“Ready?” he asked.
With a giggle, I replied, “So ready!”
Being back with Hunter had been so amazing and emotional. When I was with him, I was almost able to forget everything. It was so nice to be happy again. To feel so alive. A part of me was scared to death the floor would fall out from under me at any moment. But knowing Hunter was by my side again, after so many years apart, helped to ease that fear. I knew now that we could face anything as long as we were together. It had been a long and hard lesson to learn, but I was so glad he had never given up hope and I had decided to try and live again.
As we walked around the side of the house, Hunter pointed out a few things. “Over there is a huge, fenced-in garden. I counted twenty raised flower beds.”
“Twenty!” I nearly shouted. “Can we go see it?”
He laughed. “After we eat. There’s an area back over behind the garden that’s pretty flat. You’ll have to take a look at it. I think it would make a great place for some beehives. We could easily make a pathway from the house, as well as a road, since I know you have to move hives sometimes.”
Lord, I nearly melted right there in the snow. To know he had thought about all of this made me love him even more.
Hunter pulled me along while I tried to look through the trees at the spot he was talking about. I ran into the back of him when he came to a sudden stop.
“Ooph.”
“You okay?” Hunter asked.
“Why did you staaap…”
My voice tailed off as I looked at the large white gazebo that stood only a few feet away from us. It was beautiful. White pieces of fabric hung all around the structure and blew in the breeze. A table sat in the middle holding beautiful place settings for two, along with a huge vase of flowers and candles in large votives. It was the most romantic thing I’d ever seen.
I slowly shook my head and whispered, “How…when did you do this?”
He looked down at the ground and sheepishly kicked at the snow before looking back at me. “I had a little help from Greer and Abby. Candace too.”
“Candace? She knew about this?”
“She made the lunch for us.”
“What? When?” I asked with a surprised laugh. “She’s at the café.”
“I planned it all a couple of days ago, before I left to go fishing.”
The most beautiful sense of warmth wrapped around my body and my heart…oh Lord, my heart nearly combusted. “Oh, Hunter.”
“There are two heat lamps in there, but if you get too cold, we can pull the curtains around and that should hold the heat in.”
“Wait…the gazebo. You built it, didn’t you?” I asked, walking toward it. “I remember this. That one night, up at the sky lodge when everyone went out, we stayed back and you asked me…you asked me—” I brought my hand up to my mouth, attempting not to cry as the memory flooded back and I realized what Hunter had done.
Hunter cleared his throat. “I asked you to describe to me the gazebo you wanted when we finally had our own house. We drew it out together. I kept that drawing and worked off it. Kyle helped me build it.”
Turning to face him, I let the tears fall freely. “But what if things hadn’t worked out and we didn’t—”
He put his finger to my mouth. “I won’t lie and say there weren’t times I thought it would never happen. I gave up on us a lot over the years, but a part of me always held onto the dream, Bella. The dream of us. When you love someone like I love you…” He shrugged. “Well, I don’t think it ever goes away. And I once made you a promise that my heart would always belong to you.”
I turned and stared at the gazebo. “And knowing what happened to me…it doesn’t change your mind about wanting to be with me?”
He looked stunned by my question. “I told you last night that it doesn’t change the way I feel about you, Bella. It fucking breaks my heart that I haven’t been there for you. There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you. I’ll stand by your side no matter what happens. I’d lay down my life if you asked me to.”
Hunter walked up to me and cupped my face in his hands, brushing wetness from my cheeks. “I hate seeing you cry. But when you do, I want to be the one who wipes your tears away. I don’t want to fight your fights, Bella. I never have. What I want to do is stand next to you and help you fight them.”
A sob slipped free as I reached for Hunter’s arms and held onto them. “I want that too. And I’m so sorry I pushed you away. I was so scared you would look at me differently.
“I won’t. I know this is two very different things, but I wasn’t exactly an angel while we were apart. Do you look at me differently?”
