Right before I’d woken up, he’d done something, something I didn’t remember until now.
“I abhor the darkness within you, the taint upon your soul. Despite this, I shall grant you a boon. You may never die, you may never pass through the veil to the other side, but I will take from you the suffering which plagues your heart. The memories will remain. This is my gift of mercy, ask nothing more.” Uriel’s last words echoed through my mind as Aberto shook my arm.
“Are you well?” Aberto’s concerned eyes pierced my own.
“I am,” I replied, allowing the memories to pour over me. I had to know.
Kennan’s death played out in my mind anew. I still felt the pain, the loss as his life was snuffed out in an instant. The grief had somehow subsided. The all-consuming loneliness had been replaced with something more. I’d found peace. Somewhere in the course of everything that had transpired, my soul had accepted the truth. Kennan was gone.
If I kept living my life as I had, I wouldn’t be able to survive. Kennan died so I could live. He died to give me the chance to live a full life. And I would. I was going to live the crap out of this life for him. I had a hell of a long time to live it.
“Aberto, it is me. I promise you.” I lifted my hand to his cheek, hoping he could see I was still here.
“Does the grief not weigh heavy upon you?” Aberto moved closer.
“I miss him. I will every day for the rest of my very long life, but no, it no longer weighs heavy upon me.” Tears pooled in my eyes, relief washing away the remnants of grief as the words wrung the last of my sadness out.
“IZZY!” a shout from somewhere above bounced off of the walls. I knew that voice. The tears threatening to spill forth seconds before came rushing out. There was no stopping the flood as Molly descended the stairs, running straight for me.
Struggling, I stood, bracing for the impact of her body as she threw herself at me. Her arms wrapped tightly as she sobbed.
“Molly, I’m okay.” I pulled back, looking her over. There was no sign that anything had ever been wrong with her. She looked perfectly whole.
“No, you most certainly are not. Do you realize you’ve been dead for two months?” Molly pulled back, anger replacing her relief.
“I’m sorry?” I wasn’t quite sure what to say. As far as I knew, I wasn’t supposed to be able to die to begin with. It wasn’t like I knew what had happened. “Wait, for two months? Why wasn’t there a ceremony? Why was my body left down here in this damp cellar?”
“We tried,” Ian coughed from the stairs. I hadn’t even noticed him descending. “It didn’t work.”
“Um, come again?” Panicked I started to look over my body for scorch marks.
“The flames engulfed you, but then something weird happened. The flames changed. They turned purple, encasing you in a shield before snuffing themselves out.” Ian paused scratching his head as he looked anywhere but at me. “We tried a few times, none of them worked.”
“A few times?” my voice came out a shrill squeak as I imagined them trying, and retrying, to burn my body. “A few times?” Anger replaced the fear, and I could feel the fire burning within me. My temper was different now. More than just my mortality had changed. The darkness.
Panic flooded me as visions of the office came back. I’d absorbed the darkness into myself completely. It was as much a part of me now as the light. The dark room was closing in around me, I needed air, room to breathe.
“Perhaps we should adjourn to a more suitable location?” Aberto rose to his feet, his head almost brushing the ceiling as he did.
“Please.” I was still propped against the stone slab that I’d awoken upon. I had no clue where we were.
Aberto held out his hand to me, and for once I did not hesitate. I clung on to him for dear life.
He paused, looking down into my eyes. It was hard to read his expression in the dark, but something told me he had a lot of questions, and I wouldn’t be able to escape them.
Ian and Molly climbed the stone steps ahead of us. As we reached the top of the stairs, I finally figured out where I was. Much to my surprise, this was the Council headquarters. Though looking a little worse for the wear in a few places, it was still standing.
Mona was waiting at the top of the steps, tears pouring down her cheeks. Releasing Aberto’s hand, I moved toward my aunt, hugging her tightly the moment my arms could fully engulf her. We stayed that way, clinging to one another as we both tried to adjust to the fact I hadn’t died. Well, I was adjusting to the fact I could never die. I don’t think I’d ever fully comprehended that before. Damali had found some sort of loophole to kill me with. I still needed to find out what happened.
