Ruthven Downs? And who else but Seth should take over? He couldn’t imagine that his artistic Aunt Deb would want the responsibility of a cattle property, and his cousin Xavier was even less likely to be interested.
Seth could remember difficult school holidays, when Xavier had been sent up from the coast to visit them. His cousin had rejected all the usual activities on offer, like riding horses or quad bikes, or canoeing down the creek. He hadn’t even wanted to go swimming in the waterhole.
All Xavier had wanted to do was play Minecraft, but the Ruthven Downs internet connection had been dodgy back then, which had pissed the kid off no end.
For Xavier, Ruthven Downs wouldn’t be a prize, it would be more like a millstone around his neck, like going to gaol for life, with hard labour.
Seth, on the other hand, loved this life. He knew the property like the back of his hand and he loved the land, loved every aspect of working with cattle, whether he was helping to deliver a newborn calf or chasing down a wild bull through the scrub.
He enjoyed working with machinery too, apart from that recent hassle with the bore pump. He was happy fencing, grading fire-breaks and building new stockyards. More recently, he’d become fascinated by the science behind breeding quality beef cattle.
He didn’t know what he’d do if he couldn’t be a cattleman. It would be like being told he could never walk again.
So . . . as he drew the phone from his pocket, he steeled himself for more bad news from one of his parents.
The caller ID, however, showed an entirely unexpected name.
Alice Miller.
Seth’s breathing snagged. Why would Alice be calling?
She was the last person he wanted to talk to. He was still too damn angry. And sad. He’d experienced harrowing moments lately when letting this girl go had felt even worse than the prospect of losing Ruthven Downs.
The phone had almost rung out when he tapped on the screen to receive her call. He swallowed, ordered himself to stay calm.
‘Hi, Seth.’
Fuck. Just the sound of her voice made him want her. He waited a beat before he answered. ‘Alice, what’s up?’
‘I – I just needed to talk.’ She sounded nervous. ‘I saw your mother today. She called in at the shop.’
‘Hell.’ Seth grimaced. He could just imagine how awkward the conversation must have been. ‘Sorry, I haven’t spoken to her yet,’ he said. ‘Not about us. Something else has come up, a bit of family drama.’
‘Yes, so I gathered. Jackie said it’s to do with those documents I took out to your place.’
‘Yeah.’ Seth scratched the back of his neck, a dead giveaway that he was nervous, too. He took three paces to the edge of the deck, stared out into the night-dark bush. ‘My mother’s got herself all worked up, stressing about these documents, plus the party, and now my sister’s boyfriend can’t come, so she’s upset about that as well. I was waiting till the air cleared before I told her our decision.’
‘Yes, I realised Jackie had no idea about – us. And I didn’t want to cause more hassles for her – for any of you, actually. That’s why I’m ringing.’
‘Okay,’ he said. Then, cautiously, ‘Sounds like you have a plan.’
‘Well, I guess I mainly wanted to sound you out – see if you thought it might be better to hold off –’
Seth frowned. ‘Hold off telling my family that we’ve broken up?’
‘Well, yes.’ Her voice sounded shaky. ‘But only if you think it’s a good idea. I don’t want to stuff you around, Seth, but if you thought it might help the situation –’
‘Hold off till after the party?’
‘It’s just a thought.’
Seth spun one-eighty degrees, looked back into his light-filled house, saw the living area strewn with Charlie’s toys, the dirty pots and plates waiting to be loaded into the dishwasher. This mess was his life, the life of a single father, not the life of a responsibility-free bachelor, the life Alice required.
‘So are you saying you’d be prepared to come to the party as if we were still a couple?’
She gave a self-conscious laugh. ‘We’ve done it once before.’
Seth sighed. ‘Yeah.’ At the time it had seemed a smart idea to fool Joanna in order to protect Charlie. Unfortunately he’d also fooled himself. He’d started to think that maybe –
With Alice there were no maybes.
‘Look, I’m not pushing for this, Seth. I know it wouldn’t be comfortable for either of us, but Jackie seemed really on edge.’
‘She is. She’s super-stressed.’ Seth had first become aware of this two evenings ago when he’d arrived back at the homestead close on sunset, having just finished vaccinating a pen of poddy calves that he’d recently separated from their mothers. Both his parents had cornered him, looking deadly serious and wanting to ‘talk’.
‘I think it’s a good idea,’ he told Alice now. ‘There’s enough going on here without us adding to the drama.’
‘Okay.’
Okay. One little word.
He hadn’t realised how tense he’d been until he felt his shoulders relax. He pictured Alice, curled in one o
f those armchairs in her flat, her auburn hair aflame in the lamplight. He would have given anything to be there again, helping her out of her clothes and –
‘It seems I started this in the first place when I found the envelope,’ she said. ‘So I’d like to help.’
That was his problem. Alice wasn’t just a beautiful and sexy girl. At heart she was also thoughtful and generous, wanting to help.
‘Actually, if it’s not stretching the friendship too far, there is something else you could help with on Thursday –’ Seth stopped. ‘Whoops, sorry, no, scratch that.’
‘What? What were you going to say?’
He shook his head, annoyed by his faux pas. He’d been on the brink of asking Alice if she could mind Charlie, keep him out of his hair, while they had this family conference on Thursday night. It was going to be tricky, combining dinner and a meeting at the homestead with trying to get Charlie to sleep.
He’d already lined up a friend of a friend to babysit for the night of the party. Asking that girl to come on Thursday night as well would be stretching things.
He wasn’t sure who he could turn to. He’d kept himself socially isolated this past year and it had paid off. He had the fatherhood thing pretty well sorted. The downside was he no longer had a wide circle of people he could call on at short notice.
Still, that was his problem, not Alice’s.
‘Sorry,’ he said. ‘It was a slip. For a moment there I forgot Charlie’s a no-go zone for you.’
This was met by silence and then a heavy sigh on the other end of the line.
Reality check.
‘It’s okay,’ Seth said, wanting to let her down gently. ‘As I said, scratch that.’
‘Okay. Sorry.’
‘I’ll see you here for the party on Friday. Around six? Okay?’
‘Yes.’ Her voice was very subdued now. ‘See you then.’
Seth disconnected, let out a heavy breath, went inside. He tossed Charlie’s toys into the basket, filled the dishwasher with the dirty dishes, threw some of his and Charlie’s clothes into the washing machine, snagged a beer from the fridge and took it back onto the deck.
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