by Amy Cross
Opening the first page cautiously, I find that nothing has changed. In fact, as I flick through, I find nothing more than the same old notes about rabbits and birds. I guess the scratching sound could have been something underneath the book, maybe another cockroach, but when I get to the back of the notebook I see to my shock that some new lines of handwritten text have been added:
Come back. I'm here waiting for you. Rita, I'm so alone.
Staring at the words, I realize that the handwriting is familiar. I reach under my bed and pull out one of the plastic containers, and after a moment I find the paperback copy of The Hobbit that Shannon gave me for my tenth birthday. With trembling hands and a sense of anticipation in my chest, I open the book to the dedication that she scribbled in the front, and I immediately realize that I was right.
I look back at the notebook and read the new lines again:
Come back. I'm here waiting for you. Rita, I'm so alone.
I don't know how, but it's Shannon's handwriting!
***
Stumbling out of the trailer into the moonlit clearing, I hurry around the side with the notebook in my hand and I then stop for a moment, staring up into the dark forest. My heart is pounding and I keep telling myself that this is impossible, but at the same time I can't deny what's right in front of me.
I glance down at the notebook and see that the text is still there. I'm not the kind of person who lets herself overreact to things, not usually, but I know that this is her writing, and “here” can only mean the shack where I found the notebook. Despite my misgivings, I take a cautious step forward.
“Where are you off to?” a voice asks.
Turning, I see that Scottie is – as ever – sitting on the steps of his trailer. Taking a drag on his cigarette, he blows smoke into the night air.
“Not thinking of going for a trek, are you?” he continues. “Please, Rita, tell me you're not that dumb.”
“Do you see this?” I ask, hurrying over to him and holding the notebook open. “That text right there, I'm not imagining it, am I?”
“Come back,” he reads with a frown. “I'm here waiting for you? Rita, I'm so... What the hell's that supposed to mean?”
“It means she's...” I pause, before realizing that he'd just think I'm insane. “Never mind,” I add, taking a step back. “You wouldn't understand. No-one could, I'm the only one. Shannon's reaching out to me, because we were always so close, and she knows I'd never let her down.”
“Huh?” He scratches the back of his neck. “You're starting to freak me out, girl. That line wasn't in there when I took a look before. What did you do, add it yourself?”
“No,” I reply, shaking my head, “she added it. It's a message!”
“Rita -”
“Don't worry about it,” I continue, taking another step back, “you don't need to care. I just had to make sure I wasn't flipping out and hallucinating.” With that, I turn and hurry past Mom's trailer, heading toward the edge of the forest.
“Hey, wait!” Scottie calls out, hurrying after me. “Rita, what the hell do you think you're doing?”
“I don't think I'm doing anything,” I reply, making my way between the first of the trees before stopping suddenly. Looking down at my feet in the darkness, I realize it's too late to turn back even if I changed my mind. I'm already back in. Turning, I see the shock in Scottie's eyes. “I have to go find her,” I tell him, holding the notebook up. “I let myself get talked out of it once before, but this proves it. She's waiting for me, and I know exactly where to find her.”
“Jesus Christ,” he says after a moment, “you've lost your mind. There are things in that forest that you don't understand.”
“I'll be back soon,” I continue. “No-one's gonna miss me overnight, but if they do, just say I went for a walk or something. Don't worry, this is a good thing! I'm finally going to find my sister!”
Turning and making my way deeper into the forest, I refuse to look back, even when Scottie continues to call my name. For a guy who sits watching the trees so much, he sure doesn't seem to know much about what's really going on here. The ground rises up steeply as I increase my pace, and my calves are starting to burn a little, but I keep pushing on until I'm too far into the forest to be able to hear Scottie anymore and then finally I stop and lean against a tree for a moment, waiting to catch my breath.
It's too dark to see much, but I can just about make out the trees ahead. I'm fairly sure I can find my way back to that observation hut, and once I'm there I should be able to get in touch with Shannon again. She'll either send me another message or...
Or she'll be there, waiting for me.
After all these years, I'll finally get to see her again!
Unable to hold back, I start running through the forest.
“Shannon!” I call out. “Shannon, it's me! I'm coming!”
III
By the time I reach the shack, I can feel in my heart that Shannon is close. Stopping at the edge of the clearing, I realize my heart is pounding double-time in my chest, and I'm almost overwhelmed by a sense of absolute and pure joy. She's here, I know she is, she's waiting for me and...
As I take a few steps closer, I realize that a faint glow seems to be filling the clearing, bringing a haze of warmth even in the middle of the night. Everything seems so calm and perfect, and the only sounds are my feet crunching across the leaves, my tense breath, and – I swear – the sound of my heart thumping against the inside of my ribs. I feel as if I'm in some kind of fairytale, except that I know without a shadow of a doubt that every moment of this experience is real.
“Shannon?” I call out as I reach the shack. I turn and look around, but there's no sign of anyone. “Shannon, where are you? I know you're here, I...”
