by Mia Kenney
We’re so close I can feel his hot breath in my hair. As usual he’s cool, calm, and collective. But standing so close to him I can hear the quickness in his breathing. His rough and calloused fingers tilt my chin up and he forces me to look at him.
“I’m so sorry Romeo,” I swallow hard and wish I had a glass of water. The stress of having all of them together is too much for me. I need to make a decision.
“They’re all my brothers,” I choke out. Tears brim my eyes and I know once they begin falling they’ll never stop.
He looks surprised and relieved.
“Jetty is the oldest,” I say and tilt my head in his direction. “Don’t worry about him. He always looks mad as hell. He was born with a scowl on his face.” I continue to the rest of my brothers, introducing Mako, Pike, and Rip. Nobody says a word. They all do that man chin lift thing to each other like it’s some secret code for something I know nothing about. I turn my attention back to Romeo.
“Romeo,” my voice trembles and my eyes burn. “I’m sorry. But I can’t be with you. I’m staying here with my family.” Before he can say anything I turn and leave. My brothers spread out, making an opening for me to walk away.
24
Romeo
“You can stay here until we figure things out.” Pike tosses a pillow and thin blanket onto the cot. “Let the tap run for a few minutes before drinking the water. It’s been a long time since anyone stayed in this cabin.”
It’s hot as balls and the chance this place is air conditioned is zilch. I thought my days of being cooked alive in a field were over when I left the SEALs. I never would have thought Colorado would be so fuckin’ hot and dry. At least in Vegas I have central air.
Pike hasn’t brought up anything about Kat leaving me. I know she didn’t mean it though. Whatever she’s hiding from me doesn’t matter anymore. Fuck, she doesn’t even need to tell me. I don’t care what it is. I just need her back in my life. I want to wake up every morning to her soft body against mine. I never planned on having a woman in my life but I had never met the perfect one until Kat showed up.
Now she’s got me thinking about my future. Somehow I need to get some time alone with her. Tell her I don’t care what her secrets are. I love her. That’s it. I love her and I need her.
She’s got some serious trust issues to work out, no doubt because of that asshole father of hers, but we can work through it. SEALs don’t give up and I’ll always have her back.
I’ll tell her anything she wants to know. I saw the questions in her eyes when I told her about my sister and niece. I played it like it was no big deal. Kat has no idea my niece is fatherless because I killed her dad.
Hell, after I drop that bombshell she may not want to be with me. I have so much blood on my hands. Four tours in the Middle East does that. My entire life I’ve had a strong sense of justice for those who can’t stand up for themselves. Sometimes the bad guys are so evil they need to be eliminated from society and I have no guilt for doing it. The way I look at it is that I’ve saved countless innocent lives by ending the lives of others.
“Thanks, man. I really appreciate it. You know, I didn’t expect your offer to stay. I’m kind of surprised the four of you didn’t try to kick my ass and throw me off your property.” I kick off my boots and walk out to the front porch. There are two rickety old chairs so I plop myself down. The door creaks open and I look up to see Pike rubbing his jaw. After a moment he sits on the top step and starts pulling up the overgrown weeds in his reach.
The silence between us is awkward. By nature I’m not a big talker and there’s a lot going on in this family. Things I should be told by Kat and not her brother.
From experience I know most people love to talk about themselves so I give him some time to open up. It doesn’t take long.
“Nah. I’m closest in age to Kat. I got to spend more time with her than the others. Trust me, if any of us got the feeling you did anything to hurt her you’d already be dead and buried. My sister just said she wanted to stay with her family. Not necessarily that she never wanted to see your ugly face again.” He grins and stretches his arms over his head. He’s a big fucker. All of them are. And if I had to guess I’d say they all have some military training under their belts too.
“Did Kat ever talk about us?” Pike asks but doesn’t look at me. He pulls a couple more weeds and tosses them into a pile on the brick path. It’s cooler out here than in that oven of a cabin. There’s just enough shade from the old oak trees and a breeze is picking up. It’s a hot breeze but better than nothing.