I pulled out of my aunt’s embrace slowly, reluctant to leave her warmth. Somewhere between the time I’d climbed the steps and finished hugging my aunt, the hall had filled with Seers and Guardians. Some that fell under the Council, and others that followed the Order. They were all there, intermingled, and I was struck by the rightness of it. This is what they were meant for, not to be divided, not to bicker about their roles, but to fight the good fight, side by side.
I wondered if they had been one entity, if the darkness ever would’ve had a chance to weasel its way in. Perhaps that was the great Divine plan in splitting them into two factions, so that not all would be pulled under and tainted. Or perhaps there was no plan at all, just utter chaos. After Uriel had made it so blatantly clear we were on our own, I really didn’t hold much faith the heavens had any sort of plan.
My body felt weak under the gaze of so many. There were countless unspoken words written on each face. Questions, fears, hopes—they all bombarded me. I searched the crowd for Aberto. I needed help to take this all in. In truth, I was terrified. I wasn’t sure what they wanted from me, what they expected I could do.
“Um, is there somewhere we can go?” I said, finally finding Aberto among the mass of people.
“The Seer will speak when she has rested.” Aberto’s voice boomed through the crowd as he ushered me in front of him towards the office.
Dread pulled me to a stop. I didn’t want to go back into that room. Darkness had fully taken me there. I’d been stabbed in that room. My breathing hitched as I looked for an escape, any direction but that.
“Be calm. No harm will come to you.” Aberto was using his stupid compassionate voice on me, like I was a scared animal. Okay, so maybe it was fair, but it riled me, which spurred me into action. I hated when he used that tone.
Clenching my teeth, I stepped through the doors of the office. Aside from the scorched carpet and a boarded up window, not much seemed to be amiss.
One by one, my friends entered the room.
“I am happy you have recovered,” Conall whispered as he walked passed, as if I’d just had a minor cold.
“Can someone please tell me what happened? How did I die? And what happened to Damali?” I looked around the room, waiting for someone—anyone—to tell me.
“The blade was made of an ancient stone in which there was a curse. Not to kill, but to send the soul into the chasm,” Eleanor murmured from behind a stack of books strewn across the desk. I smiled, finding her there felt right somehow. Surrounded by countless books, Eleanor was in her element. Of course, she’d be the one to know what had happened to me.
“What exactly is the chasm? Oh, and how did it work on me? I thought I wasn’t supposed to be able to die before? I mean, I know I’m not now. Uriel pretty much told me that.” I couldn’t seem to shut-up. My mouth just kept working as everyone’s expressions slowly changed. There it was, the same look Aberto had given me.
“Okay, listen. I get it. I’m acting all weird and like my old self. Uriel did something to me. I think he felt guilty, or sorry for me, or something. I don’t know. But he put some sort of angel whammy on me before shoving me back to the only place I’m permitted to exist. Well, according to him. I can’t go to heaven or hell, so I’m stuck here for all eternity, and so he took away the oppressive
grief. Not to say I’m not still sad, but I can’t do that anymore. Live every last day barely keeping my head above water. Oh, and I absorbed the darkness. So there is that.” Word vomit poured from my mouth, an unstoppable stream of information I wanted to be rid of. There were more important things on the line. Like how did I die, and most importantly, how did Damali die?
“There will be time to discuss all that Izzy has just revealed, but perhaps we should help her to understand what has happened these past months in her absence.” Mona motioned for us to sit.
I was pretty sure I’d burnt this couch to a crisp, but maybe they’d had a spare lying around somewhere. I lowered myself onto the chair as everyone moved about the room, dragging chairs so we all sat in what might as well be a group therapy circle.
