“What of her future? Should she not be prepared for the insurmountable tasks ahead of her?” Mona pushed at my mother, never relenting.
“If I do not hide her, take her away, do you think the darkness will ever allow her to live, to be able to do what has been asked of her?” Anger began to replace heartbreak as she stood taller, facing off with her sister.
“Fair point. But she will find out, and when she does, she will resent the lies. What good will she be when the doubt has been seeded within her. You take a dangerous chance sister, allowing the darkness a way in. She will doubt our kind, never fully trusting us.”
“She will be strong enough to know the difference.” My mother promised looking down at a bundle in her arms I hadn’t noticed it before.
“I pray you are right.” Mona faded taking the remnants of the memory with her.
The inky black once more suffused everything surrounding me. My aunt’s words echoed in my mind. I had been questioning everything. The darkness knew my weakness and had used it to warp how I perceived everything. I’d long ago accepted that what my mother had done, she’d done to protect me. It didn’t make it easier, knowing my whole life was lived under false pretenses, but it did help me to understand.
I’d found an answer in their words. Perhaps that is what Aberto wanted of me. I still didn’t understand where I was, or what he’d done, but I felt less burdened. The darkness couldn’t reach me here. But that peace would not last, it never did.
“Are you sure it is her?” Kennan’s voice pulled my attention to him standing off in the distance. He looked so real, so whole. The memory twisted in me like a red hot knife. He was gone. This was cruel.
“Guardian, since the dawn of time I’ve known it is her.” Aberto walked into the frame, standing a head taller than Kennan. “She has a destiny to fulfill, and you are holding her back from it.”
“How can you expect me to thrust her into a life of loss, of pain, if I can protect her from it?” Kennan’s words dripped with malice. He held no love for Aberto, it was something I’d known for a long time. That hate was ancient, borne of what Kennan felt to be betrayal upon the death of Cait.
“Would you deny her the destiny of her making? Would you let the world fall into insurmountable darkness to protect one being? You swore an oath, Guardian.” Aberto’s voice was even, unfeeling. I hated when he used that tone.
“I would,” Kennan swore. Those two words struck me. Memories of our arguments back at the Council, every fight leading up to the battle played out in my mind. He’d done everything in his power to keep me from harm, to change my mind, but it hadn’t been enough. I’d still flung myself headfirst into danger, into my destiny. I’d never be able to let the world perish for him. Perhaps that meant he loved me more, but I would never be able to survive knowing I’d done nothing to save the people that mattered the most.
“You do not deserve her love if you are not willing to allow her to be what she is meant to become. When the time comes, you must let her go, Guardian.” Aberto’s eyes saddened briefly as he looked into Kennan’s eyes.
“I don’t know that I can.”
“Then your selfishness will bring destruction upon this world.” Aberto faded away taking Kennan with him.
Ultimately, Kennan hadn’t been able to keep me from fulfilling the prophecy. No matter how hard he’d tried, he could not sway my decision. Destiny was a bitch that way, always pulling you in the direction that was meant to be. Sometimes I felt like every step I took, even those I’d taken leading away from my destiny, led me right back to the path that had been laid out before I’d ever taken my first breath.
I wanted the parade to end. Seeing Kennan had ripped open the wound once more. The gaping hole hadn’t begun to truly heal yet, and was once more left raw by the memories. Like everything with destiny, it was never easy.
“Izzy, we need you. You are the only one that can stop this.” Molly moved toward me. She looked as she had when we’d put her in stasis. This wasn’t a memory. This felt decidedly different.
“Molly?” I called out.
“Izzy, don’t give up on yourself. You are loved more than you know. That is what I went into the dreaming to tell you, to remind you that you weren’t alone. You never will be.”
“How are you here, Molly?”
“I wanted you to know. Aberto comes into the darkness sometimes to check on me, to see if I’m becoming more Revenant than Seer. He told me he’d put you under so we could talk. It was the only way I could tell you the truth of what is happening.”