“No. I just kind of assumed she didn’t have any siblings.” I know those must be hard words for him to hear but it’s the truth.
“She was just a kid when we all left,” Pike says. I thought she would be okay with our mom. It was always us boys dad hated. He didn’t bother with Kat.”
“Your dad had plans for Kat all along. You were just too young to realize it.” I want to tell him his father promised her to a drug king pin but decide to wait. He should be hearing that story from Kat, not a stranger like me.
“Where did you and your brothers go when you left?” I ask.
“Every year for four years one of us would go down to the recruiters office and enlist in the Marines. The recruiter loved us. We signed up on our birthday. Mom signed the waiver since we were only seventeen and the day after high school graduation we would each leave for boot camp. Every year for four years the Marine Corps got a new brother. Looking back I think it was her way of getting us away from our father.”
“Sounds like a smart woman. Kat told me she died, I’m sorry about that.” She never told me how her mother died, just that she believes it was her fault. I’m hoping Pike speaks up and tells me more. I know her well enough that she wouldn’t hurt anyone unless it was absolutely necessary and even then I’m not sure she would be capable of doing it. I know there’s no way she was involved with her mother’s death.
“We always believed Kat would be okay, he never seemed to pay her much attention. But when we found out about our mom Kat was already gone. Nobody could tell us anything. All these years go by and now she appears out of thin air.” Pike pauses like he’s thinking back in time and I’m hoping he tells me more. “You hungry?” He turns and asks me.
So much for finding out anything else. “I haven’t eaten since Vegas. I’m starving. But I get the impression those cabinets in there are empty and I don’t have any wheels to get into town for food.”
“Dinner here is every night at six o’clock. Come back to the main house with me and grab a bite. Rip’s a good cook. Doesn’t talk much but he can make shit on a shingle taste good.”
“Your sister may kill me,” I say with a grin.
“There are a lot of questions she needs to answer. Let’s just go eat and hang out. Give her time and don’t push her. She was always the smart one out of all of us. Always reading a book or painting something. I still have the painting she made for me when we were kids. It’s a giant water color canvas of our childhood dog hanging up at the house. Come see it. I promise you’ll laugh.”
It’s an offer I can’t refuse. Not only am I starving but this may be my only chance to convince Kat that I love her and she can trust me. My gut turns at the thought of her not being in my life.
25
Kat
Pike’s an asshole. All men are assholes. Jetty, Mako, and Rip won’t let me out of their sight. They’re hovering around me like I might sneak out and run away. I guess it hasn’t occurred to any of them that I’m smack dab in the middle of a ranch in bumble fuck Colorado with no money, no phone, and no place to go.
“Can’t you all just leave me alone for a little while? You’re like a bunch of fuckin’ leaches,” I beg but they just erupt with laughter.
“What’s so funny?” I ask.
Mako looks up from the potatoes he’s been peeling with Jetty. “You are. First, we haven’t heard from you in years. Mom died and you just disappeared. Like you fell off
the planet. Then you show up here looking like shit on a stick and haven’t told us anything about where you’ve been this whole time.” He grabs another potato, rinses it and begins the peeling process all over again. I never could have imagined my brothers having any culinary skills. Heck, they move around better in a kitchen than I ever have.
“Then some SEAL falls from the sky with a bright pink parachute. That guy’s got it bad for you. I feel sorry for him. You ran away from us and now you’re running away from him. He’s right. You’ve got some serious trust issues, Kat. And you think any of us are going to take our eyes off of you? You’re a fuckin’ escape artist. You’ve got the disappearing act down.”
Mako dices the potato and drops it into the stock pot of boiling water. I watch as he and Jetty finish peeling the ten pound bag in a matter of minutes. Rip walks over to the stove and sprinkles some salt into the water. He still hasn’t said anything to me. I remember him as always being the quiet one out of us kids but this is a little crazy.