A laugh bubbled up inside of me as I thought about it. Seers and Guardians Anonymous. Inappropriate. Squash that thought down. At least when I’d been burdened by the unbearable grief and the taunting of the darkness, my mind hadn’t had time to inappropriately cope with situations. Pros of being grief stricken: no rampant thoughts, appropriate situational reactions, and general normalizing of behavior. Con of being back to myself: being back to myself.
Aberto tilted his head towards me in question. Shaking mine in return, I tried to focus.
“Can someone please explain to me what the chasm is?” I looked at Eleanor, knowing she was probably the one with the most information.
“The chasm is a place of great darkness. Much like the void, it can cause madness if one lingers there for too long. It is used to kill people, Izzy. When a soul is sent there, the body deteriorates, and then the soul moves on to another plane. Be it heaven or hell, they leave. Your body didn’t die, so you remained in the chasm,” Eleanor examined me. Perhaps I had gone a little mad in the darkness.
“It was really dark,” I responded, lamely. “So, Damali sent me there thinking I would die?”
“I believe she had been sending souls there in an attempt to use the bodies as vessels to be inhabited by darkness incarnate. When she used it on you, I think it was more out of desperation than any well thought out plan.” Eleanor’s face brought a smile to mine. I could see the thoughts actively flitting through her eyes. Her mind was racing in a thousand different directions at once.
“Why didn’t she just put darkness in them to coexist with the souls?” I asked.
“Izzy, most souls aren’t as strong as yours. Yours has been fortified through love and sacrifice a thousand times over. You’ve become something more than any of us will ever be,” Mona explained.
“So, because I’m a freak, I can contain darkness? But she tried to get me to put darkness into a Seer, right here in this office. She tried to make me infect someone.” The memory crawled across my skin, causing me to shiver. The smell of burnt flesh lingered in my nose as I thought of Francesca and how I’d let the darkness consume her.
“Loopholes. There are always loopholes. You were, for lack of a better term, infected by Sonneillon’s darkness. As such, you were part demon. Demons are able to possess humans, Seers, and Guardians alike,” Aberto supplied.
“Am,” I muttered.
“Pardon?” Confusion etched Aberto’s brow.
“I am part demon. It’s still there. It’s different now than it was, but it is still there.” Suddenly, my hands seemed very interesting. Okay, so in truth, I was afraid to look at the faces of the people I loved. I didn’t want to see revulsion or fear staring back.
“I don’t believe that to be true,” Eleanor piped up.
“I was there. I’m pretty sure I absorbed the darkness into me. My flames went all wonky, turning from red to blue then purple. If I’m not part demon, then what am I?”
“There was a line missing from the prophecy. We found it while trying to figure out why you weren’t burning in the funeral ceremony.” It should’ve bugged me that Eleanor was so flippant with the whole burning my body thing, but it didn’t.
“Of course there was a missing line.” If I had a nickel for every time there was something left out of the prophecy, I would be a rich woman. Okay, so I might only have like a dollar, but still. That’s quite a few nickels. “What does it say?”
“When the time dawns, the Seer will Awaken. She will reign as the balance incarnate all the days of the earth,” Eleanor read off of the page in her lap. Where had that paper come from? She was like a book ninja.
“So I’m the balance incarnate? What does that even mean?” I looked around the room, hoping someone had an answer.
“I believe you are two equal halves, dark and light,” Aberto supplied.
“Does that mean if the good guys are winning too much I’m going to stir up the darkness?” I really didn’t want to play both sides.
“No, it means you will be able to anticipate the darkness in ways we’ve never been able to before. The darkness always presses forth more on our plane than the light,” Mona answered.
“That’s because the light doesn’t care,” I grumbled. The memory of my conversation with Uriel left a bitter taste in my mouth.
“Or, perhaps the heavens have faith that we are strong enough to handle our own affairs. Did you not prevail?” Mona asked.
Anger flooded my veins as the words left her mouth. Had I prevailed? Was this really winning?
