by Kumar, Lisa
“Gah, no! Stop twisting what I say to suit your purposes. I know you’re upset with me, but apologizing is impossible when you are like this.”
“When I’m like what?” she asked, her voice razor sharp with precision.
A panicked look played over his face. “No, I mean when we’re like this.”
She didn’t answer. Her fingers kept drumming.
He cursed under his breath before he stalked up to her. As he framed her face between strong hands in a grip that surprisingly didn’t hurt, his gaze speared her to stay silent. “I’m sorry. Truly. You’re not making this easy, are you?”
She couldn’t break away, couldn’t glance away. But should she make it easy? If she did, she’d have to turn her back on the past, not blaming him or this world for her mixed-up childhood with all its therapies and medications. Plus, his continued secrecy wore thin.
He pulled her toward him, enclosing her within his arms. She stood stiff until the warmth of his body began to infuse hers. He didn’t push her for anything else. Her cloak of anger lightened and slipped through the cracks he’d caused. She couldn’t stay mad, not while he was like this. Not while he held her.
He buried his face in her hair, whispering, “I don't want to argue.”
Her arms slid around his waist of their own volition, but she didn’t have the heart to remove them, feeling like they’d always belonged there. “Neither do I. But this isn’t over.”
She rubbed her face against his shoulder, luxuriating in the sensation of being near him again. Her mind went on autopilot. Though she should be furious at him, all she could think of was being close to him. The past slid away, and she didn’t try to stop it. Anger would come again soon enough. Someday, she’d share the trials of her childhood and teenage years with him but not now. Hopefully, he wouldn’t remember the line about him ruining her life that she threw at him during their fight. She wanted to tell him on her own terms. She just had to figure out what those were.
He feathered kisses over her forehead and cheeks. “While I admit to not liking your words, they struck too close to home, I believe, to be entirely false. That is a failing I and my people have to deal with, not you.” Relian sighed, touching his forehead to hers. “But I want to make one thing clear. I don’t see you as a child. I would never treat a child the way I treat you. A courtship is between two consenting adults.”
“Courtship?” Cal shuttered, breaking out of her pleasant haze.
He nodded decisively. “It’s our way, and I wished to honor you with it.”
“I guess that was what you’d been doing.” Why was the idea so surprising? After all, he sought to bond with her. But that was it. Even though she might be nothing but a mission to him, he made her feel special and not like the burden she probably was.
“Our ways are different, but the intent should be the same. Don’t the men in your home country court those they favor above all others, with the intent to deepen a possible relationship?”
“Well, yes.” She didn’t add that “courting” was far different back home, but she supposed the intent was the same if the man were truly serious about the girl.
“Then I could do no less than the men back in your land.”
Cal almost sputtered. Oh yes, he could. If only he knew how much less he had tried than the guys she’d dated. Those boys had been primarily interested in one thing and flitted elsewhere when they didn’t get what they wanted.
Relian continued, either oblivious to her strong response or ignoring it. “Our courtship was to be a time of enlightenment. I wanted each of us to see the other as we are, as we see ourselves. Not as two people brought together through a binding bracelet, though that knowledge is enough stress. I didn’t want to add further strain to our tentative relationship. It’s not my intent to keep secrets. I merely want to reveal them at the proper junction, as not to damage the progress we’ve made. As happened but days ago. Do you see my reasoning?”
Cal hated to admit it, but she did. “I do see your point, even though I don’t like this continued secrecy and it needs to stop.” She paused. “This courtship is not just a duty to you, is it?”
Understanding lit his face. “This is something that took root in your mind recently? I’d like to say you hurt me with such misgivings, but I can’t blame you after that earlier debacle. You are and will never be a duty. I daresay it would’ve been easier for me had you been. As for the other, there’re things of which you’re still unaware. I don’t deny that, and I still hold you’re not ready to hear them.” Seeing her ready to protest, he admitted, “Or maybe I’m not ready to tell you. Whatever the reason, that is my choice. Your choice will come in how you react when you’re informed of these things, for you will be, and likely soon. I want a few more weeks with you before other factors come into play that might influence you unduly. Do you think you can accept that?”