“What do you mean?” I’d been so focused on myself, on fighting my own internal battle, it had escaped my notice everything was trying to tell me, warn me, about what was coming.
“The Revenants have a message.” Molly moved closer, causing my stomach to drop. Her bloodied face came within inches of mine as she raised a charred hand to my face. “See what is coming.”
Terror ripped through me as the Revenants moved around in my mind. Each one chanted their warnings over and over again; none of them making much sense until I felt what Molly felt. Conall had showed me what would become of him, but there was so much more. Everyone I cared for was washed away by the darkness.
Looking deeper into their thoughts, I found something that couldn’t be true. No matter that each one had the same memories, the same fear, at the center of the darkness was a glowing red ember, seeking to destroy everyone, and everything, in its path. As I looked closer, the truth of what I saw terrified me. The glowing ember—the thing that would rain down destruction upon the world—was me.
The darkness had told me I’d be the catalyst, the downfall of the world. The truth echoed through the Revenants memories, vision after vision of me bringing pure destruction, laughing as they all fell. One by one the Revenants began to fade as I was brought back to Molly.
“Why didn’t you warn anyone?” Panic ripped through me. I was a danger, a bomb waiting to explode.
“Because that isn’t the only thing I have to show you. There are two versions of this tale, Izzy. Be calm and see the truth.” Molly lifted her other hand to my face plunging me back into memories, only this time things were less clear.
I stood in the middle of a room, surrounded by familiar faces, yet none of them were entirely clear. I couldn’t seem to focus, to tell what they wanted.
“You will complete this task for us, Seer.” A voice muttered from the background.
“No.” My reply came out with a blast of blue fire. Every entity in my vicinity dropped to the ground writhing in pain. “This ends now.”
“How did you fight it?” One of the voices gritted out through the pain.
“I’m not alone.” My voice held strong as I pushed the fire out further, causing everyone around me to scream. Their pain echoed through my mind as I was brought back to Molly.
“You are not alone in this, Izzy. Never forget that. When the darkness begins to take hold, reach out. It is a heavy burden to carry alone, and it isn’t one that you must. Don’t be stubborn on this one. The world does not solely rest upon your shoulders. If it does, then we are all doomed.” With a half-smile Molly began to fade. “Don’t forget, you’re a badass of epic proportions.”
“I’m going to save you, Molly!” I promised as she faded completely.
My eyes shot open as reality crashed back in, bringing Aberto into focus. The darkness melted away with each breath, a strange peace settling in my bones. For the first time since I’d left the void, I felt strong. No longer would I be stumbling through the dark blind and directionless. Molly had given me what I needed to move forward, but first I had to learn to fight the darkness, and I knew just the Old One to help.
“Kiss me.” I looked Aberto dead in the eyes, waiting for him to deny my request.
Instead, he leaned forward and gently pressed his lips to mine.
“No, not like that. Do it like you mean it, like this is the last chance you will ever have to kiss me,” I challenged.
Before I could take another breath, his lips devoured mine. He pulled me flush against his hard body as his hands knotted in my hair, holding me in place. Electricity zipped between us as he consumed me. I’d never been kissed like this in my life, and I was sure I’d never feel like this again. I fell into it, whole heartedly embracing every ounce of passion. It wasn’t long before the darkness surfaced.
You are a disgrace. Kennan is still fresh in the grave. How can you say you loved him?
Still the kiss went on, every ounce of repressed desire, every moment of longing I’d seen in Aberto’s eyes was thrown into this moment. I pulled him closer, shutting the darkness out, and pulling Aberto in. I’d been fighting my attraction to him for so long it had become inherent, but now I fought a war of a different kind. I fought to release all of the unspoken emotions, the unbidden longing.
But it wouldn’t work. No matter how much I wanted the darkness to take hold, I’d come to terms with my life with Kennan. I knew I loved him, and he’d loved me. Kissing Aberto didn’t change that. We’d have to find another way to make the darkness take hold.