I shook my head. “Of course not.”
He smiled. “No matter how long it takes, Bella, I’m going to prove that what happened to you that day doesn’t change the way I feel about you. How much I love you. Desire you. The dream of spending our lives together, having kids, is still very real for me. I want that more than anything.”
My chest rose and fell as I struggled to keep my breathing even. “I want that too.”
“And if you ever try to push me away again, I’m pushing right back. Whatever it takes, I’m here for all of it. The good, the bad, the ugly, and the beautiful.”
I lifted my head and met his eyes. The love I saw in his gaze nearly left me breathless. “I won’t push you away. I promise you.”
His lips brushed softly against mine as he held me close. And in that moment, I knew with all my heart that the final piece of the wall I had built fell to the ground. Piece by piece, Hunter had restored me. Brought me back to life. Brought me back to the woman I was before I was raped. Oh, I knew I still had things to work through…but knowing Hunter was there beside me, I wasn’t afraid anymore.
Hunter
Bella shivered in my arms, and I wasn’t sure if it was from the cold or not. I drew back and looked down at her. “Let’s get you under those heat lamps and eat lunch, okay?”
A brilliant smile spread across her face, and I felt my chest tighten. I loved seeing her happy instead of crying. I’d seen enough sadness in those eyes of hers to last me a lifetime.
“I cannot believe you did all of this! It’s so beautiful!”
She glanced around, and I laughed, knowing she was looking for her friends. “Greer and Abby left right before we got here. There’s a back road that takes you out onto Ricker Road, so they took that one.”
Bella shook her head in disbelief. “That’s the road that runs along the flower farm.”
I nodded.
Bella placed her hand on her chest as she took everything in. “I’m going to have to do something special for them.”
Pulling her chair out, I leaned down and placed my mouth against her ear. “You already have, from what I’ve heard. Picnic baskets and planning romantic weddings.”
She turned her head and looked at me. Our lips were only inches apart. “I was only helping my friends.”
“And they’re returning the favor.” I quickly kissed her cheek, and made my way around the gazebo to close almost all of the drapes and trap in the warm air from the heaters. I sat down in my chair and noticed Jack had already positioned himself next to Bella. Another reason to love that dog.
“You still like lasagna, right?” I asked, taking the lid off one of the dishes. There was a small candle under the metal container to keep everything warm.
“Yes! I’m a fool for lasagna.”
“Greer told me Candace makes some of the best she’s ever had. Makes her own noodles.”
Bella licked her lips and took off her coat. The two heaters were doing their job keeping the area warm, so I took off mine, as well, and placed it on the back of my chair.
“Do you want me to dish up the salad?” Bella asked, lifting the lid on one bowl.
“Sure, and I’ll get the lasagna.”
We worked in silence while I placed a large piece of lasagna onto each of our plates. Bella put the salad in the bowls and took out two
pieces of garlic bread.
“Oh my gosh, did she make this bread as well?” Bella asked, her blue eyes wide with excitement.
“I believe so.”
She giggled and danced in her seat, causing Jack to look up and check on her.
“Jack sure seems to stick to you like glue,” I said, draping my napkin over my lap.
Bella glanced down at him and smiled. “Do you remember Thanksgiving night when we were at Bishop and Abby’s? We were the last ones to leave?”
I nodded. “Yeah, I remember. I followed you home.”
“He wanted to go with me, do you remember?”
I laughed. “That’s right. He wouldn’t listen to me when I called him.”
Her smile drifted away for a moment as she looked at Jack, then at me. “Do you think he senses something’s wrong with me?”
With a half shrug, I replied, “He could. Dogs are known for being able to sense things like anxiety, seizures, stress. I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if he was picking up on something.”
She nodded, looked down at the food, and picked up her fork.
I motioned to her plate with my fork. “I’m dying to take a bite, but I’ll wait for you to try it first.”
Her cheeks turned a soft shade of pink. “Oh, sorry!”