“Yeah sis, Mako’s right. We’re not letting you get away this time. And I want to collect some intel on this Romeo of yours before he leaves. And how the hell did you find us?”
I knew it would only be a matter of time before one of them asked me this. I’m kind of surprised they didn’t ask me sooner.
“It’s called Google you idiots. There are four of you. I knew once I found one the others would be close by. But I didn’t expect you all to be living together.” The house is beautiful. The outside has the full wrap around porch you would expect an older home like this to have. By the looks of the chairs and side tables I noticed out there they must spend a lot of time sitting outside. And I didn’t miss the painting I gave Pike when we were kids. It’s a watercolor portrait of a pug. He was the best dog we ever had, even if dad hated him. Any man who could hate a pug is an asshole in my book. I can’t believe Pike has kept it all these years. My life may be screwed up but I lucked out in the big brother department.
There aren’t any neighbors to bother them and the main road is miles away. This place isn’t even visible from the highway. Yet Romeo came looking for me.
My heart sinks. I’m being a selfish bitch but I can’t help it. I’d rather walk away from him than have him find out what I did. The shame I carry from that day is all consuming. My life and the lives of my brothers would be so different if our mom was still alive. I hate my father for what he made me do. All these years later and he’s still making me lose someone I love. My hand brushes over my stomach and I wonder what my life will be like if I stay with Romeo. Only it’s not an option. If he ever discovers the truth he’ll hate me.
The guys wash and dry their hands at the farm sink like it’s a synchronized event. They’re kind of cute in their aprons even if they all have vulgar sayings on the front.
Now that I look I notice they’ve really put in a lot of time to keep this place up. If I had to guess this house is at least one hundred years old. No doubt these are the original wide plank pine floors with years of scratches and knots in each board. Lots of windows for natural light and a brick fireplace in the center of the kitchen. My brothers have done well and my heart swells with pride. I’m quickly reminded of how fucked up I am when Pike walks into the room with Romeo.
“Hey Kat,” he says in his deep sexy voice. I’m going to kill Pike for this.
“What are you doing here? I told you I want to live with my family,” I protest.
Romeo steps closer. I take two steps back. “Yeah, it’s good you want to live with your brothers. But you never said I had to leave.” His smile broadens, making his dimples look like they’re winking at me. I want to punch him and hug him all at once.
“They invited me to stay in the hunting cabin and Pike brought me as his guest to dinner. How could I refuse? It would be rude to turn down the offer.” He smiles ear to ear. Then he pulls out a chair and takes a seat at the table.
“Plus, I like his apron,” Romeo says and points to Jetty.
“Thanks, it’s one of my favorites,” Jetty says as he puffs out his chest to make the words more legible. The words “WILL GRILL FOR SEX” are stamped in block letters across the front. I want to get sick.
“So, what’s for dinner,” Romeo asks.
“We’ve got venison, mashed potatoes, asparagus, and salad.” They’re the first words I’ve heard Rip speak since I showed up.
“Yep, we hunt, catch, and grow all our own food here. Rip plans and prepares all our meals. The rest of us are just free help,” Jetty says as he sets the table.
Mako follows behind Jetty, pouring tall chilled glasses of iced tea. Not knowing how to help I sit down opposite from Romeo but refuse to make eye contact with him. “I can’t believe how domesticated you guys are. How did this happen? You were always so unruly and behaved like a bunch of wild animals from what I remember.”
“Ahh, little sister, we’re actually quite delightful,” Mako chimes in. “Think of us as multi talented. We can defend ourselves, each other, and our country. Blow shit up with a variety of weapons. And charm any woman to death. Even our own baby sister who ran away from us,” he says as he tops off my iced tea with a slice of lemon.
The words make me cringe and a new wave of guilt washes over me. So much has happened they don’t even know about. I look up and my eyes meet the heavy gaze of Romeo. He looks sad. I have the sudden urge to tell him everything and let the chips fall where they may. He’ll either accept me or hate me. But at some point I need to let go of my past to move forward. I need to trust him and my brothers. They’re the only family I have left.