Breaking the kiss, I stared into Aberto’s eyes; his eyes seeking answers in my own as he struggled to even his breathing.
“Well, that didn’t work,” I mumbled, disentangling myself from Aberto.
“I found it worked quite well,” Aberto replied, raising one brow.
“That isn’t what I meant.” I struggled not to smile as Aberto did his best to regain composure.
“Care to explain what that was about?”
“I saw Molly, she gave me some serious stuff to think about. I want to work on this whole conquering the darkness within thing,” I mumbled, trying to steady myself.
“So, the first place you chose to start was there?” Aberto seemed a bit perturbed, and I could understand it, but it had worked before.
“It worked the last time we tried it.” I looked down at my feet as Aberto moved towards me, closing the distance I’d put between us.
His finger tilted my chin up, forcing me to look him in the eyes. “The next time you kiss me, you will want to do it for the sake of kissing me.” His eyes locked with mine as my stomach dropped. There was a promise in his eyes, one I was nowhere close to being ready to see.
“Do you have any other ideas?” I squeaked.
“I do. Let us get some air.” Aberto stepped away from me and through the door before I could even ask what he thought we could try.
Outside, the sun shone down hot upon the desert. The air wasn’t the same as my beloved southern heat. It didn’t have the whole wet-blanket-smacking-you-in-the-face-the-minute-you-stepped-outside sort of feel. This air felt thin. The heat was not a palpable thing. This must be what everyone kept calling a dry heat. I could see the appeal.
“Where are we going this time?” I asked, following him like a bedraggled puppy.
“Here will do.” Aberto closed the distance between us, raising his hands to either side of my head.
I hadn’t even recovered from my first attempt at summoning the darkness when visions exploded behind my eyes. Memories that felt real, but weren’t my own. With each vision, the darkness inside of me woke a little more. It fed off of the pain and suffering Aberto was forcing me to see. These were his memories. Countless years of loss, of pain, all drained into my mind. The darkness expanded, consuming the sorrow as though it were a delicious meal.
“Stop,” I begged Aberto, the sorrow becoming unbearable. Still he pressed on. No longer did I see the acts; all I was given were emotions. Gut wrenching, heartbreaking, unbearable pain clouded my vision until I snapped and the darkness took hold.
“More, Old One. I delight in the pain, the misery of your failures.” My voice was no longer my own. Something was different, though. I felt the darkness as it controlled me, using my body as some sort of strange puppet. I could feel it as it took hold of my mind and my mouth, but I was still there. I supposed I’d taken the place of the darkness within me. Buried deep. I had no clue how to regain control, but I’d be damned if I didn’t try.
“Izzy, fight. Regain control of your being.” Aberto didn’t talk to the darkness, ignored its very presence, which seemed to anger it.
“She isn’t strong enough to fight me. She will never be able to defeat me, Old One. Your soul within her does nothing to fight what I am. My soul was in line for the throne of hell. Do you really believe yours is strong enough to pull me down?” Laughter ripped from my mouth.
“Remember what Molly said, Izzy.” Aberto stared into my eyes, searching for me. I could see him. I wanted to shout, to tell him I was still there, but panic began to well within me. What if I couldn’t fight the darkness and regain control. “REMEMBER!” Aberto’s shout was like a slap to the face.
My focus became razor sharp as I replayed the vision Molly had shown me. This was what I would become; I’d have a front row seat to the destruction, and know it was happening, if I didn’t fight it now. I wasn’t alone. Aberto was here with me. He was my safety net. I could be strong enough.
I struggled, pushing my bright blue light outward, fighting to make myself expand in the murky darkness that surrounded me. Breath by breath, I regained control of myself. A small eternity passing by as the battle raged on. I would beat this. The alternative was too horrible to contemplate. The world would not burn because of me. Not today. Not ever. The darkness could try again in another millennia, but for now, I would win.