She cut off a piece, then placed it into her mouth and closed her eyes as she chewed. My cock instantly went hard when she let out a slow moan, and her face morphed into one of pure pleasure.
Christ Almighty, she was beautiful.
“That is so darn good.”
It was my turn to try it. “Shit, that is the best lasagna I’ve ever had.”
“I bet she makes her own sauce too. Did you know Candace was in medical school?”
That little bit of information made me stop chewing. “No way. Really?”
Bella nodded. “Yep. She hated it and quit. That’s when Greer reached out and asked her to come help with the bookstore. What she really loves to do is bake and cook. I’m slowly trying to steal her away from Greer.”
I laughed and took a bite of bread. It was so damn nice to have such an easy, carefree conversation with Bella. We had definitely grown closer the last few weeks, but today was the first day I truly felt like she was present with me, the weight of her secret lifted off her shoulders.
I would never tell her how I had hardly slept a wink last night. I had woken up early, kissed her goodbye, and hit the gym, taking all my anger and frustration out on a punching bag until my knuckles ached and nearly bled. It was Kyle who had come in and stopped me from tearing the damn thing out of the ceiling. Bella hadn’t even told me everything that had happened that day, and truth be told, I wasn’t sure I would be able to listen to it in detail…not that I would ever want her to relive it.
The anger I felt was something I’d never experienced before. Not toward Arabella. I was mad at myself. For not knowing what had happened. For not pushing her to talk to me, especially when I knew deep down something was terribly wrong. I was angry for the things I said to her. When I told her I’d wanted to hate her…fuck. The way her eyes had widened and filled with tears.
Bella was talking about some lavender sugar cookies Candace was trying to perfect as I nodded and smiled. The last thing I wanted was for her to see the rage inside of me. I’d already put things into motion before I’d picked her up, starting my search for the fucker who’d raped her. I had a stack of letters I still had from when Bella and I wrote to each other in college. I had been reading through them to see if I could figure out who the girl was who’d found Bella, or the name of someone in the study group.
“I think with all the lavender we have growing at the apiary, and what Abby is growing, we could really do something with it, like the culinary lavender.”
I nodded again. “I like the idea about the syrup.”
A wide grin appeared on her face. “Me too. Mom and Dad still aren’t so sure about it, though. They only want to focus on the bees, and I get that. It’s just…I have all these ideas. I love working with the bees. I would never give that up. And I love the store, and the café was just meant to be fun, but…”
“But what?”
She looked down at her plate and chewed on her lip. “I really love doing up the baskets. It’s been so much fun, Hunter. I was thinking it might be great to do specialty baskets, and Candace mentioned advertising them. You know, like for gifts. Bridal showers or baby showers. Engagement baskets or for anniversaries. Things like that. Make them more personal, and somehow bring the bees into each basket. Something bee-themed, I mean.”
“Then do it.”
She let out a humorless laugh. “I don’t have the time. I mean, in the winter I do, since the bees aren’t as demanding then. Plus, I have the store and the café now, which is really becoming popular with locals. I’m only open a few days a week right now, but I think I could easily open more, especially if Candace wanted to help out.”
“Why don’t you hire Candace to help with the café full time?”
She frowned. “Greer would kill me.”
I laughed. “No, she wouldn’t. If I know Greer, she wants Candace to follow her dreams as well. And if being in a kitchen is her dream, Greer would never hold her back.”
Bella’s eyes lit up. “Do you think so? I mean, you really think Greer wouldn’t mind if Candace came to work at the café instead? I would give her full run of it.”
“I don’t think she’d mind at all. You should talk to them both.”
“I’m going to!” she said with a giddy chuckle. “I’m definitely going to talk to them about it.”
“Good. And can I just say your laugh is one of the most beautiful sounds I’ve ever heard.”
Her smile softened as she stared at me. “I’ve missed you and how you make me feel so special.”