With tears streaming down my face, I make my way around the shack before stopping and looking around once again. I can't explain the sensation in my chest, but I have the same feeling I remember from all those years ago, from when Shannon and I used to hang out together in the trailer. Maybe it's because we're sister, or maybe it's just something to do with the fact that we've always been close, but I know she's here
And then, just as a hint of doubt is stating to creep into my chest, I hear the shack's door creaking open.
I remain completely still, not even daring to turn and look, even as I hear footsteps coming closer. Tears are flooding my eyes and rolling down my cheeks, and I feel as if I might faint at any moment.
Around me, the entire forest has fallen silent.
“Rita?”
I open my mouth to reply, but no words come out. Slowly, I turn and see her.
“Rita,” she says with a smile, holding her arms out.
“Shannon!” Racing toward her, I wrap myself around her and hug her tighter than I've ever hugged anyone in my life.
“Careful there,” she says, kissing the top of my head. “What are you trying to do, squeeze me to death?”
“Where have you been?” I ask, unable to let go. I feel as if now I've found her again, I have to keep hold of her forever and ever.
“I've been right here,” she tells me. “I've been waiting for you to come and find me.”
Breathing deep, I realize she still smells exactly the same way I remember. She's even wearing that same old cheap cologne she used to save up for each Christmas.
“I looked everywhere for you,” I say finally, my voice trembling with tears. “I swear to God, even took a job at that BarraBuy store 'cause I thought it might help, and I tried to get the police to pay more attention, and I tracked down Glenda, and... I did everything!”
“Why didn't you just come here?” she asks.
“I don't know, it's like...” Pausing for a moment, I realize it's insane that for two whole years I lived right next to the forest without ever once coming in to search for her. “I don't know,” I continue, “it's like there was this block in my mind, and then over the past few days the block has been lifted. I came through the other night, I
came right to this shack, but I didn't see any sign of you.”
“I could tell someone had been here,” she replies, stepping back and smiling at me. She has tears in her eyes, too. “It took a while before I realized it was you,” she adds, “but once I did... I knew I had to find some way to reach out to you, to make you realize where you could find me.”
“I looked everywhere,” I continue, sniffing back more tears. “You have to believe me...”
“I do,” she says, before leaning closer and kissing the top of my head again. Putting an arm around my shoulder, she starts to lead me around the side of the shack. “I guess this must seem pretty strange to you, Rita, and I'm not sure I can explain it all to you, at least not right away.”
“Have you been here for two whole years?” I ask.
“Believe it or not, I have.”
“But -”
“Patience,” she adds, pulling me closer as we reach the rear of the shack. Stopping for a moment, she seems to be content just staring out at the dark forest, and I can't help noticing that there's a peaceful smile on her face. “It's beautiful, isn't it? I know that horrible road is still out there, running around the edge of this place, but so long as we're in here...” Her voice trails off for a moment, and finally she turns to me. “I swear, this must be the most peaceful place in the world. No extra noises, no distractions, just the chance to exist without interference.”
I wait for her to continue, but she seems lost in her own thoughts.
“You told me never to come into the forest,” I point out.
She smiles. “Well, that shows how smart I am, doesn't it?”
“But what have you been doing all this time?” I ask. “How could you have spent two years in here without once -”
“Later.”
“I just don't understand why -”
“Later, Rita.” She puts a finger to her lips, shushing me. “I know you must have a million questions, but I can't answer them all at once. Isn't it just nice to be together again? I'll tell you everything, I just need to get it straight in my head first.” Taking my hand, she starts to lead me across the clearing. “This whole forest is ours,” she explains. “No-one ever comes, not anymore, so it can be our little hiding place.”
“We should go and tell Mom,” I reply. “She's going to be so shocked when I bring you back.”
“Back?”
“To the trailer park!”
She stops and turns to me, while still holding my hand. “Why would I go back, Rita? There's nothing for me there. Am I supposed to live in that trailer again with our drunk, whoring mother, and spend my time either drinking with a bunch of straggly friends or working a dead-end job?” She pauses, and I can see that she finds the idea faintly amusing. “I resisted this place for so long,” she continues finally, “but once I embraced it, I realize that everything here in the forest is perfect. All the worries of the outside world just float away. Can't you feel it already?”
“I feel...”
Staring at her, I can't shake the fear that something doesn't seem quite right. Sure, she looks like Shannon, and she sounds and smells like her, and clearly it actually is her but still...
The old Shannon would never suggest staying here in a shack in the middle of the forest.
“I've changed,” she says suddenly.
I open my mouth to reply, but I'm not sure what to say.
“It's okay,” she continues, “I can tell I've disappointed you. You thought I'd be exactly the same as before, and we'd pick up from the same place. It's been two years, though, and I've been alone for all that time. It's only natural that I've come up with a few new ideas. To be honest, I even hesitated when I realized I could call you here. I was worried that you wouldn't like me anymore and -”
“I love you!” I shout, stepping forward and hugging her again. “You have no idea how much I missed you!”