How could she deny such a reasonable request, especially when it came from those sculpted lips of his? While some part of her wanted to sulk like a child, she had to meet him part way. She had no other choice, because he wouldn’t tell her anything until he was ready. “Yes. But I will only give you a few weeks, at most. Than all bets are due.”
His smile spread over his face like sunlight breaking free from the cloud cover. “Good, that’s enough.” He tangled his hands in her hair. “All I ask is that you enjoy these next few weeks. Some knowledge bears a heavy price, and I seek to spare you from it until you’ve finished building a rapport with Eria and its people. I hope I’m correct in saying we’ve been building an affinity between ourselves and that any cracks it acquired in the past week are well underway to being repaired.”
Cal reached up and pulled his head down. If she had to wait, she’d spend that time in the most pleasurable way possible.
He laughed softly against her mouth. “I believe that answers my question.” Pulling away, he cupped her face between his hands. “Now I have a question of my own.”
Her stomach dropped. The serious look in his eyes didn’t bode well if he asked what she thought he might.
“What did you mean that I had ruined your life ever since you were a child?”
She swallowed past the lump in her throat as her mind grabbed at any reason for delay she could feed him. “Just as you’re not ready to talk about certain matters, neither am I. So I ask for the same grace that you’ve requested from me.”
He sighed. “It’s bitter medicine to have my words turned back on me, though I understand your hesitation. We both fear the reality of past and present on our growing relationship. But like you, I won’t forget you owe me an explanation.”
***
Cal swung her head back and forth in stunned denial. The room’s plaster and stone walls spun around sickeningly, the cream and silver colors swirling together in a most unwelcome manner. Waiting for Talion’s study to right itself, she willed away the nausea that followed upon the heels of dizziness.
Her gaze sought out Relian, where he stood next her chair. “No. It’s not possible.” An immortal life? What else was she going to find out? Well, she’d wished for revelation when they’d made up a few days ago, and now it appeared to be flooding toward her in biblical proportions.
Talion, sitting in a corner where he could easily watch the proceedings in the comfort of an exquisitely upholstered chair, questioned gently, “Are elves supposed to be possible in your world?”
Maggie tossed him a look of challenge and answered for her. “Yes, some people believe in them, particularly in other countries than the one we’re from.”
Talion shifted in his chair languidly. “It’s nice to know we’re remembered.”
Maggie snickered. “Yes, as the Wee Folk.” Her thumb and pointer finger approximated a height of a few inches. “A little, itty-bitty people.” She sniggered again. “Or sometimes you’re stuck in a tree, baking cookies. My personal favorite: snowed-in at the North Pole, making Santa’s toys.”
Talion merely lifted a brow before he
looked at his son. “This, Relian, is why we left mankind a long time ago.”
Relian sighed. “Am I going to have to separate you two in order to continue this conversation? I knew it wasn’t a good idea, Father, when you suggested attending along with Maggie. How Kenhel and Avrin came to be here, I don’t know.”
Kenhel, seated in a chair by Avrin, offered a frown that would’ve been convincing if not for the twinkle in his eyes. “I’m here to offer you emotional support, remember?”
Relian’s face was implacable. “Ah yes, how could I forget?”
Avrin shot him a smile. “I’m here to offer Lady Maggie any support I can in this trying time.”
Talion rested his chin on his steepled hands, looking thoughtfully at Avrin. “And who will support you, Avrin, in your laborious duty?”
Avrin favored Talion with a tranquil smile, not replying. He didn’t need to. Cal knew what came next and gave a silent groan. It was a sound she swore Relian echoed through their growing bond. Now that she understood how the bond functioned, she was learning not only to identify which emotions she leaked to him but also to discern the ones from him.