I reached across the table and took Bella’s hand in mine. “That’s because you are special, sweetheart.”
Bella’s face grew serious as she set her fork down and let out a long breath. “Hunter, thank you for being so sweet to me and planning this romantic lunch. You’ll never know how much it means.” She drew in a breath, then went on. “I know I keep saying I’m sorry for not trusting in our love enough to tell you what really happened. I feel both elated you know the truth, and so upset with myself that I wasn’t honest with you. It’s such a strange mix of emotions.”
I squeezed her hand. “We both have a lot of guilt for the way we handled things, but I do not begrudge you whatsoever for not being able to talk about it at the time, Bella. I can’t even imagine what it was like for you. The only thing I want to do now is focus on us, on your healing, and being able to move on from the past. We have a beautiful future ahead of us, and that’s all I want to concentrate on.”
She dug her teeth into her lower lip before she spoke again. “I want that to. I don’t know how long it will take before I’ll feel comfortable being with you sexually. I want to,” she said on a heavy breath. “Believe me, I want you so much.”
Smiling, I replied, “I want you, too, but I’ll wait for as long as it takes, Bella. We’ll go slow and only do what you’re comfortable with. As far as I’m concerned, you’re in control.”
A wicked little smile played across her face as she pulled her hand from mine and leaned back in the chair. “I’m in control?”
I nodded. “Yes.”
“So, does that mean I can do whatever I want to you?”
Jesus fucking Christ, is she trying to kill me with that question?
My dick instantly went hard again. I forced myself to swallow the lump in my throat as I nodded. “Yes.”
The corners of Bella’s mouth turned up in the most adorable smile. “Can I stay with you tonight, Hunter?”
My heart instantly started to beat faster, and I tried like hell not to bounce in my seat. “Of course, you can. You never have to ask.”
She chewed nervously on her lip. “And you’ll let me touch you…and you won’t be upset if you can’t
touch me back?”
I moved in my seat and wiped at my forehead. “Are those heaters up too high for you?”
She glanced up at one of the heaters and slowly shook her head. “No.”
Wiping at the back of my neck, I said, “Christ, it’s hot. It’s so hot in here.”
Another wicked smile appeared on her face. “You didn’t answer my question, Hunter.”
Grabbing a napkin, I blotted at the sweat on my forehead. “Will you let me kiss you?”
“Yes.”
I wasn’t sure if I was panting like a dog, or if it was all in my head. Clearing my throat, I somehow managed to speak. “Yes, Bella, I’ll let you do whatever you want to me. But just know, I think I might pass out if we keep talking about this.”
She laughed and picked up my water and handed it to me. Then she went back to eating like she hadn’t just made me horny as hell.
The rest of lunch was filled with small talk, thank God. My dick had finally gotten the hint that nothing was happening right then, and the cool breeze from outside that drifted under the curtains into the gazebo helped cool me off.
Once we were finished, we packed up everything, put it in my truck, and headed back into the house to warm up.
“That was amazing. I’m stuffed,” Bella said.
“I am too. I’m going to have to ask Candace to make up a lasagna for me to freeze.”
Bella glanced around the kitchen again and then looked back at me. “This kitchen is truly beautiful.”
Looking around, I nodded.
Our eyes met, but I couldn’t read what was in hers. “I hope you don’t think I’m pushing you, Bella. By bringing you here and all. I’m not going to lie to you, though. When I bought this place, I had you in mind. A future with you. I still want to marry you and have a family, and I know…I know now is not the time to talk about things like that. I just…I love you so much, and I wish I could take all your pain and hurt away.”
A tear rolled down her cheek, and she quickly wiped it away as she walked up to me. “Before…before the…the…”
I took her hands in mine. “Before you were raped.”
She swallowed hard. “Yes. We had dreams of a life together. I’ve never stopped wanting that life with you—I simply didn’t think it would ever be possible.”
Surrender to Me (Boggy Creek Valley Book 4) Page 13