“I missed you too,” she replies, “but you know, I'm not the only one who's changed. You're different too.”
“I'm still a dumb kid,” I tell her.
“No, you're not.” She gently pushes me back so she can look into my eyes. “I can't believe how much you've changed in just two years, Rita. You seem more grown-up, more independent. There's sadness in your eyes, too. I'm sorry I couldn't contact you sooner, but you'll understand later, I swear.”
“But why -”
“Not now,” she adds, leaning closer and kissing my forehead. After a moment she takes a step back, and she frowns as if she's confused by something. “You're not going to settle until I explain the whole thing, are you?” she asks.
“I have so many questions.”
“Sit,” she replies, suddenly getting down onto her knees and then shifting until she's sitting cross-legged. I sit facing her, and I can tell that there's a lot on her mind. “I have to start at the beginning,” she continues. “It won't make sense otherwise, and even then, you might struggle. This forest is a very special place, Rita, and remarkable things have happened here. It took me a while to get plugged into the way of life here, but I didn't have anyone to guide me, whereas you've got me. I hope I can help you just a little.”
“But -”
“Take my hands.”
She holds her hands out toward me, and I do as I'm told.
“Do you believe in fairytales?” she asks.
“I...” Pausing, I realize that there's a strange look in her eyes, an expression I've never seen on her face before. “I used to read them as a kid, I guess.”
“It's okay,” she continues, “this is going to take a lot of getting used to, but I really have to start at the beginning. Don't be scared, it'll all come together after a while. You're at the start of a wonderful journey, Rita, and everything you've ever wanted in life is waiting for you.”
“Okay,” I reply, even though I genuinely have no idea what she's going to tell me.
She pauses for a moment. “Once upon a time,” she says finally, “there was a vast and beautiful forest, and in this forest there lived a beautiful young girl...”
IV
“Once upon a time there was a vast and beautiful forest, and in this forest there lived a beautiful young girl whose name has been lost in the mists of time. We can call her Alice if you like, since that's what people often call little girls in stories.
“Alice was the daughter of a very rich man who owned all the land in the area. This was hundreds of years ago, when America was still in turmoil and different factions were fighting to gain control. Alice's father had come from Europe with his family and he had enough money behind him to establish a degree of order. He arranged a small standing army, and that meant that no-one tried to steal his land, and within just a few years he'd established a nice little empire right here. He hoped to one day pass that empire on to his only child, but as the years went past he began to realize that Alice only cared about one thing.
“The forest.
“She spent all her time out here, playing games she made up in her own head. She had no friends, at least not real friends, but that didn't matter because she was able to invent the most amazing creatures. These days she'd probably get hauled off to a child therapist, but back then her flights of fantasy were indulged. She wasn't mad, though. She knew full well that these creatures were just in her imagination, and she was perfectly capable of separating reality from fantasy. It's just that she truly liked playing with the people in her head, and she had such a vast forest to explore. I mean, come on, you can't really blame her, can you?
“But then Alice got sick, and back then there weren't many doctors around. Alice's father paid for a man to come from a distant town, and the man immediately got to work examining the girl. She was bed-bound by this point, suffering from a terrible fever that left her rambling on about the most horrific things. There were blotches on her skin, too, and over the weeks that followed she began to break out in thick, weltering sores. The doctor came up with a new diagnosis every couple of days, but of course none of his c
ures worked. Eventually he suggested moving Alice to a nearby town, but the girl screamed when she heard they were planning to remove her from the forest, so they relented.
“Eventually the doctor was sent packing, but by this point he'd fallen in love with Alice so he refused to leave. He was driven from the forest so he set up a camp at the edge, hoping to wait for news that she was well again. There are different accounts of what happened to him, some say he wasted away and died while others say Alice's father had him killed, but either way he was gone soon enough.
“And still Alice suffered. They say that as the sores spread across her body, vast open wounds began to seep blood that soaked her bedsheets nightly. Eventually even her body-fat began to leak out, and the poor little thing would scream and scream for hours on end. Other doctors were called to examine her, but still no-one could work out precisely what was wrong. One doctor suggested she might have come into contact with something poisonous in the forest, but a thorough search was carried out and nothing was found. Alice's parents became increasingly dejected, and there was even talk of putting the child out of her misery. It's said that her parents even began to draw up a plan that they hoped would end her suffering.
“Before this plan could be put into action, however, an old woman arrived at the edge of the forest. She immediately sent word to Alice's father that she knew how to bring the girl back to health, although she said he would have to pay a price in return. Weary by now and tired of the doctors' failure, Alice's father could barely bring himself to meet with the old woman, but it's said that within just a few minutes he had been completely won over, declaring her to be the only person who could save his daughter. You see, the old woman had promised that Alice could be saved, but the caveat was that the cure would only work within the confines of the forest. The poor girl's parents accepted at once, begging the old woman to act and not really listening to the rest of the deal. To her credit, the old woman went to great lengths to warn them about the consequences, but finally she realized there was nothing left to do except restore Alice to health.