“I’m sure he’ll use whatever support he’s utilized for the last millennia as an advisor to you, King Tut.”
Cal choked, somewhere between laughing and wanting to bang her head against the wall. Though nobody but she and Maggie probably recognized the reference, calling the king a “you should be dead in your grave” old wasn’t the way to go. Talion should be able to deduce the name didn’t flatter him.
The king shook his head in a pitying way and gazed at Maggie through lowered lids. “My dear child, my name is Talion. Whoever thought humans were such forgetful creatures? As you’re young in years, I suppose your mind hasn’t had time to fully grow. A tutor shall have to assist you in the rudimentary basics.”
Maggie’s face became blotchy red, and her breath quickened in pace. Cal froze, thinking her friend would spout out a comeback.
After a few moments, Maggie replied in a carefully controlled voice, “Your Majesty, I assure you nothing is wrong with my mind, only with other people’s asinine observations.”
Relian snapped, though Cal sensed no true anger. “Out, everyone out!”
No one moved, and Talion reclined deeper into his chair. “Out?” he drawled. “Last time I looked, this was my study, as was the rest of the palace.”
Relian inclined his head, sarcasm written in his every move. “Be that as it may, I didn’t intend this to become a comedic spectacle put on for your collective amusement.” He raked his gaze over the assembled males, daring any to argue.
Talion stared drolly at his son. “I think we can control ourselves if you go on.”
A sardonic smile lifted the corners of Relian’s lips, and Cal willed her thudding heart to cease its rapid tempo. She wished they were alone so she could kiss him. As if aware of her eyes upon him and the direction of her thoughts, he turned and fixed her with an ardent stare. She’d have to mask her emotions and thoughts better if she were going to keep much private from him. A strong bolt of desire not her own ran through her, and she nearly gasped out loud. It seemed someone else felt like sharing.
Relian's smile hadn’t diminished, though it was more of a smirk now. “Cal, I believe you were expressing your disbelief when we last left off.”
She narrowed her eyes. “Yes, thank you, I was.” Curiosity soon overtook annoyance. “How?” The thread of command in her voice wouldn’t fool anyone, but hopefully it would bring about the desired response—a straight one. Little hope of that happening, though.
“We can bestow immortality on those whom we will.”
Cal glanced at Maggie, who rolled her eyes. He’d given the requisite vague answer. The very voice of God could come down from the heavens demanding an answer, and an elf would still dissemble, finding the most circuitous reply to give.
“How?” both she and Maggie prompted.
This time Avrin spoke. “Through bonds of love, romantic or otherwise, it does not matter.”
“Ugh, what does that mean?” Maggie glared at Avrin, who offered her a grin.
Kenhel fielded the question, apparently wanting his turn to play with the humans. “It means love can forge a bond that can grant immortality. It’s not lightly done.”
“No, it is not,” Relian agreed. “The giving of immortality cannot be forced by either party, to give or receive. The process won’t work unless true love is found on both sides, as there’s no way to fool the magic that controls the bond.”
Cal rubbed her forehead. “A good way to ensure it’s not taken advantage of or used wrongly. But you call it a bond. Is it like the one between us now?”
“The bond we share as of now won’t grant you immortality.”
“As of now?”
Relian placed a hand on her shoulder. “If we complete the bond, it will effect changes upon you—mainly immortality. Everything else arises out of that fact.”
What? “I thought you said it was voluntary—the immortality thing. Why would I have to become like you if I have a choice?”
He drew circles on her shoulder. “You’ll not become like me. You stand to gain a long life, not become an elf. There is no magic that exists that could make you one.”
Relief flowed over her. She liked being human and didn’t relish any transformation negating that fact.
He let that sink in before continuing. “For a mortal, accepting the fulfillment of the completion bond is seen as the concurrent acceptance of immortality. Both of these are intertwined and can’t be separated in the immortal person—one cannot exist without the other. Our very nature allows this whole process to occur. Thus, immortality is granted to the human partner through the bond.”