“Izzy?” Aberto grasped my shoulders as the darkness faded to the background once more.
“Yeah, it’s me.” I panted, the effort to overtake my own body was more intense than I’d anticipated, but at least I’d been able to do it. “Again.”
“No, you will rest, and we will attempt this again later.” Aberto started to head back toward the cabin, but I refused to move.
“Again. I don’t have time to waste. If you’ve seen what Molly showed me, then you know.” Molly was depending on me, and my stubbornness to get us through this debacle. There was no way I was about to lose this argument. Time was slipping by, and the more it melted away, the closer we got to the darkness taking hold completely.
“Izzy, there is still time.” Aberto pleaded with me as though he were trying to reason with an unruly child. His tone sounded condescending and exhausted simultaneously.
“No, there isn’t.” I paused, waiting to see if he would move. “Aberto, I don’t want to go back there until I have this under control. If I can’t actively repress this, then I won’t be around those I love. I will destroy them.”
“You are overreacting.” Aberto was growing frustrated. I could see it in the way he clenched and unclenched his jaw.
“Come here, I will show you.” His reaction set my teeth on edge. I wasn’t trying to be some drama queen throwing a hissy fit, but if that is what it took, I would do it. Maybe Molly hadn’t given Aberto the truth of why she’d needed to see me. So I would show him. He would see, and then he would understand. Hopefully.
“What?” He asked, his voice saturated with exasperation.
“I’m going to show you what Molly showed me. Maybe then you will understand why I am, as you call it, overreacting.” Anger bubbled within me. The darkness was stirring.
He doesn’t believe you, Izzy.
“Oh shut it. I’m done with you!” I shouted, silencing the darkness. I was done. It felt different, not like a conversation, but like I was completely in charge.
“Izzy?”
“Not you.” I really wished there was a light that went on over my head, or something, letting people know when the darkness and I were having a conversation. “But come here, I will show you everything she showed me, and then I will let you decide what to do next.” Aberto took three long strides towards me, closing the gap. I stood on my tiptoes to reach his face. Placing my hands on either side of his ancient eyes, I stared into them as I focused on everything I’d seen. I opened my mind to him and prayed he would see what I needed him to see.
&
nbsp; When all had played out, I dropped my arms and dropped back down to the souls of my feet. Searching his eyes, I looked for an answer, something that would tell me whether or not he’d seen it. His eyes stared back, haunted.
“Again,” I whispered. This time, he didn’t hesitate.
From that moment on every moment was spent pushing me to my limits. Day after day passed. Each one spent with Aberto filling me with memories of long ago pain. The darkness would uncoil within me, taking hold of my body, pushing me to the back, but with each attempt, the darkness grew weaker. Or perhaps I was growing stronger.
Now the darkness attempted to bait Aberto. It could feel itself losing the battle. It wouldn’t be able to contain me, to push me to the back and use me as it chose. I snapped myself back into place seconds after the darkness had taken hold. With little effort, I’d been able to expand myself so the darkness had no place to go except back to its refuge deep within me.
“Do you think I will ever be fully rid of it?” I wondered why I couldn’t push it out.
“I don’t believe you will. The way Uriel spoke, this will be with you all of your days.” Aberto lifted a hand to my cheek as my face fell. I guess if I lived a shorter life, that wouldn’t be such a bad thing.
“Aberto, I think I am ready to go back.”
“If that is what you wish, we will return tomorrow. Tonight, we will celebrate your victory over the darkness.”
You will never be victorious. The darkness whispered, only it was sounding more like a bitter old hag than the terrifying entity I’d once feared.
Aberto pulled my hands, leading me out toward the bluff that overlooked the little shack. I’d seen him standing up there from time to time when I’d get too demanding. If he believed I needed a break, he would disappear, only to reappear up on the bluff as a speck against the giant rock. I wouldn’t follow, knowing each time he had to force the darkness to take hold, he also had to relive memories he’d been trying to forget.
See How She Awakens Page 9