Pike starts setting large serving bowls of hot food around the table. Everyone pulls up a chair, and it’s obvious my brothers all have their designated seats. “Dig in,” Jetty says as he scoops a steaming spoonful of mashed potatoes onto his plate. I watch in amazement as my brothers work the platters and serving utensils. This isn’t for show. This is how they live, taking care of each other.
“Eat up. I made your favorite for dessert,” Rip says and points to the end of the table.
“How did you remember?” I want to skip dinner and go straight to dessert. Pike holds up a tray of my all time favorite food. I haven’t had it since I was a kid.
“It’s moms chocolate chunk cookie recipe. Rip hasn’t made these since you went missing,” Pike says, smiling.
The tears start to come. I can’t help it. “I’m sorry I ran away and never looked for any of you until now, until I got myself into so much trouble I didn’t know where else to go. I’ve been so scared for so long that everyone would hate me.” I’m doing the ugly cry now. Everyone pushes their plates out of the way and leans in closer to me.
The warmth of someone’s hands holding onto mine gives me hope. There’s only one person in this room capable of that. I open my eyes and look up.
“Romeo,” I whisper. “I’m sorry for my lies. And for running away.”
He rubs his thumbs in little circles on both my wrists.
“You don’t need to tell me anything Kat. There’s nothing you could say that would change how I feel about you,” he says and then continues, “I just want you to trust me. I promise I’ll never let you down.” My heart swells and I believe every word.
“I need to tell the truth. I want to tell the truth. To all of you,” I babble out and meet the gaze of each of my brothers.
The kitchen is silent except for the sounds of my shame coming out in small bursts of tears and sniffles.
“Thank you Pike,” I say as he hands me some tissues.
“All of you will probably hate me after I tell you what happened to mom.”
I can’t bare to look up. I’m at the point of no return. Nothing I say now can be erased or taken back.
“I killed mom.”
The only thing I hear is Jetty’s heavy breathing. He leans into me and places a kiss on the top of my head.
“You didn’t kill mom. I don’t believe for one second you’re capable of such a thing,” Jetty
says and all my brothers agree.
“But I didn’t try to save her. He made me watch. Dad made me watch when he threw her overboard and into the water. He said it was an accident, that she had fallen over when a rogue wave hit the boat. But he lied to everyone,” I cry. That day is so vivid in my memory. The yellow t shirt and cut off shorts I was wearing. Mom in her floral print shirt and soft denim capris. Her hair was pulled back like usual in a loose ponytail, her drug store bought sunglasses perched on top of her head as she argued with my dad.
“I didn’t try to save her,” I sob. “He said he would throw me over too. I saved myself and watched her die.” I cry even harder now, the memory of that day turning into a nightmare for all my brothers to hear. “They were fighting about me. Dad made arrangements with Francisco Escobar. He promised Cisco he could have me as his wife in exchange for more territory to sell his drugs.”
“That fuckingmotherfuckersonofabitch,” Jetty shouts and slams his closed fist against the table. The silverware and glasses clang and vibrate from the force. “I should have known. None of this was your fault Kat. None of it. You were just a kid. You were only seventeen for fuck’s sake.” He’s pacing the room now and I’m still crying. Romeo’s thumbs are still tracing circles on my wrists. I want to wipe my face with a tissue but I can’t bring myself to let go of him. He must read my mind because he takes one hand and wipes away my tears.
“And our dad is dead too. Cisco told me he killed him right before Romeo and his men rescued me. Don’t you see? This entire time I’ve blamed myself for all of this death. After mom died I had to run. There was no way I was going to let dad sell me to Cisco. So I took off. I knew all of you were safe, even if you were overseas fighting a war. That was safer than having you back here. If Cisco could have gotten to me through any of you, he would have. I’ve been living in Vegas, doing small jobs as an artist. I don’t need much to survive.”