“So I won’t die?” Cal’s voice wavered. Death had always been a given. How could it no longer exist for her if she bonded with him? This did explain why Relian never seemed overly concerned about her mortality, though.
Relian gave her an odd smile. “Not of old age. That’s not to say immortals can’t die. We do, just not of old age—at least not directly.”
“Huh?” Maggie uttered, which Cal matched with a “Come again?”
Relian nodded to his father, who spoke. “Like all things, we can and do die. Age-related illness may not take us but the ages can. Untold years can take a toll on anyone’s mind. When that happens and it becomes too painful to endure, we give up our lives.”
She remained silent, for what words of comfort could she give? Somewhere in the background, Maggie’s voice said, “Sounds suspiciously like suicide.”
Cal would’ve agreed if her own thoughts weren’t holding her hostage. She now realized with clear recollection the hints and glimpses the elves gave her. The people here didn’t equate immortality with eternal happiness or light. Conversations and emotions too often turned sour when she broached the subject of elvin lives. It was a bittersweet ending to learn that death, too, came for them. But how? How does one give up life?
As if Relian sensed her question, he seated himself on the divan next to her, taking her hand in his. She was sometimes still amazed at how well he read her. While he couldn’t read her mind, the emotions behind those thoughts were up for grabs if she didn’t guard them well.
“There are some who seek it out in a more violent manner, such as in war, but most prefer the peaceful way—slowing down respiration and heart rate until the body shuts down.”
Her mind spun. How in the world did they bring about the mechanics to achieve death? She dreaded to hear anymore, though. There’d be plenty of time to find out if she did stay and bond with Relian. It seemed all paths lead to him, and she couldn’t imagine her life without him.
Her mind screeched to a halt. She couldn’t imagine her life without him? Was Maggie right? Was she crazy about him? Had she passed “crazy,” and now waded into “permanently and deeply”? It was a sobering thought. Sure, she’d dated and liked some guys well enough, but nothing more. None had ever ma
de it past lukewarm.
“Cal? Cal? Are you okay?” Maggie’s voice floated through her consciousness.
Cal jumped, caught unaware. “What? I’m sorry.” Her heart pounded much too fast for her voice to sound normal.
Maggie clucked her tongue. “We’ve been trying to get your attention for the last half-minute or so. You had Relian panicking. I thought he was going to shoot down the hall to fetch a doctor.”
Turning to Relian, Cal was startled to see him kneeling next to her and the truth of Maggie’s words became clear. Though he glared at her friend for the descriptive account she gave, his cheeks had lost all color and something greater than worry lurked in his eyes.
She gave him a weak smile. “I’m fine. I didn’t mean to concern you.”
He squeezed her hand. “As long as you’re fine, all is well.”
How could she resist him? The blue of his eyes burned into her, warming every crevice. They gazed at each other until Maggie’s words drew them apart.
“The whole immortality thing for mortals—wouldn’t that upset some kind of mythical universal balance or something?”
Talion gave a hint of a smile. “Ah, but not everyone would choose to live through eternity, and to choose to do so, one has to be offered the chance first. There’re not so many mortals being offered the opportunity as to cause any imbalance.”
“Yeah, considering there are only two mortals here to begin with, I wouldn’t think so.” Maggie’s tone was dry.
Avrin looked at Talion. “But Lady Maggie’s words do call attention to an important factor between our worlds. Balance.”
Talion nodded. “Symbiosis—it’s a delicate thing. The balance has been unsettled. Both our realities are in danger. But what’s the cause? Who can say which draws more heavily, the host or the parasite? In this case, one cannot determine who is the host and who the parasite or if they are equal in measure.”
Maggie shot Talion a guarded look. “I thought you would say the human world.”
He smirked. “As much as I’d like to say that, I don’t have any true answers and, as such, cannot in all fairness lay the blame there.”