“His words were that he cared not for humanity. What was meant to come would come. Tell me, do you believe we must fall to the whims of fate, or are we capable of steering destiny on a course which we set? I, for one, am sick of being a pawn. This game will have no victor if it continues to play out according to these rules.” Anger roiled within me as I spoke.
“Um, Izzy, maybe take the anger down a smidge,” Molly whispered.
I looked around the room, a strange purple glow reflected off of everyone’s eyes. It finally dawned on me that the glow was coming from me. I’d gone all flamethrower again.
With a bit of concentration I was able to reign in my temper. The darkness had added some whammy to my anger. Every emotion I felt was ten times more potent now. Stupid prophecy. I wanted to go back to sleep. Could I be un-Awakened? Was that a thing?
“I’m sorry. Not for what I said, but for the whole flamey-anger thing.”
“I believe she is right.” Conall stepped away from his perch beside the mantle. “If we continue on this path we will never win. I grow weary of this fight. Something must change.”
An overwhelming din of noise followed Conall’s words as everyone erupted at once. Some in agreement, others in dissent. Seers and Guardians all talked at once, struggling to have their voices heard until one voice rose above the rest.
“SILENCE!” Molly shouted to the crowd. She’d climbed atop the desk at some point. She probably wouldn’t have been seen otherwise.
The room stilled as every face turned toward the source of the command.
“My entire life I’ve been bounced from one place to the next; never settling. First the lab, then the Council, then the Order. Enough is enough. Our world—our future—depends on us fixing what was broken. Somewhere along the way we lost our purpose. Petty arguments split us apart, breaking what should be a strong and united front into weaker factions. It is time to put an end to that. We must mend the ties that were broken, bridge the divide, and unite the two halves once more. Izzy is right, we are the last defense of humanity.” Molly stood staring out over the Seers and Guardians, her face a stony mask of resolve. She was truly frightening.
“What are you saying?” Mona asked.
“I’m saying it is time for the Council and the Order to be reunited. For us to come together and fight the ever pressing darkness together. A day will come when the darkness will resurface, it always does. When that day dawns, we need to be stronger, better than we were this time,” Molly replied.
“Who do you suggest lead?” Eleanor asked, leveling me with a gaze.
“Oh, no, not me. My ruling days are over. Besides, I’m part darkness now. I think that disqualifies me. Or
maybe the whole ‘me fulfilling the prophecy’ thing gives me the right to put in an early retirement from supreme leader.” I paused looking around the room. No one seemed to be amused by my joke. “I nominate Molly. She is empathetic, which means she will know the heart of every situation. She will have a better understanding of things than most anyone else would. Plus, she is young, so she will have time to unite the two halves and set a precedent for future generations to follow.” As the last of my words left my lips I looked up to find Molly staring at me, aghast. I smiled brightly, probably a little maniacally, at her.
“I un-nominate myself,” Molly shouted quickly.
“I think Izzy is right,” Mona supplied. It hadn’t occurred to me to give the position to my aunt. Rightfully, she had far more experience leading than Molly did, but she’d led the Order, which meant those that fell under the Council wouldn’t trust her to have their best interests at heart. Molly was the daughter of neither faction. She was the best choice. “All those in favor of Molly leading us into a new era?” Mona raised her hand looking around the room for a second.
She didn’t have to wait long. Hands shot up quickly around the room as Molly leveled me with a death stare. The last time I’d seen her that angry was when Ian had given her hair a makeover. Oh, how I missed the rainbow cheetah look.
“What say you?” Conall asked Molly.
She looked over to Ian to see both of his hands were raised, a huge smile plastered on his face. “I guess that means I accept.” Ian swept her off of the desk into a tight embrace.
“Shouldn’t we take a much larger vote, though?” Molly seemed uncertain.
“No, there were members of both factions present today to decide. In the days to come you will choose your own governing body. I suggest you do so wisely.” Mona smiled gently at Molly.
See How She Awakens Page 14